Sick, but funny

[A Fat Kid]

Q: What's the worst part about eating a vegetable?
A: Putting her back in the wheel chair when you're done.


Q: Why did the old lady live in a shoe?
A: Because she was a stupid, crack whore.

[crazy-ass]

:rolleyes:

[jamie]

thats one hell of a good location to be in

[Tool]

sigh those jokes are sooooo fking old, and lame on top of it.

no rep for u

[brandon_c14]

Shut up! This part of the fourm is for jokes, not to cristize them.

[Thors Hammer]

Two tramps were walking along the railroad tracks one day and one tramp said to the other, "I'm the luckiest guy in the world".

"Why is that?" said the other tramp.

"Well, I was walking down these tracks last week and I found a $20. I went into town and bought a case of wine and was drunk for three days."

The other tramp said, "That was pretty good, but I think I'm the luckiest guy in the world. I was walking down these very tracks about two weeks ago, and just up ahead was a gorgeous naked woman tied to the tracks. I untied her and took her up there in the trees and I had sex with her for two days."

"Jesus", said the first tramp. "You are the luckiest guy; did you get a blow job, too?"

"Well", the other tramp said, "No, I never found her head."

[Benny Brown]

sigh those jokes are sooooo fking old, and lame on top of it.

no rep for u
Well, thanks for sparing us the prolific use of the, GOD FORBID, F-word.

Oh and thanks for taking the time to tell me that I've already heard that one, because I hadn't. NEGATIVE REP FOR YOU!

"Well", the other tramp said, "No, I never found her head."

You sick little shit.

[Thors Hammer]

Thanks Benny I appreciate that, it takes a lot of work to be this disgusting and for you reward for this compliment, I'll give you 3 more joke -


Little Johnny's father decided it was time for 11-year-old Little Johnny, to learn the facts of life. He takes him to the local house of ill repute, which is fronted by a beauty parlor. He introduces Little Johnny to the madam, and explains that it's time for his indoctrination to sex.

The madam says, "You've been such a good customer over the years, I'm going to see to this personally." So she takes Little Johnny by the hand and leads him upstairs, where she completes his deflowering. Later, as they are walking downstairs the madam says, "Since this is your first time, I'm going to see that you get the full treatment before you leave. I'm going to give you a manicure."

Two weeks later Little Johnny and his father run into the madam on the main street. Little Johnny is acting a little shy, so the madam smiles and says, "Well, Little Johnny, don't you remember me?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Little Johnny stammers, "you're the lady that gave me the crabs and then cut off my fingernails so I couldn't scratch 'em."




A guy picks up a girl in a bar, brings her home, and they start getting it on. He starts sucking on one of her tits and milk comes out.

He says, "Hey, are you pregnant?"

She says, "That wasn't a nipple, that was a boil."




A girl came home from a date. Her mother had waited up for her, and when the girl walked in the door, the mother noticed she had rice in her hair.

"Sally," she said, "you didn't tell me you were going to a wedding."

"I didn't mom," Sally replied. "I was giving a blowjob to a Chinese guy and he threw up on me."

fantastic :lol:


P.S. apologies if someone else used these jokes on a forum before me

[Grand Mesa Funk]

Thanks Benny I appreciate that, it takes a lot of work to be this disgusting and for you reward for this compliment, I'll give you 3 more joke -


Little Johnny's father decided it was time for 11-year-old Little Johnny, to learn the facts of life. He takes him to the local house of ill repute, which is fronted by a beauty parlor. He introduces Little Johnny to the madam, and explains that it's time for his indoctrination to sex.

The madam says, "You've been such a good customer over the years, I'm going to see to this personally." So she takes Little Johnny by the hand and leads him upstairs, where she completes his deflowering. Later, as they are walking downstairs the madam says, "Since this is your first time, I'm going to see that you get the full treatment before you leave. I'm going to give you a manicure."

Two weeks later Little Johnny and his father run into the madam on the main street. Little Johnny is acting a little shy, so the madam smiles and says, "Well, Little Johnny, don't you remember me?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Little Johnny stammers, "you're the lady that gave me the crabs and then cut off my fingernails so I couldn't scratch 'em."




A guy picks up a girl in a bar, brings her home, and they start getting it on. He starts sucking on one of her tits and milk comes out.

He says, "Hey, are you pregnant?"

She says, "That wasn't a nipple, that was a boil."




A girl came home from a date. Her mother had waited up for her, and when the girl walked in the door, the mother noticed she had rice in her hair.

"Sally," she said, "you didn't tell me you were going to a wedding."

"I didn't mom," Sally replied. "I was giving a blowjob to a Chinese guy and he threw up on me."

fantastic :lol:


P.S. apologies if someone else used these jokes on a forum before me

i find your jokes strangely arousing, rep

[Thors Hammer]

very kinky.......................................I LIKE IT

Two necrophiliacs are at work in the morgue. One of them turns to the other and says, "You should have seen this woman they brought in last week. They pulled her out of the water after she'd been there for three weeks. Man, I'm tellin' you, her clit was just like a pickle."

"What," the other asks, "green?".

"No," says the first, " a bit sour."

[CHAOS~EMPORER~D]

Ok Here We Go Im New But Here Goes The Jokes


Q : How Does A Kentucky Mother Know When Her Daughter Is Not A Virgin...

A : When Her Sons Dick Taste Like Blood

[rammer67]

A guy picks up a girl in a bar, brings her home, and they start getting it on. He starts sucking on one of her tits and milk comes out.

He says, "Hey, are you pregnant?"

She says, "That wasn't a nipple, that was a boil."






" :icon_rofl sick man!reps

[JayJay]

:icon_rofl sick man!reps

dido haha nice joke

[Thors Hammer]

Three whores decide to see who has the biggest snatch. They get naked, and start fingering themselves and each other.

After a few minutes, the first one squats on a glass top table, and then they measure the slimy outline she leaves.

The second one then squats on the table, and then they measure the slimy outline she leaves, which is even bigger.

The third one squats on the table, but when she stands back up, the first whore says, "You didn't leave an outline."

She says, "Smell the rim."



A cop stops his police car when he sees a couple sitting on the curb. The chap is laying on his side with his trousers pulled down, the girl has her finger in his asshole, and she's reaming away with a vengeance.

The cop says, "What the hell is going on here?"

The girl says, "This is my date. When I told him I wouldn't spend the night with him, he started pounding down the booze. Now, he's too drunk to drive me home, so I'm trying to sober him up by making him puke."

The cop says, "That's not gonna make him puke."

She says, "Yeah? Wait till I switch this finger to his mouth."

[caucsioninvsion]

Why can't Jesus play hockey?

He keeps getting nailed to the boards.




See ya in hell, I suppose.

[Thors Hammer]

Well I'm going to hell too, so........................................maybe we could......um........get together sometime and do the hippiddy-dippiddy ;)

[biscuit]

Well I'm going to hell too, so........................................maybe we could......um........get together sometime and do the hippiddy-dippiddy ;)


you lack teh funnay.

[Thors Hammer]

That hurts my feelings

[Tool]

Well, thanks for sparing us the prolific use of the, GOD FORBID, F-word.

Oh and thanks for taking the time to tell me that I've already heard that one, because I hadn't. NEGATIVE REP FOR YOU!



You sick little shit.

fuck you....

[ragnarok7999]

Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son.

The doctor walks in and Michael asks: "Doctor, how long before we can have sex?"

The doctor replies, "I'd wait until he's at least 14."

[Thors Hammer]

A man walks past an ice cream stand that advertises, "Every flavor ice cream in the world."

"Bullshit," thinks the man and walks in. "So you say you have every flavor ice cream in the world?" "O.K., I would like three scoops of cunt flavored ice cream please."

"No problem sir." The assistant gives the man three scoops of ice cream in a cone and the man takes a good lick.

Grimacing, he says, "This doesn't taste like cunt, it tastes like shit!" The assistant replies,

"Of course it tastes like shit when you take such long licks!"

[stamp3de]

A man walks past an ice cream stand that advertises, "Every flavor ice cream in the world."

"Bullshit," thinks the man and walks in. "So you say you have every flavor ice cream in the world?" "O.K., I would like three scoops of cunt flavored ice cream please."

"No problem sir." The assistant gives the man three scoops of ice cream in a cone and the man takes a good lick.

Grimacing, he says, "This doesn't taste like cunt, it tastes like shit!" The assistant replies,

"Of course it tastes like shit when you take such long licks!"

I heard that one before but the punch line was "you licked the wrong side"

[A Fat Kid]

Q: What's the difference between a pile of bowling balls and a pile of dead babies?

A: One can be moved with a pitchfork.

[Spinalcombo]

Q: - Whats the good thing about fucking twenty eight year olds?

A: - Theres twenty of them!

(sick and wrong I know!)