Spartan69
09-07-2005, 10:51 PM
I found this article on http://www.rockstarvision.com. These guys crack me up, I thought you all might enjoy it:
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Phat is Good. Fat is Not
So you’re at your favorite frat house on a Friday night and you see this little hottie and her fat friend hanging out over by the bar. You build yourself up, check your hair and say to yourself “I’ve got this”
STOP RIGHT THERE!
You don’t. You’re fucked and you don’t have a chance. A word to the wise, when a hottie is hanging out with her fat friend you might as well call it a night unless you have a seriously dedicated wingman.
But why Adam, why can’t I have semi-consensual sex with that drunk hottie over there?
Well my young paduan, fat girls are the new bane of your existence. They will do everything in their power to make sure all of their friends don’t hook up with you, or anyone else for that matter. Not only will she keep you from sleeping with her friend, she is going to try and talk to you while you’re laying down your “fresh” game on her “fly” friend.
Bullshit I say! You don’t know what you’re talking about Adam. When was the last time you got laid? You make websites and play video games you loser.
Well for your information, it was last Tuesday and if you want proof that these fat chicks are an epidemic? I’ll give you proof. I was at Michigan State University for welcome week and spent one evening hanging out with… Well we’ll call her The Asian Sex Kitten. And by The Asian Sex Kitten I mean 5’2” 110lbs, MAX, long dark hair and a nice lifted ass. You know, the hot Asian girl you wish YOU were hanging out with all night. Anyways, The Asian Sex Kitten and I went out to a party and met up with a few of my friends and pretended we were married for the evening. I even talked some random guy into letting her use his private bathroom because “I didn’t want some guy busting in on my wife.” Not only that, I was told our honeymoon was going to “blow my mind”. The Asian Sex Kitten kept getting phone calls from her roommate wanting us to meet her at some frat party on the other side of campus. I figure what the hell right, maybe her roommate is hot and will want to rock one of my buddy’s socks. We walk over to this frat house and her roomie runs right up to us and gives me a funny look. At this point I knew I was fucked, she was fat. And IMMEDIATELY after I introduce myself and The Asian Sex Kitten kisses me, fat roommate takes her off to the bathroom. To make a long story short, fat roommate told some frat guys I was trying to rape her friend and I got to know those gentlemen a little better then I had originally planned.
Wow, that’s rough. Did they kick your ass? What happened next?
Luckily enough, I am pretty smooth when I’m wasted, so I managed to talk my way out of an old-school back-ally brawl. However; I spent the rest of the night getting lost and not getting laid. Though, finding Ross passed out on the floor of the bathroom, fully clothed and sleeping in a pool of his own urine made everything ok.
Avoid the embarrassment of going home alone gentlemen. Don’t hit on girls with fat friends. Take my advice, learn from my mistakes, grow as a person, go sexisle your roommate and lay that pipe.
Oh, and before I go: If she smokes, she pokes. So take up smoking, you’ll look cool AND get more ass.
Rock n’ Roll
"
"
Phat is Good. Fat is Not
So you’re at your favorite frat house on a Friday night and you see this little hottie and her fat friend hanging out over by the bar. You build yourself up, check your hair and say to yourself “I’ve got this”
STOP RIGHT THERE!
You don’t. You’re fucked and you don’t have a chance. A word to the wise, when a hottie is hanging out with her fat friend you might as well call it a night unless you have a seriously dedicated wingman.
But why Adam, why can’t I have semi-consensual sex with that drunk hottie over there?
Well my young paduan, fat girls are the new bane of your existence. They will do everything in their power to make sure all of their friends don’t hook up with you, or anyone else for that matter. Not only will she keep you from sleeping with her friend, she is going to try and talk to you while you’re laying down your “fresh” game on her “fly” friend.
Bullshit I say! You don’t know what you’re talking about Adam. When was the last time you got laid? You make websites and play video games you loser.
Well for your information, it was last Tuesday and if you want proof that these fat chicks are an epidemic? I’ll give you proof. I was at Michigan State University for welcome week and spent one evening hanging out with… Well we’ll call her The Asian Sex Kitten. And by The Asian Sex Kitten I mean 5’2” 110lbs, MAX, long dark hair and a nice lifted ass. You know, the hot Asian girl you wish YOU were hanging out with all night. Anyways, The Asian Sex Kitten and I went out to a party and met up with a few of my friends and pretended we were married for the evening. I even talked some random guy into letting her use his private bathroom because “I didn’t want some guy busting in on my wife.” Not only that, I was told our honeymoon was going to “blow my mind”. The Asian Sex Kitten kept getting phone calls from her roommate wanting us to meet her at some frat party on the other side of campus. I figure what the hell right, maybe her roommate is hot and will want to rock one of my buddy’s socks. We walk over to this frat house and her roomie runs right up to us and gives me a funny look. At this point I knew I was fucked, she was fat. And IMMEDIATELY after I introduce myself and The Asian Sex Kitten kisses me, fat roommate takes her off to the bathroom. To make a long story short, fat roommate told some frat guys I was trying to rape her friend and I got to know those gentlemen a little better then I had originally planned.
Wow, that’s rough. Did they kick your ass? What happened next?
Luckily enough, I am pretty smooth when I’m wasted, so I managed to talk my way out of an old-school back-ally brawl. However; I spent the rest of the night getting lost and not getting laid. Though, finding Ross passed out on the floor of the bathroom, fully clothed and sleeping in a pool of his own urine made everything ok.
Avoid the embarrassment of going home alone gentlemen. Don’t hit on girls with fat friends. Take my advice, learn from my mistakes, grow as a person, go sexisle your roommate and lay that pipe.
Oh, and before I go: If she smokes, she pokes. So take up smoking, you’ll look cool AND get more ass.
Rock n’ Roll
"