Thurst
08-17-2004, 05:42 PM
I'm a Photographer, Not a...
A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.
The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, "Let's go!" The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.
"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make several low-level passes."
"Why?" asked the nervous pilot.
"Because I'm going to take pictures!" yelled the photographer. "I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!"
The pilot replied, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"
Elephant Time
A young man is wandering around the zoo looking at the animals. He suddenly remembers about an appointment that he scheduled. Unfortunately, he forgets his watch. He searchs for someone who could give him the time.
He sees a zoo keeper standing next to an elephant. ''Excuse me sir,'' says the young man ''do you know what time it is?''
The zoo keeper reaches under the elephant, grabs his balls and starts playing with them.
''Mmmmm, it is about 3:00'' the zoo keeper responds.
The young man looks at him in awe, ''How did you know that?'' The zoo keeper looks back at the man, ''I looked at the clock on the wall right behind you.''
Drunk Driver
A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.
''I can't do that, officer.''
''Why not?''
''Because I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.''
''Okay, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station.''
''Can't do that either, officer.''
''Why not?''
''Because I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup.''
''Alright, we could get a blood sample.''
''Can't do that either, officer.''
''Why not?''
''Because I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood I could die.''
''Fine then, just walk this white line.''
''Can't do that either, officer.''
''Why not?''
''Because I'm drunk.''
A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.
The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, "Let's go!" The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.
"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make several low-level passes."
"Why?" asked the nervous pilot.
"Because I'm going to take pictures!" yelled the photographer. "I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!"
The pilot replied, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"
Elephant Time
A young man is wandering around the zoo looking at the animals. He suddenly remembers about an appointment that he scheduled. Unfortunately, he forgets his watch. He searchs for someone who could give him the time.
He sees a zoo keeper standing next to an elephant. ''Excuse me sir,'' says the young man ''do you know what time it is?''
The zoo keeper reaches under the elephant, grabs his balls and starts playing with them.
''Mmmmm, it is about 3:00'' the zoo keeper responds.
The young man looks at him in awe, ''How did you know that?'' The zoo keeper looks back at the man, ''I looked at the clock on the wall right behind you.''
Drunk Driver
A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.
''I can't do that, officer.''
''Why not?''
''Because I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.''
''Okay, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station.''
''Can't do that either, officer.''
''Why not?''
''Because I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup.''
''Alright, we could get a blood sample.''
''Can't do that either, officer.''
''Why not?''
''Because I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood I could die.''
''Fine then, just walk this white line.''
''Can't do that either, officer.''
''Why not?''
''Because I'm drunk.''