Blonde Jokes

[Black/White man]

Post some Blonde jokes. I need to get back at the blondes at my school.

[Black/White man]

Got one


A blonde went to eletronic store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?"

The salesman said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."

The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."

The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don''t sell to blondes."

She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?"
"Because that is not a TV, it''s a microwave."

[Dark-Mage]

lol thats funny ill try to come up with some :D

[Grand Mesa Funk]

Black/White man, you just spam. that insane how many double/triple posts i have just found by you today.

[Dark-Mage]

got one lol :)

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for a bottom deodorant. "Sorry, we don't sell bottom deodorant" the pharmacist replies, struggling to keep from laughing.

"But I always buy it here", the blonde says. "I bought one last month". Thinking quickly, the pharmacist suggests, " I don't know what you bought before, may be you can bring in the empty container next time". "Sure", the blonde replies. "I'll bring it with me tomorrow"

The next day, the blonde walks into the shop again and hands the pharmacist an almost empty deodorant stick. "This is just a normal deodorant", the pharmacist tells the blonde, "You use it under your arms".

"No, it is not", the blonde answers, "it says so here: To apply, push up bottom".

[Black/White man]

Black/White man, you just spam. that insane how many double/triple posts i have just found by you today.


Il have to let a white boy say it http://ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/newbie4.jpg

[Dark-Mage]

hey black/white i got another

There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!”

hehehe, like em?

edit 1: hes right tho black/white u do double post alot, try going edit and typing there like i just did :p

[fwipit]

blonde jokes are like the only jokes i laugh at now

[dojob]

more blonde jokes

why are blondes and train tracks alike????




they both get laid across the country!!!

[Black/White man]

Why did the blond climb on the roof?

She heard that drinks were on the house.

[fwipit]

why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton?
cus it said concentrate

[Bigheaded Chief]

q.what do u call a smart blone
a.a golden retrever
q.how do u kill a submirine full of blondes
a.knock

[Bigheaded Chief]

there is this brunet walkin on some train track chanting 77 77 77 and a blonde walks up and asks whatcha doin she just keeps saying 77 77 77 10 minute later the train starts 2 come and right before the train hits the brunet jumps off the tracks and the blond gets killed then the brenet gets back on the tracks and starts chanting 78 78 78
3 blondes r walkin though the woods and see some tracks the 1st blonde goes those much be rabbit tracks the 2ed blonde goes those rnt rabbit tracks they r deer tracks the 3ed goes ur both wrong those r beer tracks the keep arguing until 10 minutes later they get run over by a train

[Spank666]

there is this brunet walkin on some train track chanting 77 77 77 and a blonde walks up and asks whatcha doin she just keeps saying 77 77 77 10 minute later the train starts 2 come and right before the train hits the brunet jumps off the tracks and the blond gets killed then the brenet gets back on the tracks and starts chanting 78 78 78
3 blondes r walkin though the woods and see some tracks the 1st blonde goes those much be rabbit tracks the 2ed blonde goes those rnt rabbit tracks they r deer tracks the 3ed goes ur both wrong those r beer tracks the keep arguing until 10 minutes later they get run over by a train

I feel like I should win a Nobel Prize for being able to read that.

[Boxed in Chaos~]

Here's your nobel prize. Mind explaining it? :banghead:

Sincerely yours,
Chaos~ :angel:

P.S. Bighead, Get Hooked On Phonics :censor:

[knowitall870]

Here's a good blonde joke:



A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and after looking around for a while selects a title that sounds very stimulating.

She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen. She got so mad and called the video store to complain.

Blonde: "I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape, but static."

Store Clerk: "Sorry about that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?"

Blonde: "It's called, Head Cleaner." :lol:

[GettoSmurf336]

3 blondes r walkin though the woods and see some tracks the 1st blonde goes those much be rabbit tracks the 2ed blonde goes those rnt rabbit tracks they r deer tracks the 3ed goes ur both wrong those r beer tracks the keep arguing until 10 minutes later they get run over by a train

The Way i heard it is a blomd a brunet and a red head are hunting with there BF and the brunett gos out and comes back with a deer and they go how did you get the deer, well me see tracks me follow track BOOM me get deer... the red head gos out and comes back with a rabbit wel they ask and she sayd me see tracks me follow tracks BOOM me get rabbit.... the blond gos out and dosent get back for a while and they say what happen to you??? She says me seetracks me follow tracks BOOM me get hit by train
:)

[fwipit]

Here's a good blonde joke:



A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and after looking around for a while selects a title that sounds very stimulating.

She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen. She got so mad and called the video store to complain.

Blonde: "I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape, but static."

Store Clerk: "Sorry about that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?"

Blonde: "It's called, Head Cleaner." :lol:
i don get it?

[Dark-Mage]

me nither =P :wtf:

[ComboverKop]

A head cleaner is a tape that cleans your VCR "heads", the things that make the tape viewable...it doesnt have an actual "show" on it...poor kids...non VCR era


Anywho...

A blonde gets fired from her job at McDonalds, she walks home because she misses the bus and sees a man in his front yard with a can of paint. She walks up to him and asks, "Ill paint whatever you were gonna paint if you pay me well". He says sure and tells her to paint the porch bright yellow, both sides, two coats, and I'll pay you 100 bucks. He returns to the house and tells his wife, some girl just walked up and agreed to paint the porch, that might take her hours, but she looked like she needed the money so i agreed. 30 minutes later the blonde walks in, much to the mans surprise and states...that was easy, but its not a porch......

Its a Ferrari

:p :bang: :D

[DeathCloud]

Here's a good blonde joke:



A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and after looking around for a while selects a title that sounds very stimulating.

She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen. She got so mad and called the video store to complain.

Blonde: "I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape, but static."

Store Clerk: "Sorry about that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?"

Blonde: "It's called, Head Cleaner." :lol:



OMG that is fucking great :icon_rofl :icon_rofl :icon_rofl

[Black/White man]

Why did the blonde ask her friends to save their burned-out
light bulbs?

She needed them for the darkroom she was building.

Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?

To see what was on the other side!!!

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight
from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun
game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely
declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The
lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of
fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know
the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa. "Again, she
declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated,
says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and
if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This
catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no
end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from
the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches
into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the
lawyer.

Okay says the lawyer, your turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes
up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The
lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all
his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his
modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no
answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and
coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and
hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back
to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde
and asks, "Well, what's the answer? "Without a word, the blonde
reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to
sleep.
:D

[fwipit]

^^i dont get the 1st and 3rd one. the 2nd one was good :lol:

[Sketcher]

Three blondes have just finished a jigsaw-puzzle so they decide to celebrate by going out. They walk into a bar chanting, "61 days 61 days!"

The bartender gets curious and walks over to them and asks, "Why are you chanting 61 days?"

One of the three answer, "Because the box said 3-6- years!"

[Black/White man]

Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.

Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's mine?"

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.

Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.

[BrAzIL duDe]

What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on her head?
All you can eat under a buck.

Why is a blonde like a hardware store?
They are both 10¢ a screw!

What is a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
Humpme Dumpme!

What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
Nothing. They've never met.
Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

What's the mating call of the blonde?
"I'm *sooo* drunk!"

What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
(Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk

:lol:

[Mr.Dood]

C'mon ppl-thats all you've got? Here's a few of my faves.

How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
The joystick's wet.

What's the difference between a blond and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking if you slap it.

I've got more--i'll post them later.

[Black/White man]

Here's a really good one

There's a magician and 3 people. There's a blonde, a fat person, and an Flip.
The magician say's "Each one of you will have to tell me something true and that you think about yourself by. If it's not true than you will go poof and never come back again". So the fat person says "I think I'm skinny"POOF (she lied) . The Flip. Says "I think me and my Race are better than any other" POOF. Then the blonde Says "I think - POOF
The blonde is cut off from her sentence if you don't get it.
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D

[Shelobe]

Why did the blonde have square boobs?




She forgot to take teh kleenex out of the box.





One night, a blonde was speeding down the road when she noticed blue lights behind her. She pulls over and a police officer, another blonde, comes up to her window. The officer asks to see the driver's license. The blonde goes digging thru her purse, feels something square likes her license, and pulls it out...it was a little mirror. She hands it to the officer anyway. The officer looks at it, looks back at the blonde with a bewildered look on her face and says............I didn't know you where a police officer too.

[dojob]

how do you drown a blonde?

put a scratch and sniff sticker at the botom of the pool :lol:

[Black/White man]

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just dyed her hair.

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it." I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.

[yamahawarrior99]

Black/white man please do not double and triple post.If you want to add something just edit your post,or you can wait untill some one post after you.

[Black/White man]

Black/white man please do not double and triple post.If you want to add something just edit your post,or you can wait untill some one post after you.

Did that

How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawnmower?
The green WELCOME mat is ripped all to shreds.

Why did it take the blond a whole week to wash three basement windows?
It took him six days just to dig the holes to put the ladder in.

Did you hear about the blond who never learned to waterski?
He couldn't find a lake with a slope.

Why did the blond only smell good on the right side?
He didn't know where to buy Left Guard. (get it right guard)

[Sketcher]

How do you know when a blondes been having a bad day?

Shes got a tampon behind her ear, and she's looking for her pencil.

[w0mpa]

So a blonde is at this 'Who wants to be a Millionaire" show. She's stuck at the first question. The host asks her if she wants to call someone, ask the public or 50/50?

She's thinking.. then she said "I want to call my husband".
*ring* *ring*..
"hello?"
"hey it's me honey, I'm calling from Who wants to be a Millionaire and should I ask the public or use the 50/50?"

haha I read that from a magazine or something, it was funny by then.

[Black/White man]

A group of blondes were willing to prove that not all blondes
were dumb. They established a judges panel of people to ask the
questions. On the day of the judging the people started off by
asking, "What is 59+2?"
The first blonde contestant responded by saying, "57?"
The rest of the blondes said, "Give her another chance, give
her another chance!"
Then they asked, "What is 15-5?"
The blonde responded, "20 right?"
Once again the rest of the contestants screamed, "Give her
another chance, give her another chance!"
The judges decided to go easier on her and asked, "What is 1+2?"
"3?" said the blonde.
The rest of the blondes say, "Give her another chance, give her
another chance!"