Nauglamir
07-14-2006, 09:58 PM
I posted this in the nothing/everything, but it seems more appropriate here. It's this long ass poem, but's got good meter (Although I purposly break it on like line 15). Hope you get a kick outta it ;)
The Reunion Speech, by Nauglamir
Foremost, friends and neighbors here, happy aunt and uncle dear,
brother, cousin, Peter too, every single one of you
Be at ease, if you please, sit if you have creaking knees.
Appetite? eat a snack, over there, purple rack.
Need a drink? in the sink. Sorry that the water stinks.
Anyway my happy group, don't forget that there is soup!
Chicken wing and beaver too, all with plenty you can chew,
and I thought... maybe not. guess we haven't got alot.
anyway. Allie, hey! Thought you weren't here today!
That is great. Losing weight? I can tell. Got a date?
Really, yeah? that's allright, maybe us another night?
No, k, im not mad. actually I'm kinda glad.
see, you're getting kinda fat, and your face is like a rat.
What was that? What you say? You're a little far away.
What the fuck? I'm not gay! Get your fat ass back to the buffet!!
Anyway, calming down, need to sell that wedding gown...
Hey! Guys! Big surpise! Think we got some apple pies!
Everyone look over there! You can play some solitaire.
Hungry still? We have peas, mashed potatoes and some cheese,
also we have slot machines, you can even eat some beans,
buy some jeans, eat some greens, enroll into the marines!
We have more, let me tell, even got our own hotel,
water park and roller coaster, 'lectromatic super-toaster,
coin-based simulation games, sorry, I forget the names,
shooting range, stock exchange, things that even I think strange,
Night a bore? Seeking more? Back in there we got a whore.
Oh, my! Outta breath! Out the back we got some meth!
Got some dope, got some pot, got some shit that I forgot,
think some ex, think some speed, more than you could ever need,
think some krak, lsd, rainbow drops and pcp!
Anyway, there is more! think we got a dinosaur!
Harry Potter's tied out back, did you know that nigger's black?
On the floor, see that hatch? Down through there's a wrestling match!
Actually there's more than one, look the first has just begun!
Ghandi versus Ghenghis Khan, broken up by Elton John.
Jesus punches tarzan's face, tarzan spraying eyes with mace,
and as jesus runs-a-hiden, tarzan up and rapes poseidon.
Buddah farts in Hitler's ear, Stephen Harper, Britney Spear.
Back on top the folks are dancin, look old uncle Jerry prancin!
Hah, that old and crazy fool! I put gas inside his gruel.
OMG, WTF! Allie, You are outta luck!
(Here I shot a hockey puck, and no, she hadn't time to duck)
Hah, I see it broke your face, lol you fat disgrace.
Anyways, getting tired, oh but lo! I am inspired.
For just now I have acquired everything that I desired
For all that has just transpired has my spirit now rewired.
Holy shit, this is long, lol, there's king kong
he just ate the eiffel tower but was shot by austin power
who was punched straight to Japan by one and only Spider Man!
Anyway, getting late, it is time I procreate
where the hell is little Kate? Even though she's only 8,
she tonight shall be my mate, hurry, bitch! To my estate!
The Reunion Speech, by Nauglamir
Foremost, friends and neighbors here, happy aunt and uncle dear,
brother, cousin, Peter too, every single one of you
Be at ease, if you please, sit if you have creaking knees.
Appetite? eat a snack, over there, purple rack.
Need a drink? in the sink. Sorry that the water stinks.
Anyway my happy group, don't forget that there is soup!
Chicken wing and beaver too, all with plenty you can chew,
and I thought... maybe not. guess we haven't got alot.
anyway. Allie, hey! Thought you weren't here today!
That is great. Losing weight? I can tell. Got a date?
Really, yeah? that's allright, maybe us another night?
No, k, im not mad. actually I'm kinda glad.
see, you're getting kinda fat, and your face is like a rat.
What was that? What you say? You're a little far away.
What the fuck? I'm not gay! Get your fat ass back to the buffet!!
Anyway, calming down, need to sell that wedding gown...
Hey! Guys! Big surpise! Think we got some apple pies!
Everyone look over there! You can play some solitaire.
Hungry still? We have peas, mashed potatoes and some cheese,
also we have slot machines, you can even eat some beans,
buy some jeans, eat some greens, enroll into the marines!
We have more, let me tell, even got our own hotel,
water park and roller coaster, 'lectromatic super-toaster,
coin-based simulation games, sorry, I forget the names,
shooting range, stock exchange, things that even I think strange,
Night a bore? Seeking more? Back in there we got a whore.
Oh, my! Outta breath! Out the back we got some meth!
Got some dope, got some pot, got some shit that I forgot,
think some ex, think some speed, more than you could ever need,
think some krak, lsd, rainbow drops and pcp!
Anyway, there is more! think we got a dinosaur!
Harry Potter's tied out back, did you know that nigger's black?
On the floor, see that hatch? Down through there's a wrestling match!
Actually there's more than one, look the first has just begun!
Ghandi versus Ghenghis Khan, broken up by Elton John.
Jesus punches tarzan's face, tarzan spraying eyes with mace,
and as jesus runs-a-hiden, tarzan up and rapes poseidon.
Buddah farts in Hitler's ear, Stephen Harper, Britney Spear.
Back on top the folks are dancin, look old uncle Jerry prancin!
Hah, that old and crazy fool! I put gas inside his gruel.
OMG, WTF! Allie, You are outta luck!
(Here I shot a hockey puck, and no, she hadn't time to duck)
Hah, I see it broke your face, lol you fat disgrace.
Anyways, getting tired, oh but lo! I am inspired.
For just now I have acquired everything that I desired
For all that has just transpired has my spirit now rewired.
Holy shit, this is long, lol, there's king kong
he just ate the eiffel tower but was shot by austin power
who was punched straight to Japan by one and only Spider Man!
Anyway, getting late, it is time I procreate
where the hell is little Kate? Even though she's only 8,
she tonight shall be my mate, hurry, bitch! To my estate!