Interview with a Redneck

evilmittens · 09-06-2006, 03:26 PM

Today I bring an Evilmittens special! Usually, I post the awards ceremonies, stories, nude pictures, and interviews in the Premium forum. Today, in honor of all you hard working students, jews, and prostitutes I offer this interview for your deep, and enlightening, consumption. If you are nice, maybe more will be posted.

Todays interview is:
DeVeSTaTioN!

DeVs background is in literature, big guns, whiskey, and diaper changing. His real name, Robert Macgrundy XIV, was quickly tossed away for his now more appropriate moniker, DeV! Our fine fellow is noted for wonderful stories, sense of humor, and his wholesome attitude is much welcomed at eBaums forum.

Now, onto the interview!!

EM: Evening DeV, how are you today?

DV: So far pretty good, spent the day editing the newspaper. Where ever it mentioned Hilary Clinton I substituted the word "Fat Cunt". So far, no one has noticed it....in over 10 years.

EM: *laughs* So, tell me about your childhood.

DV: Well, I was borned in Kentuck, about Louisville. My pappy, Bob Senior, raised be up to be a strappping lad. We would hunt during the day, and drink old sour mash at night. Finally, I started earning money when I was 6 by picking the Tabaccy plants in my front yard and selling them to random yankees.

EM: Wow, a productive youngster I see! Tell me, what are you doing with yourself now?

DV: I write a lot, fiction mostly, you know..things like how great the democratic party is and how evil the NRA is....total fiction. That doesnt pay the bills...so I mostly work as an editor at the local newspaper. Its a good gig, and allowed me information on the local community. That info sells real good. Finally, I am a father now adays, and I am teaching dEvAstAtIOn to use eBaums, drink Old Kentucky, and whistle at girls. Next year its hunting training. We will start off on the darkies...I mean squirrills, then go for deer.

EM; What a great dad DeV. I am sure lil dEv will be proud of you. Does your Divinity cause you any issues? It seems like it would make life easier, but you say that it makes life harder for yourself. Why?

DV: Well, see mitts, being Divine involves hearing prayers all day. Most of the time that is cool, but, for example, I was on my wife, just ramming it home and some fat dude from Florida sent a prayer to end his hemmeroidal suffering. That really chilled the mood for romance. Good thing I finished off quickly or my wifemay have orgasamed. I cant have that, once they get their rocks off they expect it all the time!

EM: Sage advice my friend, sage advice. Any tips for new eBaumites?

DV: Yeah, chill, read threads, dont be too critical, and for DeV's sake dont listen to anything catgarvin tells you to do.

EM: Thanks DeV! Part two will be here shortly.

whocares · 09-06-2006, 03:35 PM

Actually, DeV is messican...

evilmittens · 09-06-2006, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whocares

Actually, DeV is messican...

See, you read that wrong, he is the Messiah...you just confused the h for a N and added a C.

whocares · 09-06-2006, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by inrecop

nope...this thread just didnt do it for me...sorry

Well, nobody asked...

LOL!!

Travmire · 09-07-2006, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by inrecop

nope...this thread just didnt do it for me...sorry

I thought it was funny.

Cee · 09-07-2006, 07:05 PM

Can you please interview Jose or Haiyaaa?

Morpheus · 09-07-2006, 07:10 PM

I'm a real redneck. How did I get left out of this?

References apon request, well fuck just ask my wife. She'll tell ya.

~SP

09-06-2006, 03:26 PM	#1
evilmittens Back from Afganistan Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Saint Cloud, MN Posts: 10,965	Interview with a Redneck Today I bring an Evilmittens special! Usually, I post the awards ceremonies, stories, nude pictures, and interviews in the Premium forum. Today, in honor of all you hard working students, jews, and prostitutes I offer this interview for your deep, and enlightening, consumption. If you are nice, maybe more will be posted. Todays interview is: DeVeSTaTioN! DeVs background is in literature, big guns, whiskey, and diaper changing. His real name, Robert Macgrundy XIV, was quickly tossed away for his now more appropriate moniker, DeV! Our fine fellow is noted for wonderful stories, sense of humor, and his wholesome attitude is much welcomed at eBaums forum. Now, onto the interview!! EM: Evening DeV, how are you today? DV: So far pretty good, spent the day editing the newspaper. Where ever it mentioned Hilary Clinton I substituted the word "Fat Cunt". So far, no one has noticed it....in over 10 years. EM: laughs So, tell me about your childhood. DV: Well, I was borned in Kentuck, about Louisville. My pappy, Bob Senior, raised be up to be a strappping lad. We would hunt during the day, and drink old sour mash at night. Finally, I started earning money when I was 6 by picking the Tabaccy plants in my front yard and selling them to random yankees. EM: Wow, a productive youngster I see! Tell me, what are you doing with yourself now? DV: I write a lot, fiction mostly, you know..things like how great the democratic party is and how evil the NRA is....total fiction. That doesnt pay the bills...so I mostly work as an editor at the local newspaper. Its a good gig, and allowed me information on the local community. That info sells real good. Finally, I am a father now adays, and I am teaching dEvAstAtIOn to use eBaums, drink Old Kentucky, and whistle at girls. Next year its hunting training. We will start off on the darkies...I mean squirrills, then go for deer. EM; What a great dad DeV. I am sure lil dEv will be proud of you. Does your Divinity cause you any issues? It seems like it would make life easier, but you say that it makes life harder for yourself. Why? DV: Well, see mitts, being Divine involves hearing prayers all day. Most of the time that is cool, but, for example, I was on my wife, just ramming it home and some fat dude from Florida sent a prayer to end his hemmeroidal suffering. That really chilled the mood for romance. Good thing I finished off quickly or my wifemay have orgasamed. I cant have that, once they get their rocks off they expect it all the time! EM: Sage advice my friend, sage advice. Any tips for new eBaumites? DV: Yeah, chill, read threads, dont be too critical, and for DeV's sake dont listen to anything catgarvin tells you to do. EM: Thanks DeV! Part two will be here shortly. __________________

09-06-2006, 03:35 PM	#2
whocares Premium User Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Mexico Posts: 8,343	Actually, DeV is messican... __________________ Don't worry, be hippie! I'M BACK!

09-07-2006, 07:05 PM	#6
Cee North Strong and Free Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Canada Posts: 5,399	Can you please interview Jose or Haiyaaa? __________________ "Wiseman say, forgiveness is divine. But never pay full price for late pizza." Code: {o,o} \|)__) -"-"- O RLY? 　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ∧∧ 　　　　　　　　　　　　　( ﾟ∀ﾟ)　〜WTF BITCH?! 　　　　　　　　　　　　 ⊂　　つ　　　　　　　　　　　　　(つﾉ　　　　　　　　　　　　　 (ノ　　　　　＼　　　　　　☆ 　　　　　　　　　　　　　\|　　　　　☆ 　　　　　　　　　　(⌒ ⌒ヽ　　　/ 　　　　＼　　（´⌒　　⌒　　⌒ヾ　　　／　　　　　（'⌒　;　⌒　　　::⌒　　）　　　　　（´　　　　　）　　　　　:::　）　／　　☆─　（´⌒;:　　　　::⌒`）　:;　　）　　　　　（⌒::　　　::　　　　　::⌒　）

09-07-2006, 07:10 PM	#7
Morpheus Head Shots Fucking Rock Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 7,145	I'm a real redneck. How did I get left out of this? References apon request, well fuck just ask my wife. She'll tell ya. ~SP