Lawyer jokes

[mullill]

If your wife and your lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to the cinema?

[Peer_Pwnage]

Who calls it the cinema these days.

[mullill]

what u call it?

pictures? movies? movie theatre? :P

[GuffawMeister]

:lmao: A drunk lawyer went duck hunting in North Texas on September 1, (opening day of Dove hunting). He shot and dropped a dove, but it fell into a rancher's field on the other side of a fence.

As the drunk lawyer ripped his pants trying to clear a barbed wire fence, the rancher drove up on his 4-Wheeler and asked him what he was doing.

The drunk ripped pants lawyer responded, "I shot a dove and it fell in this field. I'm just going to pick it up."

The rancher, who hated drunks and lawyers, replied, "This is my property, and you aren't taking a step into my territory, boy"

The slobbering drunk, yet arrogant, lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in Dallas and, if you don't let me get that dove, I'll sue your old hick pants off, you s.o.b.!

The old rancher slyly smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we
settle disputes out here in the country, city slicker. We settle small disagreements like this with the "Three Kick Rule."

"What's the Three Kick Rule?" the lawyer slurred out the words as he tried to stand straight under the influence of his morning's breakfast of two 6-packs.

The rancher replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first
I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back
and forth until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that
he could easily take the old fellow. He agreed to abide by the local
custom.

The old fellow slowly climbed off his 4-Wheeler and walked up to the
attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his pointed toe cowboy boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second
kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's 12 morning beers gushing from his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when the rancher's third kick to his rear end
sent him face-first into a fresh cow crap patty. The city slicker lawyer was about to cry but managed to get to his feet. Wiping some of the cow crap off of his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, Now it's my turn."

The old rancher smiled and said, "Aw gee, I give up. You can have the dove."
:lol:

[jacson333]

i got confused. hahaa! maybe, i'll sleep. :lol: