DopeyCowboy
04-11-2008, 06:08 PM
Well sports fans, fatherhood has relegated my ass to the couch, so I intend on reviewing some newer releases and, maybe some classics.
Right off the bat, if George Clooney was not in this movie it would have been C to B grade trash. After watching the movie I was flipping channels and saw Sandy Cohen in a hospital bed (Peter Gallagher) in some horrible movie. He has the eyebrows, a Clooneyesque look, and could have played Michael Clayton to the tee. The difference you ask? If Sandy Cohen would have starred in the movie, it would have gone straight to cable, would have been snubbed at the Academy Awards and of little to no fan fare. Does this matter? Not really. Star power is the name of the game. Hoo Ahh, Charlie. HOO AHH!!!!
Anyway, the story shakes out like this: Michael Clayton is a law firm cleaner (think Winston Wolfe without the blood) who gets called in to fix client fuck ups. He is a former DA with an alcoholic brother and a cop on the force. His demons include poker and an ex wife. Two things on this: 1. his ex wife isn’t really in the movie much I just thought he needed more than one demon; and 2: the best part of the movie is a scene when you see the new husband of Clooney/Clayton’s ex-wife. This guy is a skinny bald pedophile looking dude. I mean, in my most heterosexual voice, it is a quantum leap from brooding Clayton/Clooney/Booker stud. This gives the audience some insight into the man Michael Clayton is. He must have treated his wife like such shit that she had to settle for this poor sap so she would never be put through the mill again.
Anyway, Clayton gets called in when the firms big swinging dick goes bat shit at a deposition. The big swinging dick (Tom Wilkinson) is the chief litigator at a big swinging dick law firm. Wilkinson is off his meds and he is on to the fact that his firm represents a big swinging dick fertilizer company that is killing people. He is mad as hell and won’t take it anymore! He tries to blow the lid off the whole thing when the chief counsel for the fertilizer company, a big flapping beav (he is a she!) decides to take desperate measures to make sure the cat stays in the bag.
The movie not only reaffirms that lawyers are shit (we all know that), but goes so far as to show that they will actually order hits in order to save their case. A little far fetched, but hey, I’ve never worked at a big swingin dick law firm with big swingin dicks so I wouldn’t know.
Clayton gets involved and makes a lot of brooding Clooney faces along the way. In the end, Clayton is faced with an option of turning everyone in or taking the money and running. Lets just say he should have done the opposite of what he did.
Two things you can’t miss. 1. One of the BSD assassins is actually the nerd from Real Genius (classic movie) and 2. The fact that the chick in this movie won an Oscar is a joke.
Not really recommended. But hey, what the fuck do I know. HOO AHH
Right off the bat, if George Clooney was not in this movie it would have been C to B grade trash. After watching the movie I was flipping channels and saw Sandy Cohen in a hospital bed (Peter Gallagher) in some horrible movie. He has the eyebrows, a Clooneyesque look, and could have played Michael Clayton to the tee. The difference you ask? If Sandy Cohen would have starred in the movie, it would have gone straight to cable, would have been snubbed at the Academy Awards and of little to no fan fare. Does this matter? Not really. Star power is the name of the game. Hoo Ahh, Charlie. HOO AHH!!!!
Anyway, the story shakes out like this: Michael Clayton is a law firm cleaner (think Winston Wolfe without the blood) who gets called in to fix client fuck ups. He is a former DA with an alcoholic brother and a cop on the force. His demons include poker and an ex wife. Two things on this: 1. his ex wife isn’t really in the movie much I just thought he needed more than one demon; and 2: the best part of the movie is a scene when you see the new husband of Clooney/Clayton’s ex-wife. This guy is a skinny bald pedophile looking dude. I mean, in my most heterosexual voice, it is a quantum leap from brooding Clayton/Clooney/Booker stud. This gives the audience some insight into the man Michael Clayton is. He must have treated his wife like such shit that she had to settle for this poor sap so she would never be put through the mill again.
Anyway, Clayton gets called in when the firms big swinging dick goes bat shit at a deposition. The big swinging dick (Tom Wilkinson) is the chief litigator at a big swinging dick law firm. Wilkinson is off his meds and he is on to the fact that his firm represents a big swinging dick fertilizer company that is killing people. He is mad as hell and won’t take it anymore! He tries to blow the lid off the whole thing when the chief counsel for the fertilizer company, a big flapping beav (he is a she!) decides to take desperate measures to make sure the cat stays in the bag.
The movie not only reaffirms that lawyers are shit (we all know that), but goes so far as to show that they will actually order hits in order to save their case. A little far fetched, but hey, I’ve never worked at a big swingin dick law firm with big swingin dicks so I wouldn’t know.
Clayton gets involved and makes a lot of brooding Clooney faces along the way. In the end, Clayton is faced with an option of turning everyone in or taking the money and running. Lets just say he should have done the opposite of what he did.
Two things you can’t miss. 1. One of the BSD assassins is actually the nerd from Real Genius (classic movie) and 2. The fact that the chick in this movie won an Oscar is a joke.
Not really recommended. But hey, what the fuck do I know. HOO AHH