9/11 jokes

[LOLTWINTOWERS]

there has never been 9/11 jokes so i thought i will get the party started
:D


Did you hear the one about American Airlines new deal? They’ll fly you straight from the airport to the office.

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Knock knock!!
Knock knock who?
Knock knock knocked all your towers down!


What is the New York City Fire Department's favorite song?
"It's Raining Men"


What's Al Qaida's favorite football team?
The New York Jets

What does WTC stand for?
What Trade Centre?

What's 9 divided by 11 divided by 01?
A good investment in real estate. (A temporary dip in the price of downtown real estate, followed by an almost 100% increase over the next five years.)

What was the last thing going through Mr. Jones' head when he was working on the World Trade Center's 90th floor?
The 91st floor.

What's the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.

How many Americans died in 9/11?
Who gives a fuk?

What's the biggest difference between 9/11 and the Oklahoma City Bombing?
Foreigners once again prove they can do it better and more efficiently.

When does a pentagon have four sides?
When it intersects a plane.

Have you heard about the decision about the memorial at the WTC site?
The city decided to go with an open park and the worlds largest franchise of the "International House of Pancakes!"

How many New Yorkers does it take to change a light bulb?
Nobody knows since they keep jumping out the window when it gets too hot!

How long does it take to reach the ground from 107 stories up?
The rest of your life!

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes!

Well, 9/11 sure proves one thing... New Yorkers can really come together in a crunch!

[h2o polo player]

wow man those were really funny, did u come up with those on ur own? man iv never laughed so hard in my life. /sarcasm
wtf is wron with u u fucking communist bastard. go back to ur little shit hole of a country in the middle east and go suicide bomb something. y would u join a forum to make incredibly stupid jokes about something that serious. y cant we send ppl like u to war who obviously have no respect for anything. i hope u die a slow an painful death u ass rapping communist son of a bitch.
/rant

[Mattjam]

I kind of agreed with what he^ said, but I did laugh out loud at some of them. Overall I liked them, and they're just jokes...

[rsnyper]

well it did make me laugh a little bit, yet it was so wrong

[Osama Bin Laden]

i wish the planes hit you instead

[strikeandburn]

Not Cool...
The Cool Bean is far away from you my friend...
Far Away..

[Victor Franko]

So this is what EBW Forums has become eh?

Go ingest some fucking rat poison you piece of shit.

[Master. kirby]

its gona be a bit longer till you can make fun of 911.
a lot longer, so fuck off you bitch, i didn't even smirk at any of those abominations of humor.

[ChadR6783]

LaWl Th0S j0kez W3rE t3h FuNnY!!1

[LBJ23]

I kind of agreed with what he^ said, but I did laugh out loud at some of them. Overall I liked them, and they're just jokes...

The thing is though, is name is LOLTWINTOWERS. That's really low. You can obviously tell that he hates America, espescially looking at his sig. He's laughing at the fact that people died. I don't think people dying is ever a funny issue. I know this is the jokes section, but this guy totally crossed the line

[weister42]

Yeah what a way to piss everyone off, nice going douche.(someone trace where this idiot is from)

Yeah some of the jokes are funny but it's sstill way to sensitive to most people, it's like making fun of the Japanese a few years after they got nuked...and still the only country who got nuked.

[xyzman123]

Me: knock knock.

U: who's there?

Me: 9/11

U: 9/11 who?

Me: you said you'd never forget....

[MooCowzRock]

Me: knock knock.

U: who's there?

Me: 9/11

U: 9/11 who?

Me: you said you'd never forget....

lol....I have to admit, this one was actually funny....

[Perl_5]

there has never been 9/11 jokes so i thought i will get the party started
:D


Did you hear the one about American Airlines new deal? They’ll fly you straight from the airport to the office.

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Knock knock!!
Knock knock who?
Knock knock knocked all your towers down!


What is the New York City Fire Department's favorite song?
"It's Raining Men"


What's Al Qaida's favorite football team?
The New York Jets

What does WTC stand for?
What Trade Centre?

What's 9 divided by 11 divided by 01?
A good investment in real estate. (A temporary dip in the price of downtown real estate, followed by an almost 100% increase over the next five years.)

What was the last thing going through Mr. Jones' head when he was working on the World Trade Center's 90th floor?
The 91st floor.

What's the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.

How many Americans died in 9/11?
Who gives a fuk?

What's the biggest difference between 9/11 and the Oklahoma City Bombing?
Foreigners once again prove they can do it better and more efficiently.

When does a pentagon have four sides?
When it intersects a plane.

Have you heard about the decision about the memorial at the WTC site?
The city decided to go with an open park and the worlds largest franchise of the "International House of Pancakes!"

How many New Yorkers does it take to change a light bulb?
Nobody knows since they keep jumping out the window when it gets too hot!

How long does it take to reach the ground from 107 stories up?
The rest of your life!

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes!

Well, 9/11 sure proves one thing... New Yorkers can really come together in a crunch!
wow you're a moron... good thinking of what your first post will be too... come to my house and say that i'll rip your balls off

ban this fucker and trace his ip

[TheWhiteRecluse]

Why did Steve Irwin's wife sue the sunblock company?

Because the back of the sunblock said it would "protect from harmful rays"!

what? to soon?

[Ultima]

Why did Steve Irwin's wife sue the sunblock company?

Because the back of the sunblock said it would "protect from harmful rays"!

what? to soon?

No, just really crappy and over-used.

[Mattjam]

i wish the planes hit you instead

That's really ironic coming from someone with your username.:lmao: I oughta quote that.

[DarkTalon]

wow man those were really funny, did u come up with those on ur own? man iv never laughed so hard in my life. /sarcasm
wtf is wron with u u fucking communist bastard. go back to ur little shit hole of a country in the middle east and go suicide bomb something. y would u join a forum to make incredibly stupid jokes about something that serious. y cant we send ppl like u to war who obviously have no respect for anything. i hope u die a slow an painful death u ass rapping communist son of a bitch.
/rant

calm down man they're just jokes
get that sand out of your vagina

[Perl_5]

That's really ironic coming from someone with your username.:lmao: I oughta quote that.

lol i was thinking the same thing!

[puppetmasterjjk]

i wish they fucked up your people instead, then it would be fucking hilarious. you peice of shit

[D-roc]

I thought they were hilarious. 6 years have passed loosen the fuck up

[mtspace]

there has never been 9/11 jokes so i thought i will get the party started
:D

Sorry man I'm just not feeling it.
I could see where they are meant to be funny
but they just left me a bit cold.
Thanks for bringing me down.:mad:

[elvis]

if we can make jokes about the holocaust in which more than 6 million people died, then we can make jokes about 9/11 seeing as it happened 5 years ago.

2500/5= 500 deaths a year
6,000,000 /66(estimated date) 90909 deaths a year. im not saying theres a numeric relation between how many people died to how long it should take for jokes to be acceptable, but really, its been 5 years... get over it.

[mtspace]

if we can make jokes about the holocaust in which more than 6 million people died, then we can make jokes about 9/11 seeing as it happened 5 years ago.

2500/5= 500 deaths a year
6,000,000 /66(estimated date) 90909 deaths a year. im not saying theres a numeric relation between how many people died to how long it should take for jokes to be acceptable, but really, its been 5 years... get over it.


I doubt there were that many Jewish people laughing at
jokes about "showers" and "oven's" after only six years.

[elvis]

I doubt there were that many Jewish people laughing at
jokes about "showers" and "oven's" after only six years.

its been 60+, greater disasters take more time to get over ive got plenty of friends who can take jewish jokes without crying.

[FonsecaWalls]

as long as racist jokes exists, these jokes are OK!

[Squeezymo]

I don't oppose 9/11 jokes entirely. hell, i prefer it if they are targeted for Americans. But those jokes suck. Not because they are offesnsive. They just sucked

[LOLTWINTOWERS]

wow man those were really funny, did u come up with those on ur own? man iv never laughed so hard in my life. /sarcasm
wtf is wron with u u fucking communist bastard. go back to ur little shit hole of a country in the middle east and go suicide bomb something. y would u join a forum to make incredibly stupid jokes about something that serious. y cant we send ppl like u to war who obviously have no respect for anything. i hope u die a slow an painful death u ass rapping communist son of a bitch.
/rant

learn to spell

[LOLTWINTOWERS]

Go ingest some fucking rat poison you piece of shit.


im sorry mommy not breastfeeding you any more but

dont take it out on me.

[Spang.]

im sorry mommy not breastfeeding you any more but

dont take it out on me.

What the fuck are you talking about? Don't you have to be atleast 13 to join this forum?

america for what you have done in iraq you have opened pandora's box the next generation off muslims will be jihads because you voted bush.

From your sig... you obviously know nothing about current events or history. Come back when you finish your freshmen history class. "the next generation of muslims will be holy wars because you voted bush" Words cannot describe how fucking ignorant you are.

[rsnyper]

america for what you have done in iraq you have opened pandora's box the next generation off muslims will be jihads because you voted bush.


man get a life,and learn to spell

[evil joe]

What did the terrorist say when he broke his foot?

Durk durka!

LOL!!!

...Wait, I got another one.

How many Americans does it take to die in some buildings?

17!

Haha!

Warning: Do not read this post if you are easily offended.

[Junkman]

Those jokes would have been cool with me if they were actually funny. But they weren't.

[Squeezymo]

Those jokes would have been cool with me if they were actually funny. But they weren't.
Exactly
What did the terrorist say when he broke his foot?

Durk durka!

LOL!!!

...Wait, I got another one.

How many Americans does it take to die in some buildings?

17!

Haha!

Warning: Do not read this post if you are easily offended.
OMG that warning in small text at the bottom made me laugh. I love how you put it at the very end

[Perl_5]

some of you guys were talking about how you can joke about holocaust... well...

even those jokes aren't funny. the fact that so many people died relates to what happened on sept. 11, and pearl harbor too. and as i recall osama promising more terrorist attacks, it would be awfully funny if loltwintowers family members happen to die that day.

im off to school!

[Eminem]

The thing is though, is name is LOLTWINTOWERS. That's really low. You can obviously tell that he hates America, espescially looking at his sig. He's laughing at the fact that people died. I don't think people dying is ever a funny issue. I know this is the jokes section, but this guy totally crossed the line

and yet i bet you laugh at hitler jokes...

why did hitler commit suicide? he got his gas bill.



funny eh? i know what he says its fucked up, but thats because it hasnt been enough time. give it 20 years and those jokes will make you chuckle. they are jokes after all. they exagerrate a tragic event to make it seem less real. im not justifying it; im just saying you shouldnt get upset.

[Bigheaded Chief]

i wonder if this guy is a member of Westboro Baptist Church (http://www.godhatesfags.com/)

[poonage_pimp]

I laughed more at everyone getting pissy and emo like woman on the rag..

Calm down maybe?

[evil joe]

i know what he says its fucked up, but thats because it hasnt been enough time. give it 20 years and those jokes will make you chuckle. they are jokes after all. they exagerrate a tragic event to make it seem less real. im not justifying it; im just saying you shouldnt get upset.

He's right. Take the Titanic for instance. It was a terrible thing and many people died by freezing to death. But if someone made a joke about it a lot of people would laugh because most people don't care anymore. Not to mention anyone that had parents on the Titanic or anyone that had friends that were on the Titanic are probably dead by now.

What did the iceburg say when a big ship ran into it?

KRRRRRRRRCH!

Alright, that one isn't funny but you get the point.

[weehooha]

are you f'ing retarded!? the titanic sank in 1912, thats almost 100 years ago.
9/11 occured less than 10 years ago, people still care you dick!
little more than 1,500 died on the titanic. more than 2,500 died in the world trade center. mothers of victims are still crying.

if you dont care about your fellow citizens do us a favor and shoot yourself.

[rsnyper]

are you f'ing retarded!? the titanic sank in 1912, thats almost 100 years ago.
9/11 occured less than 10 years ago, people still care you dick!
little more than 1,500 died on the titanic. more than 2,500 died in the world trade center. mothers of victims are still crying.

if you dont care about your fellow citizens do us a favor and shoot yourself.

THATS WHAT SHE SAID!!!

they are just jokes get over it

[evil joe]

What did weehooha say when the World Trade Center blew up?

Nothing. He couldn't talk with my dick in his mouth.

[kledster]

i haven't laughed at jokes that hard in a long time.

[Henkie]

What did weehooha say when the World Trade Center blew up?

Nothing. He couldn't talk with my dick in his mouth.

I actually laughed at this, even though it such an obvious and stupid joke. Cudos(sp?) for that...

[LOLTWINTOWERS]

How many American Airlines Flight 77 passengers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Apparently, we will never know since they crashed at 400 mph into a five-sided reinforced bunker and were instantaneously vaporized. Burning puddles of human remains aren't very good at replacing lighting fixtures.


What has 10 feet, 6 eyes, 2 arms and 2 wings?

A bag of mistakenly discarded KFC mixed in with various body parts recovered from the Pentagon crash site. People make mistakes like that when they are fighting a hellish blaze of jet fuel with little sleep.

What were the last words of an employee at the World Trade Center?
I need that shipment of box cutters immediately!"

[weehooha]

what did evil joe say when in a conversation on the destruction of the world trade centers?

nothing. steaming piles of shit cant speak to well.

asshole

[rsnyper]

what did weehooha do after sucking evil joes huge penis?

tried to suck his own half inch boner

[LBJ23]

what did weehooha do after sucking evil joes huge penis?

tried to suck his own half inch boner

Dumbass doesnt realize that Evil Joe is a god on the forums

[rsnyper]

weehooha has the half inch boner not joe

[rand0m]

If these 9/11 joke actually contained something remotely funny, this thread would be acceptable. However the jokes fucking suck, and all your doing is pissing on 9/11.

[weehooha]

weehooha has the half inch boner not joe

well I guess we now know wich two people are in the gay relationship now.

nice going fag. next time dont try to protect your gay lover.

[LBJ23]

well I guess we now know wich two people are in the gay relationship now.

nice going fag. next time dont try to protect your gay lover.

Hey you. Yeah you. SHUT UP. Penis head.:preachon:

[BFIGHTER]

Seriously dude.
You either need some serious attention or your trying to get a reaction out of us.

[evil joe]

Yeah. Stop flaming everyone you fag or you'll get this great thread locked.

[Deep Cover]

/sarcasm
wtf is wron with u u fucking communist bastard. go back to ur little shit hole of a country in the middle east and go suicide bomb something. y would u join a forum to make incredibly stupid jokes about something that serious. y cant we send ppl like u to war who obviously have no respect for anything. i hope u die a slow an painful death u ass rapping communist son of a bitch.
/rant


Racism is funny!

[LOLTWINTOWERS]

some more 9/11 jokes

What does WTC stand for?
- What Trade Center?


The FBI has just identified the man who trained the hijackers:
- Dale Earnhardt


They dont need any more volunteers to help at the WTC:
- They have found 5000 extra pairs of hands.

New York, New York, so good they hit it twice

What is world most efficient airline?:
- American Airlines, leave Boston 8:15 and be in your office in New York 8:48!

What was the last thing going through the mind of a stockbroker on the 110th floor?
- The radio mast.

Where do Americans go on vacation?
- All over Manhattan.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?
- New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.

Was 2001 a leap year?
- If you work on the 59th floor of the world trade building it was.

What was the quickest escape time from the World Trade Center?
- Ten seconds flat.

How long does it take to reach the ground from 107 stories up?
- The rest of your life

Optimism in the attacks of September 11th:
- As you fall past the 20th floor you think, "I'm not hurt yet".

What's the number one drink served on United Airlines?
- Flaming Manhattan

What was the last thing to go through the hijackers mind as he crashed into the WTC?
- Jimmy Peterson's filing cabinet

[LOLTWINTOWERS]

some more 9/11 jokes

What does WTC stand for?
- What Trade Center?


The FBI has just identified the man who trained the hijackers:
- Dale Earnhardt


They dont need any more volunteers to help at the WTC:
- They have found 5000 extra pairs of hands.

New York, New York, so good they hit it twice

What is world most efficient airline?:
- American Airlines, leave Boston 8:15 and be in your office in New York 8:48!

What was the last thing going through the mind of a stockbroker on the 110th floor?
- The radio mast.

Where do Americans go on vacation?
- All over Manhattan.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?
- New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.

Was 2001 a leap year?
- If you work on the 59th floor of the world trade building it was.

What was the quickest escape time from the World Trade Center?
- Ten seconds flat.

How long does it take to reach the ground from 107 stories up?
- The rest of your life

Optimism in the attacks of September 11th:
- As you fall past the 20th floor you think, "I'm not hurt yet".

What's the number one drink served on United Airlines?
- Flaming Manhattan

What was the last thing to go through the hijackers mind as he crashed into the WTC?
- Jimmy Peterson's filing cabinet

[Mattjam]

Sorry guys, I'm opposed to these jokes too, but some of them made me laugh.

[evil joe]

Sorry guys, I'm opposed to these jokes too, but some of them made me laugh.

Same here. A few of them were pretty clever. Looks like he got banned though so I'm steering clear of posting 9/11 jokes for now.

[navid]

those were funny lol

[LOLTWINTOWERS]

Same here. A few of them were pretty clever. Looks like he got banned though so I'm steering clear of posting 9/11 jokes for now.

im still here:wave:
if you have any 9/11 jokes please share

[weister42]

What was the most watched reality TV series?

CNN news reporting live on 9/11/01 and weeks beyond


What program did the terrorists use to train their pilots?

SNES Star Fox. (do a barrel roll)

[evil joe]

im still here:wave:
if you have any 9/11 jokes please share

Oh. Lol. My bad.

[Allergic]

Tried to make up a couple of less offensive ones.

When shouldn't you check your reflection in an office window?

When you're flying a 747.

What is the most dangerous thing about the elevator being out of order?

Muslims will think of anything to get out of taking the stairs.

[Newground Spy]

ip Ban This Fucker

[cr_GB]

What is the Islamic version of Bonfire Night called?
9/11.

Is that now funnier seeing that incorporates the hated "M*slims"?

Is it a bird?
Is it a plane?
Oh sh*t, it is a plane!

Why did the hijacker cross the road?
To get $10,000, a gun and a copy of the Qu'ran off the US Government and a plan named, "9/11-How to hijack a plane".

What did Bush say when he heard news of the 9/11 incidents?
"Mwahahaha"

Why did the planes crash?
Because they were carrying 200+ passengers who were heading to the "US National All-you-can-eat Festival" each. The two Islamic men were just trying to fly the planes into the water for a safe landing. However, due to America's lack of understanding of foreign cultures, the people on the plane thought that the amazingly skilled Muslim pilots were trying to hijack the plan and crash it into the Twin Towers-as if!

[chris_man38]

How do you get rid of 3000 Yankee's fans?

9/11.

[SirRealProject]

im definatly going hell for that lol

[brdispatch05]

hahahaha

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/21_July_2005_London_bombings

[Phat_Jakk]

This thread is not funny at all.

[Hemlock]

9/11 ...

Look, I dont want to upset anyone, but I have to be honest here. I am British, and some of the American jokes on this forum just completely ruin it for me ...

I mean, what the fuck happened on the ninth of November anyway ?

[loltrain]

9/11 ...

Look, I dont want to upset anyone, but I have to be honest here. I am British, and some of the American jokes on this forum just completely ruin it for me ...

I mean, what the fuck happened on the ninth of November anyway ?

I lol'd :lol:

[Nihas]

9/11 ...

Look, I dont want to upset anyone, but I have to be honest here. I am British, and some of the American jokes on this forum just completely ruin it for me ...

I mean, what the fuck happened on the ninth of November anyway ?

Remember Remember, the ninth of November.

[Hemlock]

Remember Remember, the ninth of November.
lol, ah yes 'bonfire night' + 4 days ...

[Incinerator]

9/11 ...

Look, I dont want to upset anyone, but I have to be honest here. I am British, and some of the American jokes on this forum just completely ruin it for me ...

I mean, what the fuck happened on the ninth of November anyway ?

hahahaha oh wow...

:lmao::lmao::lmao:

[GOD!]

hahahaha

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/21_July_2005_London_bombings

HA HA! Londan got fucked too!:bigwink::boink:

[Josh122]

We had about 50 deaths, you had about 15x more.
You got pwned.
Plus, london can suck my dick anyway, it's shit, I'd rather it had been us that got the planes instead of you anyday, might of cleared the streets of some scumbags.

[Cryxen]

Anyone who is offended by this is a fucking idiot who relies on nationalism to find purpose, i feel hatred for anyone who is so easily manipulated by the ridiculous symbols known as the stars and stripes.

Americans who can't live without nationalism, eat some concrete and harden the fuck up!

A country is just an overly propagated idea, it's the same thing with celebrity worship, what better way to use your time then reading about britney!!!!111
America!!! Rumsfeld!

So Bush, where the fuck is your God?

lawl

[foopwa]

Anyone who is offended by this is a fucking idiot who relies on nationalism to find purpose, i feel hatred for anyone who is so easily manipulated by the ridiculous symbols known as the stars and stripes.

Americans who can't live without nationalism, eat some concrete and harden the fuck up!

A country is just an overly propagated idea, it's the same thing with celebrity worship, what better way to use your time then reading about britney!!!!111
America!!! Rumsfeld!

So Bush, where the fuck is your God?

lawl

wtf are u talking about lol?

[jumpoo]

hahaha dont quarrel that was fun

[GOD!]

We had about 50 deaths, you had about 15x more.
You got pwned.
Plus, london can suck my dick anyway, it's shit, I'd rather it had been us that got the planes instead of you anyday, might of cleared the streets of some scumbags.

I live in the UK too but It's just i never knew

[chrisvet]

Found this funny, but I'm Canadian & don't give a shit.

[BassGuitar25]

What's 9 divided by 11 divided by 01?
A good investment in real estate. (A temporary dip in the price of downtown real estate, followed by an almost 100% increase over the next five years.)

BassGuitar25's rule of humor:

If you have to explain the joke it's not good.

[BassGuitar25]

Anyone who is offended by this is a fucking idiot who relies on nationalism to find purpose, i feel hatred for anyone who is so easily manipulated by the ridiculous symbols known as the stars and stripes.

Americans who can't live without nationalism, eat some concrete and harden the fuck up!

A country is just an overly propagated idea, it's the same thing with celebrity worship, what better way to use your time then reading about britney!!!!111
America!!! Rumsfeld!

So Bush, where the fuck is your God?

lawl

You joined EBWF just to post that?

lawl.

[Latarian_Milton]

i am american and i find this amusing