You can easily find them on Amazon and other sites - lubricants cost extra.
Holy crap she likes 'em big and stupid, who knew? Personally I wouldn't take her back if she begged me. If she was cheating on me with an all-pro quarterback that would be a different matter.
It's not easy being me. I have to get ball massages at night or I become sterile.
Assuming you've sucked its dick already I'd suggest doing so again and with more feeling this time. Try to make eye contact that helps a bunch.