stojan211287
12-12-2005, 12:47 PM
Another text I wrote, tell me what you think…
You know people, just a few days ago I saw The Miss World pageant on TV, and frankly I was a little disappointed. I always get disappointed when the girl that I think is the prettiest doesn’t win. My girls was Miss Mexico, she was my absolute favorite. She looked great in that evening dress, and she got all her questions right. Yeah, those questions…Isn’t than the stupidest thing you ever heard? These questions are simple to the core… They always ask something like: “So, Miss, can you tell me, what is the usual number of legs in a human being?”. And then you see her, confused, looking at the audience for answers…She steps out with one leg…that’s one…then with the other…that’s it! And the she proudly states: “ Three!”. Personally I think these questions have no place in the pageant…you’re looking for the most beautiful girl, she doesn’t need to be smart…I’d like to see a swimsuit competition during the Nobel prize ceremony. “Mr. Kiri, you have earned you prize for your enormous contribution to modern physics by studying radioactivity, but you won’t get the money until we see you in a bikini. Take off that awful suit and let us see your ass.”. And he’s happy because all the radiation practically shaved his bikini zone…But Miss Island won, she started crying, and then they gave her the crown, the flowers, the money…all because she’s beautiful. If you’re rewarded for being beautiful can you as well be punished for being ugly? You know, you’re walking down the street, you see an ugly man, and you decide that he doesn’t deserve the Widescreen Samsung TV that he’s carrying, so you just take it…That could solve a lot of problems…you walk into you’re blind date’s apartment, and if you see no TV, no Stereo, or even a walkman then its time to run.
But these girls are not pretty because they were blessed by God, they are beautiful because someone fixed all the flaws on their bodies…They get some plastic surgeon to tune them up…Cosmetic plastic surgery pisses me off…It’s not natural…If God wanted us to change the way we look, we would’ve been born with a set of spare parts. “Ok, the baby’s out, push one more time for the instruction manual! Oh, wait here come the spare noses first…My this one’s big, he won’t be using it for sure, but do you want me to leave it inside in case you change your mind?”. Come on, I can’t figure out what to wear in the morning let alone chose which chin goes best with these leather pants…Another thing I hate about plastic surgeons is those drawings they do before the operation…You can see them in the op-room, doodling on the body : “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing…I found these markers in the drawer, I thought I could use them…I think I’ll cut this breast in the shape of a daisy…”. I’m scared to leave my life in the hands of a man who can’t figure out where my excess fat is without a grid to help him. ” Ok, three squares south of the nipple, right beside the bellybutton. Got it!” I think we should give them a coloring book pre-op, if they start coloring outside the lines, I gonna go look for another doctor!
Chicks also often go to these tanning parlors, and aren’t those great places…You spend tons of money on sun glasses, suntan lotions and other stuff to be safe from UV rays, and then you go to a solarium where they bomb you with that shit…instant cancer! I read a sign at the entrance that said “You can look tan for the rest of your life!”. Now I know what they mean!
If solariums are a normal thing, why isn’t there other shit that can endanger your life without reason? Why aren’t there topless condoms? “Topless condoms, a turtle-neck for your penis!”. A bathtub with a built in hair dryer and toaster? A helicopter with an ejector button?
To be continued…
You know people, just a few days ago I saw The Miss World pageant on TV, and frankly I was a little disappointed. I always get disappointed when the girl that I think is the prettiest doesn’t win. My girls was Miss Mexico, she was my absolute favorite. She looked great in that evening dress, and she got all her questions right. Yeah, those questions…Isn’t than the stupidest thing you ever heard? These questions are simple to the core… They always ask something like: “So, Miss, can you tell me, what is the usual number of legs in a human being?”. And then you see her, confused, looking at the audience for answers…She steps out with one leg…that’s one…then with the other…that’s it! And the she proudly states: “ Three!”. Personally I think these questions have no place in the pageant…you’re looking for the most beautiful girl, she doesn’t need to be smart…I’d like to see a swimsuit competition during the Nobel prize ceremony. “Mr. Kiri, you have earned you prize for your enormous contribution to modern physics by studying radioactivity, but you won’t get the money until we see you in a bikini. Take off that awful suit and let us see your ass.”. And he’s happy because all the radiation practically shaved his bikini zone…But Miss Island won, she started crying, and then they gave her the crown, the flowers, the money…all because she’s beautiful. If you’re rewarded for being beautiful can you as well be punished for being ugly? You know, you’re walking down the street, you see an ugly man, and you decide that he doesn’t deserve the Widescreen Samsung TV that he’s carrying, so you just take it…That could solve a lot of problems…you walk into you’re blind date’s apartment, and if you see no TV, no Stereo, or even a walkman then its time to run.
But these girls are not pretty because they were blessed by God, they are beautiful because someone fixed all the flaws on their bodies…They get some plastic surgeon to tune them up…Cosmetic plastic surgery pisses me off…It’s not natural…If God wanted us to change the way we look, we would’ve been born with a set of spare parts. “Ok, the baby’s out, push one more time for the instruction manual! Oh, wait here come the spare noses first…My this one’s big, he won’t be using it for sure, but do you want me to leave it inside in case you change your mind?”. Come on, I can’t figure out what to wear in the morning let alone chose which chin goes best with these leather pants…Another thing I hate about plastic surgeons is those drawings they do before the operation…You can see them in the op-room, doodling on the body : “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing…I found these markers in the drawer, I thought I could use them…I think I’ll cut this breast in the shape of a daisy…”. I’m scared to leave my life in the hands of a man who can’t figure out where my excess fat is without a grid to help him. ” Ok, three squares south of the nipple, right beside the bellybutton. Got it!” I think we should give them a coloring book pre-op, if they start coloring outside the lines, I gonna go look for another doctor!
Chicks also often go to these tanning parlors, and aren’t those great places…You spend tons of money on sun glasses, suntan lotions and other stuff to be safe from UV rays, and then you go to a solarium where they bomb you with that shit…instant cancer! I read a sign at the entrance that said “You can look tan for the rest of your life!”. Now I know what they mean!
If solariums are a normal thing, why isn’t there other shit that can endanger your life without reason? Why aren’t there topless condoms? “Topless condoms, a turtle-neck for your penis!”. A bathtub with a built in hair dryer and toaster? A helicopter with an ejector button?
To be continued…