Wierd Conversation Starters

[Squeezymo]

Like

And then she said, "but I'm only 8!"

or

So then I told her "that was the best sex I've ever had." Then I rolled her back in her coffin.

or

So then I said "What do you mean you're my sister!?!"



Try to get the wierdest one possible

[dannyd]

Those arent conversation starters more like weird things u say to ur friend when someone walks by so it sounds liek ur in the middle of a weird conversation

heres one of my favoritw

SO after that i started kicking my dog in the ribs and a few minutes later he was caughing up blood.

[Squeezymo]

Those arent conversation starters more like weird things u say to ur friend when someone walks by so it sounds liek ur in the middle of a weird conversation

heres one of my favoritw

SO after that i started kicking my dog in the ribs and a few minutes later he was caughing up blood.

Yeah, I guess that's what I meant. I usually use them as conversation starters...


"So in conclusion, I had to fuck the moose."

[Mattjam]

"So after the wild sex I gave her a treat, patted her head, and we fell asleep."

[Squeezymo]

And then I said to her, "What do you mean you want the leash shorter?"

[evil joe]

So there I was, standing there, covered in my grandfather's feces...

[dannyd]

So there I was, standing there, covered in my grandfather's feces...

ahahah Thats the best right there.

[Tazer]

Psh, I've seen the girls you've hooked up with, and they're just as bad as that Gorrilla that I fucked at the zoo the other night!

[Hankishin]

So i was sucking my older brother's weiner while fingering up my baby sister's poop chute, while my dog was licking my nuts cuz I drizziled it with honey.

[Mattjam]

"So I pretty much HAD to hit her in the mouth!"

[beardo]

my freinds and i once said this when we walked past someone on the sidewalk

"so do you think they will find the body there, or should we get rid of it later"

we got a weird look

[Osama Bin Laden]

so im in my room trying to stick a tampon up my ass when my mom walked in.

[slapnpopbass]

"so I'm balls deep in this guy's ass and he says, we should cuddle. I mean, how gay is that?"

This is a fun one. Q:"How much does a polar bear weigh?"

A: Enough to break the ice. Hi, I'm.....

[Trevi626]

"Jesus Christ Bob, how many fucking times do I have to tell you, I'm not going to tie your fucking shoes for you again."

[Squeezymo]

Hahahaa these are all great.

I'm going to pull this one when someone walks by as I'm talking on the phone:

"Yes, all the Jews. Yes. More than 6 million this time."

[Osama Bin Laden]

She was already dead so I thought rape wouldnt matter...

[YayGirMyStir]

This is a fun one. Q:"How much does a polar bear weigh?"

A: Enough to break the ice. Hi, I'm.....

Thats great! i used it last night with a girl worked like a charm.. anyone else got any more like this??

[dannyd]

and since that day I knew bestiality was wrong.

[Your_Mom]

Walk past someone, and say

" Wow having a threesome with you, and my dog, was the best"

[deadmeat]

So there I was, sitting in the corner with my legs splayed out in front of me, blood pouring from my nose. Both of the guards have their guns drawn on me and they are screaming for backup. The Ambassador is on the other side of the room laughing his ass off and all I can think is "Great...they're never going to let me come back to Portugal again."

[dannyd]

So there I was, sitting in the corner with my legs splayed out in front of me, blood pouring from my nose. Both of the guards have their guns drawn on me and they are screaming for backup. The Ambassador is on the other side of the room laughing his ass off and all I can think is "Great...they're never going to let me come back to Portugal again."

I actually got quite a laugh outta of that, I read it then am like this sucks then after a few secounds I just started laughing and realized how funny it actually was. Great first post man.

[Squeezymo]

So then I just figured "she's 92 years old, she won't remember a thing"

[IGneois]

Weird*

had to, it's thread title

[Total Madman]

"So I just did up my zipper and ran"

[Trevi626]

Just continue with your normal conversation, but when someone comes close, just randomly incorporate the word "penis" into the convo without it actually making any sense. Say it louder than all the other words. Try to mix words that start with the letter "p" with the word "penis".

For ex.: "Yes sir, I have those files you wanted me to PENIS! so I should be getting them to you as soon as penisible."

[brdispatch05]

If you're in a pet store
hold up three fingers, than compare that to a gerbil they let you hold, than look at whoever you with and say "That should fit"

[Devastation]

"So I've made a decision. I'm gonna stop taking my medicine. Homicidal tendencies be damned!"

[skater910]

Good one for a big city: He kept crying for his mother, so I kept beating him over the head over and over again and dumped his body about twenty yards back in that alleyway.

So she passed out while I was fucking her. I was pissed that I spent a hundred bucks just for her to fall asleep, so I stuck all ten inches in her ass. Needless to say, that hooker had a rude awakening.

[scott_man_25]

so the vietnamese cab driver, having realized that the irish prostitute actually was a man, jumped out from behind the pile of used tampons and screams "Turte Soup!"


To make a long story short, ferret assholes, along with a bit of cleanup, are far more pleasurable than the human kind.

[Squeezymo]

"So I've made a decision. I'm gonna stop taking my medicine. Homicidal tendencies be damned!"

Gary Larson ftw!!!