Scenes From a Hat

[Ænema]

If you've ever seen Who's Line Is it Anyway? then you'll know the skit "scenes from a hat." It's where he picks out random scenarios and they have to act them out.

For example: What not to do if you're confronted by a street gang

Then the person below would say

"Ok, tickle fight!" Terrible example, but you get the idea, and then the person would then post another scenario.

I'll start it off: Hard door to door jobs

[Your_Mom]

Free Breast exams

What not to say when your having sex?

[shane7x]

Wow your much better than your brother...

[SIKKENT]

my gran taught me that


things your boss should never hear...

[Failed@L1f3]

I f*cked your daughter


5 things you shouldnt do in a church

[Puppyonastick]

the five priests

things you wouldn't hear from a woman during orgasm

[evil joe]

Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth
on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and
dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing
whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so
dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-
field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of
that field as a final resting-place for those who here gave
their lives that this nation might live. It is altogether
fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate…we cannot
consecrate…we cannot hallow…this ground. The brave men,
living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it
far above our poor power to add or detract. The world
will little note nor long remember what we say here, but
it can never forget what they did here. It is for us, the
living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished
work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly
advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the
great task remaining before us…that from these honored
dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which
they gave the last full measure of devotion; that we here
highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain;
that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of
freedom; and that government of the people, by the people,
for the people, shall not perish from the earth.


What not to do/say at a funeral.

[Ænema]

I jacked off to necrophelia.

How you react to the back of evil joe's car.

[adwat]

you dont because this topic sucks

[Bullet]

Who?

Secrets you should never tell your friends.

[Ænema]

you dont because this topic sucks

Haha that would be a good reaction. Fucking prick

I screwed a prostitute.

Bad things to say to your girlfriends dad.

[Hankishin]

Sir, I see that she got her sweet lips from you.

Pick up lines that don't work:

[Your_Mom]

Can you please smell this chloroform?

[evil joe]

So I hear you nuns give great head...

Inappropriate internet jokes to say in a retirement home.

[Mattjam]

Looks like you're dying of a bad case of teh superaidz.

Worst time to fart.

[Your_Mom]

Looks like you're dying of a bad case of teh superaidz.

Worst time to fart.

When your having an anal stimulation

Worst time to say "I have aids"

[Y2k]

During sex.

Things not to do when stuck in an elevator with another person.

[owned4u]

beat one off


bad rapper names.

[Ænema]

Lil Lyncher

Bad thing to say while caddying during your members putt.

[Your_Mom]

Lil Lyncher

Bad thing to say while caddying during your members putt.

You know this would feel great up my ass

Worst time to pull a goatse?

[Puppyonastick]

in the middle of a wank session

reasons why Your_Mom is up EvilJoe's butt hole-e-o

[evil joe]

Warmth?

Things you shouldn't yell off the top of a mountain.

[DylerTurden]

I HAVE AIDS!!!!!!

Thing you should never do on a subway.

[Ænema]

Play hide and seek on the tracks.

Things never to do while sitting behind home plate on national TV.

[Tiny Iota]

*fap fap fap fap fap fap*

Good conversation starters for when meeting the pope.

[evil joe]

Excuse me, but would you perhaps hold this dead, decapitated baby fetus for me? ...Nigger.

Fun things to do in a church.

[pRoN jUnKy]

FUCK JESUS

*audience laughs*

People who shouldn't be rappers:

[cibc_yuri]

FUCK JESUS

*audience laughs*

People who shouldn't be rappers:

K-Fed

things not to say when your date takes her clothes off

[Puppyonastick]

Stop.
(Or if she's fat then its don't stop.)

Why my puppy is on a stick?

[Shaster]

K-Fed

things not to say when your date takes her clothes off

"haha mine is bigger!"

worst things to say when your alone with your mother-in-law.

[Hankishin]

"haha mine is bigger!"

worst things to say when your alone with your mother-in-law.

I have aids.

What not to do while taking a dump?

[Hankishin]

"haha mine is bigger!"

worst things to say when your alone with your mother-in-law.

Don't tell your daughter, but I have aids.

What not to do while taking a dump?

[Your_Mom]

in the middle of a wank session

reasons why Your_Mom is up EvilJoe's butt hole-e-o

It really is warm up there, plus i get milk daily


Eat it.

Worst time to masturbate?

[Robert Goulet]

It really is warm up there, plus i get milk daily


Eat it.

Worst time to masturbate?

And next on the Kindergarden graduation list is Little Johnny.

Rejected names for the Seventh Dwarf.

[IGneois]

And next on the Kindergarden graduation list is Little Johnny.

Rejected names for the Seventh Dwarf.

shorty


The absolute worse time to propose

[Your_Mom]

shorty


The absolute worse time to propose

When she is fucking another guy

Worst time to turn on pr0n?

[Robert Goulet]

When she is fucking another guy

Worst time to turn on pr0n?

"Father Michaels, you're under arrest for the rape of 6 children"
(hold on, i gotta rub one out first!)

Things that should have probably stayed out of a fight with your wife.

[Squeezymo]

The ice-pick

What not to say to a dog that understand english

[Joeybits]

Tomorrow you're getting neutered

Porn titles you know you dont want to fap too

[SIKKENT]

The Erotic Adventures of Lemmiwinks

most inappropriate moment to be caught with your pants down...

[rsnyper]

fucking a goat.

best time to masturbate

[Squeezymo]

job interview

worst time to masturbate

[Max Zorin]

When your mom walks in.

Worst time to cheat on your girlfriend

[Offcell]

When your mom walks in.

Worst time to cheat on your girlfriend

during a game of monopoly with her family.

worst time to apologize to someone.

[suzy]

hmmm hot discussion. gr8 experience man..

[R3isDangerous]

during a game of monopoly with her family.

worst time to apologize to someone.

when she finds out shes pregnant

worst time to have to piss

[pRoN jUnKy]

"You may now kiss the bride"

What animals do when you're not home

[R3isDangerous]

"PISS ON MY FUCKING CARPET MAN"-if you dont know the quote dont ask

worst time to relize your naked