Dirty Limericks

[Mr.Dood]

As i looked through the thead titles, i was shocked to find that there wasn't a single one about dirty limericks. So, seeing it as my duty, I took it upon myself. Here are two that i've learned and remembered:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
As he wiped off his chin,
He said with a grin,
If my ear were a cunt i could fuck it!

There once was a man named magoo
who went sailing in his canoe.
As he dreamed of venus,
He played with his penis,
and woke up with his hands filled with goo!

Please post some of your own limericks, however, if you don't like dirty limericks please don't post here.

[neozep]

There once was a lady from Weiling
she had a rather funny feeling
so she laid on her back
opened her crack
and pissed on the ceiling

[moldy_hair]

Not quite a perfect limrick, but owell.



Jack and Jill went up a hill to have a little fun.
They fucked and they fucked,
Jack knocked Jill up,
And now they two bastard sons.

[ooooh-creepy]

Heres one from me.

There once was a hermit named Dave,
Who lived with a dead whore in his cave.
She was minus one tit and her snatch smelled like shit,
But imagine the money he saved!

[Trickee]

There once was a man from Albass
who had 2 balls made of brass
when he rubbed them together
it made stormy weather
and shot lightning bolts out of his ass.

[Kusanagi]

There once was a man from Reeds
Who swallowed a package of seeds
Great tufts of grass
shot out of his ass
and his balls were all covered in peas.