500 Video Game cliches

[poop100]

1.You have alot of powerful guns and yet you can't knock down a wooden door
2. For some reason all the facilities and biuldings are like one big path.
3.You have some dumber, weaker escort who constantly runs into enemies and gets them killed.
4. The out of place tutorials


you continue!

[GoGoGooManGo]

1. It's well into the 22nd century, on Mars yet you cant attach that damn flashlight to your weapon.
2. Your flashlight runs out of juice after 10 or 15 seconds.

[Liberator13]

7. Neither night vision nor infrared goggles exist in the future.
8. Silencers during WWII were just as quiet, some ever moreso, than our current generation's.
9. You can still shoot straight where your reticule is pointing even if you are taking bullets into your body at the same time.

[Mr.SelfDestruct]

10. <insert EA game here>
11. Random NPC: "Go on this ridiculous quest that involves finding several pieces of junk so you can create the only special item that can defeat a great random evil."
12. Characters with scars on their faces that are never explained. The scar is there to look cool.
13. Bad ass gun that crushes any game balance in multi-player FPS's. The BFG or Redeemer for example.

[CodyTheBowler]

here's the ULTIMATE one:

1. No matter who you are or where you're stranded, you always begin with the most basic weapon (pistol or knife) and are forced to work your way up to the BFG's, rocket launchers, rail guns, etc.

[zigamabob]

14. 20 shots into the chest won't kill you but 1 to the head always does the trick.
15. You can kill someone by shootin one limb repeadtly
16. Your pistol has infinite ammo.

[Mr.SelfDestruct]

17. Breakable objects have ammo and health in them.
18. Barrels explode when shot.
19. You can fire that gun a million times, and it will never misfire once.
20. Bosses hold the key to the locked door.
21. No matter where you are, everyone will look exactly like everyone else. The only exception is if they're in command, and have a name.

[Liberator13]

Bah, I always bitch about your #19, no misfires/jams. I think it would be kind of cool to see that. It would change gun balances and whatnot, if they are a somewhat realistic amount of misfires per gun model.

22. You will always play the even-keeled person, the others will have the crazy or extremely conservative personalities.

[Nick is cool]

22. While german sniper rifles are reloaded 1 bullet at a time, british ones you can just put a new clip in.

23. You will die if you get shot in the leg with a sniper rifle.

25. If the ball hits the recievers hands (ncaa08) he will not catch it.

26. It only takes 1 hit when you melee with a pistol to kill someone.

[zigamabob]

27. You don't have to physically pick up any weapons or ammo just run over them.
28. No matter what else is going on in the war, whatever you do changes the outcome.
29. Melee attacks from behind are instant kills.
30. The boss has the ability to take multiple rockets to the face without dieing.

[Mr.SelfDestruct]

31. Rag-doll physics. An enemy merely flinches from the high impact bullets, but flies across the room on the killing shot.
32. "Hey Bob, you heard about Joe?" "Yeah, some Ninja slaughtered him and twenty-seven other guys with some magical dragon form." "Yeah. Let's go get him!"
33. "A" button jumps, "B" button shoots.
34. Swords are always and will forever be superior to guns.
35. The protagonist can carry ten guns, two thousand rounds of ammunition, and jump five feet into the air. But he can't break down a wooden door.

[Nickster]

36. The main characters is always able to fire a gun better while jumping around and holding it sideways than the highly trained soldiers can while standing still.

37. The best fighter in the entire fucking world dosent have any scars and is inly 20 years old. (porbably more for Japanese games).

38. Even if the bad guy has killed thousands of women children and possibly dying puppies with aids in his power mad reign he always deserves a second chance.

39. The leader of a small forest town is always honest and consistantly thinks of his subjects, while the mayor of a large city is always a scheming asshole.

40. No matter how high the standards are for the kingdoms elite army are, there will always be more than one soldier who is the biggest retard in the game.

[IGneois]

41. Water levels always suck.
42. When shooting or throwing something very heavy, newtons first law does not apply.
43. Anything can die if you jump on it.

[poop100]

44. You can't jump over a 2 foot gap so you have to do a 2 mile journey just to go around it or something.
45. You can not climb ledges.
46. Enemies will always know where you are even when you are around a ledge or in the dark.

[Liberator13]

47. Enemies can hit you with a full-auto burst from 200 yards away, but you can't hit them with a short burst when they are 50 yards away.
48. Enemy snipers don't miss
49. Your sniper needs to go back to basic training to re-learn the basics of firearms.

[Xerosnake90]

#Soldiers are apparently trained to shoot not directly at you, but in the immediate area around you so you can stand a chance against 100s of soldiers.

#Fighters can withstand energy blasts strong enough to destroy a planet, but you punch them one too many times they die (DBZ)

#Pushing the same 5 buttons in different sequences apparently let you play hundreds of different guitar notes and chords (guitar hero)

#Watching the character play those same 5 buttons all over the fretboard and knowing the song isn't played anything like that in real life.

#When you drive at 100+ MPH only to hit a wall with a loud thud and a scratched bumper

#When you drive at 100+MPH only to hit a wall, shatter your car into millions of pieces, watch you be able to steer the car as you're blown up flying in the air, chose when you want to blow up, blow up a buddy of yours, only to stare at yourself wrecked for 3 seconds to be respawned perfectly ok with no obvious indications you just died along with a few other people who were wrecked in the mix of it all. (Burnout)

[IGneois]

57. although you own a flying creature that you ride around the world on...you can't use it to fly over a small ditch.

[LegendaryLink]

truely the ultimate one on this list....


58. Wooden crates.

[Life On Mars]

59. You can never pick up the enemies weapon or armor off their dead body, instead you pick up something they dropped that they weren't using.
60. For some reason, when you kill the merchant or shopkeeper all the items they said they had disappear.

[rerat]

60. Only the boldly coloured pots can be broken. Don't you fucking dare try to break those slightly paler pots.

[skater910]

61. Only less than 5% of buildings are actually used.

62. (Battlefield) Generals have the power to shoot people outside of the boundaries of the map, but don't have the power to shoot inside at their enemies.

63. (GTA) If you wait long enough or save, the police will forget all about your crimes.

64. Killing a few people deserves the same punishment as getting in a fender bender with a police officer.

[Junkman]

- Wood is sometimes destructable.
- Metal is never.
- If the barrel is red, it will explode.
- Anyone who joins your side instantly becomes useless and shitty, losing all their training.
- You have no feet.
- It's about a 50/50 chance that the mirror will shatter when shot.
- At all times when you're in the jungle you can hear animals.
- Fatalities are fucking cool.

[DarkTalon]

the hero can somehow go for days without taking a piss

[willsk84food.]

#Boss is always juiced up and looks like they can bench 4500 pounds.

#Invisible walls are comon in deserts, oceans, mountains, etc.

[Itsamadhouse12]

jumping on your enemies head instantly kills them

[clutch-monkey]

22. While german sniper rifles are reloaded 1 bullet at a time, british ones you can just put a new clip in.

isn't that simply being realistic though?

[willsk84food.]

isn't that simply being realistic though?

Shhh... he's slow(:dunce: )

[.: 69 :.]

# You are always the "Last Hope". No one else decided to man up and do something.

[rand0m]

#When you knock a person out, magical stars fly around their head.

#In FPS's you don't have a body or legs

[zigamabob]

80. When you go into prone you can slide around on your knees
81. When you die you can view yourself dieing from multiple angles
82. If a gun is painted gold it is more power than a rocket launcher
83. There is an unlimited supply of Russian soldiers in the facility
84. If you go into the bathroom and spin around on your knees you get sucked into a vent shaft.
85. Shooting someone in the leg makes them grab their arm.

[PsiRedEye22]

86. Most games have ABSOLUTELY NO NEED for our darker-skinned bretheren.

[Mr.Softee]

87. all motorvehicles are unlocked with a key in the ignition and a full tank of gas

[Dane]

88. The police cares about no one but you.
89. There are plenty of ammo crates and health kits spread out over the entire world.
90. No fat/unattractive girls exist.
91. A 19 year old 120 lbs chinese girl is able to lift and throw a 400 lbs wrestler.
92. Toilets in horror games are often a bad thing.

[Xerosnake90]

86. Most games have ABSOLUTELY NO NEED for our darker-skinned bretheren.

That's because if we have a negro in a video game, white people will be complaining about having to play as a black man. And not to mention that said negro will most likely act just like a thug nigga is usually viewed. Meaning for example, Grant theft Auto: San Andreas. He puts shame to black people, but in Vice City or 3 the white man gets no blame. Why? Because white people aren't stereotyped as people who rob or shoot people.

Thus, no black people in games because of the controversy.

[Sleek]

93. As you go to new areas, the wild monsters' levels will be higher.

[xeoset]

94) All animals can walk on two legs, kick the shit out of something four times their size and can all go on adventures for some kingdom.

[Daucus Karota]

Thus, no black people in games because of the controversy.

the main antagonist in Baldur's Gate is black

[OLIAX]

95. teabagging will always be funny

[duncdamonk]

96. Being able to kill the other opponent first means you use hacks.

[Nickster]

97. During a confrontation with a very powerful and unstable badguy, it is always best to act confrontational and offensive.

98. According to your teammates, you always have the enemy "on the run" even if you're outnumbered 10 to 1 and at quater health. (for WWII games mainly.)

99. A barrage of foot long wooden arrows will eventually be able to bring down a stone wall.

100. During an epic battle, the best tactic is to simply cavalry charge the enemy with wild abandon with the important leaders at the very front wearing less armour than any other soldier. Spears and pikes are just for show anyway.

[doorknobopener]

101. You can only kill the final boss when he's in his "Unbeatable" form

[Thomson]

#Soldiers are apparently trained to shoot not directly at you, but in the immediate area around you so you can stand a chance against 100s of soldiers.

#Fighters can withstand energy blasts strong enough to destroy a planet, but you punch them one too many times they die (DBZ)

#Pushing the same 5 buttons in different sequences apparently let you play hundreds of different guitar notes and chords (guitar hero)

#Watching the character play those same 5 buttons all over the fretboard and knowing the song isn't played anything like that in real life.

#When you drive at 100+ MPH only to hit a wall with a loud thud and a scratched bumper

#When you drive at 100+MPH only to hit a wall, shatter your car into millions of pieces, watch you be able to steer the car as you're blown up flying in the air, chose when you want to blow up, blow up a buddy of yours, only to stare at yourself wrecked for 3 seconds to be respawned perfectly ok with no obvious indications you just died along with a few other people who were wrecked in the mix of it all. (Burnout)

its not a fucking game niche if it only happens in one game.

[temp100]

Here's (http://atrocities.primaryerror.net/rpgcliches.html) a whole page of RPG cliches.

[GoGoGooManGo]

102. The police never run out of cars or officers or helicopters or interest.

[clutch-monkey]

103. all human characters are the same height.

[MidgetHunter]

-getting shot in the toe with a sniper rifle will take half your health, if not kill you
-having a sword/gun/being a 400 lb cyborg is legal in a tourament, as it will not give you an advantage over an unarmed 15 year old asian girl
-sheet metal can stop a 7.62 mm
-a boss can take between 25 and 4000 shots to the face
-shotgun can't kill anything farther than 5 ft away
-shotgun can kill anything at 200 ft
-getting punched in the leg is the same as getting punched in the face

[Edgecrusher]

after being shot, you may still run just as fast AND
taking cover for apx. 7 seconds makes it all okay...

[Xerosnake90]

its not a fucking game niche if it only happens in one game.

The examples are key games this happens in, most of those have happened in more than one =] Except for the GH one. Fucker.

[IGneois]

Thanks for keeping the numbers guys

112. any movie-made game will suck.
113. any game-made movie will be corny yet awesome.
114. Japanese ports will be poorly translated.
115. You can interact with the highlighted.

[refoops]

Well if you all hate games so much stop playing them.

[IGneois]

Well if you all hate games so much stop playing them.


who you talking to

[Spike Lee]

who you talking to

Apparently he doesn't get the point of complaints. He is gung ho love it or leave it.

[Nickster]

116. The ancient mystical sword is always made of and needs to be fixed with a rare substance that is only found on the other side of the world. No one has the common fucking sense to keep some handy.

117. When the player is sniping, he is never spotted by an enemy and never needs to move.

118. Vehicles never need to refeul. And mounted weapons never need to reload.

119. Weapons either never overheat or do it so often that it becomes a complete pain in the ass.

120. The asian character never shuts the fuck up about honor and far eastern wisdom. A exception is Yoshimo from Baldurs Gate 2, who just plain never shuts the fuck up.

121.a. Nazis can all speak perfect English, and always converse with teammates in English.

121.b. In WWII games there are never any Italian soldiers, everyone in the Western Axis is a Nazi/

122. Bullets make holes in everything except the person you're shooting.

123. The biggest guy on your team is normally one of the biggest whiners.

Thats it, I'm all out of ideas.

[Xerosnake90]

124. Enemies you see from the beginning till the end of the game tend to get stronger for some reason as time goes on, or just change color to attribute to the strength gain (mainly Final fantasy)

125. You can't jump over holes, onto crates, or go under things unless and icon pops up telling you to do it. Otherwise, you simply can't.

126. Few animals exist in the world, and if you do see them, chances are they're mutated.

[kevinsmith]

127) Getting stabbed with a sword is never fatal as long as you have enough energy in your health meter.

[anobody]

60. Only the boldly coloured pots can be broken. Don't you fucking dare try to break those slightly paler pots.

That is so trueee! I've also noticed that in cartoons and I can predict what's going to happen here and there.

[TheScarecrow]

128. Some features in single player are disabled online...

[willsk84food.]

129. (halo games) shooting someone with a full clip of a rifle doesnt kill someone but punching them with a pistol does

[skater910]

130. Children don't exist unless you are one.

[poopchow]

131. You arent allowed to hop down 3 feet because of those pesky invisible walls, you are forced to walk around...everything

[Bouthiette]

-Any foreign charather will speak perfect english but with an accent
-Bodies disapear
-You can "whisper" to someone even tough hes on another fucking continent
-Pits of red are bad
-A handfull of sand takes as much place a a horse

[xXSpawnXx]

- You beat the first game all powered up with everything learned, earned, weapons obtained, and stats maxed out. But with the same character, in the sequel they start out weak as hell!

[Total Madman]

- You can save the universe without ever having to go to the bathroom.

[IGneois]

someone else can fix the numbers


-food heals...everything

[Coolstuff4free]

140- you can always come back to life in a multiplayer game by getting an injection or being told "you're OK"
141- Every fucking soldier in WWII came in on June 6th, 1944, even if previously fighting Rommel, Tojo, and the Nazi Eastern front.
142- You always come back to life unless the times you have died out numbers the amount of green mushrooms/health packs/ pictures of your face you have collected.
143- no matter where you go, the enemies always have ammo for your gun.
144- If you have a narrator/buddy on the radio, he will be used to give information the animators were to lazy to put in.
145- you fucking blue fairy can tell you the weak points of everybody BUT the guy you've been trained to kill.
146- If there is a princess, she's been/is/going to be kidnapped/killed/some wierd god in human form/ able to kick ass and escape from prison to help you in alterego but still needs to be rescued.
147- all games took a terrible translation job from japan and were to lazy to fix it. "Game Over" is one of the most gramatically incorrect phrases in games. It's like saying "Squirells Fuzzy" to describe how you feel about them.
148- cars smoke, catch on fire, then explode UNLESS hit by a rocket or shot in the tank.
149- if you cannot see the bottom of a hole, there is not one.
150- the fact that you mercilessly kill thousands of people doesn't affect the fact that you can rent a room at ANY inn.

[philcoolguy]

151. Even if you're a centimeter away from dying, you can still run around and shoot just as well as when you were prefectly healthy.

152. Can't jump over that 3 1/2 foot stone wall? Tough shit. Find a way around. You're not so badass that you could just climb over the damn thing.

153. Can't get through that crack in the wall that's oh-so-slightly too small for you to just walk through? Tough shit. Find a way around. You're not so badass that you can just turn sideways and shimmy through.

154. Falling off of large drops just makes you overall less healthy. Ignore those fractured legs and keep running as fast as ever, boy.

155. You're always tougher and can take more bullets than any enemy. Unless that enemy has his own cut-scene.

156. When swimming, you don't just run out of air, pass out and drown, you slowly lose health. Surfacing and breathing makes you all better! Hell, sometimes it may even get rid of all the damage you've taken so far.

[ChocoChipCamo]

157: Collecting ordinary coins restore your health, allowing you to continue stomping on walking mushrooms, rescuing less-than-deserving princesses, and saving the world, thus proving that money is indeed the source of all happiness.

158: You will never die as long as you hold onto that one golden ring, (unless you fall into a bottomless pit, of course). Furthermore, holding onto 50 rings and 7 rocks may not transform you into a golden-haired super-being, but it's worth a try.

159: Killing things makes you stronger! You'll need to work your way from ants and snails before you can start killing people, however.

[Dane]

160: Animals such as wolfes, bears and lions do not need to be provoked. They will attack you on sight and fight to the death.
161: Black people always have that ghetto attitude.

[Bass Noe]

162. Woman always have Double D breasts.

[Ado]

163. The first creature you'll fight is an oversized rat or bug

164. All animals carry gold inside of them

165. You can play a game for 100 hours and then see a video of a guy doing an 8 minute speedrun

166. Everyone wants your death

[Xerosnake90]

167. Getting farther into the game usually just involves finding someone who'll give you a key to a locked door.

168. It takes longer to die trying than it does trying not to die.

169. The game always ends after beating a huge boss character, instead of killing one and having to fight off soldiers you've been killing the whole game to win.

[IGneois]

170. Rock Candy is the ultimate item

[Orakar]

171. All Axis soldiers are German

172. Bad guys ALWAYS get what's coming to them, if not, there's going to be a sequel where they do

173. Why wear helmets?! Anyone wearing a helmet dies. Anyone with a face lives longer

174. Everyone is so addicted to their profession that it's ALL they do. Scientists are always wearing their white coats and working on something.

175. Everyone you fight against is always MASSIVELY arrogant that they will definitely win. Then they lose. No-one is ever reserved/cautious.

176. Hot women never die.

177. There's always a shitty noob character that is your younger brother or something, and you've been forced to allow him to tag along. He/she gets you into more trouble, does nothing useful, but is NEVER harmed. Whenever they are in harm, you must save them. They usually end up dealing some ownage at the end, even though they suck.

178. Everything you do changes the outcome for everyone. In war games, even though you only play a noob, you are the best noob there is. You can freely run out of cover, and take down 10-15 bad guys in one go. Just like real American soldiers =]

179. Good scientists are always right. Bad scientists always make a fatal error that leads to the demise of everyone.

180. One man can take down a robot that was created for world domination, by using a rocket launcher that he randomly found.

181. You always have the tools to beat the enemy. If there's a tank, it'll just so happen there's a rocket launcher right there.

182. You, or the team of people you are a part of, are humanities last hope. The bad guys never expect you

183. Medikits heal EVERYTHING. Shot in the face? Medikit. Chainsaw injury? Medikit. Explosion damage? Medikit. Though we never see evidance of these medikits being used, they are applied instantaneously, and leave no bandages/residue. No matter how many times you are injured, a medikit will invisibly and instantly heal whatever you have, leaving you in a perfect condition.

184. Main characters never get messy. Who cares if you just fell into a pile of shit, ran threw a sewers, swam the Atlantic ocean, and got swallowed by a whale. Chicks still love you, and you don't have even a speck of dust on you, or a single hair out of place.

[NiNJaCYaNiDe]

185: Link can't fucking jump unless he runs off a cliff...or rolls over a small hole.

[Dane]

186: In the future its decided that the best armor to wear in combat is giant metal shoulder plates, guns that takes the place of a hand and metal plates injected into the skin while places such as the stomach is left completely naked to show off that good six pack.

[rand0m]

- Whenever you get briefed you leave your body and float around the room