lil timmy jokes

[green_weed1]

lil timmy came home from school one day and was looking for his mom to get him a snack.
he realized she wasn't down stairs so went to her room to see what was happening.
he went up stairs and mom didn't have any pants on rubbing her self saying, "i need a man, I need a man, I need a man."
lil timmy thought nothing of it and went down stairs and made his own snack.

the next day he came home and looked around the house for his mom to make him a snack.
but couldn't find her.
he went to her room and there she was again but this time she had a man with her.

lil timmy was confused but then a bright idea came along.

timmy ran so fast to his room while stripping his clothes off that he tripped a good 3 times.
once there he layed on his bed played with his meat yelling, " i need a bike, i need a bike, I need a bike."





Little timmy is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest!?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells timmy to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.

timmy didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, "Why timmy, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to heaven." timmy thinks that's neat and asks no more questions.

A few weeks later, timmys dad comes home from work a few hours early. timmy runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying!!" His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?" "Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommys' balloons and she's screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!"

[green_weed1]

one day lil timmy was headed to his fathers house for the weekend.
so, he packed up all his materials for the next couple of days and put it in his wagon.
on his way to his fathers he passed a church and so happens the priest was raking some leaves.
lil timmy yelled "god damnit" while pulling his wagon

the priest says "you know you shouldn't swear god can hear you, he's every where"

lil timmy replies" is he in my wagon."

the priest exclaims "yes hes in your wagon to"

lil timmy shouts back " well, tell him to get the fuck out this bitch is heavy."



Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"

When April didn't stir, little timmy, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, timmy came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, timmy jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"

[John_macmahon]

aww, lil timmy and lil april hahaha

I need a car i need a car i need a car lol!