Guido Guide: A visual guide on spotting guido's

tuffnuts · 11-05-2007, 01:36 PM

prepare yourself

A sad pathetic excuse for a male; not necessarily of Italian descent, but most likely; usually native to the New York/New Jersey Tri-State area.

WARDROBE: tight zipper shirts, tracksuits, designer jeans, fuzzy kangol hats, tiny hoop earrings, fake gold chains, and related Euro-trash garb and tacky cheese-wear.

NATURAL HABITAT: Known to frequent Tri-State area malls looking for club gear to waste their week's pay on (most likely spotted shopping at "Bang Bang" in Staten Island). During the day when not at their food delivery, telemarketting, or construction job, can be located at their local gym tanning or lifting weights. Can be found nightly at mainstream danceclubs they read about online (SF, Webster Hall, Etc.). Most notable for cruising the Jersey shore in an old car (Honda, Mustang, etc.) which has been tinted, painted and sports $1,000-$3,000 rims in a feeble attempt to look like new. Guido cars usually have a boomin' system through which cheesy music like freestyle, commercial club/trance and hip-hop (anything KTU plays) is loudly blasted.

GENETIC LINKS: Directly related to modern day urban-guidos, A.K.A. "wiggers," A.K.A. "wegros;" urban-guidos are white males who once exhibited the traits referenced above, but have now instead opted to keep it unreal, with wardrobes consisting of clothes from labels like FUBU and Rocawear which they bought on sale at Macy's. These individuals still listen to the same music and drive the same type of car as their predecessor; it is usually just their choice of attire and use of slang and poor speech skills that differentiate them from the classic guido. Most guidos are distrusting of non-whites despite the fact some of their attire and music can be traced to non-white origins.

PASSTIMES/RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES: Guidos enjoy beating up a non-white or homosexual while assisted by a group of 5-10 guido friends backing them up; engaging in date rape; and displaying their lack of rhythm by dancing poorly in the middle of a club's dance floor while non-guidos look on in disbelief.

Guidos today give the whole Italian culture a bad name. Gelled up blow outs, shirts extra small - bout the size my 8 year old niece would wear. Stupid sunglasses worn day and night. Usually all second generation Italians, and either don't speak of word of the language, or have learned just enough to enforce their guido image. Dark hair, waxed eyebrows, fake tans, lots of tacky jewlery. The modern day guido has usually never worked a day in their life (considered among guidos as an on going accomplishment) which leaves themselves babied by mama and papa. Thats right, no matter whos birthday it was for the BMW is still DADDY's bitch! Which brings up another point, Guidos drive BMW's Italians drive Cadillacs assholes. And even realer italians drive fiats and alfo romeos.
The guido doesnt care what his appearance really is, with a gut, skinny arms, a tight track suit and sandals he will still think he is the shit.
Every guido ive seen wears some form of womens facial make-up. Often when the guido does not have a desirable pigment to their eyes they will buy colored contacts.
The guido takes pictures of himself in poses that he wants to seem candid, often these pictures are numerous and the guido selects the 1 of 100 pics to put on his myspace page, which is littered with images of italian flags and the colors red white and green.
The common guido cannot tell you how old the Pope is, or who the leader of italy is. In fact, they probably dont even realize that when they call their father, they are saying the title "POPE" in Italian - (Pope = "papa" in italian, Dad/father = "papa" only pronounced with a sharp accent on the second P)
When guidos claim they beat someone up it is almost always a load of crap. Guidos are pussies. If they have beat someone up then they rallied up their 10-15 other guido friends and all jumped the kid. When guidos are alone they are pussies. I have beaten up 3 so far and will continue as i see fit. The 3 guidos ive beaten up, i have also humiliated them while they were crawling on the ground, messing up their hair, kicking them in the ass, and spitting on them.

Guidos are given there italian names at birth, often during childhood the guido resents this name because he does not fit in, often wanting to be referred to as pete instead of pasquale, or Fred instead of Alfredo, or Frank instead of Francesco. As the guido movement became more popular these same kids put use to their names, making themselves more italian.

My names Raffaele, ive been called Ralphie since forever. I never started correcting people and informing my birth name when i turned 16 you homos.

Real italians look down on the whole guido thing. Real Italians work hard and care about their families. Guidos dont work and hit up their parents for cash. This guido look, its all wigger shit.

Im 100% Italian but im not walking around like an asshole, Im Napolitan and Calabrese if you guidos know what that is, but way before that i'm an american, thats the flag i fly in front of my home, thats the country i live in.

Go take your crap to italy and see how you fit in.

"yo yo yo Mario!!! Whas good we hittin up dem clubs tonight?"
"Nahh yo, my dad took away my Bimma yo, he sayin i put too much mileage on it last week."
"Damn, i feel for you. You wanna hit up the italian club on 25th?"
"Nahh we got kicked out last time by dat guido "
"oh yah, aiight then, ill catch you on the flip side playboy"
"Ciao playa"

Yeti Patrol · 11-05-2007, 01:51 PM

There is a guido in my area. I always see him at the grocery store and the gym. I purposefully stare at him blank faced to make him feel uncomfortable. I like to think of him as my little retarded pet.

Maybe one day he'll try and start a fight with me and I'll drop him on his spiky fucking head.

MPMaster · 11-05-2007, 01:51 PM

Yeah dude, totes.

Daucus Karota · 11-05-2007, 01:59 PM

Southern-Italians

a.k.a the niggers of europe

duke_nukem · 11-05-2007, 02:02 PM

As a New York native. I would like to formally apologize for these greasy douchebags.

Yeti Patrol · 11-05-2007, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daucus Karota

Southern-Italians

a.k.a the niggers of europe

Hey, fuck you fagass. I'm a Southern Italian.

chalupa · 11-05-2007, 02:07 PM

Why...why are they wearing lip gloss?

Daucus Karota · 11-05-2007, 02:09 PM

quick someone find a H.P Lovecraft quote about Italian Americans

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yeti Patrol

Hey, fuck you fagass. I'm a Southern Italian.

you have been owned by The Normans,Epiros,Byzantine and the Sarecan(sp?) muslims

North Italy is great

BiteMe · 11-05-2007, 02:18 PM

I'm jealous of the jawlines.

Daucus Karota · 11-05-2007, 02:25 PM

what happened to the Italic people?

the Modern Italians looks like Mediterranean and Gypsy soup,not that there is anything wrong with that

chalupa · 11-05-2007, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daucus Karota

what happened to the Italic people?

Are those people that talk like this?

Yeti Patrol · 11-05-2007, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daucus Karota

what happened to the Italic people?

the Modern Italians looks like Mediterranean and Gypsy soup,not that there is anything wrong with that

I look like that. Am I made of win?

Daucus Karota · 11-05-2007, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chalupa

Are those people that talk like this?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Italic_people

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yeti Patrol

I look like that. Am I made of win?

if I were a women I'd want your babies

YankeesSuck · 11-05-2007, 05:19 PM

The Boston area has guidos. There are a lot of italian families. But I think the douche bag is more common to this area.

chalupa · 11-05-2007, 05:25 PM

...or do Italic people walk like they haven't had their V8?

I kid, I kid.

I'm Italic....sort of...

11-05-2007, 01:36 PM	#1
tuffnuts i love tits Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: pa Posts: 466	Guido Guide: A visual guide on spotting guido's prepare yourself A sad pathetic excuse for a male; not necessarily of Italian descent, but most likely; usually native to the New York/New Jersey Tri-State area. WARDROBE: tight zipper shirts, tracksuits, designer jeans, fuzzy kangol hats, tiny hoop earrings, fake gold chains, and related Euro-trash garb and tacky cheese-wear. NATURAL HABITAT: Known to frequent Tri-State area malls looking for club gear to waste their week's pay on (most likely spotted shopping at "Bang Bang" in Staten Island). During the day when not at their food delivery, telemarketting, or construction job, can be located at their local gym tanning or lifting weights. Can be found nightly at mainstream danceclubs they read about online (SF, Webster Hall, Etc.). Most notable for cruising the Jersey shore in an old car (Honda, Mustang, etc.) which has been tinted, painted and sports $1,000-$3,000 rims in a feeble attempt to look like new. Guido cars usually have a boomin' system through which cheesy music like freestyle, commercial club/trance and hip-hop (anything KTU plays) is loudly blasted. GENETIC LINKS: Directly related to modern day urban-guidos, A.K.A. "wiggers," A.K.A. "wegros;" urban-guidos are white males who once exhibited the traits referenced above, but have now instead opted to keep it unreal, with wardrobes consisting of clothes from labels like FUBU and Rocawear which they bought on sale at Macy's. These individuals still listen to the same music and drive the same type of car as their predecessor; it is usually just their choice of attire and use of slang and poor speech skills that differentiate them from the classic guido. Most guidos are distrusting of non-whites despite the fact some of their attire and music can be traced to non-white origins. PASSTIMES/RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES: Guidos enjoy beating up a non-white or homosexual while assisted by a group of 5-10 guido friends backing them up; engaging in date rape; and displaying their lack of rhythm by dancing poorly in the middle of a club's dance floor while non-guidos look on in disbelief. Guidos today give the whole Italian culture a bad name. Gelled up blow outs, shirts extra small - bout the size my 8 year old niece would wear. Stupid sunglasses worn day and night. Usually all second generation Italians, and either don't speak of word of the language, or have learned just enough to enforce their guido image. Dark hair, waxed eyebrows, fake tans, lots of tacky jewlery. The modern day guido has usually never worked a day in their life (considered among guidos as an on going accomplishment) which leaves themselves babied by mama and papa. Thats right, no matter whos birthday it was for the BMW is still DADDY's bitch! Which brings up another point, Guidos drive BMW's Italians drive Cadillacs assholes. And even realer italians drive fiats and alfo romeos. The guido doesnt care what his appearance really is, with a gut, skinny arms, a tight track suit and sandals he will still think he is the shit. Every guido ive seen wears some form of womens facial make-up. Often when the guido does not have a desirable pigment to their eyes they will buy colored contacts. The guido takes pictures of himself in poses that he wants to seem candid, often these pictures are numerous and the guido selects the 1 of 100 pics to put on his myspace page, which is littered with images of italian flags and the colors red white and green. The common guido cannot tell you how old the Pope is, or who the leader of italy is. In fact, they probably dont even realize that when they call their father, they are saying the title "POPE" in Italian - (Pope = "papa" in italian, Dad/father = "papa" only pronounced with a sharp accent on the second P) When guidos claim they beat someone up it is almost always a load of crap. Guidos are pussies. If they have beat someone up then they rallied up their 10-15 other guido friends and all jumped the kid. When guidos are alone they are pussies. I have beaten up 3 so far and will continue as i see fit. The 3 guidos ive beaten up, i have also humiliated them while they were crawling on the ground, messing up their hair, kicking them in the ass, and spitting on them. Guidos are given there italian names at birth, often during childhood the guido resents this name because he does not fit in, often wanting to be referred to as pete instead of pasquale, or Fred instead of Alfredo, or Frank instead of Francesco. As the guido movement became more popular these same kids put use to their names, making themselves more italian. My names Raffaele, ive been called Ralphie since forever. I never started correcting people and informing my birth name when i turned 16 you homos. Real italians look down on the whole guido thing. Real Italians work hard and care about their families. Guidos dont work and hit up their parents for cash. This guido look, its all wigger shit. Im 100% Italian but im not walking around like an asshole, Im Napolitan and Calabrese if you guidos know what that is, but way before that i'm an american, thats the flag i fly in front of my home, thats the country i live in. Go take your crap to italy and see how you fit in. "yo yo yo Mario!!! Whas good we hittin up dem clubs tonight?" "Nahh yo, my dad took away my Bimma yo, he sayin i put too much mileage on it last week." "Damn, i feel for you. You wanna hit up the italian club on 25th?" "Nahh we got kicked out last time by dat guido " "oh yah, aiight then, ill catch you on the flip side playboy" "Ciao playa" Last edited by tuffnuts; 11-05-2007 at 01:47 PM..

11-05-2007, 01:51 PM	#3
MPMaster Scotchgaurd Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Boognishville Posts: 5,142	Yeah dude, totes. __________________ Music I've Heard

11-05-2007, 02:02 PM	#5
duke_nukem ಠ_ಠಠ_ಠಠ_ಠಠ_ಠಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Marshill Posts: 4,179	As a New York native. I would like to formally apologize for these greasy douchebags. __________________ *SHAKE IT BABY!*

11-05-2007, 02:18 PM	#9
BiteMe dickhead Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: uk Posts: 2,366	I'm jealous of the jawlines. __________________

11-05-2007, 05:19 PM	#14
YankeesSuck black and gold Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Mass Posts: 7,743	The Boston area has guidos. There are a lot of italian families. But I think the douche bag is more common to this area. __________________ BuckFutter is my noob, he got dem tits. Bonenator is a bad ass! My Bruins Site - Myspace

11-05-2007, 01:51 PM	#2
Yeti Patrol Behind a Serrated Grin Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Connecticunt Posts: 10,639	There is a guido in my area. I always see him at the grocery store and the gym. I purposefully stare at him blank faced to make him feel uncomfortable. I like to think of him as my little retarded pet. Maybe one day he'll try and start a fight with me and I'll drop him on his spiky fucking head.