chipremington
03-15-2006, 01:19 PM
All around the world, nations seem to think that America is waiting, catlike and ready to pounce on their first sign of weakness. This is silly! In several cases this is simply not true! Countries, if you’re worried that Americas is about to attack you, take this simple test!
1. ARE YOU PLANNING TO NUKE AMERICA:
A) As soon as possible?
B) Only if America nukes first, and only as a last resort?
2. DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?
A) What?
B) Yes!
3. DO YOU KEEP CALLING AMERICA AND THEN GIGGLING AND HANGING UP?
A) Noooooo! (Giggle)
B) No.
4. ARE YOU HARBOURING SINISTER TERRORIST AGENTS ON PURPOSE?
A) Yes, sorry about that.
B) Nope!
5. WHAT’S THAT IN YOUR POCKET?
A) It’s a weapons of mass destruction.
B) It’s my keys.
6. DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF OIL?
A) Yes, Why?
B) No.
7. DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER GOOD STUFF?
A) Yes… Why?
B) No.
8. ARE YOU SURE?
A) Well, I suppose we have some bits and pieces, but nothing particularly -
B) Yes, I‘m sure.
9. WHICH MOVIE WOULD YOU RATHER WATCH?
A) Fahrenheit 9/11
B) The Passion Of The Christ
10. ARE YOU AN EVIL DICTATOR?
A) No. Well, yes.
B) No.
11. HAVE YOU BEEN DISSING AMERICA ON THE INTERNET?
A) Yes.
B) No, my momma taught me better than that.
12. HAVE YOU EVER HAD AN ARGUMENT WITH ANY MEMBER OF THE BUSH FAMILY, HOWEVER TRIVIAL IT MAY HAVE SEEMED?
A) Yes.
B) No.
13. DID YOU TELL PORTUGAL THAT YOUR DAD COULD BEAT AMERICA'S DAD IN A FIGHT?
A) We did, because he could, because he's got two black belts in karate!
B) No, Portugal made it up!
MOSTLY As - DEFINITE WAR! Try to go limp.
ANY As - PROBABLE WAR! America will be with you just as soon as a gap opens up in the schedule
ALL Bs- NO WAR! Yet.
from
www.chipremington.com - Delivering expert film criticism to almost 6 satisfied readers a month
1. ARE YOU PLANNING TO NUKE AMERICA:
A) As soon as possible?
B) Only if America nukes first, and only as a last resort?
2. DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?
A) What?
B) Yes!
3. DO YOU KEEP CALLING AMERICA AND THEN GIGGLING AND HANGING UP?
A) Noooooo! (Giggle)
B) No.
4. ARE YOU HARBOURING SINISTER TERRORIST AGENTS ON PURPOSE?
A) Yes, sorry about that.
B) Nope!
5. WHAT’S THAT IN YOUR POCKET?
A) It’s a weapons of mass destruction.
B) It’s my keys.
6. DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF OIL?
A) Yes, Why?
B) No.
7. DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER GOOD STUFF?
A) Yes… Why?
B) No.
8. ARE YOU SURE?
A) Well, I suppose we have some bits and pieces, but nothing particularly -
B) Yes, I‘m sure.
9. WHICH MOVIE WOULD YOU RATHER WATCH?
A) Fahrenheit 9/11
B) The Passion Of The Christ
10. ARE YOU AN EVIL DICTATOR?
A) No. Well, yes.
B) No.
11. HAVE YOU BEEN DISSING AMERICA ON THE INTERNET?
A) Yes.
B) No, my momma taught me better than that.
12. HAVE YOU EVER HAD AN ARGUMENT WITH ANY MEMBER OF THE BUSH FAMILY, HOWEVER TRIVIAL IT MAY HAVE SEEMED?
A) Yes.
B) No.
13. DID YOU TELL PORTUGAL THAT YOUR DAD COULD BEAT AMERICA'S DAD IN A FIGHT?
A) We did, because he could, because he's got two black belts in karate!
B) No, Portugal made it up!
MOSTLY As - DEFINITE WAR! Try to go limp.
ANY As - PROBABLE WAR! America will be with you just as soon as a gap opens up in the schedule
ALL Bs- NO WAR! Yet.
from
www.chipremington.com - Delivering expert film criticism to almost 6 satisfied readers a month