Academy Award Acceptance Speech Generator

[Sultan]

Click Here (http://chickenhead.com/stuff/oscar/index.asp)

Mine:

Alex 's Acceptance Speech for the Best Foreign Language Nike Commercial Oscar:

Thank you! Oh! Thank you! I can hardly breathe! I feel so horny! And this statue - it's so full of chocolate! Oh, thank you again! I just want everyone to secretly suspect that even in my wildest pool parties, I never would have fantasized that this could ever help me get laid so much. And to the other closeted homosexual nominees, I want each of you to know how totally saddened your crushing defeat makes me feel right now!

You know when they first told me I was not the mother, I just had to take a minute and laugh about how freakish my fans have been. I guess it all just makes me feel kinda special

You know, there are so many ass-kissing two-faced harpies to thank! First off though, I want to thank the glorified prostitutes of the Academy, who looked deep within their cold, black hearts before giving me this fantastic award! Also, I want to thank Jesus, for being such a powerful force in my kitchen. And to my sister, who taught me to take life by the balls. And finally, to all the Producers I slept with - I couldn't have done it without you!

Thank you America, and good night!

[Tallboy_Sean]

This is what I came up with, I should kill myself now.

Sean's Acceptance Speech for the Best Series of Special Effects Passing as a Story Oscar:

Thank you! Oh! Thank you! I can hardly conjugate verbs! I feel so surgically enhanced! And this statue - it's so shiny! Oh, thank you again! I just want everyone to bow down before me and accept that even in my wildest pool parties, I never would have frantically prayed that this could ever be so meaningless. And to the other closeted homosexual nominees, I want each of you to know how totally saddened your fake smiles makes me feel right now!

You know when they first told me I was a God on Earth, I just had to take a Carnival Cruise and brag about how great my love scenes have been. I guess it all just makes me feel kinda special

You know, there are so many star-fucking two-faced harpies to thank! First off though, I want to bitch slap the glorified prostitutes of the Academy, who looked deep within their cold, black hearts before giving me this fantastic award! Also, I want to thank Satan, for being such a powerful force in my loins. And to the hooker with the heart of gold, who taught me to take life by the balls. And finally, to all the Producers I slept with - I couldn't have done it without you!

Thank you America, and good night!