funny sex positions!!

[The_Bosh]

pretty sure this has been done before but who cares


the screaming pelican -

youre fucking a girl on the beach, take your dick out, stick it in the sand and then shove it in her ass :boink:

[RancidMilk]

German candy cane.

[The_Bosh]

German candy cane.



and a german candy cane is?

[nsxnext]

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @ screaming pelican.

[Eksta C]

"The Sphincter Puncture"

This is were the guy lies flat on his back with a stonking erection. Your girl is to be placed in a sex swing which is suspended from the ceiling (roughly 4 or 5ft above your penis) once you think your lined up, using the release remote you made earlier RELEASE HER.
She swoops down onto your cock, causing intense penortration and a punctured sphincter.
PM for plans, Blueprints and safety gear. Fuck Safe.

[Beeah]

"The Sphincter Puncture"

This is were the guy lies flat on his back with a stonking erection. Your girl is to be placed in a sex swing which is suspended from the ceiling (roughly 4 or 5ft above your penis) once you think your lined up, using the release remote you made earlier RELEASE HER.
She swoops down onto your cock, causing intense penortration and a punctured sphincter.
PM for plans, Blueprints and safety gear. Fuck Safe.


Done that

/check

[Tazer]

Screaming Pelican is good, BUT you are no match for my Rolodex of Love! The Rolodex of Love is something me and my buddies came up with on a random whim talking about random sexual positions. Basically a perverts Kama Sutra. I will post a copy of it here. Screaming pelican is going in there though. Hopefully one day, we have enough to make a book out of it, and sell copies worldwide.

[Gooser]

The Donkey Punch: This is when your ramming some bird up the arse. When you are about to ejaculate, you punch the bird in the back of the head to tighten her Anal Muscles up, thus giving you a better Orgasm.

Jam Donut: When you are about to ejaculate your load onto your ladies face, you quickly deliver a right hook to her nose. And with any givin luck, you will break her nasel passage, thus mixing your Love Custard and her Blood together. For the best results you can mix it together with your hand to achieve a jam donut like consistency.

Abraham Lincoln: Spunk over your sluts face(The lower part, around the mouth). Then using the pubes you shaved off earlier, surprise her by throwing them all on her face, giving her an Abraham lincoln type beard.

[Eksta C]

Abraham Lincoln: Spunk over your sluts face(The lower part, around the mouth). Then using the pubes you shaved off earlier, surprise her by throwing them all on her face, giving her an Abraham lincoln type beard.

:lol: !! thats fuckin quality, A must!!!!

[Tazer]

If I could find a way to get to my Myspace. Whoever wants to help me out, I'll give you the address so you can post it on here for me! It's worth the time, and a lot of these are covered on here!

[jnettl2]

The Tony Danza

When you are doing a girl hard start yelling, "Who's the boss? Who's the boss" and right before she says your name yell, 'TONY DANZA!'

[brdispatch05]

The Al Quieda Anal::

Fuck her from behind, and just as your about to cum, cut her head off

[Squeezymo]

^^lol

The Breakup:

Tell your girlfriend you have AIDS

[Rapex]

The Tony Danza

When you are doing a girl hard start yelling, "Who's the boss? Who's the boss" and right before she says your name yell, 'TONY DANZA!'

roflmao!


Cleaveland Steamer

Basically you fuck a girl in any position you want and in the morning take a gigantic shit (steamer) on her chest and then run out the door and never see her again.:boink:

[UncleJemima83]

in highschool, a few buddies of mine found 70 pages, size 10 font, singled spaced of these things, i have the list and will post more


amazon firefighter

right before you blow your load, light her pubes on fire then extinguish with ur spunk



here is the one of the more funny ones...

the larry holmes

find some old, rich ice queen. Woo her. At some point during sex, preferably in the doggie style or cowgirl, begin popping her floppy tits like they were two punching bags. As she struggles to get away from you to dial 911, deliver the knockout donkey punch to the back of the head (or to the face, depending on position). Finish by stealing her biggest diamond necklace and parading around her neighborhood while holding it above your head like a title belt.

[UncleJemima83]

oh yea, here is one of the more unforgetable ones

the wooden indian

Next time your banging a gook, stuff an old dime store wooden Indian up her cunt 'till she's dead. Then throw her in front of a truck. I call this the wooden Indian I think you will too. Great around the holidays. In the event an officer of the law should catch you, just mutter incoherently about Pearl Harbor and Nazis. You're sure to get off

my roomate named his fantasy football team the wooden indians after reading this

[likethis]

The Pirate- When you are about to shoot off the boys, kick her in the leg and shoot it in her eye. Thus she is jumping around with an eyepatch.

[UncleJemima83]

The Pirate- When you are about to shoot off the boys, kick her in the leg and shoot it in her eye. Thus she is jumping around with an eyepatch.

that reminds me of the pirate maker:

when a chick is slobbing on ur nuts, poke her in the in the eye with ur dick

[evil joe]

Pink Sock
This is the result of excessive anal plundering; the intestines actually exit through the anus, forming a dangling mass, resembling a pink sock.

Ride The Bull
When you are pounding a chick in the ass, reach around and grab onto her titties and yell "I HAVE AIDS!", then try and stay on as long as you can.

[DOMADOR]

''The Flaming Dragon'' is a variation of the ''Jam Donut'' while having blow job,at the very same moment of cumin in mouth,throw a powerfull blow with both hands on each side of her neck (karate like) and you should be able to see the mystic ''Flaming Dragon''.....(cum expeling from her nose):D

[gatorpatric0]

Mississippi Leaner: When Jacking off while laying down, instead of nutting randomly on yourself, you lean over to the side and nut on the floor next to what ever you are leaning on.
(My Invention, proof is on Urban Dictionary, I go by 'Stew-pot' on there)

Durka Durka Job: A manuever performed on a male. From behind, while the male is standing, you finger the butt hole and cup the balls at the same time, making for a very comedic hand motion. Used more as a comedic phrase instead of actual sexual manuever.

Muhammed Jihad extension: An extension to the Durka Durka Job, instead of fingering the butthole and cupping the balls, you fist the butthole and rythmbag the sac.

Porcelain Surprise: When taking a shit, as the first log drops, it splashes water up on your asshole, leaving you surprised, hence 'Porcelain Surprise'.

All of these are me and my roommates' inventions.

[UncleJemima83]

''The Flaming Dragon'' is a variation of the ''Jam Donut'' while having blow job,at the very same moment of cumin in mouth,throw a powerfull blow with both hands on each side of her neck (karate like) and you should be able to see the mystic ''Flaming Dragon''.....(cum expeling from her nose):D


that's also like the alaskan fire dragran but your supposed to punch her in the stomach and cover her mouth

[The_Bosh]

Mississippi Leaner: When Jacking off while laying down, instead of nutting randomly on yourself, you lean over to the side and nut on the floor next to what ever you are leaning on.
(My Invention, proof is on Urban Dictionary, I go by 'Stew-pot' on there)

Durka Durka Job: A manuever performed on a male. From behind, while the male is standing, you finger the butt hole and cup the balls at the same time, making for a very comedic hand motion. Used more as a comedic phrase instead of actual sexual manuever.

Muhammed Jihad extension: An extension to the Durka Durka Job, instead of fingering the butthole and cupping the balls, you fist the butthole and rythmbag the sac.

Porcelain Surprise: When taking a shit, as the first log drops, it splashes water up on your asshole, leaving you surprised, hence 'Porcelain Surprise'.

All of these are me and my roommates' inventions.




so how many times a day do you and your roomate practice the durka durka?

[gigglemuffin]

Pink Sock
This is the result of excessive anal plundering; the intestines actually exit through the anus, forming a dangling mass, resembling a pink sock.

Ride The Bull
When you are pounding a chick in the ass, reach around and grab onto her titties and yell "I HAVE AIDS!", then try and stay on as long as you can.

I saw the bold in a porn once. Of course I cummed like Mt. Saint Helens.

[puppetmasterjjk]

the bloody creme stump:

while she is deepthroating, and you are pretty full of cum, deliver a good ol' mike tyson style uppercut to her jaw.

[Genious]

The Indiana Jones *must have 12 inch cock or longer*

Before sex, your girlfriend throws you out the window of a 3 story building. You use your cock whip to catch a flagpole and swing yourself back into the room. Invigorated, you throw the girl onto the bed and raid her lost ark (anus). The next morning she wakes up with the Temple of Doom and tells you it's the Last Crusade you'll ever have with her.

[gatorpatric0]

so how many times a day do you and your roomate practice the durka durka?

"Practice? You talking about practice? I mean....cmon....NOT A GAME, NOT A GAME....NOT A GAME, practice, I mean, we talkin about practice." - Allen Iverson

Like I said, its more about comedy than actually doing it, as are most of these things said in this thread.

Ill give you a Durka Durka Mohammed Jihad anytime youd like.

[Eksta C]

Mississippi Leaner: When Jacking off while laying down, instead of nutting randomly on yourself, you lean over to the side and nut on the floor next to what ever you are leaning on.
(My Invention, proof is on Urban Dictionary, I go by 'Stew-pot' on there)

So before you came up with the "Mississippi Leaner" you just spunked all over yourself? :ohnoes:

[Tazer]

I can't believe the Eiffel Tower has been left out of this one.

Eiffel Tower:

You and your boddy are tag teaming some dime street bimbo. One goes in the front, the other goes in the back, with her bent over, and then they both high five, thus taking the shape of the Eiffel Tower.

Chow Mein Noodles

In order to do this, you must be able to build up enough of a load to paint a room. Now, while you have this woman finishing you off on her knees, you pull it out of her mouth and blow your spunk in her hair, letting it dry, it forms the shape of nice crunchy chow mein noodles.

Sealing the Envelope

Whenever a bitch is so drunk, and she passes out naked, you are forced to Seal the Envelope because you aren't getting any. Jerk off, and blow your load in her ass so that when she wakes up in the morning, she has to pry her asscheeks apart, much like a sealed envelope.

Blumpkin

While taking a dump, a girl is giving you head

Throne of Lightning

A variation of Blumpkin, so that whenever you blow your load in her mouth, you grab her head and stuff it in the toilet.

Snowplow

Your nailing a chick from behind, doggy style, and reach foward, grabbing her arms, sending her front end down. Instinctively she will lift her head, able to plow anything out of her way until she hits something solid. Works best at the top of a flight of stairs, because you begin to ride her like a sled.

Airtight
Each hole filled, thus making her.... Airtight

Sunday Service Special

Filling every hole at different times during the same session.

The Ice Princess

Take a chick who thinks she is God's Gift to mankind. You know the type, the Ice Princess. And fuck her from behind, then take your two fingers, and shove them up her ass, when she turns around to scold you, plug those two fingers up her nose and say "What you think your shit don't stink?!"

Houdini

Whenever nailing a girl from behind, and your about to spunk, spit on her back, so she turns around, and blast in her face, extra points goes to the person who can say "Suprise" and keep a straight face.

That's it for now. More to come later.

[gatorpatric0]

So before you came up with the "Mississippi Leaner" you just spunked all over yourself? :ohnoes:

Nah.....

I just finally came up with a name for it.

[evil joe]

I saw the bold in a porn once. Of course I cummed like Mt. Saint Helens.

So did I. I was like, "Wtf?"

[Kaije]

Houdini 2 (aka The Escape Artist) Version 2:

The way I heard it was way different, bend her over your bed if it's next to a window, and have your friend hidden in the closet. Cum without her noticing, then have your friend take over, again without her noticing. If she starts to look back, shove her head in a pillow. Leave the room quietly, and run around to outside the window. When she has come, have your friend let the blinds up loudly. When she looks outside to see you, wave at her.

[KicktheBaby]

The poltergiest(sp?)- When your fucking a girl from behind,infront of a window(so shes looking out) you have a friend waiting in the room and you swap positions without her knowing. Then you go outside and wave to her from outside

[Tazer]

Houdini 2 (aka The Escape Artist) Version 2:

The way I heard it was way different, bend her over your bed if it's next to a window, and have your friend hidden in the closet. Cum without her noticing, then have your friend take over, again without her noticing. If she starts to look back, shove her head in a pillow. Leave the room quietly, and run around to outside the window. When she has come, have your friend let the blinds up loudly. When she looks outside to see you, wave at her.

That's actually called the Switcharoo! If you can actually pull it off without her noticing, then you're a god amongst men!

[swchblade34]

I remember the old thread with all of these listed in it, it was like 8 + pages long, i hope this one ends up gettin as popular as that one was

[HereLiesMatthew]

The pirate - get a girl to stuck your dick, then jizz in her eye, and kick her in the shin real hard, so she covers one eye like an eye-patch, hobbles around like a pegleg, and moans "arrrgh"

[Superior_to_you]

Alabama Hot Pocket: Shit directly into a chick's pussy then eat her out.

[6teen9]

Cheif Joesph-

thats when your eating a girl out and shes on her period and you take her tampon out with your teeth and smack it againest your cheeks back forth

The White Dragon-

thats when a girl is sucking your cock and your about to cum and you slam her head down onto your cock..and have the cum spray out of her nose ( pr make her laugh)

The Rusty Trombone-

thats when your fucking her from behind and your about to cum you pull out and smack the back of her head and when she turns around you take her head and slam it on your cock

[Tazer]

The Rusty Trombone-

thats when your fucking her from behind and your about to cum you pull out and smack the back of her head and when she turns around you take her head and slam it on your cock


A Rusty trombone is where a chick is tossing a guy's salad and jerks him off at the same time, taking the shape of a person playing the trombone

[400exXx]

Cleveland Steamer: When you take a shit on someones chest, then lay down and roll back and forth like a steam roller.

Russian Candy Cane: When you cum all over a girls face and punch her in the nose, white/red colored.

Chocolate Taco: The act of shitting in a females pussy, then eating her out.

[Offcell]

the lamp shade: when you are doing a girl and you put a lamp shade on her head. then you laugh and say "you have a lamp shade on your head."

[mrfett3463]

Alabama Hot Pocket:
First open your girls vagina and proceed to take a shit in the vaginal cavity and then close it back up.

"That bitch thought she was the shit, so i gave her the good old Alabama Hot Pocket."

[crap face]

Hahahahahahaha mann these things are fuckin hilarious.

[swchblade34]

snowball- cum in a girl's mouth then proceed to make out w/ her

lumpkin- get a bj while takin a shit

[viper025]

these arent mine...i heard it on some comedy show

The hoodini (good for a girl tat doesnt like facial):
bang a girl from the back and spit on her bak so she thinks u came...and when she turns around cum on her face and say "TA DA"

the spider-man:
Cum on ur hand and sling it at her face or any other body part

n i forget the rest :ohnoes:

[doublehoudini]

Alabama Hot Pocket - fuck her with a condom, halfway through cover your dick with icy hot...

Paddington Surprise - fuck her from behind then come on her favorite teddy bear, then slap her in the face with it...that is the surprise.

Space Docking - Shit into her pussy

Avalanche - she sucks your dick on the top of the stairs you cum on her face then kick her down the stairs...lol

Double Houdini -when you fuck her from behind and she sucks your friends dick, then you spit on her back when she turns around you cum on her face.....then when she turns around again your friend cums on her face......double houdini

[dionysus]

Abraham Lincoln: Spunk over your sluts face(The lower part, around the mouth). Then using the pubes you shaved off earlier, surprise her by throwing them all on her face, giving her an Abraham lincoln type beard.


you can then follow it up with a john wilkes booth, which is where after performing the abe lincoln, you have your assistant who has been secretly masterbating in the closet, leap out, bust on her head and jump out the window, in a perfect world breaking his leg. this takes extensive coriographing, perfect timing and possibly serious personal injury, but it is well worth it in the end.

[dionysus]

here are some more

the toboggan - after hitting it doggie at the top of a staircase, preferably carpeted, pull her arms back, hit her in the back of the head with a modified donkey punch, hop on her back and ride her down the stairs

the kunta kenta - after having gross anal sex, pull out and smere shit on her back, then start lashing her back with your cock while screaming "YOUR NAME IS TOBY!!"

the suicide bomber - take a shit on her chest and wipe it off with pages of the koran

[MoernBrock123]

bump. we need to keep these coming,lol:lmao::raiseeyeb

[Nightstalker13]

what was the other thread? can anyone give a link? I remember it having a link to a site full of these.

[willsk84food.]

Texas Chain Saw- Fuck her anyway and the right before you come cut her head off and cum down her neck. She'll love it.

[kaptkrool]

Fork Lift - When she's laying on the edge of the bed, penetrate her, then stand up and pick her up only with your dick, and walk her around and put her somewhere else. Its only recommended for girls under 12 years old though, so you don't injure yourself, and because girls that are any older are gross.



The Flaming Shit-Dick - When she's sleeping, take a rusty ice pick, and poke her eye out, and then stick your hands in the socket, and pull apart to spread it open as much as possible, don't worry about ripping her skin though, she'll be sleeping. Jerk off into the enlarged eye socket, and then stick your hand up her ass, grab onto some shit, pull it out, and then stick it up your urethra, and then chop your nuts off (you won't need them anymore, you have plenty of shit to impregnate people with now). When she wakes up, act like nothing happened, and accuse her of cheating on you, giving you an excuse to break her legs, then push her down the stairs, then push her back up the stairs, then lock her inside, and then set the house on fire, and then shit (through your dick) all over the burning house.

[willsk84food.]

The Flaming Shit-Dick - When she's sleeping, take a rusty ice pick, and poke her eye out, and then stick your hands in the socket, and pull apart to spread it open as much as possible, don't worry about ripping her skin though, she'll be sleeping. Jerk off into the enlarged eye socket, and then stick your hand up her ass, grab onto some shit, pull it out, and then stick it up your urethra, and then chop your nuts off (you won't need them anymore, you have plenty of shit to impregnate people with now). When she wakes up, act like nothing happened, and accuse her of cheating on you, giving you an excuse to break her legs, then push her down the stairs, then push her back up the stairs, then lock her inside, and then set the house on fire, and then shit (through your dick) all over the burning house.

Oh.. my... god.........

[abbie10390]

i don't know if it's been said but...

the pink sock: when a guy is doing a girl from behind and withdraws so fast that her intestines come out, resembling a pink sock.:eek:


the kunta kenta - after having gross anal sex, pull out and smere shit on her back, then start lashing her back with your cock while screaming "YOUR NAME IS TOBY!!"


hahahaha oh god. we're watching that movie in history.

[willsk84food.]

Anal- stick it in her pooper. LOL o man...

[Mexican Seafood]

i thought pink sock was when you were fuckin and s/he squeezed her but as you pull out as hard as you can and her/his rectum is pulled out a couple inches

[abbie10390]

i thought pink sock was when you were fuckin and s/he squeezed her but as you pull out as hard as you can and her/his rectum is pulled out a couple inches

yeah i think so...thats what i meant to say at least

[Mexican Seafood]

yea im pretty sure pink sock doesnt entail organs leaving the body

[etpmatt]

ah damn i spent 20min reading this thread.. its fucking win

[BlueQuarter]

The Hot-Carl.

American version is, putting saran-wrap on your chest or fact and let your partner shit on you.

Canadian version is, getting a blowjob while shitting.

[Muffinhead]

Ok. Ok I have one. It's called Mung. It's my personal favorite. Let me explain..

You go to a bar or playground, wherever you pick up chicks, and find one that fits your standards. Talk to her and ask her out. Promise that it will be unlike any other date she's ever been on or heard of. Take her out on that date, do whatever boring shit she wants, just waste a few hours until it gets pretty late. When she's about ready to call it a night, tell her you want to take her to your favorite spot, as a nice ending to a splendid evening with her. Drive out to the nearest swamp, then get out and kill her. This can be done with your hands, a gun, a chainsaw, a bunch of small rocks, or whatever. Just do the job. After she's good and dead, tie her leg to a string to make sure she doesn't float too far, then come back in about a week and relocate her festering carcus. Place her legs over your shoulders to where your mouth is over her flesh lettuce, then press down on her stomach, HARD. Whatever comes out is mung!

[KingKen69]

The manhood suicide or tranny transformation;
While recieving a blowjob tell your girlfriend that she is the worst sex ever, and that she is a fat ugly, cow.

The ultrapowerbomb;
Just like the wrestling move, have your gf wrap her thighs around your neck, this is to be done while she is wearing a skirt, with no underwear under. Eat her up and make her feel good lol. This can be done in public, as it is not that noticable.

The fight club;
Every time your girlfriend says a word that you have figured out with her at the start of the day, at any time during the day, stick both of your fists into both of her entrances.

Lol i like this.

[babydave13]

ok here are a few of my faves.

Chilli dog - take a dump on a girl's chest and then titty fuck her.

hot carl - take a dump onto a piece of saran wrap and then wrap it up tight and use it as a dildo on the chick.

chilli carl - do the hot carl and then dump out the shit on her chest and chilli dog her.

The scarlet letter - While fucking a girl on her period when you are about to cum pull out your bloodied dick and try to cum in 3 bursts Writing a big letter A on her chest

p.s. the John Wilkes booth is amazing.

[thecaptain]

can't forget my all time favorite

the catch of the day: you have a buddy hide out in the closet with a camera. your doing the girl from behind you pull out stick your two fingers in her ass and 2 fingers in her mouth and pick her up.. then your buddy pops out of the closet and takes a photo.

[byrniemac99]

The Florida Snorkeler - Have a girl blow u upside down, then break her nose and fuck her bloody nostrals. "NRKNKKRKKKNKNKKREERKTHHS"

[JtodaP]

Cant believe no one said the dog in the tub. Thats when you stuff your balls into a chicks asshole. Its very difficult to get them in and to keep them there, hence like a dog in a tub,lol

[XYguy]

Rodeo sex-

Take your woman into a closet big enough to fit both of you. Have her get down on all 4s. Mount her from behind and begin giving it to her good. After a few seconds have gone by, start whispering her sister's name in her ear and see how long you can stay on

[KingKen69]

The milky surprise;
When you are about to blow your load blindfold her and squirt milk all over her, at the same time, save your sperm and when she asks for milk give her you load....

The MJ;
Hide under her bed until you catch her masturbating and when you do jump out and get inside her ASAP, the record is 3.2 seconds including chasing her down.

The armband;
Stick your WHOLE arm up one of her entrances and then slap her on the ass and see what noises she makes.

The texas rattlesnake;
Just like stone cold steve austin, break 2 beer cans open and pour then into her cave. Then work on her until she's about to cum. Then just as shes on the verge of exploding give her a stone cold stunner and yell SHIGGEDY SHIGGEDY SHWA!!!
But not the shiggedy shiggedy shwa part, thats my line.

[bigballs]

You guys are weird you try nothing new, so old

[DANNY SLOMSKI]

Pirate - Kick your girl in the shin, rip out her eyeball and fuck her in the eyesocket.

[dividingthesky]

Cop's Delight
The act of taking a girl in the ass, pulling out, and spewing all over her "pastry buns", thus transforming her rump into the allusion of an oversized, quivering glazed donut.

Davey Crockett
A sexual maneuver in which you slip muscle relaxants into your gal's snizzpod, then slide your head in, thus wearing your partner's now-relaxed snatch-fur as a coonskin cap. Can come in handy on those cold winter nights.

Dog In A Bathtub
This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.

The Rose Creeper
Seductively brush a beautiful long stem red rose against your sweetheart's neck, breasts, and inner thigh. Slowly rub the rose along her smooth skin as you tenderly kiss her entire body. After working her into the mood for some deep love making, unzip your fly and pull out your raging boner. Begin to punish-fuck her dumper while whipping her with the rose and screaming nasty obscenities at her. I bet she never saw that coming.

nice. ;]

[KingKen69]

The gigapowerbomb;
Just like the ultrapowerbomb, but just as shes about to cum slam her as hard as you can, extra points if she lands on something sharp or lands on your dick.

The back crack and sack;
Lick her back then her crack then her sack, if this worked, you are with a transvestite.

The (ivan) Milat version 1;
Do a sexy role play where she is a hitch hiker and you pick her up but she doesn't have any money so you root her brains out.

The (ivan) Milat version 2;
Do version one then leave her alone without clothes in the middle of nowhere.

The (ivan) Milat version 3;
Do version one then slit her throat, THEN do version two.

The hot mode;
When a girl is in a shower use the water outside so she burns, when she gets out she'll be all hot and flaming. So try a carbon dioxide fire extinguisher on her face and when shes about to suffocate sit on her face until she stops moving, thus clearing the pain.

The have a nice day;
Root her good, bash her up, root her some more, then kill her, doesn't have to be in that particular order.

The average guy;
Get a girls trust over a few years, screw her then leave her, just like any other guy, hence the name.

The Chopper Reid;
Of course you ride her from all positions then finally behind, but make really ugly noises, when she says something like 'what ARE those weird noises?' cut off her ears, hence the name.

[FlyinG ShoosteR]

Portuguese Breakfast: The act of scrambling a few eggs in your girl's vagina, and then cooking them on the stove. Mmmm.

Bald Eagle: The sex act in which the man shaves his partners head bald, and paints a target on the shaven region. He then has sex with the girl, and when he is about to bust, he pulls out, and the girl moves (at least) 15 feet from him. He then attempts to shoot his jizz on target. The closer to the bull's eye he gets, the more the guy can boast.

Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch:
The once in a lifetime act of blowing a hot steamy load down
the back of a girl's throat and then proceeding to give her a large cold bottle of your favourite carbonated drink & making her guzzle it down. Then, shake her head vigorously back and forth tocreate the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping Bitch effect.

The Flying Camel:
For all Cartoon Network fans. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering
her on your knees, you very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl, much like the famous cartoon flying camel. Strictly a classy move.

The Screwnicorn:
When a lesbian puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her
partner like a crazed unicorn.

The Zombie Mask:
While getting a blow job from your favourite and mostly unsuspecting tarty
whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with those "pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're ready to blow a good week's worth of sperm, blast that hefty load in both her eyes. The temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead. Out with the digital camera for posterity!

Cajun Hot Stick - Chew some tobacco, spit it on your dick and stick it up a girl's ass. Named this because chewing tobacco burns sensitive skin.

Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty skank and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore, you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of this situation. Can be very painful.

The Dutch Oven - Also well known. Whenever you fart while humping, pull the covers over her head. Don't let her out until all movement ceases.

The Fish Eye - Working from behind, you shove your finger in her pooper. Thereupon, she turns around in a one - eyed winking motion to see what the hell you are doing.

The Flaming Pele - While a chick is on top riding you, just as you are ready to cum, grab the nearest lighter, lift her off your schlong, and ignite her pubes. When she jumps straight up in the air, do the famous Pel* bicycle kick right into her flaming pubes - launching her across the room. If they are still ignited, you can walk over and use your jizz to put them out (Flaming Amazon).

Mr Furley - When a girl gives you head, you stick both of your index fingers in her ears.

The Homolic Maneuver - Using your penis to dislodge an object blocking a choking victim's windpipe.

Hot Karl - Oral immediately after anal.

Hot Kyle - 69 and fart.

Sir Markowitz - While a girl gives you head you knight her with your sword.

New York Style Taco - Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down on her, you puke on her box. Happy trails!

The Nixon - Tell your buddies you're taking some dirty skank to your room to lay the smack down on. Start doing her doggy style, with her facing the door. When your friends burst in some 5 minutes later, put your hands up, do 2 peace signs and say "I AM NOT A CROOK!"

One Armed Bandit - While giving your girl a back massage, use the other hand to blow a load on her back.

Pearl Necklace - Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl, it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.

Seargent/Colonel Perkins - A girl gives you head and does push-ups at the same time.

Pile Driver - Holding the woman by the waist and standing up so only the back of her head and shoulders are in contact with the ground/bed. Point your bishop down and select the entrance of choice and proceed with deep knee bends until both of you turn to jelly. Turn it into the "Samoan Pile Driver" by chanting "O-biday o-biday o-biday up!" while performing.

The Play-Through - This requires golf clubs and a golf ball. Socks are optional. When one of your friends is getting busy with a girl in his room, you and 3 buddies open the door just a crack (so that they ont even notice at first), and roll the golf ball in. Next, all 4 guys walk in, wearing whatever you like (I've heard it done naked, I've heard it done wearing only socks over their packages), and ask "Can we play through?" Then, you all survey the ball and say like "this is a tough shot"... act very golfer-like. Then one person lines up, hits the ball out of the room, and you thank them and leave.

The Ram - Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.

Ray Bans - Put your nuts over her eye sockets while getting head. You're can is on her forehead. Yes, it may be anatomically impossible, but it is definitely worth a try.

The Rear Admiral - An absolute blast. When getting a chick from behind (with both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab onto anything when she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside so that the momentum pushes her forward. The goal is to push her into a wall or table, or have her trip and fall on her face. You attain the status of Admiral when you can push her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.

The Corn Dog - When your doin a chick with a yeast infection.

[Awesome-o]

What is the "your name is toby" movie reference?

[FlyinG ShoosteR]

What is the "your name is toby" movie reference?

It's from the tv mini-series "Roots". Some slave is being whipped by a white man, and the white man keeps shouting that his new name is Toby. But the guy refuses to give in, and keeps chanting "Kunta Kintay" or something like that, which is his african name.

[iMAC90]

Yahtzee!
:):lol:
It's When you cum in the girls vagina and she doesn't know ...
Then you jump up and YELL Yahtzee!:boink::lol:

:boink::lol::boink:

[eldiablo674]

The Sherlock Holmes:
first you strap on a strap-on backwards. then you two females bend over in doggy style position in front and back of you then proceed with a forward and backward motion. also, for added realism call them both watson until your finished.

[Trevi626]

nice bump.

and nice bump bump

[dcam0326]

Cleveland Steamer: When you take a shit on someones chest, then lay down and roll back and forth like a steam roller.

Russian Candy Cane: When you cum all over a girls face and punch her in the nose, white/red colored.

Chocolate Taco: The act of shitting in a females pussy, then eating her out.

Theres this ice cream taco served at my school called the choco-taco.

[Tazer]

No Whammy:
Whenever a girl is giving you head, and you realize you're about to cum. You place your hand above her head, and move it around in a circle while concentrating really hard saying "No Whammy, No Whammy, Big Buck, Big Bucks" until you're about to cum, and just as you nut you say "STOP" and slam your open palm down on the back of her head. Inspired by the hit TV show, Whammy.

[PM2]

No Whammy:
Whenever a girl is giving you head, and you realize you're about to cum. You place your hand above her head, and move it around in a circle while concentrating really hard saying "No Whammy, No Whammy, Big Buck, Big Bucks" until you're about to cum, and just as you nut you say "STOP" and slam your open palm down on the back of her head. Inspired by the hit TV show, Whammy.

The original show was called Press Your Luck. How dare you defile it by referring it by that bastardized reincarnation?

[svenson_26]

The Hot Lunch: Put plastic wrap over her mouth. Shit on the plastic wrap. Poke through the plastic wrap with your willie.


The Supa Man- Get a good run up and dive through the air at her and try to land your willie in a hole. Very chalenging.


Pooping back and fourth- You place your sphincters together and poop a poop back and fourth. forever.

[SCMC]

you can then follow it up with a john wilkes booth, which is where after performing the abe lincoln, you have your assistant who has been secretly masterbating in the closet, leap out, bust on her head and jump out the window, in a perfect world breaking his leg. this takes extensive coriographing, perfect timing and possibly serious personal injury, but it is well worth it in the end.

OMG my face was turning red when I read this, hahahahahaha, in a perfect world :lmao:

[VladimirLenin]

Pooping back and fourth- You place your sphincters together and poop a poop back and fourth. forever.

since its supposed to be 'forever' why not mask its name and call it marriage or something.. or diamond

[Fordguy300]

The mexican waterfall_

Urinate inside a girls anus then shake her to create illusion of a waterfall.

[bananakingdom]

whys all the nasty stuff gotsta be a mexican whatever?

[Fordguy300]

whys all the nasty stuff gotsta be a mexican whatever?

Because you cant drink the water

[woodsy]

haha this thread is great! I loved the first one! And the few ive read through.. (hope this one isn't done!)

Rusty trombone: girl licks ur ass while reaching her hand around and pulling you off..

THat's all i got!

Woodsy

[thecelebpics]

lolz,
hahhahahaha

[shane7x]

The Dale Earnhart - Fuck a girl doggy style while slamming her head first in a wall.

[km391711]

The sad puppy-
When you go to your girlfriends house and slam her shitter on her parents bed then rip it out when they arrive home from work early causing your girlfriend to shit everywhere. when the parents ask, blame it on the dog, and try not to feel guilty when they put it to sleep because she was "getting old" and couldnt controll her bowels anymore.

[taiwright]

this is an original

the alaskan pipeline:

wait and wait for that massive dook. you know what im talkin about, that massive rat that takes up the entire toilet. this takes some courage, but carefully remove it, place it in a plastic bag and freeze it. then fuck your chick with it.

[bananakingdom]

this is an original

the alaskan pipeline:

wait and wait for that massive dook. you know what im talkin about, that massive rat that takes up the entire toilet. this takes some courage, but carefully remove it, place it in a plastic bag and freeze it. then fuck your chick with it.

honesty please, you can't give a sexual act a name unless it has been performed once, and in this day and age there should be a video of it online

[Rabbit]

The Hoover Maneuver:

Do a chick doggy style preferably on carpet. When you are about to cum pull out and wait. When she starts to get up push her ass forward so her face gets rubbed into the carpet then cum on her back.


I'm Going To Kill You Via Penis, Ha Ha Just Kidding:

Pretty much self explainitory. When you're done with some good ruffin' and she goes to finish you off with some head you take both your hands and press her head downwards suffocating her with your penis. When she starts to struggle intensely you release your hands and say "ha ha just kidding".

I guess my first post started out a little intense... but whatever ;) Yea they original!

[ten101977]

it's when u take a chick's tracheotomy out, and shag her hole where the operation took place- the blood trickling out resembles a bowtie... hence the name.

[Shleprock]

it's when u take a chick's tracheotomy out, and shag her hole where the operation took place- the blood trickling out resembles a bowtie... hence the name.

you made an account just to say that? hawt

[D3mko]

''The Flaming Dragon'' is a variation of the ''Jam Donut'' while having blow job,at the very same moment of cumin in mouth,throw a powerfull blow with both hands on each side of her neck (karate like) and you should be able to see the mystic ''Flaming Dragon''.....(cum expeling from her nose):D

Also known as the Fierce Dragon...

[ttaylor04]

Hi,
Dude i don't understand What are you really want to say.
So please clear with your thoughts.So, We understand you easily
And may provide some better help to you.
You can also find me at my signature.
I will gonna happy to help you.
Thanks

[robroy]

it's when u take a chick's tracheotomy out, and shag her hole where the operation took place- the blood trickling out resembles a bowtie... hence the name.

This is making me hard.

[FearMe]

This is a pretty funny sex position for me that i would like to try one day:
:redface:
http://digg.com/odd_stuff/Puppet_Sex_from_Decadent_Evil

[kirchow]

The Hoover Maneuver:
I'm Going To Kill You Via Penis, Ha Ha Just Kidding:

Pretty much self explainitory. When you're done with some good ruffin' and she goes to finish you off with some head you take both your hands and press her head downwards suffocating her with your penis. When she starts to struggle intensely you release your hands and say "ha ha just kidding".

I guess my first post started out a little intense... but whatever ;) Yea they original!

what if she bites?

[Rabbit]

Depending on the size of your junk, it is hard to bite down when there is something lodged inside your throat. Because the roof of your mouth comes down with your jaw and the penis will prevent a full chomp. There is the lower jaw to worry about but she will be unable to apply enough leverage to cause much if any pain. Also, most women have a smaller mouth than a guy so it complicates things, especially if they're simultaneously suffocating.

Theres also the "homing torpedo" attack.
That is when you do a chick doggy close to a wall and then ram a smaller dildo into her ass. Usually she will push forward on instinct and hit her face on the wall. Terribly effective.


what if she bites?

[Itsamadhouse12]

"The sex"
You put it in her vagina

[Mr Larkin]

"The sex"
You put it in her vagina

put what in her vagina?

[Itsamadhouse12]

put what in her vagina?

exactly

10exactlys

[FearMe]

this thread is ouda control.

[thesmith]

The Al Quieda Anal::

Fuck her from behind, and just as your about to cum, cut her head off



AAAHAHAHAHAHAAH that's brilliant!!!

[Beastg8]

this is an original:

The Sydney Harbour Bridge: This requires a girl, a tall guy and a slightly shorter guy
(by like 15cm or so). Get the tall guy to give the girl doggie from the back, and the small guy to fuck her in the mouth. Make sure the distance between the two guys is such so that it's shorter than the length of her body. Now put the girls hands on the small guys thighs, and the tall guy to lift her legs up like a wheelbarrow but only slightly off the ground and still on a 45 degree angle to the ground. Because of the small distance between the two guys and the drop down to the smaller guys dick, she will have an arch in her back...now the small guy should support the top of the girl's so that she can stretch her arms out in front of her in a 45degree angle to the floor, just like the legs. You should now have something that looks a lot like the sydney harbour bridge (google it if you dont know what it looks like).

The Larry Holmes, Texas Rattlesnake and Homing Torpedo fucking cracked me up lol.

[SublmnL]

strawberries 'n creme

You plug your girl and right before you nut, pull out, punch her in the nose (get it all nice and bloody) really fast, splooge on her face and smear it all around and then run away yelling "strawberries n' creme".

[hotpooketz]

ive got a few


Alan Titchmarsh's Stroller:This is when you have sex with a partner, while simultaneously walking around the garden and mowing the lawn.

Couch Bombing:When you fill a small Ziploc sandwich bag with Crisco (or your favorite lubrication) and place it between the cushions on the couch. You then proceed to fuck the couch as if it were a woman...but no need to buy it dinner first.

Dirty Sanchez: When you anal a woman, then you take your dick out and wipe it under her nose giving her a mustache

Bronco:You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab onto her tits as tightly as possible and yell another girl's name. This gives you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.

David Copperfield: Going at it doggy style until you are just about to come, then pull out and spit hard, but quietly, on her back so she thinks that you have come. When she turns around unleash a blast into her face and she is left shocked and amazed, wondering at what a great guy you are, and how you managed it.

Eiffel Tower:While achieving double penetration, the two guys high five each other above the girl.

The Munchkin Rotisserie:The Munchkin Rotisserie is when someone has a midget give them oral sex in public without anyone noticing. This usually involves strapping the mini-sized pervert onto your lap and wearing a big raincoat.

One Armed Bandit: While giving your girl a back massage, use the other hand to blow a load on her back.

[jacson333]

roflmao!


Cleaveland Steamer

Basically you fuck a girl in any position you want and in the morning take a gigantic shit (steamer) on her chest and then run out the door and never see her again.:boink:

well, this is some real shit. :raiseeyeb
the girl must feel terrible when she realizes the she has a shit on her chest when she wakes up. :lmao: