Helen Keller Jokes

[dorito]

For those who don't know, Helen Keller was a girl who was born blind, dumb (as in she can't speak) and deaf. Post Helen Keller jokes in here:

Q: What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
A: Corduroy.

Q: How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
A: They move all the furniture around.

Q: Why was Helen Keller's leg wet?
A: Her dog was blind too.

Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A: she needs the other to moan with.

Q: What did she do when she fell down the well?
A: Screamed her fingers off

Q: Why does she wear skin tight pants?
A: So you can read her lips

Q: Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
A: You would too if your name was 'Urghrrghrghr'.

Q: Have you heard of the new Helen Keller doll?
A: Wind it up and it walks into walls.

Yes, I know, they're bad and horrible. I'm a horrible person.

[Devastation]

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her when she was a kid?

They stuck a plunger in the toilet seat.

How did they punish her when she was older?

They took it out.

[raffman]

Q: Why can't Helen Keller read?
A: Cause she's a woman!

[PsiRedEye22]

What do Helen Keller and Terry Schiavo have in common?

URRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHLLLLLLLLL *dead*

[Triisomy21]

That masterbating one was hillllllllllarious!

How did Helen Keller burn her face?

She went bobbing for french fries.

[Yeti Patrol]

Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?


Niether did she.

[Spank666]

Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?


Niether did she.


Garr, you beat me to it.

[ribwich]

Hellen Keller went to town
Riding on a pony
Stuck a feather in her hat
And called it Unghghrhrhr

[Sucrose]

Have you ever seen Helen Keller's mansion?

Neither has she.

:shuffle: Thats all I've got.

[Wild Phoenix]

Q: Why can't Helen Keller read?
A: Cause she's a woman!
Its funnier if its:
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A: Cause she's a woman!

[daveo the great]

Its funnier if its:
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A: Cause she's a woman!


i was just about to post that....

[harsh87]

How do you keep Helen Keller busy?
Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

[Torgo]

How did Helen Keller burn her fingers? She tried to read the waffle iron.

How did Helen Keller burn her face? She answered the iron.

How did she burn the other side of her face? They called back.

[J ROD]

How did she loose her arm? She tried to read a stop sign.

[Halo2 Freak]

Q: Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
A: You would too if your name was 'Urghrrghrghr'.

Q: Have you heard of the new Helen Keller doll?
A: Wind it up and it walks into walls.

Why does Helen Keller have holes in her face? She tried eating with a fork.

what do you call a tennis match between helen keller and stevie wonder? endless love

Whats Helen Kellers favourite movie? Around the Block in 80 days.

If helen keller were psychic, would she call it a fourth sense?

[reznick]

Hellen Keller went to town
Riding on a pony
Stuck a feather in her hat
And called it Unghghrhrhr
:icon_rofl :icon_rofl :icon_rofl :icon_rofl :icon_rofl :icon_rofl :icon_rofl

[salsa_shark]

What did Helen Keller say about her new cheese grater?



She thought it was the most violent book she'd ever read.

[Spank666]

Hellen Keller went to town
Riding on a pony
Stuck a feather in her hat
And called it Unghghrhrhr


Thats gotta be the funniest shit I have read in a long time. It brought a tear to my eye. In fact, it brought many tears to my eyes, and a bruise to by left thigh from falling out of my chair.