Wow, so they are trying to pull an OJ Simpson/Glove type of defence. Brilliant.
What's them things on the posts? Are they sensors, is it an automatic gate?
You could try to be funny.
Lee him alone he a nice kid, he gown ta colledge tu git an ejacashun.
What's wrong, has your mam set up 'parental controls' on your iPad?
To be fair, you'd have to, to fuck that cabbage patch doll.
Will you burst through the door and trigger her PTSD, record it as well and stick it on glueTube.