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View Full Version : Is your son a computer hacker?


BassGuitar25
03-01-2006, 04:04 PM
As an enlightened, modern parent, I try to be as involved as possible in the lives of my six children. I encourage them to join team sports. I attend their teen parties with them to ensure no drinking or alcohol is on the premises. I keep a fatherly eye on the CDs they listen to and the shows they watch, the company they keep and the books they read. You could say I'm a model parent. My children have never failed to make me proud, and I can say without the slightest embellishment that I have the finest family in the USA.
Two years ago, my wife Carol and I decided that our children's education would not be complete without some grounding in modern computers. To this end, we bought our children a brand new Compaq to learn with. The kids had a lot of fun using the handful of application programs we'd bought, such as Adobe's Photoshop and Microsoft's Word, and my wife and I were pleased that our gift was received so well. Our son Peter was most entranced by the device, and became quite a pro at surfing the net. When Peter began to spend whole days on the machine, I became concerned, but Carol advised me to calm down, and that it was only a passing phase. I was content to bow to her experience as a mother, until our youngest daughter, Cindy, charged into the living room one night to blurt out: "Peter is a computer hacker!"

As you can imagine, I was amazed. A computer hacker in my own house! I began to monitor my son's habits, to make certain that Cindy wasn't just telling stories, as she is prone to doing at times.

After a few days of investigation, and some research into computer hacking, I confronted Peter with the evidence. I'm afraid to say, this was the only time I have ever been truly disappointed in one of my children. We raised them to be honest and to have integrity, and Peter betrayed the principles we tried to encourage in him, when he refused point blank to admit to his activities. His denials continued for hours, and in the end, I was left with no choice but to ban him from using the computer until he is old enough to be responsible for his actions.

After going through this ordeal with my own family, I was left pondering how I could best help others in similar situations. I'd gained a lot of knowledge over those few days regarding hackers. It's only right that I provide that information to other parents, in the hope that they will be able to tell if their children are being drawn into the world of hacking. Perhaps other parents will be able to steer their sons back onto the straight and narrow before extreme measures need to be employed.

To this end, I have decided to publish the top ten signs that your son is a hacker.

Has your son asked you to change ISPs?

Most American families use trusted and responsible Internet Service Providers, such as AOL. These providers have a strict "No Hacking" policy, and take careful measures to ensure that your internet experience is enjoyable, educational and above all legal. If your child is becoming a hacker, one of his first steps will be to request a change to a more hacker friendly provider.

I would advise all parents to refuse this request. One of the reasons your son is interested in switching providers is to get away from AOL's child safety filter. This filter is vital to any parent who wants his son to enjoy the internet without the endangering him through exposure to "adult" content. It is best to stick with the protection AOL provides, rather than using a home-based solution. If your son is becoming a hacker, he will be able to circumvent any home-based measures with surprising ease, using information gleaned from various hacker sites.

Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing?

Your son will probably try to install some hacker software. He may attempt to conceal the presence of the software in some way, but you can usually find any new programs by reading through the programs listed under "Install/Remove Programs" in your control panel. Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".

The best option is to confront your son with the evidence, and force him to remove the offending programs. He will probably try to install the software again, but you will be able to tell that this is happening, if your machine offers to "download" one of the hacker applications. If this happens, it is time to give your son a stern talking to, and possibly consider punishing him with a grounding.

Has your child asked for new hardware?

Computer hackers are often limited by conventional computer hardware. They may request "faster" video cards, and larger hard drives, or even more memory. If your son starts requesting these devices, it is possible that he has a legitimate need. You can best ensure that you are buying legal, trustworthy hardware by only buying replacement parts from your computer's manufacturer.

If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.

Does your child read hacking manuals?

If you pay close attention to your son's reading habits, as I do, you will be able to determine a great deal about his opinions and hobbies. Children are at their most impressionable in the teenage years. Any father who has had a seventeen year old daughter attempt to sneak out on a date wearing make up and perfume is well aware of the effect that improper influences can have on inexperienced minds.

There are, unfortunately, many hacking manuals available in bookshops today. A few titles to be on the lookout for are: "Snow Crash" and "Cryptonomicon" by Neal Stephenson; "Neuromancer" by William Gibson; "Programming with Perl" by Timothy O'Reilly; "Geeks" by Jon Katz; "The Hacker Crackdown" by Bruce Sterling; "Microserfs" by Douglas Coupland; "Hackers" by Steven Levy; and "The Cathedral and the Bazaar" by Eric S. Raymond.

If you find any of these hacking manuals in your child's possession, confiscate them immediately. You should also petition local booksellers to remove these titles from their shelves. You may meet with some resistance at first, but even booksellers have to bow to community pressure.

How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?

If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites. DOSing involves gaining access to the "command prompt" on other people's machines, and using it to tie up vital internet services. This can take up to eight hours. If your son is doing this, he is breaking the law, and you should stop him immediately. The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day.

Does your son use Quake?

Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.

If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school.

Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?

BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.

Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.

If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.

Thanks for reading this guide!

teamdescent
03-01-2006, 04:06 PM
Thats alot to read, and im lazy.

FonsecaWalls
03-01-2006, 04:48 PM
I actually read all of it, really interesting. But seriously, you can't control your kids with so many dam rules. Holy crap, they're gonna rebel for sure. Next, your kid is probably a pothead too.

Nacirema
03-01-2006, 06:34 PM
lol @ the Quake part...

UnchainedZer0
03-01-2006, 07:12 PM
After reading the whole quake part... Are you Jack Thompson?
"erratic behaviour at home and at school"
I play Halo 2. So far I haven't gone on a homicidal spree. Does this make me odd? I go so against the grain! It seems now the norm for all violent video game players is to kill/mame/rape everybody and everything. What about Fata1ity? Oh wait. You might not know him. He made more in one tournament then most middle class people. 150k. For playing a VIOLENT VIDEO GAME. He hasn't killed anybody.
Video games are addicting? Sure why not. Video games make kids anti-social! No. Having no friends makes you anti-social. Congratulations by the way. Now your child has no where to go with his "addiction." Now he can go find the very special world of Drugs and Alcohol. Yay!

I just went over it one last time. 30 minutes a day on the computer? Were exactly did you get your information from? This thread is a joke right?

CrAzY-HoRsE
03-01-2006, 08:41 PM
[/Rant] After reading the whole quake part... Are you Jack Thompson?
"erratic behaviour at home and at school"
I play Halo 2. So far I haven't gone on a homicidal spree. Does this make me odd? I go so against the grain! It seems now the norm for all violent video game players is to kill/mame/rape everybody and everything. What about Fata1ity? Oh wait. You might not know him. He made more in one tournament then most middle class people. 150k. For playing a VIOLENT VIDEO GAME. He hasn't killed anybody.
Video games are addicting? Sure why not. Video games make kids anti-social! No. Having no friends makes you anti-social. Congratulations by the way. Now your child has no where to go with his "addiction." Now he can go find the very special world of Drugs and Alcohol. Yay!

I just went over it one last time. 30 minutes a day on the computer? Were exactly did you get your information from? This thread is a joke right?[Rant]
It would be :blahblah: :blahblah: :blahblah: actually..
Anyways i read about half and laughed at the quake part..

BassGuitar25
03-01-2006, 10:54 PM
I didn't write it, but it is a joke (Hence the Joke and Humor forum.) It is long, but I thought it was funny.

http://www.adequacy.org/public/stories/2001.12.2.42056.2147.html

The_Canadian
03-01-2006, 11:26 PM
-AMD is a third-party processor!?!? NO ITS NOT!!!!
-Quake is a video game
-People dont need a good PC for hacking. Lolz, 256 MB video card for hax
-30 minutes!?!? Thats not alot of time...
-6 kids? you must be busy :raiseeyeb
-Mabye whats-his-name was playing a computer game and he had hacks for the game

TheGrimKreeper
03-01-2006, 11:27 PM
I got a laugh from the Quake and "Lunix" parts.

ThaiTanium22
03-02-2006, 01:09 AM
The real funny thing is that if you were to e-mail this as a chain letter to parents around the world they would probably believe it.

korn200492
03-02-2006, 10:06 AM
Watch out you guys, the only thing SMD are good for is hacking!

UnchainedZer0
03-02-2006, 05:44 PM
I didn't write it, but it is a joke (Hence the Joke and Humor forum.) It is long, but I thought it was funny.

Well then...my post was completely useless. I am sorry.

Did you guys see this new one?
http://www.adequacy.org/public/stories/2001.10.12.14247.119.html
They want the Band anthrax to change their name! WTF???

detinith
03-03-2006, 05:12 PM
Spelled linux wrong...and my brother did all of that stuff but he's just lookin for better FPS for CS:Source :)

Carbon Copy
03-03-2006, 05:23 PM
There might just be some poor kid out there upgrading his computer for a certain type of game or something,and all of a sudden the parent confronts him with the question about hacking, and you deny it. Then suddenly you're a liar. These type of guides are what mostly corrupt parents to be "overly protective". (I know this guide is a joke, but there are real ones such as these.) If you're going to talk about a subject such as this, atleast be a licensed pro. Well anyways, I LOL @ the quake, and programs such as Bonzi Buddy and flash. .

Big_Jake
03-03-2006, 09:24 PM
Has to be the biggest fucking post ever, to bad i cant read =(

refoops
03-03-2006, 10:12 PM
Holy Lmao, Click the actual link to the article and click some of the links in the text. XD

Eg) BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos,
(http://http://www.goldeneye.com/julian/boris.html)
^ Got that from the text.

Mad Rad
03-06-2006, 07:11 PM
Please somone tell me if this was meant to be a joke or not....

I SNAKED YOU
03-06-2006, 07:23 PM
Bonzi buddy isnt a hacker program but a harmless game like thing (hard to explain. and flash is a video player

Godlike
03-11-2006, 12:21 PM
Isnt bonzi buddy that purple monkey? You type whatever you want and it says it? It use to be a parrot named peedy.

WeE-MaN Or WhAT
03-18-2006, 04:24 AM
ya hey bass guiter are u xxxjutxxx off of runescape?

ChadR6783
03-18-2006, 08:13 AM
wow. did you write that all yourself? if so, good job. :)

Mad Rad
03-23-2006, 05:03 PM
ya hey bass guiter are u xxxjutxxx off of runescape?

ROFLMAOCOPTER

I SNAKED YOU
03-24-2006, 09:12 AM
wow. did you write that all yourself? if so, good job. :)
No he copied it off a site he found
edit: http://www.adequacy.org/public/stories/2001.12.2.42056.2147.html here it is

HereLiesMatthew
03-24-2006, 09:21 AM
Haahah, thats so whack.

Mad Rad
03-24-2006, 01:32 PM
I get pissed every time I read it, even though I know its a joke.

Mushy2008
03-29-2006, 06:27 PM
As an enlightened, modern parent, I try to be as involved as possible in the lives of my six children. I encourage them to join team sports. I attend their teen parties with them to ensure no drinking or alcohol is on the premises. I keep a fatherly eye on the CDs they listen to and the shows they watch, the company they keep and the books they read. You could say I'm a model parent. My children have never failed to make me proud, and I can say without the slightest embellishment that I have the finest family in the USA.
Two years ago, my wife Carol and I decided that our children's education would not be complete without some grounding in modern computers. To this end, we bought our children a brand new Compaq to learn with. The kids had a lot of fun using the handful of application programs we'd bought, such as Adobe's Photoshop and Microsoft's Word, and my wife and I were pleased that our gift was received so well. Our son Peter was most entranced by the device, and became quite a pro at surfing the net. When Peter began to spend whole days on the machine, I became concerned, but Carol advised me to calm down, and that it was only a passing phase. I was content to bow to her experience as a mother, until our youngest daughter, Cindy, charged into the living room one night to blurt out: "Peter is a computer hacker!"

As you can imagine, I was amazed. A computer hacker in my own house! I began to monitor my son's habits, to make certain that Cindy wasn't just telling stories, as she is prone to doing at times.

After a few days of investigation, and some research into computer hacking, I confronted Peter with the evidence. I'm afraid to say, this was the only time I have ever been truly disappointed in one of my children. We raised them to be honest and to have integrity, and Peter betrayed the principles we tried to encourage in him, when he refused point blank to admit to his activities. His denials continued for hours, and in the end, I was left with no choice but to ban him from using the computer until he is old enough to be responsible for his actions.

After going through this ordeal with my own family, I was left pondering how I could best help others in similar situations. I'd gained a lot of knowledge over those few days regarding hackers. It's only right that I provide that information to other parents, in the hope that they will be able to tell if their children are being drawn into the world of hacking. Perhaps other parents will be able to steer their sons back onto the straight and narrow before extreme measures need to be employed.

To this end, I have decided to publish the top ten signs that your son is a hacker.

Has your son asked you to change ISPs?

Most American families use trusted and responsible Internet Service Providers, such as AOL. These providers have a strict "No Hacking" policy, and take careful measures to ensure that your internet experience is enjoyable, educational and above all legal. If your child is becoming a hacker, one of his first steps will be to request a change to a more hacker friendly provider.

I would advise all parents to refuse this request. One of the reasons your son is interested in switching providers is to get away from AOL's child safety filter. This filter is vital to any parent who wants his son to enjoy the internet without the endangering him through exposure to "adult" content. It is best to stick with the protection AOL provides, rather than using a home-based solution. If your son is becoming a hacker, he will be able to circumvent any home-based measures with surprising ease, using information gleaned from various hacker sites.

Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing?

Your son will probably try to install some hacker software. He may attempt to conceal the presence of the software in some way, but you can usually find any new programs by reading through the programs listed under "Install/Remove Programs" in your control panel. Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".

The best option is to confront your son with the evidence, and force him to remove the offending programs. He will probably try to install the software again, but you will be able to tell that this is happening, if your machine offers to "download" one of the hacker applications. If this happens, it is time to give your son a stern talking to, and possibly consider punishing him with a grounding.

Has your child asked for new hardware?

Computer hackers are often limited by conventional computer hardware. They may request "faster" video cards, and larger hard drives, or even more memory. If your son starts requesting these devices, it is possible that he has a legitimate need. You can best ensure that you are buying legal, trustworthy hardware by only buying replacement parts from your computer's manufacturer.

If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.

Does your child read hacking manuals?

If you pay close attention to your son's reading habits, as I do, you will be able to determine a great deal about his opinions and hobbies. Children are at their most impressionable in the teenage years. Any father who has had a seventeen year old daughter attempt to sneak out on a date wearing make up and perfume is well aware of the effect that improper influences can have on inexperienced minds.

There are, unfortunately, many hacking manuals available in bookshops today. A few titles to be on the lookout for are: "Snow Crash" and "Cryptonomicon" by Neal Stephenson; "Neuromancer" by William Gibson; "Programming with Perl" by Timothy O'Reilly; "Geeks" by Jon Katz; "The Hacker Crackdown" by Bruce Sterling; "Microserfs" by Douglas Coupland; "Hackers" by Steven Levy; and "The Cathedral and the Bazaar" by Eric S. Raymond.

If you find any of these hacking manuals in your child's possession, confiscate them immediately. You should also petition local booksellers to remove these titles from their shelves. You may meet with some resistance at first, but even booksellers have to bow to community pressure.

How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?

If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites. DOSing involves gaining access to the "command prompt" on other people's machines, and using it to tie up vital internet services. This can take up to eight hours. If your son is doing this, he is breaking the law, and you should stop him immediately. The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day.

Does your son use Quake?

Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.

If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school.

Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?

BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.

Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.

If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.

Thanks for reading this guide!


This THing is old and its supposed to be a complete Joke...
u need to put a source link,

svenson_26
03-29-2006, 07:26 PM
This THing is old and its supposed to be a complete Joke...
u need to put a source link,

Was quoting that really worth taking up half the page?

Watch out for Bonzi Buddy!!!! Your son is going to use that little purple fag is going to hack people's computers!!!!!!!!