Jokes You'll Go To Hell For Telling

[Jaybone909]

Suprised no started a thread for these kind of jokes. Any ways, my buddy told me this last night and it is with out a doubt the most horrible, fucked up, disgusting joke I have ever heard......I thought I'd share it with you guys lol. Here goes...

A woman is in a hospital giving birth. After many long hours of labor the delivery is almost at an end. The doctor says to the woman, "Push! Push! It's almost out!" Exhausted and in writhing agony she gives the final push and the baby comes out. The doctor then holds up the baby and let's this horrifying scream, AHHHHHHHHHH!!! He then bites off the baby's nose; spits it out! Swings the baby by it's ankles; smashes it against the bed post! Slams it against the wall! And lastly throws it out the window! The shocked woman screams out,"OH MY GOD, MY BABY, MY BABY! WHAT DID YOU DO?"


The Doctor says, "Nah I'm just kidding, it was already dead!"

[naf536]

i lolled for a bit then got strangely aroused by the dead baby :boink:

[beardo]

wow....thats pretty..just wow...

[Issmortor]

ive heard it...well a variation that didnt involve a bit off nose...its not that bad, theres by far worse jokes out there im sure

but then again one must ask, what defines "horrible, etc"

the aristocrats for example, is it terrible, or just nasty...

i digress

/post

[rand0m]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWJmlUE_FVM&mode=related&search=

bwahhahahahah

[pinkyclown]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWJmlUE_FVM&mode=related&search=

bwahhahahahah

http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw10xa_xtNg&mode=related&search=

this 1 is beter

[[H]]

the racist ones are pretty bad, but they ARE good.

[AtrophyOffline]

Here are some of the jokes I've heard over the years. Alot of people know these though i think.

1. A negro, a spick and an iraqui are all sitting in a car, who's driving?

2. Three negros die in a car accident. The media labels the incident a "tragedy". Why?

3. You see a negro riding his bike across the street. What do you do?

4. You spy a negro thrashing about, choking on water - essentially drowning in a lake. What do you toss him?

5. What is the difference between a dead dog lying in the middle of the road and a dead negro lying in the middle of the road?




1. Answer: the police

2. Answer: there was room enough for 5

3. Answer: It could be your bike. Check to see if the bike is yours

4. Answer: His wife and his children, extended family, friends , etc.

5. Answer: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Btw - any race could be substituted for negro - I kept this as the main theme to be consistent for comic effect. Sorry if these jokes offend anyone. If they do its prob not a good idea to take in this post all at once.

Oh and one last one.

- My grandad died in a german concentration camp.

- Really? How did he die?

- He fell off the tower

[Your_Mom]

Here are some of the jokes I've heard over the years. Alot of people know these though i think.

1. A negro, a spick and an iraqui are all sitting in a car, who's driving?

2. Three negros die in a car accident. The media labels the incident a "tragedy". Why?

3. You see a negro riding his bike across the street. What do you do?

4. You spy a negro thrashing about, choking on water - essentially drowning in a lake. What do you toss him?

5. What is the difference between a dead dog lying in the middle of the road and a dead negro lying in the middle of the road?




1. Answer: the police

2. Answer: there was room enough for 5

3. Answer: It could be your bike. Check to see if the bike is yours

4. Answer: His wife and his children, extended family, friends , etc.

5. Answer: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Btw - any race could be substituted for negro - I kept this as the main theme to be consistent for comic effect. Sorry if these jokes offend anyone. If they do its prob not a good idea to take in this post all at once.

Oh and one last one.

- My grandad died in a german concentration camp.

- Really? How did he die?

- He fell off the tower

yeah... i have seen better jokes come out of my ass on a cool summer day

[Mike Oxslong]

How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of it's head.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender!

How do you get them out again?
With tortilla chips!!!

What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

cya guys in hell!

[Your_Mom]

How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of it's head.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender!

How do you get them out again?
With tortilla chips!!!

What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

cya guys in hell!

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a256/i_got_hacked454/Barkerfail.jpg

[Leesin]

^ Why randomly flame people who told pretty amusing jokes when you fucking suck at it, your one measly jizz biscuit even elton wouldnt eat, gtfo off our interwebz.

[ESP83]

q. whats a renig???

a. a shift change at Mcdonalds

[Mattjam]

^ Why randomly flame people who told pretty amusing jokes when you fucking suck at it, your one measly jizz biscuit even elton wouldnt eat, gtfo off our interwebz.

I think he's just anxious to use that "Fail" pic. I agree with you.