humorcrazy
03-19-2006, 05:07 PM
Imagine desktops where like this..LoL ..would be insane .. :)
Enjoy!.. **Add a computer joke to the list!**
a day in the life at the etch-a-sketch help desk...
Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Don't shake it.
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Windows XP Error Messages:
-A few of the new error messages that were taken under consideration during the development of the Windows XP operating system...
• Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
• Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
• BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
• Close your eyes and press escape three times.
• File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
• Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
• Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
• Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
• Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
• Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Legendary GM response to Bill Gates:
At COMDEX Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr. Welch himself):
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
• For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
• Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
• Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
• Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
• Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but it would only run on five percent of the roads.
• The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
• New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
• The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
• Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lift the door handle, turn the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
• GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
• Everytime GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as in the old car.
• You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.
Enjoy!.. **Add a computer joke to the list!**
a day in the life at the etch-a-sketch help desk...
Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Don't shake it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Windows XP Error Messages:
-A few of the new error messages that were taken under consideration during the development of the Windows XP operating system...
• Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
• Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
• BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
• Close your eyes and press escape three times.
• File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
• Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
• Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
• Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
• Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
• Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Legendary GM response to Bill Gates:
At COMDEX Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr. Welch himself):
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
• For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
• Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
• Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
• Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
• Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but it would only run on five percent of the roads.
• The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
• New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
• The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
• Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lift the door handle, turn the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
• GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
• Everytime GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as in the old car.
• You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.