MaTdaDDaY
12-20-2006, 03:46 PM
probly been done before but i only see 50 threads on this forum.
ill start...
Q:What do you tell a woman that has two black eyes?
A:Nothing- she has already been told twice
what do you do when your wife asks you to fix her watch? You don't- Theres a clock on the stove.
Q. Why did the woman cross the road?
A. Who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen?
Q. What's the best thing about a blow job from your wife?
A. Ten minutes of silence.
Q. How many men does it take to open a beer?
A. None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%... Wedding cake.
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once.
Why dont women need to drive?
Because there isnt a road between the bedroom and the kitchen
Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kuwait several
years before the Gulf War. She noted then that women customarily
walked about 10 feet behind their husbands.
She returned to Kuwait following "Desert Storm" and observed that
the men now walked several yards behind their wives.
Ms. Walters approached one of the women and said, "This is
marvelous. Can you tell the free world just what enabled women
here to achieve this reversal of roles?"
"Land mines," said the Kuwaiti woman
why did god invent shopping carts? 2 teach women how 2 walk on their hind legs
Q. Why haven't they sent any women to the moon?
A. Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.
Q: How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None..let her cook in the dark
Q. Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?
A. They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
Q. How do you make your wife scream while having sex?
A. Call her and tell her.
ill start...
Q:What do you tell a woman that has two black eyes?
A:Nothing- she has already been told twice
what do you do when your wife asks you to fix her watch? You don't- Theres a clock on the stove.
Q. Why did the woman cross the road?
A. Who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen?
Q. What's the best thing about a blow job from your wife?
A. Ten minutes of silence.
Q. How many men does it take to open a beer?
A. None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%... Wedding cake.
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once.
Why dont women need to drive?
Because there isnt a road between the bedroom and the kitchen
Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kuwait several
years before the Gulf War. She noted then that women customarily
walked about 10 feet behind their husbands.
She returned to Kuwait following "Desert Storm" and observed that
the men now walked several yards behind their wives.
Ms. Walters approached one of the women and said, "This is
marvelous. Can you tell the free world just what enabled women
here to achieve this reversal of roles?"
"Land mines," said the Kuwaiti woman
why did god invent shopping carts? 2 teach women how 2 walk on their hind legs
Q. Why haven't they sent any women to the moon?
A. Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.
Q: How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None..let her cook in the dark
Q. Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?
A. They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
Q. How do you make your wife scream while having sex?
A. Call her and tell her.