Some of my favorite quotes (mildly amusing)

[jnettl2]

Not to bash, but sometimes ebaums makes me think of this one:
We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true. -- Robert Wilensky

I feel like this sometimes:
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
Woody Allen

My favorite toast:
“Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.”
-Homer Simpson

Here are some random ones I just looked up to add weight to this thread:

And on the eighth day God said, "Okay, Murphy, you're in charge!" ~Author Unknown

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together. ~Carl Zwanzig

I plan on living forever. So far, so good. ~Author Unknown

anyone else want to share

[Squeezymo]

Never hit a man with glasses. hit him with something much heavier. Like a bat.

If stupidity got us in this situation, then stupidity can get us out.

If God wanted people to believe in him so much, then why did he invent logic?

[Mattjam]

[I]And on the eighth day God said, "Okay, Murphy, you're in charge!" ~Author Unknown

Me no get.

[Fender Strat]

I think he means the Murphy of Murphy's law, which states that everything that can go wrong, will in fact go wrong.

[TrueDrew]

The National Rifle Association says, 'Gun's don't kill people. People do'. But I think the gun helps.
-Eddie Izzard

[Squeezymo]

The National Rifle Association says, 'Gun's don't kill people. People do'. But I think the gun helps.
-Eddie Izzard

Hahaha. I'm going to use that. That damn transvestite

[evil joe]

"lol sig'd"
-Evil Joe

[Osama Bin Laden]

lol sig'd.

[Scoop]

Hmmm mildly funny