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View Full Version : The Art of Cyber War


Kadako
04-10-2006, 06:51 AM
Sun Tzu and Machiavelli had some pretty good advice on how to stomp every RTS game you may ever play into one star challenge oblivion with their books, but recently I've been inspired to write something of my own in regard to their idea.

Most recently YTMND (boo, hiss) and eBaums world (who?) got into a heated electronic scuffle over who could get more creative with their criticism of each other. This war of cyber wits was very interesting, in that either side we're from their own opposite extreme as far as how they would react socially to the incident.

I'll break down YTMND first. Trust me, there's more to them than a bunch of socially starved birth control spokesmen. Not much though.

On their end, an avid fan of YTMND realized that eBaumsworld.com had posted YTMND official intellectual (?) property on the eBaumsworld website. Choosing not too cut and past lindsey lohans head to a picture of his mother showering, that fan immediately delivered the news to his gathering of like minded morons. Having never been so insulted in all their lives, stock in mountain dew plumetted as they were too busy spending valuable hours of their lives opting to purchase pride in crashing the eBaumsworld forum. Having accomplished that, they left a trail of death threats, and had achieved dot com induced euphoric confidence in themselves. Apparently the over anxious minds that chose to threaten lives from the security of their parents basement didn't realize that Eric Bauman was rich, and we all know what happens when you threaten a rich person.

On the eBaums side of the extreme, we have Eric Bauman the creator of eBaumsworld, and that's about all he ever amounted to in this. Then we have his beloved dad, Neil Bauman. If there was ever a human being who could send white people back a thousand years socially, it's this guy. Having heard the erroneous threats of a bunch of dorks who would piss themselves if you handed them a chainsaw with no teeth, Neil Bauman decided to take them seriously enough to get the cyber terrorism squad after them. Indeed, we're paying taxes that support a squad that stops the brain farts of a bunch of twelve year olds because Neil Bauman wants to show them why you never mess with Neil Bauman. Neil, if you're reading this; insults to a child with no ability to comprehend your right to an arguement, is like a solution for social security that would have to be proposed to congress while it has a republican majority. Either way, you'll get an idiotic arguement back. Crashing the forums was going a little too far, insulting the founder of YTMND in response to it when he had nothing to do with that is going a little farther.

In conclusion.

One side is the white collar over zealous patriarchal leach who instead of getting serious sank to the level of bickering that only the security of it just being words on a screen could provide, Neil Bauman. I type all of that knowing that I basically apply to most of it, you know I love you Neil.

The other side is the bottom feeding mongrels who are either very lonely men, or women who men have to be the epitome of lonely to want to touch with a ten foot pole. Part of a collective of dreamers who found their niche in this world by posting pun related pictures on a website, and forgot that long enough to care about another website making money off of content that was obtained by them legally. Symbolically, I'd have to thank the whiney 16 year old who Gamespot gives trouble when he tries to purchase "the guy game" for giving me a frame of reference on the proud to be forum crashers that started the mess.

As I see them occur, I'll probably be ammending s'more chapters of cyber warfare strategies in here.

DreadPirateWes
04-10-2006, 07:35 AM
What on earth are you babbling about?

PS join a real branch of the military. I'm here at Dragon Hill on vacation. Stop by and we'll discuss you leaving that pansy air farce and doing something real.
PPS Isn't Osan on the chopping block? Most of Korea is. I think they're moving to Iwakuni. Looks like you'll have to find another way to swallow some of that dim sum cock.

Kadako
04-10-2006, 10:33 AM
What on earth are you babbling about?

PS join a real branch of the military. I'm here at Dragon Hill on vacation. Stop by and we'll discuss you leaving that pansy air farce and doing something real.
PPS Isn't Osan on the chopping block? Most of Korea is. I think they're moving to Iwakuni. Looks like you'll have to find another way to swallow some of that dim sum cock.

Let it be known that the views and opinions expressed by dreadpiratewes are not those of dreadpiratewes, but rather those of over-bearing jackasses who have had such a major infuence on his existence that logic dares declare it a non-existence in retrospect. eBaumsworld apologizes to the human race for his ability to express himself on their website.

What the hell I'm talking about is obviously a little over your head, so attempting to cope with having the comprehensive abilities of anyone who voted in the 2004 presidential election by mocking me is a bit absurd. Now if you took my points, and through creative suggestion used them to prove that I'm as much of a hypocrite as I already claim to be, I'd be a little more respectful.

Going to the dragon hill to discuss leaving a branch of the military that would never let a dumbass like you past E-4 is not something I'd like to do. In light of you recommending this, you really should change your name too "buttpiratewes".

EvaMonkey
04-10-2006, 10:53 AM
Kadako, I've never heard Sun Tzu, Machiavelli or "The Art of War" used to discribe an internet fight... I'm pretty bloody impressed.

You've sum'ed up pretty much what happened over the last couple of months in the most intelectual way possible... I salute you.

Just got a question and a suggestion tho.

The question is "Why did you put (who?) after ebaums world in the second paragraph", I'm just curious really.

And the suggestion is that you might have better luck getting responces to this kind of thread in "Everything/Nothing" rather then comments... I wont lie, you might be ripped apart with vile tounges there, but you'll have more replys.

mgunit
04-10-2006, 10:55 AM
Pretty funny, especially the part where you said I have a huge wang.

roccenstein
04-10-2006, 11:51 AM
Pretty funny, especially the part where you said I have a huge wang.
I must have missed that part...

refoops
04-10-2006, 11:57 AM
The right to express ones opinion at it's finest.

Good work, To whomever you are.

Remission
04-10-2006, 01:51 PM
Pretty funny, especially the part where you said I have a huge wang.

I'm really surprised that you're a moderator :P

EvaMonkey
04-10-2006, 01:53 PM
I'm really surprised that you're a moderator :P

Want even more of a shock?

He's head mod.

rand0m
04-10-2006, 02:04 PM
On the eBaums side of the extreme, we have Eric Bauman the creator of eBaumsworld, and that's about all he ever amounted to in this. Then we have his beloved dad, Neil Bauman. If there was ever a human being who could send white people back a thousand years socially, it's this guy. Having heard the erroneous threats of a bunch of dorks who would piss themselves if you handed them a chainsaw with no teeth, Neil Bauman decided to take them seriously enough to get the cyber terrorism squad after them. Indeed, we're paying taxes that support a squad that stops the brain farts of a bunch of twelve year olds because Neil Bauman wants to show them why you never mess with Neil Bauman. Neil, if you're reading this; insults to a child with no ability to comprehend your right to an arguement, is like a solution for social security that would have to be proposed to congress while it has a republican majority. Either way, you'll get an idiotic arguement back. Crashing the forums was going a little too far, insulting the founder of YTMND in response to it when he had nothing to do with that is going a little farther.

do you realise YTMND people actually went round the Ebaumsworld Office and vandalised it, that is why they went to the cyber terrorism squad. Thats a bit more than just insulting them isnt it ...

Remission
04-10-2006, 02:43 PM
Want even more of a shock?

He's head mod.

OMG, that's just scary! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppp! *runs around wildly* =)

Akvod
04-10-2006, 08:50 PM
Sun Tzu and Machiavelli had some pretty good advice on how to stomp every RTS game you may ever play into one star challenge oblivion with their books, but recently I've been inspired to write something of my own in regard to their idea.

Most recently YTMND (boo, hiss) and eBaums world (who?) got into a heated electronic scuffle over who could get more creative with their criticism of each other. This war of cyber wits was very interesting, in that either side we're from their own opposite extreme as far as how they would react socially to the incident.

I'll break down YTMND first. Trust me, there's more to them than a bunch of socially starved birth control spokesmen. Not much though.

On their end, an avid fan of YTMND realized that eBaumsworld.com had posted YTMND official intellectual (?) property on the eBaumsworld website. Choosing not too cut and past lindsey lohans head to a picture of his mother showering, that fan immediately delivered the news to his gathering of like minded morons. Having never been so insulted in all their lives, stock in mountain dew plumetted as they were too busy spending valuable hours of their lives opting to purchase pride in crashing the eBaumsworld forum. Having accomplished that, they left a trail of death threats, and had achieved dot com induced euphoric confidence in themselves. Apparently the over anxious minds that chose to threaten lives from the security of their parents basement didn't realize that Eric Bauman was rich, and we all know what happens when you threaten a rich person.

On the eBaums side of the extreme, we have Eric Bauman the creator of eBaumsworld, and that's about all he ever amounted to in this. Then we have his beloved dad, Neil Bauman. If there was ever a human being who could send white people back a thousand years socially, it's this guy. Having heard the erroneous threats of a bunch of dorks who would piss themselves if you handed them a chainsaw with no teeth, Neil Bauman decided to take them seriously enough to get the cyber terrorism squad after them. Indeed, we're paying taxes that support a squad that stops the brain farts of a bunch of twelve year olds because Neil Bauman wants to show them why you never mess with Neil Bauman. Neil, if you're reading this; insults to a child with no ability to comprehend your right to an arguement, is like a solution for social security that would have to be proposed to congress while it has a republican majority. Either way, you'll get an idiotic arguement back. Crashing the forums was going a little too far, insulting the founder of YTMND in response to it when he had nothing to do with that is going a little farther.

In conclusion.

One side is the white collar over zealous patriarchal leach who instead of getting serious sank to the level of bickering that only the security of it just being words on a screen could provide, Neil Bauman. I type all of that knowing that I basically apply to most of it, you know I love you Neil.

The other side is the bottom feeding mongrels who are either very lonely men, or women who men have to be the epitome of lonely to want to touch with a ten foot pole. Part of a collective of dreamers who found their niche in this world by posting pun related pictures on a website, and forgot that long enough to care about another website making money off of content that was obtained by them legally. Symbolically, I'd have to thank the whiney 16 year old who Gamespot gives trouble when he tries to purchase "the guy game" for giving me a frame of reference on the proud to be forum crashers that started the mess.

As I see them occur, I'll probably be ammending s'more chapters of cyber warfare strategies in here.

English has to be one of the hardest languages to understand. Read the paragraph below and try to understand the meaning.

Two individuals proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic
protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining severe damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical
structure; Subsequently the second member of the team performed a self
rotational translation oriented in the same direction taken by the first team member.

In plain English what does this translate to?

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after!

-----------------------------------------------

Anyway using big words may make you look smart but it dosen't make you smart.

Make your sentances short, but sweet. Don't just point out something, give us a sollution or tells us what you want us to do. We can all give facts and opinions, but without a solution, meh.

goatkeeper
04-12-2006, 01:37 AM
hahahaa *claps for akvod*