Racist Joke Tournament!

[paINTbaLLA472]

This is gunna be a freestyle racist thread... im gunna need 2 extra judges and every1 is invited. u guys can start now...

[The Stranger]

This is gunna be a freestyle racist thread... im gunna need 2 extra judges and every1 is invited. u guys can start now...
We already tried this with yo mamma jokes.... didn't work out that well.

[paINTbaLLA472]

We already tried this with yo mamma jokes.... didn't work out that well.

This is different, no brackets, no nothing, just freestyling. all that i need are 2 extra judges. this is no organized compitition...

[slope_style]

Whats the difference between a native and a picnic table?

A picnic table can support a family.

Why do natives always carry a nugget of sh*t in there front pocket

ID.

What do you call a mexican without a lawnmower?

Unemployed.

How do you start a mexican parade?

Roll a quarter down main street.

What do you call two mexicans in a ditch?

A sleepover.

[ferrari_fan]

What's the diff between a dead white baby and a dead black baby?
Five more minutes in the over.

[UnclePatches]

ill help judge

[bonenator]

how do you keep a nigger from hangin in your front yard........hangm in the back

[SliPKnoT]

What do you get when you place 36 West Virginians in one room?
A full set of teeth

How can you tell if a west virginian girl is a virgin?
if she can run faster than her brothers.

[mad-plopper]

how do you keep a nigger from hangin in your front yard........hangm in the back
cut the rope

and i could swear i already posted this joke here, but i guess not:

how do you get 30 jews to jump off a building?
-throw a quarter off

how do you 30 more to jump off
-tell em nobody got the quarter yet

[crazy-ass]

What do you call a Jew on the moon?
-Problem


What do you call two Jews on the moon?
-Still a problem


What do you call every Jew on the moon
-Problem solved :D

[Solid Skin]

a guy is walking through the zoo and he sees a cage of gorilas and one gorila is hitting and beating up the other gorilas and the guy says "dahm niggers, you give them a fur coat and they think they rule the world"

[Chocotaco]

Why dont sharks eat black people? They think they're whale shit

[/Tilt/]

How do you kill 100 Mexicans?
Blow up their car.


How do you know when a Chinese guy robbed your house?
Your homeworks done, your computers fixed, and the fuckers still tryin to get out of your driveway when you get home.

[Spank666]

How do you stop a Mexican tank?
Shoot the guy pushing it.


What happens when a Jew with a boner walks into a wall?
He breaks his nose.

[Musicordie]

what do you call one hundred niggers at the bottom of the ocean...
A good Start

What is so wrond about a cadillac going over a cliff with 5 niggers inside...
A cadilac seats six

How did they improve transportation in Harlem...
They planted the trees closer together

Why do Black women wear high heels...
So there knuckles dont scrape the ground

Why do white people go to mexicans garage sales...
to get there stuff back

MEH...

[fluffy-dice]

How do you stop a Mexican tank?
Shoot the guy pushing it.



.


heya I posted the same joke on the milatary jokes section : /



I got a joke
What does a stupid mexican do?
"He mows your driveway :D"

[Musicordie]

These are really wrong but kind of funny at the same time...
Whats worse than a dead baby... two dead babeis... wghats worse than that... a dumptruck full of dead babies... whats worse than that... theres one still alive at the bottom... whats worse than that... Hes eating his way to the top.

Whats worse than fifty dead babies in a garbage bin...
One dead baby in fifty garbage bins.

Whats worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree...
one dead baby nailed to ten trees.


Sorry if i ofended anyone but you cant say i didnt warn you. Anyway i think those are pretty sick and twisted, yet they still seem to provoke a laugh from time to time



-If its not racist enough for you jsut add the word nigger between "dead" and "Baby" and replace the word "worse" with "better". Thats about as racsist as jokes come i think

[paINTbaLLA472]

hahaha, nice. every1 keep going!. so far its pretty close. the tournament will end around September 30...

[ZX-6RR]

What do you call five black guys on each others shoulders, with a bunch of Chinese guys all standing around them holding hands?

A five story coon-diminium with a chink-link fence! :D

[Philhouse]

Why do black women carry around such big handbags?

-To carry their lipstick

How do you stop a jew drowning?

-Take your foot off its head

Whats the difference between a dog thats been run over and a jew thats been run over?

-There are skid marks leading up to the dog

[scooby///m3]

what do you call a black guy with a PHD?
N!gger.

what do you say if you see your tv floating around in the middle of the nite?

drop it n!gger.


sry,ltr.

[crazy-ass]

what do you call a jew falling from a window?
chocolate drops.

what do you call it if you see him floating back up?
black magic. :D

[Diamond Douglas]

Why do mexicans drive lowriders?
so they can drive and pick cabbage at the same time.

Why do they call them niggers?
because they are.

How do you babysit a nigger?
lick his lips and stick him to the wall. - How do you get him down?
teach him to say "mother fucker".

What'd the little nigger get for christmas?
your bike.

What's the differents between a jew and a pizza?
a pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

:D :D :D :D :D

[Col.Gooch]

what do you call a shed full of black people
ancient farm equipment


what's a black person's idea of safe sex?
locking the car door

[Poopsmith]

How do you get a nigger out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

[SliddY]

What does FUBU stand for?

Farmers Used to Buy Us.

What does the KKK and Nike have in common?

They both make niggers run faster.

Why are there no nigger astronauts?

Their lips explode at 50,000 feet.

What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk?

I set WHO free?

What's the difference between a pit bull and a nigger?

It is still legal to own pit bulls.

What do you get when you cross a gorilla with a nigger?

A dumb gorilla.

What do you say to a black man in uniform?

Can I have a big-mac with fries please?

[Trickee]

How many jews can you fit in a car?
54. 2 in front, 2 in back, and 50 in the ash tray
-----------------------
What language does a homosexual jew speak?
Heblew
-----------------------
What did Hitler get for his 10th birthday?
an Easy Bake Oven and a G.I. Jew
-----------------------
What do you call a little Mexican?
A Paragraph, b/c he's not quite an essay
-----------------------
Now some racist jokes:
What's the difference between a racist and a bucket of sludge?
The bucket
-----------------------
Why did the racist hit the nigger?
If you can't join 'em, beat 'em.

[southside]

i better get crowned king of this shit,here you go:

what do you say to the black jew?
get in the back of the gas chamber

there, you know you like it

g's up 666 igd

[theViBe]

How many jews can you fit in a car?
54. 2 in front, 2 in back, and 50 in the ash tray
-----------------------
What language does a homosexual jew speak?
Heblew
-----------------------
What did Hitler get for his 10th birthday?
an Easy Bake Oven and a G.I. Jew
-----------------------
What do you call a little Mexican?
A Paragraph, b/c he's not quite an essay
-----------------------
Now some racist jokes:
What's the difference between a racist and a bucket of sludge?
The bucket
-----------------------
Why did the racist hit the nigger?
If you can't join 'em, beat 'em.

i never heard these before...
i like the paragraph/ese one! haha

[PestControl]

What do you do when an Irishman throws a pin at you?
Run like hell-he probably has a grenade in his mouth.

There was an Albanian, Argintinian and German waling in the street and they find a lantern. The German rubs it and out comes a Genie, "I will grant you all a wish" he says. The Albanian was first, "I want all my country to never be hungry again," "very well" said the genie and the wich was granted. Next the Argintian, "I want a huge wall around my country so noone can get in or out to stop all wars and conflicts." This wish was granted. the German asked, tell me a bit about this wall, "well no-one can get in or out, it is 10000 metres high and unbreakable." "Very well" said the German, "fill it with water!"

How do you get 12 niggas in a volkswagon beatle? throw in a welfare check....how do you get them out....throw in a job application .

When do you smile and wink at a nigga?.....When your about to fire the gun.

someone told the whitegirl to take a bath and milk for soft skin so she called the grocries store to order some milk. When the milk man asked her "will that be pasterized?" she said, "hmmmmmm... no just up to my tits."

i shouldnt tell black jokes because i have a black man in my family tree...........hes been hanging there for years.

whats the difference between black people and snow tires. snow tires dont sing when you put chains on them.

What do you call fat mexican people? Bean and Cheese!!!

what is the difference b/t a black person and a park bench?a park bench can support a family of four.

why is stevey wonder always smiling? because he doesn't know he's black.

how did chinese learn to speak? they dropped a spoon and heard, ching, kong, ting, king.

What irish person can never leave the backyard? Patio Furniture.

why did the lil white boy get jumped in the ghetto? b/c he asked for a ssnika.

what is faster then a black guy with a tv? his brother with a vcr.

How do you know if you have been robbed by a mexican? Your dog is pregnant and your bike is gone.

What do whites like 2 eat? Ritz cuz it's 4 crackers.

Why is life like a bag of jelly-beans? Everyone hates the black ones.

Where did the black family go for Thanksgiving? Nowhere KFC isn't open on holidays.

What is the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman can go into a store without robbin.

Why are Blacks' palms white? Because they had there hands on the wall as God painted them.

What do you say if your T.V. is floating in the night? Drop it Niga'!!!!!!!!!!

How do you know when a pakistan boy becomes a man... They take the diaper off his ass and put it on his head.

whats the difference between a pizza and a black man? A pizza can feed a family of six.

How come black people are so fast? Cause all the slow ones are in jail.

How come black guys are like sperm? Only 1 in a million work.

What do you call 2 mexicans on the back of a fire truck? Hose A and Hose B (jose and josb)......

How does a polok commit suicide? He jumps out a basement window.

What do you call a black family paying in the leaves. Raisin Bran.

Why are abortions so common with blacks? The parents get a bonus from crime-stoppers.

Why do black people always have sex on their minds? Because they have pubes on their heads!

What does a black woman and an ice hockey player have in common? They both change their pads after 3 periods!

Why do more black people get hit by cars in the winter? They're easier to spot!

How many Cops does it take to arrest a mexican? 2, 1 to arrest him and the other to hold his oranges.

What do you get when you have 3 mexican, 1 chinese, and 3 blacks in a line? A sprinkler (spick-spick-spick-CHINK-nigga-nigga-nigga)

what do you call a black minister?? HOLY SHIT !!!!!

How was break dancing invented, When Black people were trying to steal hub-caps off of cars while they were moving.

What is the fastest way to get aroung Harlem, Jump on a black guys back and yell cops!

Why did two jewish guys spend ten years in the desert, one dropped a quarter.

How was copper wire invented, Two jewish guys fighting over a penny.

Why are black people so tall? Cuz there Ne-gros.

Why did the black guy say fee, fi, fo, fum? He was giving out his address - #3541.

why are black guys palms white? Because when god made people he thought he'd put a little bit of good in everybody.

I can keep going but this will do for now. Enjoy fuckers!

[candlestickjack]

Why did Hitler kill himself?
He saw his gas bill.

[Bubba-E]

What do you call 200,000 white men all skydiving?

Snow.

What do you call a black in a freezer?

Frozen chocolate.

What do you call a mexican with $1,000?

A criminal.

How many jews did Hitler kill in WW2?

Not enough.

What do you call a Arab in a hole?

Saddam Hussein

I came up with them as I went, exepct for the first one. I did multiple races for fairness :)

[PestControl]

I came up with them as I went, exepct for the first one. I did multiple races for fairness
Nothing is fair when you are making fun of another race.

Why doesn't Poland have a hockey team? They all drown during spring training.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a black baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong"

Why do drug companies put cotton on top of their products? To let black people know they picked cotten before they sold drugs.

What do you call a black man in a mansion? A thief

what begins with n and ends with r that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor

why is advil white? because it works

Why do mexicans refry their beans? have you ever seen a mexican do something right the first time?

what do you get when you cross a mexican and a vietnamese? A car theif that can't drive.

what did god say when he made a black person? dang i burnt him...

why do black people have to where white gloves when they are eating tootsie rolls? so they wont mistake them for their fingers and bite them off.

why do black people hate opening tylenol bottles? because there is cotton on top.

what do you call a white guy surrounded by 200 black guys?--WARDEN

What do you call an Chinese person that spun around several times? Disoriented.

if you lose your honky were do you go to look for it? in your aunt grandmother momma's bed, because honkys like to keep it in the family.

two little boys, (white and black) were arguing about who's dad is cooler the black boy sad well my dad has a cool truck and when you sound the horn it sounds "honky,honkey" and the white boy said well my daddy has a chainsaw and when you turn it on it goes "runnnnnn nnnigggaaaaa nigga nigga runnnnn-niggggggaaa nigga nigga-!!!!!!!!!"

how do u make a mexican mad? hide his food stamps under his work boots.

what do u call a mexican batisim? a bean dip

what is long and black? the welfare line!

why cant you look at white people for to long? youll go snow blind

why do jews have big noses? because the air is free!

why dont mexicans have olyimpic teams? because the ones who can run, jump, or swim are already here.

What is the biggest dilemma faced by jews? Free pork!

what do u call a bunch of mexicans holding hands? A spicett fence

How do you drown a black person? Pop his lips

Why do Greeks and Italians wear gold chains around their necks? So they know where to stop shaving!

Why do black people smell so bad? So blind people can hate them too

In my opinion there are two types of people on saint patricks day- the irish and the people who drive them home!

Why do Italians grow mustaches? So they can look like their grandmothers.

What do you get at a black mans garage sale? Your stuff Back!!!

How do you save a black from drowning? Why would you want to!!!

How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Hang one in your front!!!

whats the difference between a chevy and a black person? Chevys work

How many irish to screw in a light bulb? 2, one to hold it in place and the other to drink intill the room spins.

where do little white babies go when they die? Heaven
what do they get? Wings what are they called? Angels
where do little black babies go when they die? Heaven
what do they get? Wings what are they called? Bats

What happens when a Cuban gets a flat tire? He drowns

Why can't black people get on the internet? Because service providers don't offer basketball scholarships

Why aren't there any puerto ricans on Star Trek? They won't work in the future either.

two black guys and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The police

What do you call a drive bye in Chinatown? A Cappachino

a black guy a mexican guy and a white guy are walking along and they find a lamp and a jeanie comes out and says he'll give each of them one wish. the black guy is first and he wishes that him and all other black people get sent back to africa where they can live happily, then the mexican wishes he and all the mexicans can go back to their homeland and live happily as well. when it gets to the white guy he goes "let me get this strait, I can wish for anything I want and all the black people and mexicans are already gone?" "yes" replies the genie "alright then I'll have a coke"

[Shiggity Shwa]

What do you call an ethiopian with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese

"i was more frustrated than a legless ethiopoan watching a donut roll down a hill"- Larry the Cable guy

How do chinese people name their children?

Throw pots and pans down the stairs.

Why are black people good a basketball?

it involves stealing, running, and shooting.

Why didnt the Jews try to stop Hitler?

Because they're fucking stupid.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read?

Because He's black.

Why can't helen Keller drive?

Because she's a chick.

how did helen keller's parents punish her as a kid?

They left the plunger in the toilet seat. (ouch.)

How did they punish her when she grew up?

They took it out.

[fadetoblack5297]

A little, short man about 5 foot 5 inches walks into a bar, sits down and orders a beer. The bar tender looks and him and says, "Hey man, you better get out of here with that shirt on." The man replies "Why?" The bar tender says well first off it says "I HATE NIGGERS". And secondly it's about 10 minutes from now a lot of them come in here from work. The man insists he will be fine. He proceeds to finish his beer, and orders another one. Well right as he is doing so, three blacks walk in and sit down next to him. They order some drinks, and then notice the man's shirt. The first black guy turns to the white man and says what does your shirt say?" The white man turns to the bar tender and says, "The first thing I hate about black guys is they can't read." The second black guy turns to him and says, "What did you say"? The white man again turns to the bar tender and says, "the second thing I hate about black guys is that they can't hear." The third black guy (a huge black guy, 6ft 9in, arms the size of dumbbells, really mean looking) turns to the white man and says, "Would you like to take this outside?" The white man agrees to take it outside. 10 minutes later he returns and sits back down, orders another beer, and says to the bar tender " The third thing I hate about black guys is that they always bring a knife to a gun fight".

How do you stop a black baby from jumping on the bed?
Put Velcro on the ceiling.

How do you get him down?
Tell the Mexican kids in the neighborhood it's a piñata

What is the difference between a pizza and a black guy?
A pizza can feed a family of four

What does BFI stand for on a dumpster?
Black Family Inside

What does NBA stand for?
Nothing But Africans

Why do black people always have sex on their minds?
Because they have pubic hair on their heads.

[MethodMan]

yey my first post is here.

what do you call a white man with a 6 inch dick?
A blessing

What do you call a bunch of white people in a circle?
A Dope Ring!

How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, rednecks will screw anything.

What did the black guy do with his M&Ms?
Eat them

What did they white guy try and do with his?
Put them in alphabetical order

How did the West Virginian mom know when her daughter was on the rag?
Her son's dick tasted funny.

What do you call a White man with a sheep under each arm?
A Pimp.

What do West Virginian's do on Halloween?
Pump-kin.

What did a redneck see when he looked at his family tree?
A straight line!

[PestControl]

Read something I found.....just another person got all butt hurt over words.

I am an Asian American living in NYC and a big time Yanks fan. I'm not sure if you're aware, but for the past 2 nights the Yankees have beat up on the D'Backs Korean closer Kim. Being Korean myself, I felt sorry for him in a way but I was still very happy for the Yanks. However for the past 2 mornings on 102.7 WNEW radio station here in NYC, there is a sports talk show called "Sports Guys" on from 5AM till ~ 10AM that are making racial remarks about him that I can't just ignore. These remarks include everything from "chinese food delivery" to "Long Duk Dong" (these are nothing compared to some others that I rather not repeat) and they are damaging our reputation and status. I'm not a fan of this show nor did I ever listen to them until a good friend informed me. I was furious and sent a letter to the station but all I received was a reply from them saying "We love everyone and it was just a joke". Yes, it was just a joke at the expense of Asians. Now I don't let every low life calling me a "chink" bother me and I could just move on, but I cannot sit by and look the other way when these racist "jokes" are being broadcast on public radio and making all Asians look stupid everytime an Asian is involved in a sporting event. If this email does not upset you, try to get a transcript of the show or listen a taping of it if you can. If you have any Asian pride, I assure you that you will be just as upset if not more. We as Asians should be more vocal when these types of comments are made. Thanks. What can I do to prevent this from happening again?

[69drunkenhobo69]

nice jokes

[nothing2lose182]

1.people are like jelly beans.. nobody likes the black ones

2.what do you do when you see a nigger run through your back yard?

laugh and reload

3.what do you call mexicans in a line?

a spicket fence

4.why are niggers hands white?

because everbody has some good in em

5.why do niggers only have nightmares?

because we killed the only nigger who had a dream

6.why are niggers getting stronger?
tvs are getting bigger

7.how do you hide something from a spik?
put it in the shower

haha yea

[CHUBBS]

whats the diffrence between a hard-working nigger and bigfoot?



BIGFOOTS BEEN SPOTTED

[CHUBBS]

whats the diffrence between a dead dog on the road and a dead nigger on teh road?



theres skid marks leading upto the dog

[XxMad-CowxX]

1. Why do WHITE emo kids wear tight pants?
Because there dick is 2 inch.

2. What kind of porn is 75% of the porn on the web?
Black dicks in White girls.

3. Why do white girls have such flat asses.
Because they sit on them all day and watch Laguna Beach.

4. What do you say when you see a floating male enhancement pump when its bright out?
Go away Honky!

5.Whats the most expensive things white women by?
Her boobs.

6.What does Nazi stand for?
It can't stand for anything. There always bending over.



Ok, you can flame me if you wan't.I just chose white jokes because I know a billion black jokes...:lol:

[HereLiesMatthew]

Way to bump a thread older than time.

[Ænema]

1. What's the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go into a store without Robin.

2. Why aren't there any Mexicans on Star Trek?
They don't work in the future either.

3. What do a pool ball and a Mexican have in common?
The harder you hit them, the more English you get.

[Osama Bin Laden]

What do u call a retard on ebaumsworld?

stuntman25

[Nick is cool]

What do you call a faggot on ebaumsworld?



Stuntman25