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View Full Version : Common sense jokes

joka
02-27-2005, 01:14 AM
Why did the girl run into the door?
She forgot to open it.

Feel free to add your own, I just had to post that.
Travmire
02-27-2005, 01:36 AM
Why did I open this thread?

Because I am dumb.

jk

Three men are walking down the street, two walk into a bar, the third ducks.
Nacho
02-27-2005, 02:47 AM
^^^ lmao that is awesome
Dual
02-27-2005, 02:58 AM
Why did the man fuck the other man?

Cause he was gay.
Babycasket
02-27-2005, 06:32 AM
All these "Jokes" could be just anwsered with "because he/she can"

why do people eat fish eggs?

because they cant produce theyr own.

dont ask how i just thought of that..
camilo
02-27-2005, 12:52 PM
Donald uses Keyboard and Mickey, Mouse
surfindaeac
02-27-2005, 12:55 PM
how did saddam hussein get caught? U.S. troops found him
Schizophrenic
02-27-2005, 01:14 PM
Why are there dumb threads? Because some people don't think before they make one (Sorry, I'm in a BAD mood today )
Black Kid
02-27-2005, 01:23 PM
what do you call a bucket that's red?

A red bucket
mchief0
02-27-2005, 05:06 PM
WHy did the chicken cross the road?

Because it didn't know better
Espeon
02-27-2005, 05:12 PM
You are locked in the back of a car with only a baseball bat. What do you do?

Unlock the door.
hellraiser_427
02-27-2005, 05:19 PM
Why does this thread such so much penis?
Because joka made it and its not funny at all

ROFLPWNT
hipocritical
02-27-2005, 06:21 PM
How Does A Deaf Man Order A dildo?

He goes to the store and gets it, or purchases it off the internet.
Dual
02-27-2005, 06:24 PM
How do you kill a clown?

With a chainsaw.


That was the only funny joke in this whole thread.
Espeon
02-27-2005, 06:27 PM
If a plane crashes on the border of the US and Canada, where do you bury the survivors?

You don't bury survivors.
bob991
02-27-2005, 06:28 PM
Why can't Stevie Wonder/Ray Charles read?

He's black.
Iwillsk84food
02-27-2005, 08:56 PM
Why can't Stevie Wonder/Ray Charles read?

He's black.


hahhahahahahahha :icon_rofl
MrSlippyFist
02-27-2005, 09:05 PM
Why can't Stevie Wonder/Ray Charles read?

He's black.

ray charles also cant read because hes dead
Iwillsk84food
03-01-2005, 08:13 PM
why does Elton John where such weird clothes?

He's gay :shuffle:

____________


________(**)
________\.||_/
________.\||/
_________.||-----------~WONED~
_________/--\
_____\__/____\__/
______0_______0
DragnMastr
03-02-2005, 05:10 AM
What's round and glass?

A round glass.
CharlieakaChazz
03-02-2005, 05:20 AM
hahhahahahahahha :icon_rofl
the joke i dont get because i get they were both black but they are both blind! so that would make more sence if you said they were both blind so if you can make the real joke make sence to me please do! :help: :wtf:
Sir Budicus
03-02-2005, 08:35 AM
what do u get when u mix and alligator and a fax machine?
.
.
.
.
your moms a whore
Somethingevil
03-02-2005, 07:27 PM
What animal makes this sound, "Hi, I'm a frog."





A talking frog.
THEoneFEEM
03-02-2005, 08:10 PM
the joke i dont get because i get they were both black but they are both blind! so that would make more sence if you said they were both blind so if you can make the real joke make sence to me please do! :help: :wtf:

Why do some people try so hard?
.
.
.
.
.
I......don't.........know.
MegaSuperdude
03-02-2005, 10:17 PM
What is blue and fluffy?
Blue fluff
What do you call 2 green watermelons?
2 green watermelons
If you see a $30 bill, what do you do?
There's no such thing as a $30 bill.

I tried...
ribwich
03-02-2005, 10:34 PM
the joke i dont get because i get they were both black but they are both blind! so that would make more sence if you said they were both blind so if you can make the real joke make sence to me please do! :help: :wtf:

I'll explain the joke to you. Keep in mind that all jokes lose any sense of funnyness when they need to be explained. The fact that they are also blind is the joke. That should be your first reaction, then when you read the punchline, it surprises you and makes you laugh. Put simply, bob991 is saying that even if they weren't blind they wouldn't be able to read, because they are black. There's a joke similar to this where Hellen Keller can't drive a car because she was a woman.

bob991: hahahaha

Now to contribute to this thread...

What do Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt have in common?
Their last hit was the wall.
DiSasTeRpIEcE-
03-02-2005, 11:27 PM
What do Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt have in common?
Their last hit was the wall.

Thats not a common sense joke...

Common sense joke: Why are you gay?
A: Because you like to fuck men in the ass.
TDK12345
03-03-2005, 12:21 AM
How do you put an elephant in a refirgerator?
Open the door and put it in.

Then how do put a giraffe in the refrigerator?
Open the door, take out the elephant, and put the giraffe in.

I know it's old, but it's still good.
Iwillsk84food
03-04-2005, 11:12 PM
the joke i dont get because i get they were both black but they are both blind! so that would make more sence if you said they were both blind so if you can make the real joke make sence to me please do! :help: :wtf:


shush... jokes r supposed to be funny...
Iwillsk84food
03-04-2005, 11:14 PM
the joke i dont get because i get they were both black but they are both blind! so that would make more sence if you said they were both blind so if you can make the real joke make sence to me please do! :help: :wtf:


yea n e ways
NiorahKatra
09-15-2005, 10:11 AM
There are three blondes stranded on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish.

The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into a brown haired woman and she swims off the island.

The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one, so instantly she is turned into a black haired woman.The black haired woman builds a boat and sails off the island.

The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge.




Why can't Stevie Wonder/Ray Charles read?

He's black.


the joke i dont get because i get they were both black but they are both blind! so that would make more sence if you said they were both blind so if you can make the real joke make sence to me please do! :help: :wtf:





Oooohh... so YOU'RE the third blonde! :icon_rofl
RussianPride24
09-16-2005, 03:58 AM
Why?

Because.


That's all I got.
refoops
09-16-2005, 05:25 AM
Q. What's brown any sticky?

A. A stick

Didn't read through the other pages.
18C
09-16-2005, 05:55 AM
Two clowns walk into a bar...

both are viciously murdered.
Luftwaffle
09-18-2005, 09:52 PM
Two asians walk into a bar...
three weeks later they own it.
Mr_Bubbleman
09-20-2005, 10:40 PM
How do you put an elephant in a refirgerator?
Open the door and put it in.

Then how do put a giraffe in the refrigerator?
Open the door, take out the elephant, and put the giraffe in.

I know it's old, but it's still good.
CONT.

The king frog holds a meeting and requiers all animals to attend. Who dosen't?


The Giraffe because he's still in the fridge.


You come to a river with vicious man-eating alligators. how do you get across?


You just swim across cause all the alligators are at the meeting!


:rolleyes:
dudeinanigloo
09-21-2005, 12:53 AM
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Where's my tractor?

What did the guy say when he walked into a bar?

Ouch.

What's pink and fluffy?

Pink fluff.

How do you unify the laws of physics?

Get smarter.

How do you jump off a 500 metre cliff without a parachute?

Jump off.

You can either eat a buffalo testicle, or a cow eye. What do you do?

Don't eat either of them.

What do you do when you stub your toe?

Scream and cuss really loudly.

You are in a room with George W. Bush, Santa Claus, and a smart blonde. You have a gun with one bullet. Who do you shoot?

George Bush. The other 2 don't exist. (duhh...)
Ace187_13
09-25-2005, 04:15 AM
Why did the little girl fall off the swing?

She didn't have any arms.
John's Peter
09-25-2005, 05:01 AM
- Why is George W. Bush the Dumbest President of all Time?

- Because he was elected.
FrozenMonkey
09-25-2005, 11:24 AM
How many dead babies can you fit in a barrel?

4 1/2
Shelleybean
09-25-2005, 01:58 PM
What did the accountant say when he lost his tractor?

"I'm an accountant, I don't need a tractor."
Mr_Bubbleman
09-25-2005, 07:17 PM
- Why is George W. Bush the Dumbest President of all Time?

- Because he was elected.
Hes dumb because he got elected....? Ya, that makes sence.


What's the difference between black and white people?

There skin color.
dudeinanigloo
09-25-2005, 08:59 PM
What's the difference between black and white people?

Their skin color.
You WILL know the difference between there, they're, and their, god dammit! I'm writing you a ticket.

By the way, that was a repost (http://forum.ebaumsworld.com/showthread.php?t=94974), too. That's out of my jurisdiction, though... :shuffle:
Wild Phoenix
09-25-2005, 09:55 PM
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?





He was dead.
moldy_hair
09-28-2005, 02:09 AM
Q: Why do women wear make-up and perfume?



A: Because they're ugly and they smell like shit.
John's Peter
09-28-2005, 06:17 AM
- Who dates ugly smelly women?


- moldy_hair, obviously! :rolleyes:
Jebsus
09-28-2005, 04:33 PM
Why did Mike bite off Evander's ear?

he was hungry

Why did Mike get a huge tattoo on the side of his face?

he's black

Why couldn't Christopher Reeve do any more superman movies before he died?

because he was a douchebag.
SANHEDRIN
10-01-2005, 11:52 AM
how do you fit four faggots on a stool?




Turn the stool upside down
BaxterII
10-01-2005, 12:33 PM
what do you call a bucket that's red?

A red bucket
dude, i TOTALLY didn't see that one coming
50%rican
10-06-2005, 10:12 PM
Two asians walk into a bar...
three weeks later they own it.

LOL!!!

why did the chiken cross the road??

cause there was a greasy buttery chicken sandwich on the other side
:shuffle:
Chone
10-07-2005, 03:55 PM
What's big, red, and eats pebbles?


A big red pebble eater.
rand0m
11-19-2005, 06:55 PM
why did the little girl fall of the swing?

she had no arms ...

lol
bluflame
11-20-2005, 04:56 AM
What's gray and PHP based?
This forum!

THURPRIZE!
Zazoo
11-20-2005, 09:57 AM
What's blue and next to the beach?

The sea.
icfire
11-20-2005, 12:22 PM
Hey! Check this site out its probably the longest joke site in the world on 1 page!

http://www.newfunnyjokes.com

How do u put mms in alphabeticle order?

..u put them in a line

How do u pee in the corner of a circular room?

..How the hell did you get in there?
Teetharegay
11-20-2005, 11:59 PM
why did the boy fall of his bike?

his mom threw a fridge at him

whats white and cant climb a tree?

a fridge

why did the man cut holes in his pocket?

it wasnt on purpose, the friction of his keys eroded the lining of the pocket

what do you get when you murder a baby

a life sentace

how many babys can you fit in a garbage bin?

police reports say 4

--------------------------
A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. THe employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.





A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel stuck to his crotch.

The bartender says, "Hey, you got a wheel stuck to your crotch."

The pirate replies, "Yarr, me ship wrecked in a terrible storm and my testicles swelled with an infection while I was knocked unconscious against the wheel. Can you please call a doctor?"



So this guy dies right and he goes up to Heaven and when he's at the pearly gates he- oh wait, nevermind, he just rots in the ground.


ok im to tired to post the funnys

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2792