Share your best fart stories!

[peanuts0067]

my two best ones:

In middle school i had to fart so bad but i waited till i was in the dead center of all the hallways and let it rip. this was while 100s of people had to get through. a minute later people were screaming and tearing eachother apart trying to get out of the area even though it was jam packed so they couldnt get anywhere hahahahahahahaah


One time i farted in my friends face while he was sleeping and in the morning he told me he dreamed of a toxic waste dump!

[Duckels]

One time, at summer camp. (It was like a church camp thing), we were all sitting down for prayer, and i bent wrong. and in the dead silence, i accidently let out the loudest, longest fart of my life. I swear, it musta went on for 15-20 seconds, disturbing the complete silence, Hillarity ensued.

[Mattjam]

One time I farted in my dog's face... she's learned to move when I put my ass near her face.

WARNING: Slightly unrelated story - I once made my dog smell my armpit and coincidently she threw up about 10 seconds afterward.

[peanuts0067]

One time I farted in my dog's face... she's learned to move when I put my ass near her face.

WARNING: Slightly unrelated story - I once made my dog smell my armpit and coincidently she threw up about 10 seconds afterward.

hahaha nice

[Jay-Z]

I farted while reading this thread.

[bryan1623]

You don't want to know...

[Bobzor]

One time I farted in my dog's face... she's learned to move when I put my ass near her face.

WARNING: Slightly unrelated story - I once made my dog smell my armpit and coincidently she threw up about 10 seconds afterward.

Isn't the dog hinting you to get a bath? :)
A while back for one day i had really bad farts but silent. My friend turned his head to the front of class, everyone was quiet as miss read the book and BOOM FUX U CRAIG, He dived in the air coughing running away, and soon it spread across the room even the teacher couldn't take that shit. :rolleyes:

[poop100]

This one time at Best Buy I farted and everyone in the store died except for me so I went and took a Nintendo Wii.

[peanuts0067]

This one time at Best Buy I farted and everyone in the store died except for me so I went and took a Nintendo Wii.

id imagine they wouldve just been so ocupied with the smell that you could walk out the door with it
hahaha

[godlytorturous1]

This one time at Best Buy I farted and everyone in the store died except for me so I went and took a Nintendo Wii.

id imagine they wouldve just been so ocupied with the smell that you could walk out the door with it
hahaha

i dont think theyd be too occupied with any smell... :dunce: :lol:

one time i was down at a rodeo with my pa, and i went to get snacks, there was a fat woman behind me, and i let loose the LOUDEST gut-wrencher you've aver heard...the fat lady proceded to drop her nachos (including HOT cheese) unto the back of my trousers...

[Captain Kate]

i dont think theyd be too occupied with any smell... :dunce: :lol:

one time i was down at a rodeo with my pa, and i went to get snacks, there was a fat woman behind me, and i let loose the LOUDEST gut-wrencher you've aver heard...the fat lady proceded to drop her nachos (including HOT cheese) unto the back of my trousers...

I thought that was funny until I found out you're a chick. I mean I'm not trying to be a prude, since everyone gets the farts, but for some reason the story just became disgusting.

[godlytorturous1]

I thought that was funny until I found out you're a chick. I mean I'm not trying to be a prude, since everyone gets the farts, but for some reason the story just became disgusting.


well darlin when youve lived in a small town in tennesee, anthing goes!

[peanuts0067]

I thought that was funny until I found out you're a chick. I mean I'm not trying to be a prude, since everyone gets the farts, but for some reason the story just became disgusting.

relax, girls fart out glade packets

[Mattjam]

I also remember once farting in my elementary school and after someone noticed it you would have thought that they fucking quarantined the classroom. All the students except me went to the opposite side of the classroom and they started spraying air freshner everywhere. Talk about embarrasing. I kept farting a lot that year just to spite them.

[godlytorturous1]

I also remember once farting in my elementary school and after someone noticed it you would have thought that they fucking quarantined the classroom. All the students except me went to the opposite side of the classroom and they started spraying air freshner everywhere. Talk about embarrasing. I kept farting a lot that year just to spite them.


:lol:
7891

[jijiji]

In kindergarten the teacher was reading this story and while she was reading I let out a HUUUUGE fart. I mean like a roar out of my ass and the teacher stopped reading and everyone stared at me blankly for like 10 seconds before all the boys started laughing and the girls went "eeew!!"

Another time during summer camp we were telling ghost stories and I let out a machine gun style fart sound while the chief dude was telling his story. Everyone joked I shit my pants at the scary story.

Also can't forget the time I farted in middle school but it was a wet one and the smell dragged on ALL day so I had to sit near the corner away from the class. At the corner was the bookshelf and when reading time started hilarity ensued.

[rob313]

I once once was in an aisle in K-mart let one rip and walked away,then this little old lady walked up the aisle. She walked right into the zone and just let out OH MY LORD!!

[peanuts0067]

I once once was in an aisle in K-mart let one rip and walked away,then this little old lady walked up the aisle. She walked right into the zone and just let out OH MY LORD!!

hahaha those are the best, i love to fart real big then walk away and see who walks into the warzone next

[rob313]

Its bad if its one that follows you.

[Fender Strat]

Its bad if its one that follows you.

That usually means you've shit yourself.

[Mr Nelson]

Fuck I love this thread, I think fart humour is the one thing that can never get old and die.

Few years back in high school it was silent reading in my tutor, I let this cracker out, I mean the room was in pure silence; I got sent out for it.

[rob313]

That usually means you've shit yourself.

Or it stained your pants

[Sleek]

After eating cheese doritos i usually let one rip on my little brothers face. He pure chokes lol.

[LBJ23]

Once during marching band we were all sitting on the bleachers. Everyone in my row felt a small rumbling. then they noticed the smell:dunce: :dunce:

[korvus]

Lol, nice stories. I remember one time at mid school... geez, i still don't know how i got away with it... i had the cough, real bad, and accidentally i've released one out loud while coughing. I remember so well, suddenly a cold sweat came... i stayed there quiet in the middle of the classroom thinking how mocked i would be... aparently no one heard it, so i was safe.

And this friend of mine, during a midterm, accidentally let one go, his test was void for bad behaviour... poor guy, he tried to apologise himself, but the teacher didn't care.

[Rapex]

One time I was watching amnyville horror (the remake) with some people. I forgot what part it was at but it was really tense and everyone was expecting something to pop up on the screen and scream anytime soon. Someone said "Wait for it. It's coming...", refering to the movie. Then about 3 seconds later my friend lets out the biggest fart I've ever heard in my life. Pretty entertaining at the time.

[mO 64 StAnG 06]

LOL, wow... I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Just something about farting I find so funny.

[MiKe]

At a party one time, me a 2 friends were hanging out in this guy's backyard. It was nearly 4 AM and most of the people left already, so we were the only people in the yard.
One of my friends is passed out, drunk off his ass, sitting upright in a plastic lawn chair.
My other friend says, "Dude, check this out". He walks over to my passed out friend and farts directly on his face, like his ass was no more then 2 inches from his mouth.
My passed out friend starts doing this thing with his mouth like he's sucking on something that isn't there, makes a wierd face, and in one heave pukes all over the front of his shirt.
I don't think he even opened his eyes. Me and my friend laughed our asses off for like 10 minutes. He had no idea what happened the next morning.

[MexAmercn_Moose]

At a party one time, me a 2 friends were hanging out in this guy's backyard. It was nearly 4 AM and most of the people left already, so we were the only people in the yard.
One of my friends is passed out, drunk off his ass, sitting upright in a plastic lawn chair.
My other friend says, "Dude, check this out". He walks over to my passed out friend and farts directly on his face, like his ass was no more then 2 inches from his mouth.
My passed out friend starts doing this thing with his mouth like he's sucking on something that isn't there, makes a wierd face, and in one heave pukes all over the front of his shirt.
I don't think he even opened his eyes. Me and my friend laughed our asses off for like 10 minutes. He had no idea what happened the next morning.

poor guy could have chocked on his own vomit....but one time in elementary we were coming back from lunch and were standing in line waiting for the teacher to open the calssroom door........i was standing behind the fat kid in class and i let out one of those deadly "suppressed farts" that bitch was silent and stunk...i played it off by blaming the fat kid in front of me and everybody made fun of him:cool: