All Jokes Here.

gUy · 08-05-2004, 03:25 AM

KEEP ALL THE FUCKING ONE JOKES IN HERE. STOP MAKING NEW THREADS. THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS THE JOKES FOURM GOT CRAPPY.

Three men are captured my cannibals. 1 German, 1 French, and 1 Amercian. the chief said, "Due to our holiday, I shall grant each of you 1 wish, then you get whipped 30 times on the back, then you can go."

The German says, "I want a pillow strapped to my back." The chief agrees, straps a pillow on the German's back and gives him 30 lashes. Around the 10th lash, the pillow gave out and the German walked off crying.

The French say, "I want 2 pillows strapped to my back." The chief agrees, straps 2 pillows on the French's back and gives him 30 lashes. Around the 20th, last, the pillo gave out and the French walked off limping.

The chief says to the Amercian, "Since you are from a great country, I shall give you 2 wishes." The Amercian says, "Thank you. For my first wish, I want not 30 lashes, but 100 lashes." The chief says, "Not only you come from a great country, you are noble to, what is your last wish?" The Amercian replys, "Strap the frenchman to my back."

Eminem · 08-05-2004, 02:26 PM

that was great guy. i laughed. rep for you

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the
Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the
story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building
materials for his home.

She read. "...And so the pig went up to the man with the
wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I
have some of that straw to build my house?"

The teacher paused, then asked the class, "And what do you think
the man said?"

One little boy raised his hand and said excitedly, "I know! I
know! He said, 'Holy Shit! A talking pig!'"

gUy · 08-05-2004, 02:36 PM

i'm pretty sure you guys have heard this before, but whatever.

Seamus was badly burned at the fire at the bar, and his two friends, Patrick and Myers were called to the morgue to identify the burnt body. Patrick goes in first and says, "He's burnt pretty bad, might be him. Turn him over." So the doctor turns him and Patrick replys, "It's not him."

Myers was called in and says, "He's burnt pretty bad, might be him. Turn him over." So the doctor turns him and Myers says, "It's not him." The doctor is amazed and calls both of em together and says, "How do you know its not Seamus?" Patrick replys, "He has to arseholes. Every time the three of us walk in a bar, the bartender yells out, 'ITS SEAMUS AND HIS TWO ARSEWHOLES!'"

edit: more i found this one here. \/

A man walks in to a bar, seething with rage.
He asks the barman for a large whisky & knocks it back, then demands a refill, and necks that one too.

The barman asks, "Without meaning to interfere, are you having a bad day?"

"Bad day! Too right, I've just found out my wife is cheating on me with a younger man! I could kill her I'm so mad!"

"Calm Down!" whispers the barman, "There's no need for YOU to kill her, have a chat with Arty over there, he'll knock any one for a pound!"

The man walks over to Arty, tell him the story and pays his pound.
Arty asks "How will I recognise her?"

"Well," says the man, "every Thursday she goes to Sainsbury's and does the weekly shop, she always wears her Burberry Scarf & purple hat."

Thursday comes along, Arty is outside Sainsbury's as planned, out walks a woman wearing the Burberry scarf & a purple hat.
Without hesitation Arty runs up to her, and stranglers her until she is dead.
Then, just as he was about to run away, out comes a second woman wearing the same Burberry scarf & purple hat.
Arty thinks to himself "Well he did pay me a pound to off his wife, I'd best make sure I do the job proper", and with that he runs over to the second woman and strangles her too.

The next minute the security men come running in, having seen the kafuffle on the CCTV, they restrain Arty until the police arrive to take him away.
The next day the event was all over the newspapers...
.... "Arty-chokes two for a pound at Sainsbury's"

08-05-2004, 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gUy

KEEP ALL THE FUCKING ONE JOKES IN HERE. STOP MAKING NEW THREADS. THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS THE JOKES FOURM GOT CRAPPY.

Three men are captured my cannibals. 1 German, 1 French, and 1 Amercian. the chief said, "Due to our holiday, I shall grant each of you 1 wish, then you get whipped 30 times on the back, then you can go."

The German says, "I want a pillow strapped to my back." The chief agrees, straps a pillow on the German's back and gives him 30 lashes. Around the 10th lash, the pillow gave out and the German walked off crying.

The French say, "I want 2 pillows strapped to my back." The chief agrees, straps 2 pillows on the French's back and gives him 30 lashes. Around the 20th, last, the pillo gave out and the French walked off limping.

The chief says to the Amercian, "Since you are from a great country, I shall give you 2 wishes." The Amercian says, "Thank you. For my first wish, I want not 30 lashes, but 100 lashes." The chief says, "Not only you come from a great country, you are noble to, what is your last wish?" The Amercian replys, "Strap the frenchman to my back."

^thats funny!

Eminem · 08-06-2004, 12:10 AM

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to
kiss each other goodnight, the guy starts feeling a little
horny.

With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the
wall and, smiling, he says to her, "Darling, would you give me a
blowjob?"

Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"

Him: "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"

Her: "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?

Him: "Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"

Her: "No way. It's just too risky!"

Him (horny as hell): "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"

Her: "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"

Him: "Oh yes you can. Please?"

Her: "No, no. I just can't"

Him: "I beg you..."

Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's
little sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in
a sleepy voice she says, "Dad says to go ahead and give him a
blowjob. Otherwise I can do it. Or if need be, dad says he can
come down himself and do it. But for God's sake tell him to take
his hand off the intercom!"

gUy · 08-06-2004, 12:24 AM

lil jonny jokes. cant get enough of em

One day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit.

"Now class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit, and you tell what fruit I'm talking about."

"Okay, first: it's round, plump and red."

Of course, Johnny raised his hand high, but the teacher, wisely ignored him and picked Deborah, who promptly answered, "An apple."

The teacher replied, "No, Deborah, it's a beet, but I like your thinking."

"Now for the second. It's soft, fuzzy,and colored red and brownish."

Johnny is hopping up and down in his seat trying to get the teacher to call on him. But she skips him again and calls on Billy.

"Is it a peach?" Billy asks. "No, Billy, I'm afraid it's a potato. But I like your thinking," the teacher replies.

"Here's another: it's long, yellow, and fairly hard."

By now Johnny is about to explode as he waves his hand frantically. The teacher skips him again and calls on Sally.

"A banana," she says.

"No," the teacher replies, "it's a squash, but I like your thinking."

Johnny is kind of irritated now, so he speaks up loudly. "Hey, I've got one for you teacher; let me put my hand in my pocket. Okay, I've got it: it's round, hard, and it has a head on it."

"Johnny!" she cries. "That's disgusting!"

"Nope," answers Johnny, "it's a quarter, but I like your thinking!"

gUy · 08-06-2004, 12:40 AM

another one. i might post more tomorrow

So these students are in a classroom and the teacher says "Im gonna go along the alphabet and you give me a word for each letter". So they start and for A everyone is raising their hand, but little Sisqo in the back is jumping up and down and she says, "Im not gonna call on little Sisqo he has a dirty mouth, he'll say something like ass" . So she calls on tommy and he says Apple,, very good. Same thing for B little Sisqo jumping up and down, but she doesnt call on him. Then finally they get to R and everyone has had a turn, except little Sisqo so she says "He has a dirty mouth hes gonna say something like......" then she thinks that there is no bad words that start with R so she is all reasured so she calls on him. "Ok little Sisqo give me a word for R" and little Sisqo says "A rat, A BIG MOTHA FUCKING RAT"

Jay-Z · 08-06-2004, 12:55 AM

A guy is in a bar and yells out, "Lawyers are assholes!"

A second guy stands up and yells, "I take offense to that buddy!"

The guy says, "What are you a lawyer?"

The second guy says, "No, I'm an asshole!"

Eminem · 08-06-2004, 01:17 PM

Priest: What is your sin child?
Girl : I confess father, I called a man a son-of-a-bitch...
Priest: Why?
Girl : Father he touched me....
Priest: Like this????
(The priest then touches the girl...)
Girl : Yes!!!
Priest: But that is no reason to call a man a son-of-a-bitch.
Girl : Yes but then he stripped me naked...
Priest: Like this???
(The priest then rips the girl's clothes off.)
Girl : Yes!!!
Priest: But that is no reason to call a man a son-of-a-bitch.
Girl : Yes but then he had sex with me...
Priest: Like this???
(The priest then has wild sex with her.)
Girl : Yes exactly like that!!!
Priest: But that is no reason to call a man a son-of-a-bitch.
Girl : But father he had genitle herpees!!!
Priest: That son-of-a-bitch!!!!!

08-07-2004, 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eminem

Priest: What is your sin child?
Girl : I confess father, I called a man a son-of-a-bitch...
Priest: Why?
Girl : Father he touched me....
Priest: Like this????
(The priest then touches the girl...)
Girl : Yes!!!
Priest: But that is no reason to call a man a son-of-a-bitch.
Girl : Yes but then he stripped me naked...
Priest: Like this???
(The priest then rips the girl's clothes off.)
Girl : Yes!!!
Priest: But that is no reason to call a man a son-of-a-bitch.
Girl : Yes but then he had sex with me...
Priest: Like this???
(The priest then has wild sex with her.)
Girl : Yes exactly like that!!!
Priest: But that is no reason to call a man a son-of-a-bitch.
Girl : But father he had genitle herpees!!!
Priest: That son-of-a-bitch!!!!!

ahh thats to funny..

08-07-2004, 02:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gUy

KEEP ALL THE FUCKING ONE JOKES IN HERE. STOP MAKING NEW THREADS. THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS THE JOKES FOURM GOT CRAPPY.

Why, I wouldn't want to be seeking high and low through this thread just to find a new joke. I think there should be a new thread for every joke. Its just a lot easier that way.

08-07-2004, 07:18 PM

there r 3 blondes sitting the a bar. one is 4rm russia the other 2 r 4rm america. the russian blonde said we were the frist one's 2 go 2 outer space. the american blonde said well we where the frist one's 2 land on the moon. the third blonde said and we will be the frist one's 2 go 2 the sun. the 2 other blonde's looked at each other and said what? you can't go 2 the sun it is 2 hot. the blonde replied don t worry we will go a night!!

Splatter · 08-07-2004, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gUy

KEEP ALL THE FUCKING ONE JOKES IN HERE. STOP MAKING NEW THREADS. THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS THE JOKES FOURM GOT CRAPPY.

Oh I get it.The jokes and humor forum should be only one thred.?!?
Thanks for clearing that up.I can see it getting better by the minute.

gUy · 08-08-2004, 02:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaCk-MeOpH

there r 3 blondes sitting the a bar. one is 4rm russia the other 2 r 4rm america. the russian blonde said we were the frist one's 2 go 2 outer space. the american blonde said well we where the frist one's 2 land on the moon. the third blonde said and we will be the frist one's 2 go 2 the sun. the 2 other blonde's looked at each other and said what? you can't go 2 the sun it is 2 hot. the blonde replied don t worry we will go a night!!

holy shit, ive felt as if some just crapped out letters in my eyes.

3 guys are walking along when suddenly, Satan appers. Satan says, "I have 3 dicks right now, you must touch it, and if you make it melt, you get to go to hell." So the first guy comes along does his thing, dick melts, he goes to hell. The second guys does his thing, dick melts, he goes to hell too. When the third guy does his thing, the dick does not melt. Satan is baffled and utters, "WHAT? how can my dick not melt?" the third guy sharply responds, "Melts in your mouth, not in your hands."

08-08-2004, 02:48 AM

Heres four for now

A Straight guy goes into a bar and two steps in he realizes its a gay bar, but he thinks "what the heck, I want a drink" so he goes to the bar and the bartender asks "whats the name of your penis" the guy says "I dont wanna talk about that" the bartender gets angry and says "you gotta have a name to get a drink, so he looks over to his left and sees two gay guys shareing a margarita and asks them the name of there penis, the first guy says "Ford, Good Shape and for Quality" the second guy says "Chevy, Like a rock" So the Straight guy turns to the bartender and says "I got a name!" the bartender says "what is it?" the straight guy says "Secret" The bartender in question says " What does that mean?" the Straight guy says " Strong enough for a man but made for a woman"

A guy in the hospital was taking a series of tests and had a personality of making false alarm trips to the bathroom, he then one day had a big diarrhea on his sheets, he then paniced and jumped up and curled the sheets to a ball and hucked them out the window, there was a drugadict who was walking around the property when the sheets fell on to him and started waving his arms, yelling and cursing until the sheets were at his feet, a security gaurd who watched the incident asked "what the fuck just happened" the drugadict replied "I just beat the shit out of a ghost"

On the firstday of Grade 1 the teacher calls out " Okay class, this is grade 1 we dont talk baby talk anymore then changes the topic to know what everyone did on their summer vacation, she points to little suzie and she says "I rode on a choo-choo" No, we dont speak baby talk anymore, then points to little billy and he says "I saw the fisheis with my mommy" the teacher getting angry points to joe and he says "I went to see winnie the shit"

One morning a family wakes up and the dad goes to have a shower, his kid asks "can I come in with you?" the dad says "ok, just don`t look down" the kid then looks down and asks "Whats that?" the dad says "Thats my ummmmm van" then the kids mom gets in the shower and the kid asks "can I come in with you" the mom says "ok, dont look up or down" he then looks up and asks "what are those" the mom says "those are my ummmmm mountains" then he looks down and asks "whats that" the mom says "ummmm thats my ummm garage" Later at night the mom and dad are having sex and the kid barges in and asks "I had a nightmare, can I sleep with you? the dad says "ok, just dont look under the covers" he then looks under the covers and yells "daddy, turn your headlights on your goin into mommy`s garage!"

08-05-2004, 03:25 AM	#1
gUy Old Guard Join Date: May 2003 Location: CA Posts: 1,334	All Jokes Here. KEEP ALL THE FUCKING ONE JOKES IN HERE. STOP MAKING NEW THREADS. THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS THE JOKES FOURM GOT CRAPPY. Three men are captured my cannibals. 1 German, 1 French, and 1 Amercian. the chief said, "Due to our holiday, I shall grant each of you 1 wish, then you get whipped 30 times on the back, then you can go." The German says, "I want a pillow strapped to my back." The chief agrees, straps a pillow on the German's back and gives him 30 lashes. Around the 10th lash, the pillow gave out and the German walked off crying. The French say, "I want 2 pillows strapped to my back." The chief agrees, straps 2 pillows on the French's back and gives him 30 lashes. Around the 20th, last, the pillo gave out and the French walked off limping. The chief says to the Amercian, "Since you are from a great country, I shall give you 2 wishes." The Amercian says, "Thank you. For my first wish, I want not 30 lashes, but 100 lashes." The chief says, "Not only you come from a great country, you are noble to, what is your last wish?" The Amercian replys, "Strap the frenchman to my back." __________________ Last edited by gUy; 08-05-2004 at 02:37 PM..

08-05-2004, 02:26 PM	#2
Eminem Come Undone Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: West Virginia Posts: 932	that was great guy. i laughed. rep for you One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read. "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?" The teacher paused, then asked the class, "And what do you think the man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said excitedly, "I know! I know! He said, 'Holy Shit! A talking pig!'" __________________ As I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I shall fear no evil, because I am the baddest motherfucker in the God-damn valley.

08-05-2004, 02:36 PM	#3
gUy Old Guard Join Date: May 2003 Location: CA Posts: 1,334	i'm pretty sure you guys have heard this before, but whatever. Seamus was badly burned at the fire at the bar, and his two friends, Patrick and Myers were called to the morgue to identify the burnt body. Patrick goes in first and says, "He's burnt pretty bad, might be him. Turn him over." So the doctor turns him and Patrick replys, "It's not him." Myers was called in and says, "He's burnt pretty bad, might be him. Turn him over." So the doctor turns him and Myers says, "It's not him." The doctor is amazed and calls both of em together and says, "How do you know its not Seamus?" Patrick replys, "He has to arseholes. Every time the three of us walk in a bar, the bartender yells out, 'ITS SEAMUS AND HIS TWO ARSEWHOLES!'" edit: more i found this one here. \/ A man walks in to a bar, seething with rage. He asks the barman for a large whisky & knocks it back, then demands a refill, and necks that one too. The barman asks, "Without meaning to interfere, are you having a bad day?" "Bad day! Too right, I've just found out my wife is cheating on me with a younger man! I could kill her I'm so mad!" "Calm Down!" whispers the barman, "There's no need for YOU to kill her, have a chat with Arty over there, he'll knock any one for a pound!" The man walks over to Arty, tell him the story and pays his pound. Arty asks "How will I recognise her?" "Well," says the man, "every Thursday she goes to Sainsbury's and does the weekly shop, she always wears her Burberry Scarf & purple hat." Thursday comes along, Arty is outside Sainsbury's as planned, out walks a woman wearing the Burberry scarf & a purple hat. Without hesitation Arty runs up to her, and stranglers her until she is dead. Then, just as he was about to run away, out comes a second woman wearing the same Burberry scarf & purple hat. Arty thinks to himself "Well he did pay me a pound to off his wife, I'd best make sure I do the job proper", and with that he runs over to the second woman and strangles her too. The next minute the security men come running in, having seen the kafuffle on the CCTV, they restrain Arty until the police arrive to take him away. The next day the event was all over the newspapers... .... "Arty-chokes two for a pound at Sainsbury's" __________________ Last edited by gUy; 08-05-2004 at 03:25 PM..

08-06-2004, 12:10 AM	#5
Eminem Come Undone Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: West Virginia Posts: 932	One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight, the guy starts feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, "Darling, would you give me a blowjob?" Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!" Him: "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" Her: "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught? Him: "Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!" Her: "No way. It's just too risky!" Him (horny as hell): "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?" Her: "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!" Him: "Oh yes you can. Please?" Her: "No, no. I just can't" Him: "I beg you..." Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's little sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says, "Dad says to go ahead and give him a blowjob. Otherwise I can do it. Or if need be, dad says he can come down himself and do it. But for God's sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom!" __________________ As I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I shall fear no evil, because I am the baddest motherfucker in the God-damn valley.

08-06-2004, 12:24 AM	#6
gUy Old Guard Join Date: May 2003 Location: CA Posts: 1,334	lil jonny jokes. cant get enough of em One day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit. "Now class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit, and you tell what fruit I'm talking about." "Okay, first: it's round, plump and red." Of course, Johnny raised his hand high, but the teacher, wisely ignored him and picked Deborah, who promptly answered, "An apple." The teacher replied, "No, Deborah, it's a beet, but I like your thinking." "Now for the second. It's soft, fuzzy,and colored red and brownish." Johnny is hopping up and down in his seat trying to get the teacher to call on him. But she skips him again and calls on Billy. "Is it a peach?" Billy asks. "No, Billy, I'm afraid it's a potato. But I like your thinking," the teacher replies. "Here's another: it's long, yellow, and fairly hard." By now Johnny is about to explode as he waves his hand frantically. The teacher skips him again and calls on Sally. "A banana," she says. "No," the teacher replies, "it's a squash, but I like your thinking." Johnny is kind of irritated now, so he speaks up loudly. "Hey, I've got one for you teacher; let me put my hand in my pocket. Okay, I've got it: it's round, hard, and it has a head on it." "Johnny!" she cries. "That's disgusting!" "Nope," answers Johnny, "it's a quarter, but I like your thinking!" __________________

08-06-2004, 12:40 AM	#7
gUy Old Guard Join Date: May 2003 Location: CA Posts: 1,334	another one. i might post more tomorrow So these students are in a classroom and the teacher says "Im gonna go along the alphabet and you give me a word for each letter". So they start and for A everyone is raising their hand, but little Sisqo in the back is jumping up and down and she says, "Im not gonna call on little Sisqo he has a dirty mouth, he'll say something like ass" . So she calls on tommy and he says Apple,, very good. Same thing for B little Sisqo jumping up and down, but she doesnt call on him. Then finally they get to R and everyone has had a turn, except little Sisqo so she says "He has a dirty mouth hes gonna say something like......" then she thinks that there is no bad words that start with R so she is all reasured so she calls on him. "Ok little Sisqo give me a word for R" and little Sisqo says "A rat, A BIG MOTHA FUCKING RAT" __________________

08-06-2004, 01:17 PM	#9
Eminem Come Undone Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: West Virginia Posts: 932	Priest: What is your sin child? Girl : I confess father, I called a man a son-of-a-bitch... Priest: Why? Girl : Father he touched me.... Priest: Like this???? (The priest then touches the girl...) Girl : Yes!!! Priest: But that is no reason to call a man a son-of-a-bitch. Girl : Yes but then he stripped me naked... Priest: Like this??? (The priest then rips the girl's clothes off.) Girl : Yes!!! Priest: But that is no reason to call a man a son-of-a-bitch. Girl : Yes but then he had sex with me... Priest: Like this??? (The priest then has wild sex with her.) Girl : Yes exactly like that!!! Priest: But that is no reason to call a man a son-of-a-bitch. Girl : But father he had genitle herpees!!! Priest: That son-of-a-bitch!!!!! __________________ As I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I shall fear no evil, because I am the baddest motherfucker in the God-damn valley.

08-07-2004, 07:18 PM	#12
JaCk-MeOpH Guest Posts: n/a	there r 3 blondes sitting the a bar. one is 4rm russia the other 2 r 4rm america. the russian blonde said we were the frist one's 2 go 2 outer space. the american blonde said well we where the frist one's 2 land on the moon. the third blonde said and we will be the frist one's 2 go 2 the sun. the 2 other blonde's looked at each other and said what? you can't go 2 the sun it is 2 hot. the blonde replied don t worry we will go a night!! Last edited by JaCk-MeOpH; 08-07-2004 at 07:20 PM..

08-08-2004, 02:48 AM	#15
Nexon Guest Posts: n/a	Heres four for now A Straight guy goes into a bar and two steps in he realizes its a gay bar, but he thinks "what the heck, I want a drink" so he goes to the bar and the bartender asks "whats the name of your penis" the guy says "I dont wanna talk about that" the bartender gets angry and says "you gotta have a name to get a drink, so he looks over to his left and sees two gay guys shareing a margarita and asks them the name of there penis, the first guy says "Ford, Good Shape and for Quality" the second guy says "Chevy, Like a rock" So the Straight guy turns to the bartender and says "I got a name!" the bartender says "what is it?" the straight guy says "Secret" The bartender in question says " What does that mean?" the Straight guy says " Strong enough for a man but made for a woman" A guy in the hospital was taking a series of tests and had a personality of making false alarm trips to the bathroom, he then one day had a big diarrhea on his sheets, he then paniced and jumped up and curled the sheets to a ball and hucked them out the window, there was a drugadict who was walking around the property when the sheets fell on to him and started waving his arms, yelling and cursing until the sheets were at his feet, a security gaurd who watched the incident asked "what the fuck just happened" the drugadict replied "I just beat the shit out of a ghost" On the firstday of Grade 1 the teacher calls out " Okay class, this is grade 1 we dont talk baby talk anymore then changes the topic to know what everyone did on their summer vacation, she points to little suzie and she says "I rode on a choo-choo" No, we dont speak baby talk anymore, then points to little billy and he says "I saw the fisheis with my mommy" the teacher getting angry points to joe and he says "I went to see winnie the shit" One morning a family wakes up and the dad goes to have a shower, his kid asks "can I come in with you?" the dad says "ok, just don`t look down" the kid then looks down and asks "Whats that?" the dad says "Thats my ummmmm van" then the kids mom gets in the shower and the kid asks "can I come in with you" the mom says "ok, dont look up or down" he then looks up and asks "what are those" the mom says "those are my ummmmm mountains" then he looks down and asks "whats that" the mom says "ummmm thats my ummm garage" Later at night the mom and dad are having sex and the kid barges in and asks "I had a nightmare, can I sleep with you? the dad says "ok, just dont look under the covers" he then looks under the covers and yells "daddy, turn your headlights on your goin into mommy`s garage!" Last edited by Nexon; 08-08-2004 at 03:12 AM..