Tell me easy fast ways to lose weight

[Pork Soda]

I was wondering if anyone knew if there is some good ways to lose weight. Im not obese or anything so can anyone post some good ways?

[A7hena]

start shooting up heroin?

[EvaMonkey]

Exercise and a healthy diet are the best ways

[Sloppy Flow]

You can loose weight easily by shooting yourself in the foot.

[Chemicalweapons]

Stop posting on ebaums is sure to help.

[Nocturnal]

exercise, and reduced calories (not less than 1000 below your BMR)

or

exercise, and atkins diet

[Cancon]

Get cancer!!

[camilo]

Get Aids..

[Pork Soda]

well do you know any good exercises thats what im asking.

[Kiki J]

I wish i knew! I just try not to eat very much, but be sensible at the same time.

[Pat The Baker]

Tie yourself to the back of a car and try to keep up, make sure you are doing this on hot asphalt.

[Kellenator]

well do you know any good exercises thats what im asking.
running or jogging

[Aclepa]

smoking makes your metabolism faster.

[camilo]

Fapping......

[beardo]

1 quart of water before each meal, this wont leave much room in your stomach, and you will lose weight pretty fast!

[Marchosias]

Easy... Put down the fork! - FACE!

[DaDigits]

Exercise and a healthy diet are the best ways
The healthy diet is not realy necessary. I just work out every other day and I have lost 10 lbs in about a month. I eat what ever the fuck I want I just don't sit on my ass all day anymore.

[Pork Soda]

DaDigits what is your workout?

[PrintNameHere]

MDMA / Ecstasy.

You will lose like 3 pounds in one night.

Go to a rave on MDMA / Ecstasy.

You will lose like 6 pounds.

[BaxterII]

1. binge
2. purge
and repeat

[NORNEVMX448]

staple your stomach

[Crystal Ball]

Hot monkey love burns a lot of calories.

[CheeseMonkeys]

Do 100 sit-ups everyday. And you will start to get muscle and lose some fat.

[clutch-monkey]

ingest tapeworm larvae. you can do this by eating raw pork. these will absorb a lot of the carbohydrates etc you take in on a normal diet. its like a poor mans stomach staple.
this was my applied physiology assignment last semester, i proved it could work, however do not eat the eggs, only the larvae.

[MorPHineDrinKer]

Maintain a diet where you eat below 2000 calories and keep this up for 14 days. On every 15th day, pig out and eat anything you want for the entire day. It worked for me, but then I just got tired of doing it. Believe it or not, I had lost 30 lbs doing this.

[branscombe420]

and all CRACK diet..

You are obese.

[shdwpuppet]

1)Eat slightly less.
2)Drink tons of more water (about half your weight in ounces at the minimium)
3)Excersize a shit load more. It doesn't matter what excersize it is as long as you keep your heart rate up for about half of an hour at the least per day.

or

1)Do coke, heroin, E, or meth.
2)Purge
3)Anorexia

You choose.

[Msn]

cut your right leg off.

[DaDigits]

DaDigits what is your workout?
I lift wieghts and do a shit load of Ab shit. I do it every Tue & Thur for an hour and then on Sat for 2 hours. I also walk every day.

[el_real_madrazo]

if you don't mind telling us, what is your current weight and what is your desired weight?

[Budd]

Running is the best exercise to lose weight.

[DaDigits]

if you don't mind telling us, what is your current weight and what is your desired weight?
Who are you talking about the thread starter or some one else?

[el_real_madrazo]

Who are you talking about the thread starter or some one else?

the thread starter of course, but anyone is entitled to answer if they want to

[legking]

Diet and exercise. Period. Fool around with any quack diet you wish, in the end it comes down to how much you take in versus how much you put out.

The biggest thing most people can do to clean up their diet and lose weight is...

Drink 4-6 litres of water a day. Seriously. Think of it this way: all the processes and chemical reactions in your body require water. The more water you ingest, the more processes can occur. The sum total of processes = your basal metabolic rate. I'm oversimplifying a little, but not only will you burn more calories at rest while doing this, more water'll help flush out all the impurities you keep in your system. Also, it helps as an appetite suppressant, and most people are so dehydrated their bodies interpret it as hunger. Strange, huh?

I don't know how quickly you want to lose the weight, but personally I'm beginning a 16-week cutting program that will leave me with 5-7% body fat. Lose weight any quicker than that and you're bound to lose muscle, which you don't want to do.

Oh, and you COULD do meth, but we won't go there...

[edit] I can embellish on the program if you like

[el_real_madrazo]

Diet and exercise. Period. Fool around with any quack diet you wish, in the end it comes down to how much you take in versus how much you put out.

The biggest thing most people can do to clean up their diet and lose weight is...

Drink 4-6 litres of water a day. Seriously. Think of it this way: all the processes and chemical reactions in your body require water. The more water you ingest, the more processes can occur. The sum total of processes = your basal metabolic rate. I'm oversimplifying a little, but not only will you burn more calories at rest while doing this, more water'll help flush out all the impurities you keep in your system. Also, it helps as an appetite suppressant, and most people are so dehydrated their bodies interpret it as hunger. Strange, huh?

I don't know how quickly you want to lose the weight, but personally I'm beginning a 16-week cutting program that will leave me with 5-7% body fat. Lose weight any quicker than that and you're bound to lose muscle, which you don't want to do.

Oh, and you COULD do meth, but we won't go there...

[edit] I can embellish on the program if you like

about the water, does it have to be water? what if you drink 4-6 liters of say natural orange juice or apple juice instead of just plain water?

[Superior_to_you]

I was wondering if anyone knew if there is some good ways to lose weight. Im not obese or anything so can anyone post some good ways?

The fastest way would be over excercising and starvation dieting...

The healthiest way would be proper amounts of excercise and a regulated diet.

[Yeti Patrol]

Eat less food you fat pile of shit.

[Schizophrenic]

Sew your mouth shut with a rusty sewing needle. The blood coming from the holes will quickly crust over your lips, denying you access to the thread, so there's no way you'd be able to open your mouth again for a looong time. Enjoy, you should start seeing results within 2-3 days

[Akvod]

Don't be lazy. Pay your dues and earn what you want. Anyway if you want to lose some weight then go to your local gym and join. Get a personal trainer to figure out a work out plan and get a session once in a while to see your progress. Some may include special programs that can do the technical stuff like measuring how much fat you have (I found out that only 3% of my weight is from fat.) Some programs and trainers can even make a diet. You may also want to go to the doctor first through. Make sure you know what you can and cannot do and maybe ask them for the diets instead of the trainers.

DO NOT start eating less. I heard from some trainer guy: don't think of your self as over fed. If you start drasticly eatting less then you'll only teach your body to store fat because of all this technical stuff about metabolism I have no clue about.

We're not profesionals so don't ask us. Ask profesionals and like Nike says "Just Do it". Don't try to find another way around and hopefully you'll feel good about your self. Don't be embarassed even if you are embarassing. Fight through it and you'll make it through.

[refoops]

Theres only one way (http://www.migandi.org.uk/images/truth-adverts/slim-fast.jpg) to lose weight.

[pat99872]

stop eating and hit the gym. thats the only advice I can give you

[JordanSauce]

If your not obese then why do you want to lose weight?

[hackslol]

I'd suggest ritually lifting weights, running, and combine that with an active sport that you find enjoyable. A healthy diet, is very, important.

I only drink 3 things now: water, milk, and gatorade during games. It's really simple, I just laugh at all of the fat people complaining how hard it is to lose weight.

[Akvod]

Don't laugh at em. We got our problems and even through every body complained once in their life assuming YOU never had laughing at someone's misfortune is simply: bad.

Don't do it. You don't have to go and support them just let them do it and make their road easier. Not everyone is mentaly tough enough and words can break down someone.

And if you were just joking then sorry =P

[hackslol]

It was simply a figure of speach, of course I don't laugh at them. But like I said, if you manage to find something that you like (for example football, soccer, basketball, etc, it will help propel you).

It's not so much as for looks, but your physical health, and mental health; it's just as important to exercise your brain as it is to excercise your body. You can't realisticly have one and not the other, which is why it's important to constantly work on your body, and mind. I think that if you look at that you'll get 15 extra years of life if you go out and exercise, you'll find the motivation to do what has to be done in order to stay healthy.

[appleb]

about the water, does it have to be water? what if you drink 4-6 liters of say natural orange juice or apple juice instead of just plain water?

Orange/apple juice is quite high in sugar, even if it's naturally squeezed. You're better off eating the fruit itself, so you can get the fibre and the sugars won't dissolve into your system as quickly. Drinking 4-6 liters of juice per day would also get rather expensive. You're better off drinking plain water.

[hackslol]

Orange/apple juice is quite high in sugar, even if it's naturally squeezed. You're better off eating the fruit itself, so you can get the fibre and the sugars won't dissolve into your system as quickly. Drinking 4-6 liters of juice per day would also get rather expensive. You're better off drinking plain water.

Correct, you got a lot more vitamins and such actually eating the fruit. I make a habbit of eating atleast 5 fruits a day, usually more.

[Kiki J]

If all else fails you could always snort coke. And then get half your nostril burnt off.

[Travis Bickle]

Diet and excercise is the best.
If you work out with weights you will also burn fat faster as muscle burns fat.
Watch what you eat, it's really not that hard.

I start every meal, other than breakfast, with a salad. This takes up room so you are less likely to eat alot of the main course. It's not that you have to stop eating fatty food, you just have to take it in moderation. I eat pizza about twice a month and fast food mayby once or twice.

It does take a measure of discipline but you will love the results. And chicks love a tight stomache. In fact, I will be showing off my abs and my O face this very day. If I were a fat bastard this would never happen, ever.

[Akvod]

I was wondering if girls cared about having muscle and being lean or is it just the face and clothing?

[Zazoo]

I was wondering if girls cared about having muscle and being lean or is it just the face and clothing?

Both but not grotesque muscles. I hear chicks pop a comment sometimes that some guy has a big biceps or whatever :/.
But face and clothing is important too and ofcourse humour :).

[Akvod]

Yep humor... "What is the deal with air line food?" (I think that's how it goes)

[Poker Star]

You could smoke crack or be like this girl.

http://www.anksioznost-depresija.50megs.com/images/bulimia.jpg

[18C]

Rub Preparation H all over your body.

[mr.wow]

yeah, just keep on exercising. It doesnt matter how hard you do it or exhausted you would be, but it matters how much you do it

[J.T.]

1. binge
2. purge
and repeat

Why would you binge? Youre just running the risk of eating excessive calories when you're trying to lose.

I think you just mean purge. Noob

[Enjoi]

just quit eating

[Initiative T]

Exercise and a healthy diet are the best ways


YOUR giving advice on how to lose weight? Well my tip, Is eat only one and a half meals aday and work out like an animal...like me. You get toned and lose any extra fat.

[MalYoung]

I lost 60 pounds in 8 months by doing this:
Exercise- I walked about 2 miles a day, everyday
Quit snacking- seriously, no snacks other than your 3 meals a day, but if you need something to snack on, try pretzels or popsicles, very low in fat, and taste good too

[strikeandburn]

Best Way to lose wieght...

i don't know, but go in a chatroom full of anorexics and ask them.

[YouEnjoyMyself]

I am going through the same thing right now, trying to lose weight. I've lost five lbs so far in about a week by cutting out all the shit in my diet, also I got a bike. I would run, but my knee is really messed up and I don't want to damage it even more, and riding a bike is good therapy for knee injuries.

A few years ago in high school I decided to stop drinking soda. It wasn't a weight issue as much as I felt I didn't need to be putting that shit into my body. Well, I lost about 10lbs in a month just by not drinking soda and keeping everything else the same.

So my recommendation to you, exercise at least 30 minutes a day, stop drinking soda and cut out all the shitty foods in your diet. By shitty foods I mean the fast food, the chips, the candy, and as much of the processed food as you can.

Recently I've given up eating fast food, and I don't miss it at all. It's much more satisfying to cook up something yourself and enjoy it while knowing what you put into it. Also, I don't drink anything other then water and maybe 3-4 beers a week (compared to the 20-40 beers a week of past months.)

[Pork Soda]

Does rubbing preparation H on your stomache really work I saw someone else post that. Hmmm it probably only makes you look skinnier for a day then you look the same the next day theres no way it can be permanent.

[TakeAdvntgeOfMe]

Does rubbing preparation H on your stomache really work I saw someone else post that. Hmmm it probably only makes you look skinnier for a day then you look the same the next day theres no way it can be permanent.
No, you need to put icy hot on your testicles for it to work correctly:boink:

[smallxfry]

fastest way to lose weight...start puking.
if ur not into that...a good way to curb ur appetite is to drink water..
it will keep u full...you shud also try eating little portions very alot. it will keep ur metabolism up.
dont starve urself..doesnt work unless u do it for a long time. and then u will gain all the weight back. a girl i went to high school with was anorexic and thot she was hot shit...too bad freshmen 15 was more like freshmen 35 for her. ha bitch...

[Strados]

Unfortunately there's really no such thing as "fast and easy" when it comes to health. Maintenance is easy once you get to where you want to be (as long as you maintain a healthy lifestyle) but getting there may be a bit of a problem.
One thing you can do to start getting on the right track is consume nothing but fruit juice for an entire weekend (48 hours). It helps flush your system while still giving you some calories and vitamins.

do exercise either in the morning when you get up or at night, morning and night are when your metabolism is slower (from sleeping) and exercising then keeps your metabolism going higher for a longer period of time. i.e. you burn more calories longer.

make sure you east enough or your body will go into "starvation mode" and it'll be really freakin hard to lose anything unless you stop eating altogether.

[Atol]

Masturbate furiously.

[esruC]

I was wondering if anyone knew if there is some good ways to lose weight. Im not obese or anything so can anyone post some good ways?

You know to lose 10 pounds of ugly fat?


Cut off your head!

Just keep gaining weight. It'll keep you warm in the winter.

[Bullet]

Don't eat and exercise. 10 pounds within a few days.

[psychotic n00b]

try playin DDR untill you pass out wake up drink WATER and repeat.


-James

[JordanSauce]

Good tip, say your trying to make weight for wrestling or something, and you only need to lose weight for a day or 2. Wrap your whole body in saran wrap, put on a couple layers of heavy clothing and go run a mile, you will lose up to 10lbs in water weight once you remove the saran wrap but you will gain it back soon enough.

[Jay Dee]

for wrestiling, right before a meet, if im like 2-3 pounds over, i just sleep in a trashbag, and eat a whole lemon rinde and all

[MattyB]

Kill yourself and you won't have to worry about anything.

[Jk1725]

I lose 3 pounds a day at wrestling practice everyday.............but I eat and gain it all back because i have awesome metabolism where i stay the same weight no matter what......................Oh I'm sorry am i rubbing it in that im not fat and you are?????:) j/k

[PsiRedEye22]

Put down the fork!

FFFFFACE!

[Enjoi]

your never going to lose weight, face it

[burgerqueen]

Hi! It's just for fun :))

Do you know it?

http://www.burger.taopark.home.pl - the craziest diet in the world!

[VF Logbreed]

Don't go on ANY diets. Don't eat less than what you have been. You will lose weight if you start running.

[branscombe420]

snort cocaine.

im dead seriuos

[mr.wow]

liposuction! or just drink soda for a very long time

[Wild Phoenix]

Let's see if I remember anything from my Nutrition and Health Management class. THIS IS A VERY ROUGH GUIDE OF A HEALTHY LIVING.

There are a couple of elements to a healthy living (which are all connected, and I mean CONNECTED):
-A balanced diet
-A good exercise plan
-Sleep/stress management
There are some more but I forgot.


1. A balanced diet.

First of all, NEVER COUNT CALORIES!!! Remember, your body used 50-70% of the calories just to be able to digest your food. Diets with food restrictions in the long run do not work. Do not wait until you are hungry to eat. If you are hungry, then your body is starving. When your body is starving, it will store more food as fat when you do eat, because it doesn't know when you will eat again.

Second, try to find out what metabolic type you are: CARBS, PROTEIN, or MIXED. Most fruits and vegetables contain the needed carbs for your body and most meats (mainly dark) contain more of the proteins. Carb types should eat roughly more than half their meals with carbs, and about a quarter of protein and very little fat and oils. Protein types should eat almost half their meals with protein foods and a little less of carbs and fats/oils. Mixed types are the hardest to feed because they have to adapt to both types.

Third, YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. Try and eat more organic foods. Most foods nowadays are commercialized just to make money. Our diets have changed more in the past 40 years than in the last 4000. Our bodies cannot adapt fast enough to accept all the chemicals and alterations in foods. Remember, a long time ago, we were eating plants and animals as much as today, but were a lot healthier and in greater shape. The human body was made to eat from Mother Nature. If our bodies can't recognize the foods, they will store it in the fat cells for later use. For example, why are dairy cows so fat? The farmers feed them corn, woodchips, and there have been traces of aluminum in their feed. Why? Because it's cheaper, and will fatten up the cows to produce more milk than expected. The cow's bodies don't recognize these types of foods and will store them as fat. Even with fish, mercury have been poisening their bodies. It is better to buy meats that come from free-ranged cows or fish from lakes and streams that are higher on mountains and away from commercial industry. When eating organic meats, it's okay not to cut off the fat. In fact, it's healthier to eat them, because they are not filled with chemicals. The 'bad' (or trans) fat is filled with chemicals and this is what we should watch out for.

Fourth, drink water, especially while exercising. If you're hungry, it sometimes doesn't mean you lack food, it means you lack water. Water is important for digesting foods, for enzymatic actions (fat burning), and energy production. It will help keep your body functioning.

-Salt
Most salts you buy at the stores are bad for you because they are refined. A healthy choice of salt is sea salt, preferably Celtic, New Zealand, or French sea salt, because they have less water pollutioning. It is recomended to add a pinch of sea salt to every litre of water we drink because our bodies need nature salt to keep the body healthy. A pinch of sea salt won't affect the taste and is good for you.

2. A good exercise plan

EVERYTHING ADDS UP. Today there are so many "advances" to make our lives easier. Cellphones, cars, escalators/elavators, computers, remote controls (television for that matter) medical drugs, etc. On average, people who use cellphones gain 1 pound a year (not having to get up to use a phone, dialing phone numbers, it all adds up). You should always take the stairs than escalators/elavators and walk, run, bike, and even taking a bus (walking to and from bus stops) is better than driving to places.

It's very hard to lose weight by exercising, isn't it? That's because exercise alone does little to help lose body fat. Exercise is the key to keep fat off. Our bodies adapt quickly to exercises in the long run (your body will get used to the exercise if it is repetitive, like running). If you like to jog, jog backwards for a quarter of a mile for every mile you jog forwards, to keep your body guessing. Change your exercise type every two weeks. Switch between areobics, resistance and any other type of exercise so your body doesn't get used to a particular exercise too quickly.

You cannot target a specific area of your body to burn fat. It is physically impossible. If it were true, millions of people would have six-packs because they do 100+ crunches/situps a day. Instead try and move your whole body (areobics for example is a great type of exercise) which will help you lose fat all around faster.

The opposite is said for developing muscles. Sure, dumbell curls would give you bigger biceps, but when are you going to do something that just involves curling your bicep? If you say lifting stuff, you're wrong. Lifting requires abdominal muscles as well as leg muscles. Using punching bags are great because they stimulate all parts of the body.



3. Sleep/stress management

This part is probably the hardest to describe. I can't really explain it in text.

You should always get to sleep at around 10:30. Your body repairs itself when it is at rest. At around 10:30-1:30 the body repairs itself physically, but only when sleeping. Same thing after 2:00 when it repairs itself psychologically. If you go to bed at around midnight, your body has already lost 2 hours of physical repair. This doesn't mean it will cram the rest of repair in the last hour.

Sleeping late will screw up your body in the morning, and that will affect your whole day. Sleeping late will release more Cortisol (a stress hormone) in the morning and during the day. Cortisol helps you get up in the morning and stay up until the middle of the day. Cortisol is unhealthy in large amounts, which will happen if you don't get enough rest. You will feel it in the daytime because there will be high levels of fatigue, your attention span will decrease and so will your ability to reason. This will also be very stressful for your body in exercising because it will decrease your recovery time and energy levels.

No matter what kind of light hits your skin, your body will think it's daytime and will release Cortisol to keep you awake. Computers, tvs, bright lights and digital clocks are all pretty bad to use at night time.

-Stimulants
Sugar and caffeine are both widely used stimulants today. I hope you know what stimulants are so I don't have to explain it. Caffeine has a half-life of 6 hours. An 8 ounce cup of coffee has about 300mg of caffeine in it, so if you drink 8 ounces of coffee at 3:00pm, you will have 150mg of caffeine at 9:00pm and 75mg at 3:00am. Try not consuming any stimulants after 12:00pm.



Other facts:

Supplements: There is not really any 'quick fixes'. Miracle pills DO NOT work. There are way too many side effects to gain profit from these pills. Most of them are dangerous. Green tea is probably the healthiest though. There is no way around mother nature except mother nature.



Again, this is a rough guide. I DO NOT TAKE ANY CREDIT OF THIS.
Most of the statements come from Paul Chek (http://www.chekinstitute.com/).

Wow, that took a lot out of me. Hope some of you read this. I know I left out a lot of things I wanted to put in but I'm tired now.

[cpvr]

Don't eat cake xD
Exercise; walk daily, do push ups and sit ups daily.

[mr.wow]

liposuction! or just drink soda for a very long time
fuck I think that was the night where I was drinking

[guitargod]

it appears so...

soda does not cause weight loss...

[Riukken]

Do crystal meth... that usually makes you lose like 15 to 40 pounds. But since your not obese I guess you just shouldn't eat anything over 200 grams of fat.

[ElectricPeanut]

Quit ur bitchin, eat healthier, eat less, and jog 1 hour a day. It's prefered that you lift before hand to boost your metabolism a bit. And don't eat no less than 300 calories under your default burned calorie limit. Theres a certian equation you can use to see how much you burn a day, look it up.

[r(2)Truth]

Firstly, don't go on diets that focus on one aspect, while neglecting the other... Mabye see a nutritionist if you aren't lazy for details. Starving your body is the worst thing to do (headaches, weak body, etc.)

Cardio work, or stuff that makes you sweat is good. So jogging, rope jumping, swiming (many laps), sports, etc, are all good.

Most importantly, do NOT eat snacks between meals... those are what prevents you from losing weight. In fact, you can eat more at breakfast, lunch and dinner, because you will need the energy to work out. Essentially, you will get muscles, and not be skinny, but well built instead.

[RalphyBoy]

I was wondering if anyone knew if there is some good ways to lose weight. Im not obese or anything so can anyone post some good ways?

Run.....and run some more.