Halo Haters Report

[bangarang]

What's the story to this epic trilogy, mofos?

[Mojocaster]

typical aliens invading earth bullshit

[PokemonMaster]

Aliens invaded earth, Chief crashed on a ship, he went to this island to find this cartographer thing, he found some flood which are like mutated zombie aliens, he found this little blue robot thing that floats, he went into the halo (alien ship) and used the little robot guy to blow up the ship which he narrowly escaped.

More halos are found and the chiefs ship is attacked by some scrub aliens and he kills them and brings their bomb back to their own ship in a badass cutscene then goes on to kill all the aliens on this spider vehicle thing with this huge ass laser then you go to the arbitor who is some like covenant soldier and he tries to kill this bad alien dude and he does then you go back to chief and blablabla kill some brutes then you and the arbitor team up cause he got abused by the alien kings and then you kill this huge brute named tartarus which has a huge hammer but he's really easy.

Then the covenant starts attacking the humans actual base so you kill them then kill some flood then kill a giant laser thats destroying human ships then this giant like orb comes and idk what it does but then you go kill the alien king then you go save cortana from the stomach of this giant flood god thing because you lost her killing tartarus or something then you...oh yeah you go into this room with all this flood kill them then the blue orb guy kills johnson and you kill him then you go in this warthog and try to escape the halo before it explodes and you barely make it onto an abandoned ship and you and cortana admit your love for eachother and cortana reveals his name is John then it shows on earth the humans having your funeral and if you beat it on legendary is shows the special ending where the ship the chief was on is floating towards either a planet or a ship can't remember.


^Halo 1, 2, and 3 in 60 seconds.

[fIght_thaNe]

Halo is a series about a goverment, no, a covenant, that get control of the ring thats floating out in space. The ring is a very powerful weapon and the aliens are going to use it to destroy all the humans by death.

[iBmx]

Aliens invaded earth, Chief crashed on a ship, he went to this island to find this cartographer thing, he found some flood which are like mutated zombie aliens, he found this little blue robot thing that floats, he went into the halo (alien ship) and used the little robot guy to blow up the ship which he narrowly escaped.

More halos are found and the chiefs ship is attacked by some scrub aliens and he kills them and brings their bomb back to their own ship in a badass cutscene then goes on to kill all the aliens on this spider vehicle thing with this huge ass laser then you go to the arbitor who is some like covenant soldier and he tries to kill this bad alien dude and he does then you go back to chief and blablabla kill some brutes then you and the arbitor team up cause he got abused by the alien kings and then you kill this huge brute named tartarus which has a huge hammer but he's really easy.

Then the covenant starts attacking the humans actual base so you kill them then kill some flood then kill a giant laser thats destroying human ships then this giant like orb comes and idk what it does but then you go kill the alien king then you go save cortana from the stomach of this giant flood god thing because you lost her killing tartarus or something then you...oh yeah you go into this room with all this flood kill them then the blue orb guy kills johnson and you kill him then you go in this warthog and try to escape the halo before it explodes and you barely make it onto an abandoned ship and you and cortana admit your love for eachother and cortana reveals his name is John then it shows on earth the humans having your funeral and if you beat it on legendary is shows the special ending where the ship the chief was on is floating towards either a planet or a ship can't remember.


^Halo 1, 2, and 3 in 60 seconds.

actually i has a learning disability so that was actual kind of like an epic novel of love romance comdey action and dick

EDIT: not 60 seconds long

[The_Canadian]

Aliens invade earth and only you can stop them

[Dane]

It's about space marines, Wacky voiced aliens, the headcraps from Half-Life and lots of shiny colours!

[Nocturnal]

Man vs Man (in this case the Aliens are acting as the antagonistic alternate man)

/die worthless thread

[FlavaDave]

its about the modern day struggle of a working class single mother trying to make enough money to get by
10prostitutes

[iBmx]

they say the blacker the beryy, the sweeter the juice

[bangarang]

Aliens invaded earth, Chief crashed on a ship, he went to this island to find this cartographer thing, he found some flood which are like mutated zombie aliens, he found this little blue robot thing that floats, he went into the halo (alien ship) and used the little robot guy to blow up the ship which he narrowly escaped.

More halos are found and the chiefs ship is attacked by some scrub aliens and he kills them and brings their bomb back to their own ship in a badass cutscene then goes on to kill all the aliens on this spider vehicle thing with this huge ass laser then you go to the arbitor who is some like covenant soldier and he tries to kill this bad alien dude and he does then you go back to chief and blablabla kill some brutes then you and the arbitor team up cause he got abused by the alien kings and then you kill this huge brute named tartarus which has a huge hammer but he's really easy.

Then the covenant starts attacking the humans actual base so you kill them then kill some flood then kill a giant laser thats destroying human ships then this giant like orb comes and idk what it does but then you go kill the alien king then you go save cortana from the stomach of this giant flood god thing because you lost her killing tartarus or something then you...oh yeah you go into this room with all this flood kill them then the blue orb guy kills johnson and you kill him then you go in this warthog and try to escape the halo before it explodes and you barely make it onto an abandoned ship and you and cortana admit your love for eachother and cortana reveals his name is John then it shows on earth the humans having your funeral and if you beat it on legendary is shows the special ending where the ship the chief was on is floating towards either a planet or a ship can't remember.


^Halo 1, 2, and 3 in 60 seconds.

You left out important parts. Such as the ark. You just told me all the action that happened. MOAR STORY

[PokemonMaster]

You left out important parts. Such as the ark. You just told me all the action that happened. MOAR STORY


I told you all the cool parts. Wanna hear the gay parts? Read the books.

[bangarang]

I told you all the cool parts. Wanna hear the gay parts? Read the books.

I wanna buy the books and read 'em at home. Ghosts of Onyx looks fucking awesome. A lot of people say the planet Chief and Cortana were headed to was Onyx. There are also rumors that it is the Marathon planet and the series will continue from there.

[PsiRedEye22]

It's pretty sad that Americans nowadays have to play a video game to be coaxed to read a fucking book. There are throngs of better Sci-Fi series out there.

[rand0m]

What the fuck is a throng?

[PsiRedEye22]

If you read a book you'd know.

[rand0m]

Fair play magic man ... fair play ...

[puppetmasterjjk]

If you read a book you'd know.

Which book did you learn the word "throng" from?

[FlavaDave]

lol throng.
such a kick arse word

[PsiRedEye22]

Which book did you learn the word "throng" from?

Throngy McThrong, the Throngsbad Chronicles.