good quotes

[fwipit]

just list quotes here. they dont have to be funny, i just usually liike mine funny. also list the person who said it. im not going to start it ok.

[Perro]

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
- Charles De Gaulle, former French President

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer


Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
- Bill Peterson, football coach

It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be
skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you 've lost a very important part
of your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," --
Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime
rates in the country," -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass,
and I'm just the one to do it," -- A congressional candidate in Texas

There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the
Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves." -- John Wayne

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the
impurities in our air and water that are doing it." -- Al Gore, Vice President

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." -- Dan Quayle

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we
need?" -- Lee Iacocca

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." --
Keppel Enderbery

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as
they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." -- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

"City fathers were hoping to raise enough money to erect a new bronze statue of the Duck of Wellington."
- BBC commentator

"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver."
- Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman

"If you give a person a fish, they'll fish for a day. But if you train a person to fish, they'll fish for a lifetime."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President on the concept of a manned mission to Mars

"It is white."
- George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
- George Gobel

"I have a God-given talent. I got it from my dad."
- Julian Wakefield, Missouri basketball player

"All you have to do is go down to the bottom of your swimming pool and hold your breath."
- David Miller, US DOE spokesperson, on protecting yourself from nuclear radiation

”I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.”
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle

[Canibus]

"Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound."
- Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange Street Food Farm

"I invented the internet".
- Al Gore, former U.S. Vice President

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."
- Alicia Silverstone, Actress

"How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby."
- Anonymous Manufacturer

"This is no longer a slum neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time."
- Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL

"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails."
- AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian

"Two grand slams in a week - man, that's seven or eight ribbies right there."
- Bill Madlock, Baseball broadcaster

"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
- Bill Peterson, football coach

"The internet is a great way to get on the net."
- Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate

"The team has come along slow but fast."
- Casey Stengel, Baseball player/manager

"I think the team that wins Game 5 will win the series. Unless we lose Game 5."
- Charles Barkley, NBA Basketball Player

"Football players win football games."
- Chuck Knox, football coach

"Most lies about blondes are false."
- Cincinnati Times-Star, headline
"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

"The only reason we're 7-0 is because we've won all seven of our games."
- David Garcia, baseball team manager

"Sit by the homely girl, you'll look better by comparison."
- Debra Maffett, Miss America 1983

"We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out."
- Decca Records Rejecting the Beatles, in 1962

"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something."
- Dennis Rodman, NBA Basketball player, on Chicago Bull's team chemistry being overrated

"We're just physically not physical enough."
- Denny Crum, Louisville basketball coach

"Weather forecast: precipitation in the morning, rain in the afternoon."
- Detroit Daily News

"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing."
- Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.

"Can you get a ticket for running a stop sign that is not
there?"
- Driver school applicant

"The world is more like it is now then it ever has before."
- Dwight Eisenhower

"A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money."
- Everett Dirksen, Congressman

"Boxing’s all about getting the job done as quickly as possible, whether it takes 10 or 15 or 20 rounds."
- Frank Bruno, Boxer

"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe."
- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia

"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
- George Bush, former U.S. President

"If you think is was an accident, applaud."
- Geraldo Rivera, talk show host, to his audience on Natalie Wood's drowning

"I cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity."
- Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House

"Does the album have any songs you like that aren't on it?
- Harry News, music reviewer

"Coming on to pitch is Mike Moore, who is six-foot-one and 212 years old."
- Herb Score, Sportscaster

"I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding."
- Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons

"I don't want to ever, ever do something in life that isn't fun. Ever."
- Jennifer Love Hewitt, Actress, in the February Cosmopolitan.

"We're going to move left and right at the same time."
- Jerry Brown, Governor of California

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
- Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery

"I don't diet. I just don't eat as much as I'd like to."
- Linda Evangelista, Supermodel

"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
- Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota.

I"The largest crowd ever in the state of Las Vegas."
- Mark Jones, TV Broadcaster

"Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding."
- Mickey Rivers, baseball player

"I'm a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife."
- Mike Greenwell, Baseball player

"If only faces could talk..."
- Pat Summerall, Sportscaster, during the Super Bowl

"All of the Mets' road wins against Los Angeles this year have been at Dodger Stadium."
- Ralph Kiner, NY Sportscaster

"Solutions are not the answer."
- Richard Nixon, former U.S. President

"Permitted vehicles not allowed."
- Road sign on US 27

"A bachelor's life is no life for a single man."
- Samuel Goldwyn

"SAFETY FIRST: Please put on your seat belt - prepare for accident."
- Sign on backseat of Taxi

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
- Terry Venables

[Black/White man]

If I'm an ass hole your a whole ass.
:D