Continue the Story

[Strider]

Ok rules are simple, dont end the story, make it funny, and dont kill it with stupidity. Simply reply to this and continue the story from the last post on this thread.

Beginning of Story:
One day little Timmy decided to go to his neighbors house and say hello. He opened the door and inside saw a strange old man. "Hey little boy, come in. Do you like popsicles? Because I've got a whole fridgerator full of them in the basement." So then little Timmy....(continue from here)

[esruC]

Ok rules are simple, dont end the story, make it funny, and dont kill it with stupidity. Simply reply to this and continue the story from the last post on this thread.

Beginning of Story:
One day little Timmy decided to go to his neighbors house and say hello. He opened the door and inside saw a strange old man. "Hey little boy, come in. Do you like popsicles? Because I've got a whole fridgerator full of them in the basement." So then little Timmy....(continue from here)

Said "Well sure I do!" So the old man walked him to the basement. "What are you doing?'' Timmy asked. The old man replies "I'm going to stick it in your ASS!" So then Timmy.......

[Solid Snake]

Said "Well sure I do!" So the old man walked him to the basement. "What are you doing?'' Timmy asked. The old man replies "I'm going to stick it in your ASS!" So then Timmy.......

Ran right out of the front door and trips and falls. The old man holding a popsicle slowly approaches then all of a sudden, a middle-aged man wearing nothing but boxers and a cape with a symbol that says "WB" carries little Timmy and flys away. The old man with the popsicle yells out, "You'll pay, Wonder Bastard!" Wonder Bastard says to Timmy, "You're safe now." Timmy, overjoyed says...

[grasica]

One day little Timmy decided to go to his neighbors house and say hello. He opened the door and inside saw a strange old man. "Hey little boy, come in. Do you like popsicles? Because I've got a whole fridgerator full of them in the basement." So then little Timmy said "Well sure I do!" So the old man walked him to the basement. "What are you doing?'' Timmy asked. The old man replies "I'm going to stick it in your ASS!" So then Timmy screams "Aaaaagh! You sick fuck!" Timmy instinctively kicks the old man in the groin, and while the old man reels back, he realizes that it didn't feel quite like it is supposed to when you kick a man, so he looks to his left and notices a curtain rod and grabs it. He prods the man witht he curtain rod, starts to giggle, and then explodes, dancing around singing "Empty pants! Empty pants!" Timmy then proceeds to

[Nobleman]

The old man with the popsicle yells out, "You'll pay, Wonder Bastard!" Wonder Bastard says to Timmy, "You're safe now." Timmy, overjoyed says... "Thanks man! But I'm still hungry." "Don't worry" Says Wonder Bastard I'm going to take you to my favorite restaurant! Timmy's eyes lighted up as they neared the restaurant and Timmy saw the big letters on the restaurants sign that said:

[JamSessions]

The old man with the popsicle yells out, "You'll pay, Wonder Bastard!" Wonder Bastard says to Timmy, "You're safe now." Timmy, overjoyed says... "Thanks man! But I'm still hungry." "Don't worry" Says Wonder Bastard I'm going to take you to my favorite restaurant! Timmy's eyes lighted up as they neared the restaurant and Timmy saw the big letters on the restaurants sign that said:

"MegaFucks" They walked into the restaurant hoping to feel their stomachs. They take a seat at the counter only to hear a loud rumble from the sky. What could that be Wonder Bastard? With fear in their eyes they look through the window to see the old pervert shooting through the air on a large throbbing...

[PsykoPatrick]

Goat. Now this was no ordinary goat, no no no. This goat came from the planet Scotland and made a living by selling encylopedias on a day to day basis. But enough about the goat. Now Timmy immediately...

[Strider]

Goat. Now this was no ordinary goat, no no no. This goat came from the planet Scotland and made a living by selling encylopedias on a day to day basis. But enough about the goat. Now Timmy immediately...
took out his magic wand and summoned Harry Potter, but instead the Batmobile came out and the Batmobile was the old man's counterpart. So the car's hydrolichs cbounced up and down and Timmy looked to his right to see W.B. had ran in fear. So timmy screamed and...

[Solid Snake]

took out his magic wand and summoned Harry Potter, but instead the Batmobile came out and the Batmobile was the old man's counterpart. So the car's hydrolichs cbounced up and down and Timmy looked to his right to see W.B. had ran in fear. So timmy screamed and...

Out of the sky came a giant piece of shit shaped like a tank with legs. It fired poop rockets that turned everything else to shit. It shot Wonder Bastard and he's now fecal matter! It shot the Batmobile. Now its the Turdmobile! Timmy ran for his life but the Shit Tank was blown up by a surface to air missile! Timmy looked in amazement that the man who shot the the tank with the Stinger missile launcher was no other than...

[BlUe_MoNdAy]

Britney Spears. She had recently admitted that she was not pregnant but it was instead, her unborn identical twin that contained the talent, growing inside her stomach. She then dropped her pants to reveal a golden cock. The golden cockeral started crowing fire, which cooked timmys nuts, which he had taken for his afternoon tea. Then a giant gorilla appeared and said...

[Brereton55]

Britney Spears. She had recently admitted that she was not pregnant but it was instead, her unborn identical twin that contained the talent, growing inside her stomach. She then dropped her pants to reveal a golden cock. The golden cockeral started crowing fire, which cooked timmys nuts, which he had taken for his afternoon tea. Then a giant gorilla appeared and said...


give me your nuts and timmy said no so the gorilla ripped little timmys sac off and he started to bleed but the undead WB came pack and put a bandaid on him! Then Timmy grew a hitler mustash and declared.......

[chickenlips]

give me your nuts and timmy said no so the gorilla ripped little timmys sac off and he started to bleed but the undead WB came pack and put a bandaid on him! Then Timmy grew a hitler mustash and declared.......


"I'm GAY, I've always been gay, and i want to fuck the world in the ass, but now I have no sack. Maybe the world would like to fuck me instead?" At which point along came a .....

[Brereton55]

"I'm GAY, I've always been gay, and i want to fuck the world in the ass, but now I have no sack. Maybe the world would like to fuck me instead?" At which point along came a .....


sac sales man who said he would sell him a sac for 5 million dollars so he decided to make 5 million dollars by.....

[refoops]

sac sales man who said he would sell him a sac for 5 million dollars so he decided to make 5 million dollars by.....

Luring kids into his house with popsicles and holding them for ransom at the...

[291099001]

Luring kids into his house with popsicles and holding them for ransom at the...

house of his. Then Mr. T jumped in with a UZI and shot the kid then the man...

[Brereton55]

house of his. Then Mr. T jumped in with a UZI and shot the kid then the man...


but timmy is not a human he is an ALIEN! So he calls forth gis army of sacless.....

[pudgmo]

but timmy is not a human he is an ALIEN! So he calls forth gis army of sacless.....

...Unics. thats right a giz army of sackless unics. You may be wondering how unics produce giz...

[Brereton55]

...Unics. thats right a giz army of sackless unics. You may be wondering how unics produce giz...\\

but timmy did not care about them and they revoleted causing mmass chaos! so timmy used his magical powers called saclesss.....

[Strider]

\\

but timmy did not care about them and they revoleted causing mmass chaos! so timmy used his magical powers called saclesss.....
bunnies, but the bunnies where traitors and they sucked up timmys powers and thus made him transform into a power ranger, so...

[doorknobopener]

power ranger timmy used his security guards wearing sun hats army to attack the bunnies, but they heard ''SMOOCHIES BOOCHIES MOTHA F*CKER'' and behold bluntman and Chronic appeared and they...

[Trevi626]

power ranger timmy used his security guards wearing sun hats army to attack the bunnies, but they heard ''SMOOCHIES BOOCHIES MOTHA F*CKER'' and behold bluntman and Chronic appeared and they...

...soon found out that they too, were becoming sackless because the bunnies were biting them off.but them quickly retrieved some bandaids and...

[Spike Lee]

tried to use them to hold thier balls together...
But alas the bunnies bit them off giving them powers like....

[evil joe]

...ur mom. So the bunnies were about to de-sac some redneck named Jethro and Jethro tried to kill the bunnies with his shot gun but it didnt work. So then he was saved by Trojan Man... then he died, so Jethro went to find the old man with the popsicles until...

[doorknobopener]

the security offiers with the sun hats attacked, but Bluntman and Chronic knew their weakness, and they knocked off their hats killing them then they heard a...

[Strider]

the security offiers with the sun hats attacked, but Bluntman and Chronic knew their weakness, and they knocked off their hats killing them then they heard a...
moan, and the moan was so loud they melted... meanwhile power ranger timmy nuked the earth, then set off to explore the galaxy in his space bike. So..

[Bigheaded Chief]

moan, and the moan was so loud they melted... meanwhile power ranger timmy nuked the earth, then set off to explore the galaxy in his space bike. So..
so the old guy with the popsicles tagged along and they ruled the universe until...

[Spike Lee]

Little Timmy woke up and realized he was dreaming.
He put on his clothes and went to his freinds house to read and ...

[Eab]

stick popsicles up his friend's dog's ass. After several hours of doing this the two boys realized that all that popsicle action to the dog made them hungry. So they looked at the half melted poop smelling popsicles and...

[Spike Lee]

decide to got to burger king and have it their way.
on the way they meet up with Pillsbury Dough Boy and they play paintball then go to burger king with dough boy until...

[Brereton55]

decide to got to burger king and have it their way.
on the way they meet up with Pillsbury Dough Boy and they play paintball then go to burger king with dough boy until...


MCDONALDS ATTACK! The war was devestating to timmy he lost his dad his mom and every other family members including his nipples. SO he go pissed and.....

[Spike Lee]

MCDONALDS ATTACK! The war was devestating to timmy he lost his dad his mom and every other family members including his nipples. SO he go pissed and.....

wrote a complain letter to Mc Donalds which read...

[doorknobopener]

You are really really really mean have fun in hell. Then Timmy sets off a bomb that destroyed every Macdonalds all over the world. Then Timmy meets an alien that is small and black and a tentacle like object on his head with an eye at an end. They talk and then the alien freezes Timmy and he wakes up to see...

[Spike Lee]

The alien waering leather pants. He asks why did u freeze me? The alien replies...

[refoops]

The alien waering leather pants. He asks why did u freeze me? The alien replies...

Because if I didn't you might of seen the truth about macdonalds... The truth that...

[Spike Lee]

Our Burgers are actually healthy, but if the world knew then Mr. Spurlock would not make money with his docu. With that Mr. Spurlock was revealed to be the owner Mcdonalds which drove timmy to a state of...

[Boo Duh!]

confusion.
The alien slaps timmy round the face with its black tentacle with the eye on the end, timmy snaps out of his confused state
he looks over his small black alien freinds shoulder and lowen behold he see's david blain appear as if from thin air,
and he appears to be holding...........

[Spike Lee]

a chucky doll, he then take the doll and stick it up the aliens...

[Strider]

a chucky doll, he then take the doll and stick it up the aliens...
left nostril, so the aliens melt into apple juice which Timmy drinks and is teleported to their home planet so timmy...

[doorknobopener]

meets bender the loveable robot and the rest of the futurama cast and they...

[Brereton55]

meets bender the loveable robot and the rest of the futurama cast and they...

say that since he has no sac he should get a sex change after he does that timmina goes to the mall and....

[CSPope]

buys a pack of Navajo hair tampons only to find out that....

[dojob]

David blain is still there with the chuckey doll. Timmina runs, but then daivid blain catches up and...

[Brereton55]

David blain is still there with the chuckey doll. Timmina runs, but then daivid blain catches up and...


spanks him on her bum , but then all hell breaks lose when the canadian military.....

[Boo Duh!]

open fire on david blain whilst timmina is fleeing the scene

david holds up his hand with the eye on it and shouts SHAZAAAM!!

and the entire canadian army is........

[Spike Lee]

unfazed by this and proceed to kill David Blaine. Timmina then decides to return to Earth as a woman only to discover...

[bigun15]

That women have lost their right to vote. She also realized that David Blaine just got killed by the Canadian Army which only consists of one old farmer who happened to have his dad's old pistol in the barn. Confused by this, she...

[Pat The Baker]

Becomes a pole dancer in Vegas and make a metric-fuck-ton of cash while doing so. She quits and spends the money on...

[Green_Day]

...a lawsuit against rockstar games stating that Grand Theft Auto killed her sister from a drive by shooting in Washington DC. The Government becomes involved and president Bush says that "everyone has a right to own guns, and whats the point in owning them if ya cant use em!" and so she loses the lawsuit, becomes broke, and....

[OmnicientEye]

...gets Shot up by the NRA who leave her bleeding in the street....

[Spike Lee]

...gets Shot up by the NRA who leave her bleeding in the street....

Untill David Blaine the Zombie come to eat the courpse untill...

[OmnicientEye]

Timmina comes back as a Zombie and Cuts David Blain into...

[doorknobopener]

a piece of cheeze by the magic cheese sword by stealing Blaines. Then Nibbler comes down and turns Timmina alive and into a boy. He tells him that he must seek his reveng and that he , Bender, and Vincent Van Go was their to help him. So Timmy grabs the magic cheese sword and...

[Brereton55]

a piece of cheeze by the magic cheese sword by stealing Blaines. Then Nibbler comes down and turns Timmina alive and into a boy. He tells him that he must seek his reveng and that he , Bender, and Vincent Van Go was their to help him. So Timmy grabs the magic cheese sword and...


slices and dices the world in thousand of peices killing billions then she moves to pluto and starts reproducing with herself. Then......

[Spike Lee]

she finds out she had a squid for a kid promptig her to ...

[Brereton55]

she finds out she had a squid for a kid promptig her to ...



have an orgasm then.....

[Spike Lee]

She hunts clones dave chappele and then she cross breeds it with the suid which end up looking like...

[Brereton55]

She hunts clones dave chappele and then she cross breeds it with the suid which end up looking like...


tom hanks!....

[Manhoe]

with no arms, so she realizes that she is not happy, moves to the sun hoping the radiation would ...

[Solid Snake]

Motivate Timmina into making a nuclear missile. Timmina starts to create the missile using the sun's radiation but the sun explodes! This caused the Milky Way to be destroyed and the gigantic blast sent Timmina to Tatooine. Horribly disfigured and alive, she goes to Mos Eisley to...

[doorknobopener]

find a cure for aids. She was told to go to planet England to find ANNA. So she hitches a ride with Ford Perfect and they only get to planet....

[Solid Snake]

Uranus, or at least the remains of Uranus. Timmina is mad. 30 years later, Timmina is now facing midlife crisis and eventually finds the coordinates to England only to find that ANNA was murdered by blind pirates. Even more angry, she moves out from planet England to venture off to planet Erectile Dysfunction. Timmina finds a mate and attempts sex with him but the planet is called Erectile Dysfunction, causing every men on the planet to have difficulties having sex. Timmina is depressed. She attempts suicide by overdosing on...

[doorknobopener]

Uranus, or at least the remains of Uranus. Timmina is mad. 30 years later, Timmina is now facing midlife crisis and eventually finds the coordinates to England only to find that ANNA was murdered by blind pirates. Even more angry, she moves out from planet England to venture off to planet Erectile Dysfunction. Timmina finds a mate and attempts sex with him but the planet is called Erectile Dysfunction, causing every men on the planet to have difficulties having sex. Timmina is depressed. She attempts suicide by overdosing on...

Couch Medicine but Vincent Van Gouh stops her and tells him that you are a boy. But Timmina tells him that he prefers to be a girl. He says ok and tells her that ANNA is still alive. He is at the planet Siame and he is there to stop an epresive king and his all female sex orgy from their 9th nuckuler world war victum planet. So Timmina, Vincent Van Gouh, Ford Perfect,Arthur Dent, Mr Ed, and Conan O' Brian prepare themselves for the fight aganist the king. As they get their Mr. Ed...

[Solid Snake]

Couch Medicine but Vincent Van Gouh stops her and tells him that you are a boy. But Timmina tells him that he prefers to be a girl. He says ok and tells her that ANNA is still alive. He is at the planet Siame and he is there to stop an epresive king and his all female sex orgy from their 9th nuckuler world war victum planet. So Timmina, Vincent Van Gouh, Ford Perfect,Arthur Dent, Mr Ed, and Conan O' Brian prepare themselves for the fight aganist the king. As they get their Mr. Ed...

Gets killed by a ballistic dildo missile! "We can't lose anyone else! Let's...charge?" yells Timmina as the comrades run away and gets slaughtered by Condom mines. "Ok...Well, it's all up to... *gasps* Conan! You're still alive!" A dying Conan O' Brian says "Whatever you do, don't look into Jay Leno's chin! You must...not..." Conan O' Brian dies. Timmina, determined fights an almost endless battle, killing so much orgy until she faces the Epresive King's apprentices, Jay Leno, Daffy Duck and...

[Strider]

Timmina, determined fights an almost endless battle, killing so much orgy until she faces the Epresive King's apprentices, Jay Leno, Daffy Duck and...
Chewbacca the transexual Whore, so...

[Brereton55]

Chewbacca the transexual Whore, so...

timmina grabs his harry dick then eats it....

[Halo2 Freak]

China with chopsticks. Once She's done she gets raped and.............

[Brereton55]

China with chopsticks. Once She's done she gets raped and.............


then timmina wants a change of scenery so she moves to corasant and gets cuaght up in the whole war and is shipped off to fight for the republic but when see goes see fines out that see is not going to fight she is the troops eternal pleasure fulfiller. So every day she gets up does it with 400 clones then....

[Spike Lee]

Plays nintendo every...

[Brereton55]

Plays nintendo every...

interval between clones having sex with her but then one day a clone ripped off all her pubic hair and then she got really mad and.....

[Halo2 Freak]

ate 3 chocolate sundays and went to mcDonalds to ......

[Spike Lee]

relize that she destroyed earth and the mcdonalds which sent her into a rage that led to...

[doorknobopener]

stare into Jay Leno's chin witch...

[Spike Lee]

all led to her waking up from a hallucination that resulted by accidently eating a popcicle that was in a dogs butt at his friends house...

[291099001]

where they made passionate love for hours, in the butt, ofcorse. So then she walked up to your mother and she

[doorknobopener]

asked for a pickle sandwitch. But the mom said no, you must earn it. She told Timmy that the only way to get the pickle sandwitch was to go to Atlantis and fight Aqua jew. So Timmy and the beetle borgs...

[Solid Snake]

asked for a pickle sandwitch. But the mom said no, you must earn it. She told Timmy that the only way to get the pickle sandwitch was to go to Atlantis and fight Aqua jew. So Timmy and the beetle borgs...

named Jack, Mac and Wallace adventure to Atlantis. Along the way, they were ambushed by the Aqua Army. Timmy realized he had no weapons but the Beetle Borgs had plasma grenades and they tried to throw it at the Aqua Army but they realized they already defeated the Aqua Army so the plasma grenades stuck on Timmy! Timmy exploded, being charred and disfigured by the massive flames. The Beetle Borgs ran away and Timmy acquired the force, put on a black costume and became Darth Timmy! Darth Timmy wanted revenge on the entire galaxy so he...

[OmnicientEye]

Built the armageddon device which would destroty the entire universe upon detonation. As the lever was pulled the universe underwent catastrophic final deton ation and Darth Timmy's vioce echoed throughout the cosmos saying,

Get out of this one mother fuckers.....

[Solid Snake]

Built the armageddon device which would destroty the entire universe upon detonation. As the lever was pulled the universe underwent catastrophic final deton ation and Darth Timmy's vioce echoed throughout the cosmos saying,"Get out of this one mother fuckers....."

But Darth Timmy didn't build an Armageddon Device! He accidently read "How to Build a Time Machine for Dumbasses" and built a Time Machine instead! As he pulled the lever, Darth Timmy went back in time to the year...

[OmnicientEye]

But Darth Timmy didn't build an Armageddon Device! He accidently read "How to Build a Time Machine for Dumbasses" and built a Time Machine instead! As he pulled the lever, Darth Timmy went back in time to the year...

2005 in his street back on earth, Timmy decided to go to his neighbors house and say hello. He opened the door and inside saw a strange old man. "Hey little boy, come in. Do you like popsicles? Because I've got a whole fridgerator full of them in the basement." So then little Timmy...

[Brereton55]

2005 in his street back on earth, Timmy decided to go to his neighbors house and say hello. He opened the door and inside saw a strange old man. "Hey little boy, come in. Do you like popsicles? Because I've got a whole fridgerator full of them in the basement." So then little Timmy...


said this aint happening all over again so he pulled out his m60 convienetly placed in the pace where his dick used to be and kill the old man 100 times over then.....

[OmnicientEye]

said this aint happening all over again so he pulled out his m60 convienetly placed in the pace where his dick used to be and kill the old man 100 times over then.....

...got back in his time machine and formed the Order of the Glorious Knights of Time who set out to battle peados across the galaxy. The order consisted of...

[Halo2 Freak]

.....Many gay clones of MJ and they took over the universe but before that they need to.............

[Mr. Pelicula]

get naked and then....

[doorknobopener]

ANNA came down and challenged the order. ANNA than fought Timmy and the MJ clone in an epic battle. But ANNA won and proclaim that Timmy must...

[Halo2 Freak]

........Anal MJ hard up the ass but they really want to make babies so they can...........

[Solid Snake]

........Anal MJ hard up the ass but they really want to make babies so they can...........

CREATE THE SON OF TIMMY!!! It appears Timmy can only make 1 baby, but out came twin brothers! Timmy dies from child birth so ANNA named the twins Morpheus and Robert. As Morpheus and Robert grow up to be just like the warrior Timmy once was...

[OmnicientEye]

...so they go on a quest to find the legendary crystal helm which would bring great power to its wearer...

[Brereton55]

...so they go on a quest to find the legendary crystal helm which would bring great power to its wearer...

when they find it they find out its not a crystal its a used condom!!...

[Solid Snake]

when they find it they find out its not a crystal its a used condom!!...

But the condom had magical semen! The magical semen had incredible sex powers. Morpheus and Robert bring it to ANNA who says...

[Brereton55]

But the condom had magical semen! The magical semen had incredible sex powers. Morpheus and Robert bring it to ANNA who says...

I have resureccted timmina now u must fight Darth condum! (out of knowhere jmp a rubbery white man with a lightdick!) Robert screams but it is to late he is cut down morpheous tries to fight back but it is to late timminas dick is to strong and morpheous is killed. Timmina walks up to his wife with his odd breathy because of the suit he is trapped in forever uggg uggg uggg.......

[Kartika]

....uggggg........

[Solid Snake]

and even more Ugguggs are coming! There is enough to destroy Darth Condom and his vibrating dildosaber. Well, the Ugguggs are imaginary but Darth Condom still dies...from leukemia!!! Timmina asks ANNA to give her amnesia so ANNA does so. Timmina, now back as Timmy, with an erased memory wakes up in...

[Brereton55]

and even more Ugguggs are coming! There is enough to destroy Darth Condom and his vibrating dildosaber. Well, the Ugguggs are imaginary but Darth Condom still dies...from leukemia!!! Timmina asks ANNA to give her amnesia so ANNA does so. Timmina, now back as Timmy, with an erased memory wakes up in...


his bed he reaches into his pants and finds that his dick is back ANNA has played a mean joke he has a 1/2 inch dick and he has 1 testicle.....

[refoops]

his bed he reaches into his pants and finds that his dick is back ANNA has played a mean joke he has a 1/2 inch dick and he has 1 testicle.....

So timmy creates a thread in ebaumsworld saying, "omg!!11 can sum1 plz make my dik wahy biga cuz myn iz like reely small now, LoL!!1" Imidiatly fellow ebaumers reply saying...

[Spike Lee]

BY POSTING THIS http://img293.echo.cx/img293/6106/badnewbiebad7jw.th.jpg (PIC

[doorknobopener]

So Timmy writes a hate letter to ebaumsworld witch went like....

[Spike Lee]

ebaumsworld estoy enojado con todos ustedes voy a garar un pistola y voy a encontrar tu y tus amigos

[OmnicientEye]

...The letter reaches the legendary EBaum who cast timmy into the pit of eternal dispair...

[doorknobopener]

their Timmy met Bobby Brady and they planend to escape and it went a little like this...

[kuyaflip]

their Timmy met Bobby Brady and they planend to escape and it went a little like this...
...they went through a door and saw...

[Brereton55]

...they went through a door and saw...


darth condum!....

[Spike Lee]

who told them to play sega or die

[bob.]

so i played the game..

[Solid Snake]

and Timmy didn't enjoy so he ran outside, ran to a nearby gas station and...

[Bigheaded Chief]

and Timmy didn't enjoy so he ran outside, ran to a nearby gas station and...
jerked off because he hasnt for a long time but while he was jerking off....

[Halo2 Freak]

......to a car he noticed there was gas coming out of it so he cloged it with his dick then..........

[Trevi626]

...all of a sudden.. sploosh! he started to fill the tanks with piss cuz he got so horny and uncontrollable. After cleaning himself up, he...

[evil joe]

...saw Brittany Spears, so he told her that there were popsicles in his basement so she went with him and he tied her up, stapled her eyelids open and put lemon juice, tobasco sauce, and itching powder in her eyes, then after giving her papercuts in her eyes and pissing all over her she tied him to the wall and stuck a funnel in his mouth and force fed him nothing but sauerkraut until he was twenty six and a half years old, that's when...

[doorknobopener]

...saw Brittany Spears, so he told her that there were popsicles in his basement so she went with him and he tied her up, stapled her eyelids open and put lemon juice, tobasco sauce, and itching powder in her eyes, then after giving her papercuts in her eyes and pissing all over her she tied him to the wall and stuck a funnel in his mouth and force fed him nothing but sauerkraut until he was twenty six and a half years old, that's when...

Weird Al broke in and saved Timmy because he also knows what it is like to be forced fed sauerkraut. So they tied Brittany Spears up and dropped her off at Mr Torture's house were she became Mr Torture's daughter's sex slave. After that Weird Al asked if Timmy if he saw a hermaphodite with his lucky snorkal. Timmy said...

[Brereton55]

Weird Al broke in and saved Timmy because he also knows what it is like to be forced fed sauerkraut. So they tied Brittany Spears up and dropped her off at Mr Torture's house were she became Mr Torture's daughter's sex slave. After that Weird Al asked if Timmy if he saw a hermaphodite with his lucky snorkal. Timmy said...

screw this and so he took wierd al and ties him to the wall timmy cut off wierd als dick and teties and then raped him for the next 26 years.....

[doorknobopener]

only to find out that it wasn't Weird Al but a robot Al. So Timmy decides not to even bother with it. So Timmy went to get some ice cream, and he..

[evil joe]

...went in the store only to find out they werent selling ice cream, they were selling frozen sperm. So instead Timmy went to the hardware store and he was the 27th costumer so he got a free ball peen hammer and used the hammer to...

[Spike Lee]

hammer awy. he is 29 years old now which means he....

[SoulS Sword]

...was hammering for 18 years...then he broke his back, got driven to the hospital, and...

[Spike Lee]

died.
The End?

[Solid Snake]

No. He miraculously woke up from a century coma where there was a war where cyborgs rebelled against humans. Timmy was so scared, he shat his hospital robe. Timmy prepared for the war and...

[Jimothy51]

the second coming of Christ came down from heaven and told him to stop the war, but..

[Solid Snake]

Satan emerged from the war-torn ground and said to Christ, "I'm commanding these cyborgs." Christ says, "Oh, have fun." and went back to heaven. The cyborgs start to eliminate many human bases until Timmy...

[evil joe]

...shat...

[canadianbacon58]

...shat...

Timmy found this random collection of people that were writing about his every move, and that really freaked him out. So he put an end to it by destroying the internet as we know it, along with all other technology. No more cyborgs, just log cabins and campfires. Stupid Timmy...

THE END

[Jimothy51]

until Timmy realizes that people need the internet for free pornography, so he goes back in time and never destroys the internet or other technology. He goes to milfhunters.com when...

[SoulS Sword]

he sees a newstand that has PLAYBOY. Tempted, he...

[Brereton55]

until Timmy realizes that people need the internet for free pornography, so he goes back in time and never destroys the internet or other technology. He goes to milfhunters.com when...

{THIS IS A NEVER ENDING STORY}

a monster comesin and rips off timmys dick again.... Timmy starts freaking out cause hes pleeding so hes thinking he is having is period so he goes to the store to buy tampons after he does....

[Brereton55]

stuff. so while walking on the street he saw two women...


whos tampon strings were showing so he went up and ripped them out causing the womens vaginas to come off! blood was everywhere! So timmy....

[Solid Snake]

Drank the blood and mutated into a T-Rex! Timmy the T-Rex then started to devour random peoples brains until the Teenage Mutant Ninja Walruses...

[Solid Snake]

T-Rex Timmy found the Turtles' weak spot! Their tongues! T-Rex Timmy started to lay eggs into their mouths and the eggs hatch and they became beavers with bananas for fingers and rayguns for heads. As the Turtles' died, Wonder Bastard's second cousin Wonder Faggot flew from the sky and...

[Solid Snake]

and explodes into a nuclear explosion! But Timmy reforms into a cow with rocket launchers for a voicebox. Everytime Timmy the cow talks, he shoots rockets! But Timmy realized something. The other half of his body had...

[nubbY]

...no life so all it did was post on pointless threads in ebaum's world's forum. Lacking any sort of social life, Timmy's other half developed a dependency on his fellow forum buddies to...

[gilead89]

To find people that were suitable for his 'transformation'. Late every night they brought Timmy the corpses of several celebrities. Timmy then commenced to skin them and to make a suit of the various celebrity skin. While doing this he derived sustence eating dead babies. Warm, supple....

[richard1970]

Warm, supple thighs of overweight ex-porn queens from the 70s. These were indeed the milk and honey he had been searching for. However, when he came across the bones of his...

[Brereton55]

Warm, supple thighs of overweight ex-porn queens from the 70s. These were indeed the milk and honey he had been searching for. However, when he came across the bones of his...

penis he became scared and ate them then went all around the world eating every single penis!.....

[OmnicientEye]

...Then as he was doing this the Gaudians of Universal Logic came to timmy and informed him that his entire life defies the laws of reason so he is henceforth earased from history.
THE END

[Brereton55]

...Then as he was doing this the Gaudians of Universal Logic came to timmy and informed him that his entire life defies the laws of reason so he is henceforth earased from history.
THE END

{DO NOT END THE STORY}

But timmy is the master of the universe and so he erases the iniverse and creates a new universe where everyone has a dick!....

[awesomeO 3000]

But upon doing this Timmy's other half gets banned from Ebaums world for being a retard and so he kills himself and rots away when WB comes along and..............

[Brereton55]

But upon doing this Timmy's other half gets banned from Ebaums world for being a retard and so he kills himself and rots away when WB comes along and..............

and ressurects timmy then they have sex for years!.....

[awesomeO 3000]

And finally timmy gets tired of him and gets the pro at child rape known as Micheal Jackson, so he went to Neverland Ranch and.......

[Solid Snake]

ate tapioca pudding. Michael Jackson suddenly shed his skin and became black again! After this, Timmy...

[awesomeO 3000]

Wanted Micheal Jackson even more and drank his "Jesus Juice" and then....

[Solid Snake]

mutated into a middle aged man with a nebula for a face. So Nebula-Faced Timmy flies off to France and eats escargot. To Timmy, escargot tastes like...

[awesomeO 3000]

His crap, so with his newly acquired mutant powers he kills the leader of France and then .......

[Solid Snake]

becomes the new king of France. Nebula-Faced Timmy then rips out the queen of France's stomach, bludgeons her with it and puts the ripped-out stomach on his head. Now his face mutated into a...

[awesomeO 3000]

spitting image of Micheal Jackson because of his experiences. He then decides to attack Germany when....

(Is it omly us posting at this thread know?)

[Solid Snake]

spitting image of Micheal Jackson because of his experiences. He then decides to attack Germany when....

(Is it omly us posting at this thread know?)

MJ-Faced Timmy changed his mind and wants to attack Antarctica and molest penguins. All of a sudden, someone bursted out of the arctic ground! It was none other than...

(Shhh!)

[strikeandburn]

The Iron Man, and he came to claim his virginity that dr suess stole, so then he....

[doorknobopener]

he and nebula face timmy decided to go to a strip joint and they saw...

[Solid Snake]

the movie Die Hard. Timmy wondered why a strip joint would play Die Hard. As Timmy and Iron Man go to the manager's room to question his wonderings...

[awesomeO 3000]

WB! WB and IronMan and WB duked it out and in the end WB won when......

[Spike Lee]

Then for no apparent reason a t-rex appeared.

[Solid Snake]

The T-Rex then shat a nuclear bomb and the world blew up. Yet Timmy survived the blast because he's invincible and he could fly. He flew to...

[maroon ballon]

that Russian/American space station where he and a dirty little cosmonaut made lots of...

[Spike Lee]

repair to the planet earth and they went back

[unibrow]

...to the station to have martinis and watch space football of the space tv. then an amber alert came on for a missing alien and they went out and searched for the missing one

[awesomeO 3000]

When Timmy realized he was a masochist. At this time timmy...

[Spike Lee]

drank kool aid for 15 minutes.

[awesomeO 3000]

Then, after drinking kool aid for 15 minutes he realized that not only it was a waste of time but that he had to take a pee. Then as hhe was going to the bathroom he.....

[Spike Lee]

Then, after drinking kool aid for 15 minutes he realized that not only it was a waste of time but that he had to take a pee. Then as hhe was going to the bathroom he.....
HAD A HEART ATTCK so he called life alert.

[awesomeO 3000]

Once seeing Nebula Faced Timmy they puked their guts out and died instantily and Timmy was left their to die until......

[Spike Lee]

Once seeing Nebula Faced Timmy they puked their guts out and died instantily and Timmy was left their to die until......
he died....

[awesomeO 3000]

When that old man with the popsicle did bad things to him and then revived him when ( Is it just us posting in this thread now?)

[guitargod]

he was masturbating to pictures of horses,and when he decided to taste his splooge...

[awesomeO 3000]

and it reminded him of vanilla pudding. Soon Nebula faced Timmy vomited from this horrific sight and so he...........

[The Raven]

ran away and started to read PLAYBOY. all of a sudden...

[doorknobopener]

went to professor Huge Knockers and she told him that...

[guitargod]

that she could make his penis three times bigger if he...

[awesomeO 3000]

Watched WB do whatever he did with tha dildo when.........

[eadgbe]

timmy was killed with a shotgun blast to the frontal lobe of his brain.

now, timmy is dead. he is not undead, and is not an alien. there is no way he can claw his way out of the cold, dank hole he is buried in.

however...

[The Raven]

a supernatural phonominan occurs. Bringing Timmy back to life! But, oh no! How will Timmy get out of the hole? Suddenly, a miracle happens and...

[Jimothy51]

his penis gets supernatural powers and he is able to pull himself up with it. He feels something weird and realizes...

[Solid Snake]

that he laid an egg! The egg suddenly hatch and it suddenly grew up into a clone of Timmy! Timmy said to the clone, "Holy shit!" The clone said, "I'm your clone. I am here to tell you the truth." Timmy then said, "What truth?" The clone Timmy said, "You are Wonder Bastard's father." Timmy exclamates, "WHAT THE FLYING SHIT? HOW WOULD YOU KNOW ALL THIS SINCE YOUR MY CLONE AND SHIT?" Clone Timmy said, "I am Wonder Bastard, therefore, I AM YOUR SON!" Timmy yells in shock, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Clone Timmy says, "Now you know everything." Timmy replies, "No. Who the hell is that Wonder Bastard who uses the dildo?" Clone Timmy explains in great detail,...

[Brereton55]

that he laid an egg! The egg suddenly hatch and it suddenly grew up into a clone of Timmy! Timmy said to the clone, "Holy shit!" The clone said, "I'm your clone. I am here to tell you the truth." Timmy then said, "What truth?" The clone Timmy said, "You are Wonder Bastard's father." Timmy exclamates, "WHAT THE FLYING SHIT? HOW WOULD YOU KNOW ALL THIS SINCE YOUR MY CLONE AND SHIT?" Clone Timmy said, "I am Wonder Bastard, therefore, I AM YOUR SON!" Timmy yells in shock, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Clone Timmy says, "Now you know everything." Timmy replies, "No. Who the hell is that Wonder Bastard who uses the dildo?" Clone Timmy explains in great detail,...

that timmys penis is to small so his clone makes him watch porn for 993983267393737361292175346 solid hours! After that timmy has a huge penis so he has sex with every one he sees! Then he draws a picture of himself!
O
l
----------------------------------------------------)---)
l
-

[Spike Lee]

Then a sudden flash of light came oft and then doc brown should up from the future.

[Solid Snake]

Doc Brown said, "Timmy! You have come back with me!" Timmy said, "Where?" Doc Brown answered, "Back to the..." All of a sudden, Venom (from Spider-Man) ate the Doc's head off. As Venom's symbiotic mask comes off, he was none other than...

[Spike Lee]

Bucknasty of the player haters club and said lets go to the slavery days...
btw:solid does that title have to do with metal gea.

[Solid Snake]

btw:solid does that title have to do with metal gea.
What do you mean by "title?"

[Spike Lee]

What do you mean by "title?"
below your name

[Solid Snake]

Oh, yeah. It's the controls for CQC when you wanna get the guy in a chokehold (circle), interrogate him (L3), and slice his throat (hold circle.)

[eadgbe]

but when timmy held the circle he found that it was the wheel of a school bus
his mangled corpse was thrown into a ditch and devoured by wolverines

but just then the wolverines...

[Solid Snake]

exploded because Timmy cannot die. Timmy continues to...

[eadgbe]

eat poison by accident and die


his family...

[awesomeO 3000]

reserects him because they are secretly witches and...........

[Stardust]

Begin to beat Timmy severly with broom sticks when all of a sudden....

[doorknobopener]

Deadites started runing throough the house whitch distracted Timmy's family so he could...

[Green_Day]

put butt plugs up their asses for the sole reason to...

[eadgbe]

stimulate the prostate gland.
however, timmy did not count on the fact that...

(btw, good luck with the flash thing)

[Stardust]

Badgers reside in the ass' of his family when he saw

[Spike Lee]

a magic portal that transported him to reality. He was so happe to be back normal, everything went good so Timmy started playing Jega with his best friend Julio. He then watched his fav. program called...

[James Bond 007]

Chix with Dicks which is shown on a Dutch channel that his chipped cable box can pick up, they had a great time tampering with each other before Timmy said to Julio.....

[Jimothy51]

I have syphilis. So you might...

[Allergic]

"...too, after our encounter in the Hottub at the Welshly Arms. I suggest you see a doctor. I know a good one called Dr McDoctor, who specialises in..."

[doorknobopener]

killing cows and selling them like burgers to fat people. The only problem is that sometimes they sue me so I kiddnap them and turn them into burgers. Thats why I sell Big Macks. After he heres this he comes to the conclusion that Dr McDocter is really Ronald McDonald and he wants Timmy to be turned into a Fish Felit, as Timmy cowers in a corner, Solid Shake breaks through the wall and he...

[ChameleoBJE]

He wonders if the biscuit is there. However, he realized that they might lose their melons. He said "Why risk it?". Then... Then.. Jack humped his friend Kyle and didn't tell him.

[shizzle69]

"how could you jack, we were bum buddies" so that guy went and killd a whole lot of people, which brings us to a newstory....

[LuLuBoo]

Once there was a magic pillow. Everywhere this pliiow went i got so it down and be fat. And no one would care. but eoungh aBOUT PILLOWS..

[fadetoblack5297]

...pillows couldn't have helped the guy I saw yesterday. Not even magic pillow. The man I speak of was struck by a vehicle. Usually I don't see these things, but I was lucky enough to see this one. Usually when it happens, I turn around to order my twistie cone and it happens...I look back and I'm like "what happened?! DAMMIT!" But today I saw it...the guy crossing the street even though he had the "not a good time to cross" signal. He was doing that crazy fast walk that I don't know how you can do it, unless you're just listening to a tambourine or maracas. So, Johnny Tambourine over there is crossing and I see the car coming and I'm like, "YES! Finally! No, don't talk to me...I'm watching this..." So the guy gets tagged right in the waist and he's flipping around in the air like Eddie Gordo from Tekken when someone doesn't know how to do the combos and is just hitting buttons. His shoes fly off. Sometimes, when you're hit by a car, your shoes will fly off, and sometimes even your pants, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants part on this particular strike.
And I tried to help, I stuck my hand out and went, "AHHH!" which, in retrospect, was probably not as effective as some things I could have said. I would have loved to have said, "You're about to get struck by a vehicle!" but I did not have time to say that.
So anyway, he lands perfectly on his feet, jumps in the air and starts walking around all embarrassed. He was trying to play it off like he didn't just get hit by a fucking car. People around him are all concerned, "Dude! Are you ok? You just got hit by a car! You should sit down...you're bleeding from the ears!" he's like, "No, I'm fine...I do that sometimes...every two weeks, I empty the blood from my own head. It's family tradition. Has anyone seen my shoes? I kicked them off in a fit of joy. When I get hit by a car, sometimes I will kick my shoes off in a fit of joy. Excuse me...I'm going to puke shards of my own pelvis into a bush over here..."
And then.....

FTB

[Solid Snake]

as I was vomitting shards of my own hipbone, something peculiar was in my vomit. It was a golden ticket which said "Cum cum yum yum." I did not understand what this was so I dropped on the floor. As it hit the floor, it transformed into a pinball machine.
This pinball machine had so many magical powers like...

[jdk]

...the buttons on my wife. No matter how hard I pressed I couldn't flipper. Then one day the pillow decided to...

[Brat]

...eat my face out. Now that was a pain. Actually, this all was a very strange acid trip I was on. I got it from a friend who.....

[MiKe]

...got it from a gypsy warlord named Olga. When I came down from the acid enough to think clearly without bleeding from my eyeballs I frantically needed something to eat. I walked downstairs to my kitchen and when I opened the fridge I couldn't believe what I saw...

[Camaro33]

...it was a massive sea crab. before i could think, it had grabbed my face with its claws. i screamed and ran to get a knife from one of the cupboards, however, i fell over chair and landed into...

[Joedudeguy]

a large stack of sharp toothpicks. As I stood up in pain and fear, I slowly made my way into the bathroom where I look for something to clean myself up. As I pulled each blood drenched toothpick out of my arm, I could hear the ear deafening sound of the sea crab crawling towards the bathroom...*click click* *click click*. I quickly locked the door and looked for a way to escape. I saw a window but it seemed barely big enough for me to fit through, but then a bright light came through the window. I covered my eyes and face just as a loud crash destroyed the bathroom wall. I looked over and there was standing in all his glory was Sunray man! "Come quickly!" he said. So I climbed through the rubble only to suddenly go blind and....

[horny]

...find myself in the clutches of sunray man traveling back through time we stoped in the sixties to chill...

[kaleuga]

...on the edge of a large precipice just south of the city in the sun, feeling the auburn rains flitter through my bee keepers hat i hear out of the corner of my mind...

[Mr. Smith]

...And everybody died. The End?????????...........

[fadetoblack5297]

Or is it??

FTB (leaving in 10 minutes...flight is in 30)

[Trevi626]

I guess not, cuz that SOB crab is still on the loose some where. THEN, out of nowhere......

[CheeseMonkeys]

Comes a huge firebreathing dragon!! It lunged forward and then....

[Trevi626]

stole the cheese from the monkey in Cheesemonkeys avatar! Then it swooped down on the crab on earth and....

[MiKe]

...melted the cheese on it with its fire-breath. With the crab stuck to the ground in a delicious web of cheese, the dragon prepared to eat it. But before he could take the first bite, Sigfreid and Roy appeared.....

[Mattjam]

And ate the nacho cheese crab before the dragon could, so the dragon decided to....

[Trevi626]

Kill Siegfreid and Roy's Tiger because it didnt think stripes looked good on it.
He then approached the super duo and said...

[Solid Snake]

"Rawr." Siegfreid and Roy then ran away and all of a sudden they enter a new dimension. It is full of purple water and...

[Trevi626]

...and red cheese. They said, hmmmmmmmm...... I'm hungry. They started to eat the red cheese, but got so fat they fell into the purple water. It was at that moment when...

[Jay Dee]

jesus comes down from the heavens and says "this thread must die" so then he smotes it

[horny]

the he goes to heaven with jesus and plays halo 6 on the x box 1080

[MyChemRomance77]

Then they take a break, and on their way to get a cold beer they fall through a space in the clouds plunging towards the earth at a fast rate screaming hysterically when all of a sudden they land in.....

[strikeandburn]

a pool of mountain dew, he gets out and he see's a hive of bee's going towards him, he ..

[Solid Snake]

Swim back in the Mountain Dew. Siegfreid and Roy drown in the process. As their souls were approaching heaven, again, there was a black hole that sucked their souls into another galaxy. The galaxy was filled with zombie dinosaurs that knew karate. They had leaders who were David Hasselhoff and...

[Trevi626]

Spongebob Squarepants. However, Spongebob was too fat to fight cuz he soaked up all the mountain dew, and fell over and crushed all of the dinosaurs.
Then Hasselhoff....

[ManiSiu]

fucked his mam and ...

[Guy LeDouche]

lived happily ever after :bow:

[Enjoi]

to be continued.....

[Viking_God]

Until a demon ate his soul. Unfortunately, the demon then suffered a bad case of heartburn, which resulted in the rupture of his esophageal tissue, and the subsequent infection took weeks to recover from. During his convalescence, his appendix burst, which required surgery. Despite this onslaught of physical ailments, the demon was able to swallow his doctor's soul as well.* But soon the demon decided that his diet of souls was not enough to sate his copious appetite, so he set off to the neverland ranch and...


****Warning***
Swallowing souls should not be attempted by any individual who has not taken a perdition-approved safety course, or any individual who is under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Failure to comply may result in severe injury or eternal damnation.

[Enjoi]

and then the end of the world came and we were all eaten by flamingoes

[Viking_God]

with nasty big pointy teeth and claws that catch. Until the jabberwockies came and

[DMMcphee]

Were blown to bits by the Aliens that escaped from are 51. But something happened that changed to Aliens lives forever. It was...

[Lady_Alexiel]

that the government (all the time hiding this from the public) had built a massive ry guy with the help of a 6 year old smart-ass kid and blown up all of the alien planets. THe aliens decide to take over earth by....

[Viking_God]

flinging dead animals at them so they could...