Misha2kx
02-07-2008, 09:32 AM
One day a guy was sitting on a bench in the park playing chess with his dog.
A girl approaches them and exclaims:
- Oh my God, what a smart dog you have, he even knows how to play chess !!
The guy replies:
- My ass he knows, I'm already leading 3-1 !!
*************
In one day, In Portugal, it takes place a contest to decide who is the guy that can see the farthest on the planet.
1st competitor , a russian guy. He goes to the highest place and starts looking East. And he looks , and he looks , and he exclaimes :
- Oh my God ! Right now , in Kremlin, 2 Janitors are having sex with each other in the president's room !!
Immediately satelites focalizes on Kremlin , the russian police rushes in , and the caught the couple in the middle of the act !
The russian guy receives praises , everyone is almost sure he is going to win !
2nd competitor , an american. He goes to the same point and he looks East, and he looks, and he looks, and he exclaimes:
- Oh my god! Right now , on the top of Sears Tower, a terrorist is planting a bomb !!!
Immediately, the satelites focalizes on Sears tower, CIA rushes in , and get the terrorist before he arms the explosive !
The american receives praises, a medal from Bush, and everyone is sure he is going to win !
3rd competitor, a gypsy. He goes to the same place and he looks South, and he looks, and he looks , and he exclaimes:
- Holy SHIT ! what a hairy back I have !!!
****
In a Western bar, was a relaxed atmosphere and everyone was minding his own business.
Suddenly a guy covered in blood enters the door, with 3 bullet holes in him and 2 arrows in the back yelling: " Guys take cover !!! Joe the KILLER is comming !!!" And he dies.
Everyone panicks , they cower under the tables shivering and pissing on them in fear !
5 minutes later another guy enters the bar: cold merciless eyes, lether -jacked covered with human skin, one hand on an ivory gun, iron plated boots .
He walks to the middle of the room in a deadly silence, looking to see any living soul. Everyone tries to make themselves smaller , shitting on them under the tables.
Finally he sees one one cowboy under one table and yells at him: " YOU THERE !!!" Stand the fuck up !"
The poor soul stands up, convinced that he is breathing his last.
"Come here, NOW !!!! " the newcommer yells. The cow-boy approaches, with his feet numbing...
"NOW suck my cock ! " The cowboys falls to his knees, thinking that hummiliation is better than certain death , pulls down the newcommer's pants and slowly starts sucking his cock.
"Faster please" , says the newcommer, " didn't you heard, fucking JOE the KILLER is comming !!!! "
*****
A girl approaches them and exclaims:
- Oh my God, what a smart dog you have, he even knows how to play chess !!
The guy replies:
- My ass he knows, I'm already leading 3-1 !!
*************
In one day, In Portugal, it takes place a contest to decide who is the guy that can see the farthest on the planet.
1st competitor , a russian guy. He goes to the highest place and starts looking East. And he looks , and he looks , and he exclaimes :
- Oh my God ! Right now , in Kremlin, 2 Janitors are having sex with each other in the president's room !!
Immediately satelites focalizes on Kremlin , the russian police rushes in , and the caught the couple in the middle of the act !
The russian guy receives praises , everyone is almost sure he is going to win !
2nd competitor , an american. He goes to the same point and he looks East, and he looks, and he looks, and he exclaimes:
- Oh my god! Right now , on the top of Sears Tower, a terrorist is planting a bomb !!!
Immediately, the satelites focalizes on Sears tower, CIA rushes in , and get the terrorist before he arms the explosive !
The american receives praises, a medal from Bush, and everyone is sure he is going to win !
3rd competitor, a gypsy. He goes to the same place and he looks South, and he looks, and he looks , and he exclaimes:
- Holy SHIT ! what a hairy back I have !!!
****
In a Western bar, was a relaxed atmosphere and everyone was minding his own business.
Suddenly a guy covered in blood enters the door, with 3 bullet holes in him and 2 arrows in the back yelling: " Guys take cover !!! Joe the KILLER is comming !!!" And he dies.
Everyone panicks , they cower under the tables shivering and pissing on them in fear !
5 minutes later another guy enters the bar: cold merciless eyes, lether -jacked covered with human skin, one hand on an ivory gun, iron plated boots .
He walks to the middle of the room in a deadly silence, looking to see any living soul. Everyone tries to make themselves smaller , shitting on them under the tables.
Finally he sees one one cowboy under one table and yells at him: " YOU THERE !!!" Stand the fuck up !"
The poor soul stands up, convinced that he is breathing his last.
"Come here, NOW !!!! " the newcommer yells. The cow-boy approaches, with his feet numbing...
"NOW suck my cock ! " The cowboys falls to his knees, thinking that hummiliation is better than certain death , pulls down the newcommer's pants and slowly starts sucking his cock.
"Faster please" , says the newcommer, " didn't you heard, fucking JOE the KILLER is comming !!!! "
*****