CHSDrummer
01-12-2005, 12:44 PM
Alright I dont remember if this has been posted or not but I still get a kick out of it so here we go.
"GENERAL POLITICALLY CORRECT TERMS"
Dirty Old Man: Sexually focused chronologically gifted individual.
Perverted: Sexually dysfunctional.
Serial Killer: Person with difficult-to-meet needs.
Lazy: Motivationally deficient.
Fat: Horizontally challenged.
Fail: Achieve a deficiency.
Dishonest: Ethically disoriented.
Bald: Follicularly challenged.
Clumsy: Uniquely coordinated.
Body Odor: Nondiscretionary fragrance.
Alive: Temporarily metabolically abled.
Worst: Least best.
Wrong: Differently logical.
Ugly: Cosmetically different.
Unemployed: Involuntarily leisured.
Short: Vertically challenged.
Dead: Living impaired.
Vagrant: Nonspecifically destinationed individual.
Spendthrift: Negative saver.
Drunk: Chemically inconvenienced.
Pregnant: Parasitically oppressed.
Ignorant: Knowledge-based non-possessor
SEX SPECIFIC POLITICALLY CORRECT TERMS
FEMALE:
She is not a Babe or a Chick - She is a Breasted American.
She is not a Screamer or Moaner - She is Vocally Appreciative.
She is not Easy - She is Horizontally Accessible.
She does not Tease or Flirt - She engages in Artificial Stimulation.
She is not Dumb - She is a Detour Off The Information Superhighway.
She has not Been Around - She is a Previously Enjoyed Companion.
She does not Get You Excited - She causes Temporary Blood Displacement.
She is not Kinky - She is a Creative Caretaker.
She does not have a Killer Body - She is Terminally Attactive.
She is not an Airhead - She is Reality Impaired.
She does not get Drunk or Tipsy - She gets Chemically Inconvenienced.
She is not Horny - She is Sexually Focused.
She does not have Breast Implants - She is Medically Enhanced.
She does not Nag You - She becomes Verbally Repetitive.
She is not a Slut - She is Sexually Extroverted.
She does not have Major League Hooters - She is Pectorally Superior.
She is not a Two Bit Whore - She is a Low Cost Provider.
MALE:
He does not have a beer gut; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
He is not quiet; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.
He is not stupid; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.
He does not get lost; he DISCOVERS ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
He is not balding; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
He is not a cradle robber; he prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
He does not get falling-down drunk; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
He does not act like a total ass; he develops a case of RECTAL CRANIAL INVERSION.
He is not short; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.
He does not constantly talk about cars; he has a VEHICULAR ADDICTION.
He is not unsophisticated; he is SOCIALLY MALFORMED.
He does not eat like a pig; he suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA.
He does not hog the blankets; he is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE.
He is not a male chauvinist pig; he has SWINE EMPATHY.
He doesn't have a dirty mind; he has INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENTS.
He is not afraid of commitment; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
Enjoy
"GENERAL POLITICALLY CORRECT TERMS"
Dirty Old Man: Sexually focused chronologically gifted individual.
Perverted: Sexually dysfunctional.
Serial Killer: Person with difficult-to-meet needs.
Lazy: Motivationally deficient.
Fat: Horizontally challenged.
Fail: Achieve a deficiency.
Dishonest: Ethically disoriented.
Bald: Follicularly challenged.
Clumsy: Uniquely coordinated.
Body Odor: Nondiscretionary fragrance.
Alive: Temporarily metabolically abled.
Worst: Least best.
Wrong: Differently logical.
Ugly: Cosmetically different.
Unemployed: Involuntarily leisured.
Short: Vertically challenged.
Dead: Living impaired.
Vagrant: Nonspecifically destinationed individual.
Spendthrift: Negative saver.
Drunk: Chemically inconvenienced.
Pregnant: Parasitically oppressed.
Ignorant: Knowledge-based non-possessor
SEX SPECIFIC POLITICALLY CORRECT TERMS
FEMALE:
She is not a Babe or a Chick - She is a Breasted American.
She is not a Screamer or Moaner - She is Vocally Appreciative.
She is not Easy - She is Horizontally Accessible.
She does not Tease or Flirt - She engages in Artificial Stimulation.
She is not Dumb - She is a Detour Off The Information Superhighway.
She has not Been Around - She is a Previously Enjoyed Companion.
She does not Get You Excited - She causes Temporary Blood Displacement.
She is not Kinky - She is a Creative Caretaker.
She does not have a Killer Body - She is Terminally Attactive.
She is not an Airhead - She is Reality Impaired.
She does not get Drunk or Tipsy - She gets Chemically Inconvenienced.
She is not Horny - She is Sexually Focused.
She does not have Breast Implants - She is Medically Enhanced.
She does not Nag You - She becomes Verbally Repetitive.
She is not a Slut - She is Sexually Extroverted.
She does not have Major League Hooters - She is Pectorally Superior.
She is not a Two Bit Whore - She is a Low Cost Provider.
MALE:
He does not have a beer gut; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
He is not quiet; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.
He is not stupid; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.
He does not get lost; he DISCOVERS ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
He is not balding; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
He is not a cradle robber; he prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
He does not get falling-down drunk; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
He does not act like a total ass; he develops a case of RECTAL CRANIAL INVERSION.
He is not short; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.
He does not constantly talk about cars; he has a VEHICULAR ADDICTION.
He is not unsophisticated; he is SOCIALLY MALFORMED.
He does not eat like a pig; he suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA.
He does not hog the blankets; he is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE.
He is not a male chauvinist pig; he has SWINE EMPATHY.
He doesn't have a dirty mind; he has INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENTS.
He is not afraid of commitment; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
Enjoy