"Unanswered Questions" Answered

[RumpledAcademic]

In the Text section, there is a file containing what the author calls "unanswered questions that can never be answered." However, I am finding that I can.
One of these questions is "If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?"
Am I being pedantic saying that Black Boxes are made of titanium and the majority of an Airplane's body is made of an aluminium alloy; and if the plane was made out of titanium, while, yes, making it virtually indestructible, it would NEVER be able to get off the ground. Kind of defeating the purpose of an Airplane, isn't it? Titanium has an incredibly large density, over 15g/cubic centimetre (I can't remember exactly) while aluminum has a density of less than 2g/cubic centimetre. It struck me while reading this that the author is making fun of the scientists who designed the Black Box, when they had a perfectly sound reason for not following this guy's suggestions. He is jeering at people who know a great deal more about the subject than him. I'm sorry, that last bit is sounding far too "complainy," and I really don't want to be. Anyway, onto the next.

Most of the lines on this page and funny, but one is slipped in there which is a constantly-used Fundamentalist argument which, if not corrected, may give many people the wrong impression and think that Evolutionists have "scored" on over evolutionists. The "unanswered question" is, of course,If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?" This is a rather foolish idea that creationists like to use to discredit the theory of evolution. They say "Evolution teaches us that our great-great-great-grandparents were monkeys. How ridiculous. Ho ho ho". We are not descendants of apes - we are apes. If alien collectors came to Earth and beamed up a bunch of animals, they would put humans in the same collections as chimps and gorillas. In terms of taxonomy, we are just a strange type of big-brained, bald ape. Gorillas, chimps, orang-utans and humans are all part of the same section of the evolutionary hierarchy, just on different branches. We are not "higher" than gorillas; we have not evolved from them, but ALONGSIDE them. We share a common ape-like ancestor with them (in the same way that we share a common ancestor with all primates, and then all mammals, and then all verterbrates and so on). That is the difference. Evolution is not a ladder - it's an enormous bush with millions of branches. We humans (and the chimps, gorillas and other apes) are just the current crop of leaves on part of the vertebrate/mammal/primate branch. As long as life exists on this planet, the bush will keep on spreading, and humans will be just one more branching-point with several new twigs growing from it. Humans evolved from a being we would prop an "Ape" sign in front of in a zoo, but our counterparts in other areas had no need to. Their bodies and abilities suited them just dandy; there was no need to change. In the gradual evolution of humans; there was.

I don't mean to attack eBaum's site in any way; I love this site! But I just feel that the utterly stupid Airplane question and more importantly the Fundamentalist attack on Evolutionism had to be put right. Thank you.

[tourettes]

the black box thing was a joke. comedians have used that line for years. the majority of people who see the joke know that the black box application is unpractical, so if you think you are a genius or something your wrong. stop looking to far into one-sentance jokes.
p.s.-if your so damn smart, how come you created this thread twice? did you mean to double the exposure of your superior intellect? was that your intent? or were you so eager to share your brilliant revelation that you clicked on "submit" over and over again?

[RumpledAcademic]

Hey man, ease up! I'm not trying to say I'm a genius or anything. Hell, I know that I'm not. It was more the evolution thing that was bugging more than the plane thing, I just wanted to set that straight. As for the two posts, well, I'm not an internet whiz, and I had more than one window open doing other stuff as well; it was an accident. I know that the Black Box line has been used by comedians over the years, but in my experience, whenever a comedian re-hashes it the audience laughs and laughs about how dumb those scientists are ("couldn't think their way out of a paper bag") and don't think any more about, which is fair enough.

I'm sorry if I sounded like an intellectual dickhead; it really wasn't my intention.

[tourettes]

sorry. i was pissed off that day and decided to argue with the first guy i could find. now that i look again, there is nothing wrong with your first post. i just was in the state of mind that made me think like "huh, i already knew that. this guy thinks he's hot shit." instead of my usual "yup, i know what your saying." glad your not pissed.

[brazucs87]

dude, u freakin' killed the jokes... you've got no sense of humor... at all.

[Madness]

You didn't unanswer all of the questions. That's only two out of 19.

[SexyLlama]

You didn't unanswer all of the questions. That's only two out of 19.

ok, ill answer some then.

3. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
No, thats just stupid

4. Is there another word for synonym?
No

8. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Maybe for about a second before it gets steped on, but no one really cares about a stupid wingless fly

10. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain
silent?
Yes, they do.

14. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Unsliced Bread

15. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
No, thats stupid too. They would probably help the one drowning.

17. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Succeeded at Failing

There ya go, a few "unanswerable questions" answered by my genius self.

[RumpledAcademic]

No problem Tourettes, and thanks for restoring my faith in the internet. 'Cause after I saw your post, I kind of made a decision that people act and say stuff over the internet they wouldn't normally say i.e. it brings out the worst in all of us. I made a decision to only look, never post on forums with a new topic again, but I've given that up now: thanks for apologising man, I appreciate it.

I would like to thank the eBaum team for answering all the questions, and concede it was silly of me to put in the Airplane one (which is what is seeming to irritate people) when all I really cared about was the evolution one.

For all other independent observers: no, I am not a professor, nor do I think I am. Adios!

[tourettes]

No problem Tourettes, and thanks for restoring my faith in the internet. 'Cause after I saw your post, I kind of made a decision that people act and say stuff over the internet they wouldn't normally say i.e. it brings out the worst in all of us.
well, it seems to me that some people do use the internet to vent and flame random people from a safe distance, but i have no intent of being one of them.

[chriscolton.com]

Here are some more of the answers to the unanswered questions.


1. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
Duh. They still have their taste.

2. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going
as ghosts but as mattresses?
Ghosts? I always thought they were mattresses.

9. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will
clean them?
No. They're afraid their customers will get raped in them.

11. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
Because some people only have vision in one eye.

13. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Deer are attracted to the color yellow.

16. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
So you know when it gets sour.

[tourettes]

16. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
So you know when it gets sour.
not really..just because it's supposed to be sour doesn't mean it never goes bad...

[DIsbe]

Here are some more of the answers to the unanswered questions.


1. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
Duh. They still have their taste.

2. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going
as ghosts but as mattresses?
Ghosts? I always thought they were mattresses.

9. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will
clean them?
No. They're afraid their customers will get raped in them.

11. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
Because some people only have vision in one eye.

13. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Deer are attracted to the color yellow.

16. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
So you know when it gets sour.

The whole point of this thread is to get actual answers that make sense to these questions. So you first answer is wrong and not even funny as is your second one. Your number 9 is correct in my opinion. Your number 11 is wrong, with one eye you can still read fine, you just loose depth perception and a percentage of your field of view on the corresponding side. Braile is required to be on every ATM due to the 1990 Americans with Disabilities Act whether its in the drive through or not. And for those who will say "a blind person cant drive to go to a drive through atm", what if they are in the back seat riding with someone and need cash? As to number 13, deer are not attracted to yellow, in fact they are pretty color blind, the sign is just there to state there may be deer crossing the road in that general area. And an experation date is on sour cream because even sour cream can go bad, and gets moldy and rotten.

[DIsbe]

1. How do blind people know when they are done wiping? I would assume they smell the paper. Maybe someone that knows a blind person can ask them and let us know.

5. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" Not really, because they are basically doing just that, no one ever gets perfect at anything, so they are in a sense practicing. Besides, would you rather them say, "Hey, its my job, or Its what i do"?

7. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? Yes

19. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"? Because the word hemorrhoid literally means swollen blood vessle (sp). And asteroids are rocks in outer space and an old video game.

[SexyLlama]

Lighten up noob. And by not replying at all to my previous post I am just going to take it for granted that all my answers are correct.

[emericanlegend]

1. How do blind people know when they are done wiping? I would assume they smell the paper. Maybe someone that knows a blind person can ask them and let us know.

No, I think they swipe their finger on the paper and taste it each time until they don't taste anything. Also, its not paper, it's tissue.

[Snapper_Jack]

1) They probably go overboard on wiping until they feel satisfied.

2) Mattresses are square, and have no eyes.

3) She would probably find an alternate punishment.

4) Not in the English language.

5) No, that's just the term they use.

6) It's too heavy and expensive.

7) Yes.

8) No. The fact that it had missing wings doesn't change the species.

9) Poeple can get raped/killed in there.

10) Yes, if they didn't they would be suspended or fired.

11) It's illegal not to.

12) Because apes aren't extinct yet.

13) They don't, the deer aren't there because of the sign, but vice versa.

14) The knife. (To slice the bread.)

15) No, they help him.

16) The same reason there's an expiration date on everything else: it expires.

17) This results in a circular reasoning pattern. Scientifically, the answer to this would simply be "Undefined."

18) The word probably didn't have one at first, or was a slang term, (meaning, not a real word). It may have been added later on as the English language grew and changed.

19) Hemerrhoid means swollen blood vessel. Ass means fool, donkey, mule, buttocks, or internal anus.


Feel free to correct and criticize.

[JohnnyD]

I think there's a time where you've whiped yourself so much, that is burns your rectum if you wipe any more. No more moisture.

[tr1gg3r h4ppy]

QUOTE-13) They don't, the deer aren't there because of the sign, but vice versa.



they put the signs on main deer trails that cross the road so noone can hit one.

im a hunter ...trust me ;)

12) Because apes aren't extinct yet.<how does that come into fact that their r still apes around.it might be that their just a different species of ape and we come to another species of ape??but its really a unanswered qwestion because people dont no :confused: