Lamdun32
03-01-2005, 02:55 AM
Tom, like always; kissed his wife, crawled into bed
and fell asleep. All of a sudden, in the middle of
the night, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in
a white robe standing in front of his bed.
"What are you doing in my bedroom?... and who the hell
are you?" he asked.
"This is not your bedroom." the man replied, "I am St.
Peter, and you're in heaven."
"WHAT! Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die!
I'm too young." said Tom, "I want you to send me back
immediately."
"It's not that easy." said St.Peter. "You can only
return as a dog or a hen. The choice is your own."
Tom thought about it for a while, and figured out that
being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a
nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster
can't be that bad. "I want to return as a hen." Tom
replied. And in the next second, he found himself in a
chicken run, really nicely feathered. But now he felt
like his rear end was gonna blow. Then along came the
rooster. "Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told
me about." he said, "How do you like being a hen?"
"Well, OK I guess, but it feels like my ass is about
to explode."
"Oh that!" said the rooster, "That's only the
ovulation going on. You need to lay an egg."
"How do I do that?" Tom asked.
"Cluck twice, and then you push all you can."
Tom clucked twice and pushed more than he was good
for, and then 'plop' an egg was on the ground. "Wow!"
Tom said, "That felt really good!" So he clucked again
and squeezed. And you better believe that there was
yet another egg on the ground. The third time he
clucked, he heard his wife shout, "Tom, for Christ's
sake! Wake up! You're sh!ttin' all over the bed!"
and fell asleep. All of a sudden, in the middle of
the night, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in
a white robe standing in front of his bed.
"What are you doing in my bedroom?... and who the hell
are you?" he asked.
"This is not your bedroom." the man replied, "I am St.
Peter, and you're in heaven."
"WHAT! Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die!
I'm too young." said Tom, "I want you to send me back
immediately."
"It's not that easy." said St.Peter. "You can only
return as a dog or a hen. The choice is your own."
Tom thought about it for a while, and figured out that
being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a
nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster
can't be that bad. "I want to return as a hen." Tom
replied. And in the next second, he found himself in a
chicken run, really nicely feathered. But now he felt
like his rear end was gonna blow. Then along came the
rooster. "Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told
me about." he said, "How do you like being a hen?"
"Well, OK I guess, but it feels like my ass is about
to explode."
"Oh that!" said the rooster, "That's only the
ovulation going on. You need to lay an egg."
"How do I do that?" Tom asked.
"Cluck twice, and then you push all you can."
Tom clucked twice and pushed more than he was good
for, and then 'plop' an egg was on the ground. "Wow!"
Tom said, "That felt really good!" So he clucked again
and squeezed. And you better believe that there was
yet another egg on the ground. The third time he
clucked, he heard his wife shout, "Tom, for Christ's
sake! Wake up! You're sh!ttin' all over the bed!"