I want to go to prison.

[Simbiosis]

Well, I was reading this book in which a former convict said that prison is like "gladiator school", meaning that it teaches you to be a man and will make you hardened and experienced when you get out. I started thinking and realized that prison would really be perfect for me right now, and I could get a better life education from it than any school or college.

I'm looking to become mentally stronger and exposed to the hard side of life, and what better place for this than in prison? Also, I've heard women are often impressed by guys who have done time. They always say that a good man in bed makes love like he "just got out of prison". I know my sex life will basically be non-existant in prison, and I'm not planning on turning gay, but I'm not popular with girls right now anyway and I know if I do a few years in the slammer I will appreciate women more when I get out and hopefully get laid.

Right now I'm fresh out of high school and I really just want a place that will provide free shelter, food, and life experience, until I can go out and take care of myself on my own. I've already started preparing by doing jiu jitsu classes and pumping iron at the gym.

I guess my main question is what crime should I commit? I need to do something that will only get me locked up for a few years, but will also gain me a bit of respect from other prisoners. I was thinking about burglary. But I also need to get caught in a way that isn't obvious and embarassing.

[Cranberry Nectar]

Do drugs man.

Great post too.

[Rapex]

I'm looking to become mentally stronger and exposed to the hard side of life, and what better place for this than in prison? Also, I've heard women are often impressed by guys who have done time. They always say that a good man in bed makes love like he "just got out of prison". I know my sex life will basically be non-existant in prison, and I'm not planning on turning gay, but I'm not popular with girls right now anyway and I know if I do a few years in the slammer I will appreciate women more when I get out and hopefully get laid.

You have no idea how wrong you are.

I guess my main question is what crime should I commit? I need to do something that will only get me locked up for a few years, but will also gain me a bit of respect from other prisoners. I was thinking about burglary. But I also need to get caught in a way that isn't obvious and embarassing.

Post child pornography in the pictures section. Chris Hansen will be on your ass faster than a cat on catnip.

[strikeandburn]

Before you go to prison, Drive Drunk and go to jail first. If you can handle that, Then go to prison. (just don't hit anybody, take down mailboxes)

[cupOjoe]

Well, I was reading this book in which a former convict said that prison is like "gladiator school", meaning that it teaches you to be a man and will make you hardened and experienced when you get out.

Yeah, ex-cons are such winnners

[Weddingsinger]

Well whatever you do don't forget the Piña Colada butt-lotion because you will definately need it.

[Cranberry Nectar]

Yeah, ex-cons are such winnners

Yeah? Ex-cons know how to butt-fuck well so you better watch out. If you act like you just did there you will have your face in the dirt while a large cock is jammed into your ass. It's your choice. Either take the big penis right up your so savoured cheeks or become a man and stop busting on prison people. Because when the gates open and they are let loose it's your ass not mine that is on the line. Don't expect the goverment to protect you all the time.

[mtspace]

Yeah? Ex-cons know how to butt-fuck well so you better watch out. If you act like you just did there you will have your face in the dirt while a large cock is jammed into your ass. It's your choice. Either take the big penis right up your so savoured cheeks or become a man and stop busting on prison people. Because when the gates open and they are let loose it's your ass not mine that is on the line. Don't expect the goverment to protect you all the time.

SHUT THE FUCK UUUUPPPPPPP!!!!!!!

[Cranberry Nectar]

SHUT THE FUCK UUUUPPPPPPP!!!!!!!

It's true. There will be huge ass rapings and your ass wil be all opened up wide for all of us to see. So stop SHOUTING because your ass will be known without a word from you.

[mtspace]

It's true. There will be huge ass rapings and your ass wil be all opened up wide for all of us to see. So stop SHOUTING because your ass will be known without a word from you.

I don't know where your from, but over here people don't turn into ass rapers just cause they go to prison.

So take your gay fantasies somewhere else.

[chalupa]

Well, I was reading this book in which a former convict said that prison is like "gladiator school", meaning that it teaches you to be a man and will make you hardened and experienced when you get out. I started thinking and realized that prison would really be perfect for me right now, and I could get a better life education from it than any school or college.

I'm looking to become mentally stronger and exposed to the hard side of life, and what better place for this than in prison? Also, I've heard women are often impressed by guys who have done time. They always say that a good man in bed makes love like he "just got out of prison". I know my sex life will basically be non-existant in prison, and I'm not planning on turning gay, but I'm not popular with girls right now anyway and I know if I do a few years in the slammer I will appreciate women more when I get out and hopefully get laid.

Right now I'm fresh out of high school and I really just want a place that will provide free shelter, food, and life experience, until I can go out and take care of myself on my own. I've already started preparing by doing jiu jitsu classes and pumping iron at the gym.

I guess my main question is what crime should I commit? I need to do something that will only get me locked up for a few years, but will also gain me a bit of respect from other prisoners. I was thinking about burglary. But I also need to get caught in a way that isn't obvious and embarassing.

Hell, I like you. You can come over my house and fuck my sister.

[Cranberry Nectar]

I don't know where your from, but over here people don't turn into ass rapers just cause they go to prison.

So take your gay fantasies somewhere else.

Ok have it your way Mr. BurgerKing: In prison, nobody thinks about popping a peter up an ass when the soap drops. Never! There are no women around and every man just strokes it hard until they come and goes to bed while some loser washes the sheets. That hardened man has no women but yet he restraines himself so he doesn't bang a guy up the ass.

This is a total lie. Men fuck one another all day long in prison because there is no pussy. If you think different go there and show a pic of your brownhole when you cum out whore.

later

[Hellgoddess]

Thread title should be "I want to get my ass gaped in prison".

[mtspace]

Ok have it your way Mr. BurgerKing: In prison, nobody thinks about popping a peter up an ass when the soap drops. Never! There are no women around and every man just strokes it hard until they come and goes to bed while some loser washes the sheets. That hardened man has no women but yet he restraines himself so he doesn't bang a guy up the ass.

This is a total lie. Men fuck one another all day long in prison because there is no pussy. If you think different go there and show a pic of your brownhole when you cum out whore.

later

Like i said, take your gay fantasies somewhere else.

[Cranberry Nectar]

Like i said, take your gay fantasies somewhere else.

Your fantasies are right where you want to be; In a post with me:)

[Squeezymo]

I think in preparation for prison you're going to come across a good oppurtunity and a girl. Like you'll meet a girl in the gym where you're pumping iron, and you start going out with her and having sex with her. Then you will think "i don't want to go to prison yet. not if I have this girl. But I need money. And I'm going to need to be really buff." So then you apply at the gym so you can work out and get paid for it. And eventually you're going to be happy, and look back on it and realize "wow. was I really going to do that? and you'll feel like an idiot." Because chances are, if you can't make it in real life as it is, going to prison isn't going to help you. You can't get certain jobs then and all that jazz. Plus girls don't actually want a guy that went to prison, they want a guy that did all the stuff to go to prison, but wasn't stupid enough to get caught.

Just join the army. Then at least you get paid to be there and it looks good on your record. All the pros you think you'll get from prison, without the con of not having muscle control over your flappy rectum.

[break3r]

Dont you know that people that goto Prison cant live a normal life afterwards? They have problems adapting to normal life and usually end up back in Prison. You should rethink your thoughts.

[Cranberry Nectar]

Dont you know that people that goto Prison cant live a normal life afterwards? They have problems adapting to normal life and usually end up back in Prison. You should rethink your thoughts.

Most men there get used to sticking it up open assholes. Maybe they see last night's lunch in that ass, I don't know.

[mtspace]

Most men there get used to sticking it up open assholes. Maybe they see last night's lunch in that ass, I don't know.

I think thats just you.

[Hellgoddess]

Most men there get used to sticking it up open assholes. Maybe they see last night's lunch in that ass, I don't know.

Shut up and go hit a gay bar, so much homosexual tension needs to be relived from your person.

[Cranberry Nectar]

Shut up and go hit a gay bar, so much homosexual tension needs to be relived from your person.

And how would you know the release? Do you suck dicks?

[Zipster]

Most men there get used to sticking it up open assholes. Maybe they see last night's lunch in that ass, I don't know.

Really, what is it with you and the homosexual comments??? I've posted in a few threads that you have too and each time your posts end up becoming gay in nature.

[Cranberry Nectar]

I think thats just you.

You think wrong. *GOD*, I wish I was your banker.

[Acidic Piss]

Shut up and go hit a gay bar, so much homosexual tension needs to be relived from your person.

QFT

If you really want to go do somthing like theift so you can get somthing
out of it before you get caught and it won't look to bad if you get a Background check

[FonsecaWalls]

harden up in jail? buddy the only thing that is going to harden up is your anus after numerous occasions involving penetration. You'll come out with a criminal record, no one will want to hire you, and you will find just being nice to a girl and telling her she's beautiful is 100x more effective than saying "yeah I robbed that place, did 3 years man!". This idea is just stupid and I know it's not even serious, well w/e, best of luck!

[Cranberry Nectar]

QFT

If you really want to go do somthing like theift so you can get somthing
out of it before you get caught and it won't look to bad if you get a Background check

The only background check I've ever seen is to you your ass cheeks.

harden up in jail? buddy the only thing that is going to harden up is your anus after numerous occasions involving penetration. You'll come out with a criminal record, no one will want to hire you, and you will find just being nice to a girl and telling her she's beautiful is 100x more effective than saying "yeah I robbed that place, did 3 years man!". This idea is just stupid and I know it's not even serious, well w/e, best of luck!

I guess in Poland the government didn't tell them that there was plenty of gay ass whores in prison waitng for ass?? I dunno

[Daucus Karota]

I would easy become the leader of The Aryan Brotherhood!

[cupOjoe]

Yeah? Ex-cons know how to butt-fuck well so you better watch out. If you act like you just did there you will have your face in the dirt while a large cock is jammed into your ass. It's your choice. Either take the big penis right up your so savoured cheeks or become a man and stop busting on prison people. Because when the gates open and they are let loose it's your ass not mine that is on the line. Don't expect the goverment to protect you all the time.

Eew.Don't talk about my "so savoured cheeks" man.Take a cold shower.

[Cranberry Nectar]

Eew.Don't talk about my "so savoured cheeks" man.Take a cold shower.
..only if it's with you I am sure he would say..

[chalupa]

The only background check I've ever seen is to you your ass cheeks.

Erm...what? That isn't even a sentence.

[Cranberry Nectar]

Erm...what? That isn't even a sentence.

It's about the size of your cheeks though isn't it?

[beardo]

join the army...you will get alot of those same life lessons

[Total Madman]

This is the most insane thread I've ever seen on ebaums. Who the hell wants to get raped?

[Chris_mc11]

This is the most insane thread I've ever seen on ebaums. Who the hell wants to get raped?


The question then should be asked - is it really rape if he wants it?

[Cranberry Nectar]

This is the most insane thread I've ever seen on ebaums. Who the hell wants to get raped?

Everyone on Englad has never been assfucked? That's nuts. Most americans have had a good ass fuckin' but you jackasses have no clue.

You want more? Come to my site. I shit bricks and sperm in bricks then whores lick if off.

[haun]

Join the Marines. that will toughen the shit out of you. fuck prison.

[Cranberry Nectar]

yeah but some of these are from ireanland where the girls run round with clloths on thier noses.

Join the Marines. that will toughen the shit out of you. fuck prison.

You think that your face is a basic value of ebaumsworld but you have yet to fin your DICK

[OleMissRbl]

If you want to be a hard ass join the marines dumbass.

[Cranberry Nectar]

If you want to be a hard ass join the marines dumbass.

Are there a huge amount of gays there?

[Forev]

:lol: Zedxer, make a new video you cunt.

[haun]

You think that your face is a basic value of ebaumsworld but you have yet to fin your DICK

what are you talking about?

[Tilhas]

Join the army for a couple year or somthing man, not prison..

You'll be more respected to people saying you joined the army for a few years instead of going to jail..

I know where your coming from mate about toughning up and stuff, i had the same though last year and was thinking of joining the army for a year a two, think that would work better :)

Good luck in whatever you do.

Why hasn't zedexer been banned yet? Fucking moron gtfo

[Cranberry Nectar]

:lol: Zedxer, make a new video you cunt.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4f6g25Yv34I

here u go asshole

[Mahalo]

As has been said, join the military instead. You'll be rewarded for killing people.

[chalupa]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4f6g25Yv34I

here u go asshole

I'll have whatever he had.

[Cranberry Nectar]

I'll have whatever he had.

What i have is in my fridge. I ll get you one as soon as I get myself one. Don't get your hopes high thought.

[Daucus Karota]

lol Zedxer you look like a Nazi Propeganda caricature of a jew!

[Cranberry Nectar]

lol Zedxer you look like a Nazi Propeganda caricature of a jew!

I don't know what you are talkin' bout. But it's funny I guess;)

[BattleShip Ron]

I'm looking to become mentally stronger and exposed to the hard side of life, and what better place for this than in prison?

It's true.

You become what you fear.

Hope this helps.

[Mojocaster]

Right now I'm fresh out of high school and I really just want a place that will provide free shelter, food, and life experience, until I can go out and take care of myself on my own. I've already started preparing by doing jiu jitsu classes and pumping iron at the gym.

I once told eBaums about my plans to live the rest of my life in a mental health facility and I then asked them how to get in for good, never got a real response though because everyone here is an idiot.

I can see you are having a similar problem, from one intellectual to another I wish you the best of luck.

[Cranberry Nectar]

It's true.

You become what you fear.

Hope this helps.

can we all say you fear a big dick up your ass? becaause i would be willing to stick it up your asshole.

thx

[BattleShip Ron]

can we all say you fear a big dick up your ass? becaause i would be willing to stick it up your asshole.

thx

Did I hit a soft spot, Snowshoes?

[Cranberry Nectar]

Did I hit a soft spot, Snowshoes?

No. I am telling you that you need to bend over and take it.

[mtspace]

Prisons are full of failed criminals....true story.

[Cranberry Nectar]

Prisons are full of failed criminals....true story.

TAxi cabs? I once knew a cabi that sucks lots of cock but let me into another space drunk.

[FonsecaWalls]

zedxer you're really pissing me off now, your reponses to people never make fucking sense, and that's just down right disrespectful yo

[Cranberry Nectar]

zedxer you're really pissing me off now, your reponses to people never make fucking sense, and that's just down right disrespectful yo

If you say "yo" one more time I will rub m dick on your water.

[BattleShip Ron]

No. I am telling you that you need to bend over and take it.

Actually, I think you're telling me you're afraid of women.

[FonsecaWalls]

If you say "yo" one more time I will rub m dick on your water.
wow really nice comeback you little fag, fuck your 2005 join date, you're one of the biggest noobs I've ever seen here, fuck off

[Cranberry Nectar]

wow really nice comeback you little fag, fuck your 2005 join date, you're one of the biggest noobs I've ever seen here, fuck off

IS there a bigger cock to suck than a 2005 ccck? Take it deep whore...

[Elephant]

http://right-thoughts.us/images/uploads/tattoo.jpg

get that tattoo first OP.

[Cranberry Nectar]

I think you have soft spots, like on your penis.

[Timebomb]

zedxer, shut the fuck up.

[BattleShip Ron]

zedxer, shut the fuck up.

Spanked! (http://img196.imageshack.us/img196/3213/spanking5to.jpg) :lmao:

[Elephant]

zedxer, shut the fuck up.

i knew that was coming, took longer then i expected though. Hell, you were probably lawling at the stupidity of his posts too hard.

[Skizla]

Haha this thread gave me an idea. What if we passed a federal law that said that any child who does not pass high school is forced to join the army? We would be a country of unstoppable badasses.

[refoops]

Haha this thread gave me an idea. What if we passed a federal law that said that any child who does not pass high school is forced to join the army? We would be a country of unstoppable badasses.

That is CONCENTRATED GENIUS

[halloo]

are kids these days really that retarded? want to go to jail? to become a man :confuzed: ./.. and what after you get out of jail? no one is gonna hire you, only workplaces where you'll work a shitload of hours and get money that will barely support you, you would not be able to support a family and have a good life. (car, comp, tv etc...)

wanna become a man? get a post-secondary/ go the army.


PS: have you considered suicide?

[DazednConfused]

I've thought about this too. In my case I wanted to walk into my local police station with my pockets full of drugs and light up joint while engaging an officer in polite conversation. Civil disobedience can work wonders. If you want to go to go to prison, make sure that it is more something that should not actually be a crime. You'll get the experience, while sending a message to the world that you can see beyond the narrow view of human life that this nanny state wants everyone to fit within.

[Daucus Karota]

the world is so pussifed that you cant even kill your enemies anymore!:(

[Bubabeechuma]

join the army man... it is a better alternative to prison... prison would suck.... think about life man you seem like your in a tough spot.... it'll get better

[DazednConfused]

join the army man... it is a better alternative to prison... prison would suck.... think about life man you seem like your in a tough spot.... it'll get betterMaybe prison will help him. I agree that he should think deeply about this before making such a big choice but none of us know him well enough to say. The army might get him killed though and will make him into a pawn for the government. The worst prison is likely to get him, if he's smart, is fucked .

[Bubabeechuma]

Maybe prison will help him. I agree that he should think deeply about this before making such a big choice but none of us know him well enough to say. The army might get him killed though and will make him into a pawn for the government. The worst prison is likely to get him, if he's smart, is fucked .

Yeah I don't know anything about prison except second hand stories, so I can't say anything.. seems like it'd be pretty easy to get killed in there by guys who have nothing to loose. Especially going in there with the "I took jiujitsu and workout" attitude. I read your first reply though and I liked what you had to say.

[viepr149]

Well, I was reading this book in which a former convict said that prison is like "gladiator school", meaning that it teaches you to be a man and will make you hardened and experienced when you get out. I started thinking and realized that prison would really be perfect for me right now, and I could get a better life education from it than any school or college.

I'm looking to become mentally stronger and exposed to the hard side of life, and what better place for this than in prison? Also, I've heard women are often impressed by guys who have done time. They always say that a good man in bed makes love like he "just got out of prison". I know my sex life will basically be non-existant in prison, and I'm not planning on turning gay, but I'm not popular with girls right now anyway and I know if I do a few years in the slammer I will appreciate women more when I get out and hopefully get laid.

Right now I'm fresh out of high school and I really just want a place that will provide free shelter, food, and life experience, until I can go out and take care of myself on my own. I've already started preparing by doing jiu jitsu classes and pumping iron at the gym.

I guess my main question is what crime should I commit? I need to do something that will only get me locked up for a few years, but will also gain me a bit of respect from other prisoners. I was thinking about burglary. But I also need to get caught in a way that isn't obvious and embarassing.

stupidest shit i've ever heard. Just by this post it sounds like your soft. And your telling me you want to go to prison so you become hard. Listen to me if you to prison your only degrading yourself. The only type of women who find that attractive are women on the same level, most intelligent girls will find that to be a turnoff. The only reason why prison makes a guy fuck better is because he was deprived of it for so many years. The fact of the matter is, if you don't know how to fuck a women right then prison won't make a difference.

If anything i would recommend going to the army, the train you like a mother fucker, great discipline, and a lot of benefits, and if you live in the states, hopefully your new president won't wage a random war.

But going to prison is the equivalent to walking into a jungle IMO.

[PabloHoney]

Haha this thread gave me an idea. What if we passed a federal law that said that any child who does not pass high school is forced to join the army? We would be a country of unstoppable badasses.

or a bunch of fucktards who shoot themselves in the foot.

[DazednConfused]

But going to prison is the equivalent to walking into a jungle IMO. Funny you say that. I've learned a lot from walking around in the woods alone, day and night. Maybe he should do that.

As for me, I kind of want to walk across America.

[Simbiosis]

are kids these days really that retarded? want to go to jail? to become a man :confuzed: ./.. and what after you get out of jail? no one is gonna hire you, only workplaces where you'll work a shitload of hours and get money that will barely support you, you would not be able to support a family and have a good life. (car, comp, tv etc...)

wanna become a man? get a post-secondary/ go the army.


PS: have you considered suicide?

Well, the thing is that during Army training you can easily quit or fail your courses. I'm afraid I don't have the dedication or discipline and I'll end up failing. In prison you CAN'T quit.

As for getting a job, they say the best skill you learn in prison is how to become a better criminal. I think I could learn some stuff in prison and possibly become a full time criminal when I get out, maybe rob people, sell some drugs. I might even become a gang member, then I'll get even more respect and the ladies will be all over me.

[Zipster]

or a bunch of fucktards who shoot themselves in the foot.

He's got a point there. I wouldn't trust some of those high school kids with a loaded weapon. But then again, better them over there (wherever the next random war is) causing chaos than over here... I know, that was horrible.

[TakeAdvntgeOfMe]

Im not reading 6 pages of this, but heres me idea...

If you WANT to go to prison anyways, why not rob a place and see if you can get away with it?

[Plaguis95]

There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."

anyway, u probly shouldnt do crime

[kingofallmedia]

go undercover as a rat for the fbi, being a rat has only good to come of it