Are you a Democrat, Republican, or Southern Republican?

[Fred_Fury]

Question: How do you tell the difference between
Democrats, Republicans And Southern Republicans?

The answer can be found by posing the following
question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife
and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist
with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes
with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises
the knife, and charges at you. You are
carrying a Glock cal .40, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your
family.

What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the
question!

Does the man look poor? Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire
him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock
the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind
of message does this send to society and to my
children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be
content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my
family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 911?


Republican

Bang

Southern Republican

Bang , Bang , Bang , Bang , Bang , Bang , pause sound of relaoding

Bang, Bang, Bang , Bang , Bang , Bang.


Daughter: nice group Dad , Silver tip or Hollow Point.

[Viceroy]

I'm an English conservative, which is the rough equivalent of Democrat.

[ItchyItchyFace]

I'm on the center of the Flemish scale, which would be like a communist in the US.


BTW: shouldn't be this in the Jokes section?

[BurritoClock]

Southern Conservative here, from Tennessee, although I am not religious at all. I get pissed at that stereotype but oh well.

[Camaro33]

YEEEE-HAAAAAAAHHH!

i is from the south baby!

although i am not a christian or have a god...but i do hate terrorist and love NASCAR

[dudeinanigloo]

There are some people in this forum who AREN'T from the USA, hard as it may be to believe. I vote NDP (National Democratic Party) in Canada, but if I was an American, I would probably vote Democrat, or not at all.

[weirdood99]

I'm so much more of a democrat than a republican, but if I was old enough, I would vote for Nader.

[fadetoblack5297]

Southern Republican, for that poll anyway.

South-Western Republican to be exact. We'd shoot him twenty times, then kick the shit out of his dead body.

FTB

[Shameless]

Well, according to Fred's shitty assed definer, I'm a republican. But in real life I'm far more democratic.

[ndn_goat]

Fred I dealt with you before and that wasnt even funny, notice how this is the "Jokes and Humour" section. Do you wonder why everyone flamed the fuck out of you in your thread about a couple dicks burning the koran or when you say stupid things like:

why should he [Pres. Bush] waste his time? 90%+ of the black vote goes to the democrats every election.

Im not a Democrat, nor am I a Liberal (I am Canadian btw). I dont choose sides until I hear the issue but you Fred still need a lot of growing up to do. You bring shame to the Republican party because all you do is bring out the Republican stereotype of being racist redneck conservative idiots.

[Dwn.Wth.Vwls]

I would shoot the whore in the leg than record myself decapitation him with a spoon.

[jimjam5000]

im a democrat yay 100 posts

[MoDilly]

I think you guys misunderstood the joke.

This joke is bashing republicans and "southern republicans".

This is the way the creator meant it to be viewed:

It's a metaphorical joke, the metaphor being that the decision being made there, is equivalent to all decisions in the real world, he doesn't honestly think that you believe a democrat would question all those things if a man with a knife was running at you with your wife and child by your side. It's not as if Democrats can't make decisive actions when needed. What the joke was meant to portray was the fact that Democrats take everything into perspective and consideration as much as they possibly can before making a decision or an action, while at the same time being able to admit when they were wrong or made a mistake, since all of the factors are constantly chaning in everyday situations. Whilst the Republicans act on emotions and "heat of the moment" type stuff in every situation, not being able to admit when they were wrong because that would be unmanly and would cause loss of credibility. :p

Jokes are usually funny when they have a little truth to them, and neither of these interpretations are truthful whatsoever.

[JSchwie]

i see this joke as a satire of all three, poking fun at republicans and "southern republicans" for reasons why you mentioned but also the democrat's extreme empathy for someone posing a threat to them and their family.

I would shoot the guy in the knee or balls.

[MoDilly]

i see this joke as a satire of all three, poking fun at republicans and "southern republicans" for reasons why you mentioned but also the democrat's extreme empathy for someone posing a threat to them and their family.

I would shoot the guy in the knee or balls.
I would definately shoot him in the duodenum.

[Master. kirby]

just a regular republican.

1 hs over 12 body shots.

[pudgmo]

I wouldn't say I favor either party and I'm usualy somewhat liberal but according to this I'm a republican...
Bang right between the eyes, I'd save the rest of my bullets for the next one

[Sketcher]

I'm a northern Republican but I'm a redneck at heart.

I'd probably shoot a smiley face in the guy.

[PsiRedEye22]

I'm a northern Republican but I'm a redneck at heart.

I'd probably shoot a smiley face in the guy.

Northern Republican, Fascist at heart. I'd shoot to kill, if someone was running at me with a knife, even Democrats would.

[Sketcher]

Actually, I'd give the gun to my daughter and say "See honey, just like we practiced".

[pudgmo]

Actually, I'd give the gun to my daughter and say "See honey, just like we practiced".
Now thats funny, I dont care who you are.