post your engrish here

[Kolpom]

what is engrish, you ask? why, its foreign english! for instance, in spain there is a sign that says "here speching american."

"please to bathe inside the tub."

"please do not be a dog."

these are 100% real.

[Aperitis]

"the happy fun time bar" in japan

[Devastation]

"not to be used for the other use."

Instruction label from a product made in Japan.

[KakUMei]

www.engrish.com

[Sherlock]

Damn I love that website.
" Please do not use this lift, during which time you will be unbearable."
and
" Please take advantage of all our chambermaids " :bang:

[ooooh-creepy]

Taken from a chineese book my son checked out of the library.

Erection:- The method used to decide american polotical leaders.

[Kolpom]

www.engrish.com

thats cheating. And i already knew about it.

[dorito]

My personal favourite, on a japanese car rental brochure:

"When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigour."

Others:
"Are you an adult that cannot read? If so, we can help."
"Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."
"Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."
"We take your bags and send them in all directions."
"Cooles and Heates if you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself." (air conditioner instructions)
"Specialist in women and other diseases".
In Japanese toilets: "To stop leak, turn cock to the right"
"Customers who find our waitresses rude, ought to see the manager. "
"Open seven days a week, and on weekends also. "
"Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves "
"The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable "
"The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. "
"You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous russian and soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except thursday "

I'll leave some for you all to post ;)

[Kolpom]

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

[Black/White man]

Me no like you doing that.

You person bad very.


You like that engrish don't you

[callmejulio]

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

God, that one's so old its painful to read

[Dual]

There's a Chinese restaurant in Baltimore called "Eat Must Be First". Not bullshitting you.

[Aperitis]

dual's was just insane, but here's another bad one

click (http://www.engrish.com/image/engrish/watermelonpig.jpg)

[Doc]

Kim Jong Il: [Angry and flailing arms] You were suppose to wait fo da fucking signal! You can't just set off de W.M.D.'s as you pwease! You're all fucking up my bwiwiant pwans!

[Adam3333]

on a BB gun i bought:
'Do not shoot at man or the animal'

[50%rican]

"no have beef" a sign at a taco bell i went to

[James Bond 007]

Funny things the chippy (Chinease chipshop) woman round the corner has said to me and my mates over the years:

I went into the chippy the day after my brother and Reptillian_Storm pissed through their letter box one night when we were very drunk and she said to me (infront of loads of other customers):

*"I rike you, you a nice boy but your bruddah very rude boy, I see him rastnight on my surveirance cameya, he wee threw my retterbox, why he do dat? he dirty!"

As you can imagine I was trying my hardest not to laugh, I nearly pissed in my pants it was so funny.

Another time it had been snowing and me and Reptillian_Storm were in his back garden (which has a great view of the back of the chippy where the kitchen is), it was night and very dark, we both started chuckin snow balls into the back of the chippy and when they came out screaming and looking for us we were hid behind some little conifer trees in Reps garden, Rep said to me dont do anythin yet. I saw the owner of the chippy (a lovely man by the name of Wu Pac Chu) poking his head out of an upstairs window trying to zero in on our position and I saw an opportunity to get him so I took it, unfortunatly I just missed and hit the wall next to his head, he shat himself and I legged it down Rep's garden towards his house. He has a security light on the back of his house which bcoz I ran past switched on, lighting up Rep's garden and Rep decided to give it legs too before he was spotted but he slipped in the snow and landed on his back, he was spotted and the chippy woman shouted:

*"Ah ha! I see you now, I know where you rive! I gonna come an see your daddy!"

They are brilliant them chippy folk, they have given us years of laughter. :lol: