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View Full Version : some quite random jokes...


troutflosser
02-28-2005, 07:33 PM
Two jumper cables go into a bar and the bartender says "hey, i dont want you starting anything in here"

why couldnt hellen keller drive?
becuase she was a woman

what do you call a facist booger?
a snotzi

a pork chop walks into a bar and the bartender says "hey, we dont serve food here"

how do you make a dog drink?
put it in a blender

a dog sees a horse tied to a post. he approaches the horse and asks "hey, why are you tied to this post?" the horse responds "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG"

A man walks into a bar and sits down. A couple minutes after getting his beer, he hears a voice saying “Nice pants.” He ignores it and keeps drinking. A couple minutes later he hears the voice again “Great shirt,” it says. He can’t help himself. He says “Bartender, I keep hearing these voices saying nice things about me…where are they coming from?” the bartender responds “it’s the peanuts” the man says “what?” and the bartender says “you heard me, it’s the peanuts. Theyre complimentary”

Why did the girl fall off the swing?
she had no arms

how many babies does it take to roof a house?
depends how thin you slice them

whats the difference between 35 dead babies and a cadillac?
i dont have a cadillac in my garage


there you go

napolandynamite
02-28-2005, 08:37 PM
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
she had no arms



Thats nto funny but my friend told me his uncle told him that when he was really drunk and his uncle has an irish accent. Just imagine what that would sound like. He also had another joke that was like "How do you get a clown out of a tree? You hit him in the face with an axe. Imagine those two jokes being told to you by a drunk irish man.