Jokes

[kili]

THE BLONDE PAINTER

There is this blonde who is sick and tired of how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she wants to prove everyone wrong. She decides to paint their bedroom. The next day she starts off according to plan.
Her husband comes home after the days work and is surprised to smell
paint.
He goes into the bedroom room and finds his wife lying on the bed, sweating and very tired.
She is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He asks her if she is ok and what is she doing.

She replies that she wanted to prove to him that blonde women were not stupid and she wanted to do it by painting the bedroom and giving him a pleasant surprise...

He asks her why she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat in the heat.

She replies that she was following the directions on the paint can: "FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS"

[kili]

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin.
"What?" said the puzzled groom? "How can that be if you've been married ten times?

"Well, husband 1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband 3 was from Field Services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband 5 was an Engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband 6 was from Finance and Administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband 8 was a psychiatrist; all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband 9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

Husband 10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was ... God, I miss him!
But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the husband, "but, why?"
"Duh; you're a LAWYER. This time I KNOW I'm gonna get screwed

[suzy]

good one. try to post more like this . people will enjoy.