Resume - George W. Bush

Smoothy · 08-08-2004, 03:15 AM

Mark Latham has famously described George W Bush as "the most incompetent and dangerous president in living memory." While the following resume would seem to support this stance, only a student with left-wing tendencies would have the time to put it together:

RESUME - GEORGE W. BUSH
EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE

LAW ENFORCEMENT:

I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been
"lost" and is not available.

MILITARY:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

COLLEGE:

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became president after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.

In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by a U.S. President.

I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron. My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.--this is true.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.--actually what happened is the World Court is changing into the International Criminal Court--because the US wants to be a part of the court, but not
be open to having the US have charges brought up against them, they have temporarily ceased negotiating with the countries involved in and taking part in the establishment of the ICC. So, in other words, the US wants to be able to establish the laws within the ICC, practice those laws within the ICC, but not have those laws applied to our country.

I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.--Guantanomo Bay.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

I set the record for fewest number of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period.

After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most disliked country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world
history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families - in wartime.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

-----------------------------------------------------

08-08-2004, 03:54 AM

The only thing that stood out for me was he was a cheerleader...Is that true? gimme some links (prefferably to sites about how hes a cheerleader)

PsiRedEye22 · 08-08-2004, 03:58 AM

Cheerleader's weren't the same thing back then. He was in his school's pep squad. It wasn't that uncommon for males.

08-08-2004, 05:43 AM

Still, it is pretty funny.

MGselwonK · 08-08-2004, 06:33 AM

yea i was gonna comment on that cheerleader thing to, with him being so opposed to gays

PsiRedEye22 · 08-08-2004, 07:37 AM

Since when is being on the pep squad gay? I'm bisexual, and people call me "gay" 10 times more than any guy that's been on our pep squad. Close minded people kthxbai.

Viceroy · 08-08-2004, 08:18 AM

Yeah, I've seen it all before.

Jay-Z · 08-08-2004, 10:39 AM

But how much of that can actually be considered his fault?

Smoothy · 08-08-2004, 01:23 PM

Cheerleader link:
http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2000/dem.../stories/bush/

eh just type in to google if u want more i dont have time

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jay-Z

But how much of that can actually be considered his fault?

wtf are you stupid?

PsiRedEye22 · 08-08-2004, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smoothy

wtf are you stupid?

Are YOU stupid? I've said this a million times: Checks and balances prevent any one man from fucking up the country. There isn't one thing you can pin solely on Bush. Period.

EJAckass · 08-08-2004, 04:05 PM

You are absolutely BLIND if you can not see how bad this man had ruined this country ... PsiRedEye22 you are unbelieveable!! HE LIED TO THE ENTIRE NATION!!! get it through your head he will go down in history and 1 on the worst presidents EVER.. what are you talking about you cant put sole blame on him here you go...

- I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been
"lost" and is not available.
(How could that possibly not be his fault)

- I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
(The National Guard lied right? it wasn't bush's fault)

- I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.(Yeah he must have been falsely accoused it wasnt his fault)

I set the record for fewest number of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.
(He was real sick he couldn't right?)

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period.
(They made him go on vacation he really didn't want to

)

I could sit here and list them all day!!! The only thing that its not 100% his fault is

- With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became president after losing by over 500,000 votes.

(because his daddy and his brother had a little somethin to do with that you think its just coinsidence that the only state that had a problem counting any votes was the state that his brother is the govenor of.. pretty weird huh?)

This president is all about OIL and will let nothing get in his way. I mean our Vice President was the President and CEO of Halliburton you got to be out of your mind to not think they are all about oil

and PsiRedEye22 if your a queer anyway why are you supporting this guy he likes queers about as much as the KKK likes blacks.. but it is no suprise what so ever that you are a pole smoker believe me

PsiRedEye22 · 08-08-2004, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EJAckass

You are absolutely BLIND if you can not see how bad this man had ruined this country ... PsiRedEye22 you are unbelieveable!! HE LIED TO THE ENTIRE NATION!!! get it through your head he will go down in history and 1 on the worst presidents EVER.. what are you talking about you cant put sole blame on him here you go...

- I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been
"lost" and is not available.
(How could that possibly not be his fault)

- I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
(The National Guard lied right? it wasn't bush's fault)

- I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.(Yeah he must have been falsely accoused it wasnt his fault)

I set the record for fewest number of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.
(He was real sick he couldn't right?)

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period.
(They made him go on vacation he really didn't want to

)

I could sit here and list them all day!!! The only thing that its not 100% his fault is

- With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became president after losing by over 500,000 votes.

(because his daddy and his brother had a little somethin to do with that you think its just coinsidence that the only state that had a problem counting any votes was the state that his brother is the govenor of.. pretty weird huh?)

This president is all about OIL and will let nothing get in his way. I mean our Vice President was the President and CEO of Halliburton you got to be out of your mind to not think they are all about oil

and PsiRedEye22 if your a queer anyway why are you supporting this guy he likes queers about as much as the KKK likes blacks.. but it is no suprise what so ever that you are a pole smoker believe me

Right off the back: Fuck you you goddamn homophobe. I'm not GAY, you close-minded shitwipe. Next:

Stop using the shit he did before his presidency to judge him as a president. A DUI in 1976 means DICK. Presidents did cocaine wayyy before Bush had a DUI. Go bitch about them.

Next, the WMD's. The one thing liberals whack off to over and over. He has bad intelligence. The President made an oopsie. Go whack off about it, the war was still justified. If you don't think so, go join your ravenous bandana wearing, poncho-toting, anti-war, potsmoking hippie friends about bitching about the war. We saved Iraqis. You don't care, that makes you a fuckwit. America volunteered to be the world's police force. We didn't have to get involved in Korea, or WW1, or Nam, but we did. The Iraqi's are greatful to us. How can that not make you proud to be American?

Next, if the President was about oil I'd be aaaalllll for it. Gas prices would go down, and they don't use the number of cars we do.

For the rest of them, go find me proof, or shut the hell up.

Smoothy · 08-08-2004, 07:00 PM

Honestly there is no point in talking to you if you dont realize what he has done and what he is responsible for. I bet you cant even vote anyway, I hope so at least. The thing that worries me is that there are alot of americans who think like you

Chewy · 08-08-2004, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PsiRedEye22

Cheerleader's weren't the same thing back then. He was in his school's pep squad. It wasn't that uncommon for males.

Yeah but it still wasn't all that cool not like playing football. I think the schools chess club team was cooler to be on.

08-08-2004, 08:43 PM

Those lines are no jokes. Move the thread to current events

08-08-2004, 03:15 AM	#1
Smoothy Honorary Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Montreal Posts: 802	Resume - George W. Bush Mark Latham has famously described George W Bush as "the most incompetent and dangerous president in living memory." While the following resume would seem to support this stance, only a student with left-wing tendencies would have the time to put it together: RESUME - GEORGE W. BUSH EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE LAW ENFORCEMENT: I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available. MILITARY: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam. COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader. PAST WORK EXPERIENCE: I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas. ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS: I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money. I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history. With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became president after losing by over 500,000 votes. ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT: I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record. I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week. I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury. I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history. I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period. I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period. I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month. I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her. I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by a U.S. President. I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron. My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision. I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed. I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history. I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts. I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history. I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government. I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history. I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.--this is true. I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.--actually what happened is the World Court is changing into the International Criminal Court--because the US wants to be a part of the court, but not be open to having the US have charges brought up against them, they have temporarily ceased negotiating with the countries involved in and taking part in the establishment of the ICC. So, in other words, the US wants to be able to establish the laws within the ICC, practice those laws within the ICC, but not have those laws applied to our country. I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.--Guantanomo Bay. I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election). I set the record for fewest number of press conferences of any President since the advent of television. I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history. I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most disliked country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history. I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind. I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community. I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families - in wartime. In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends. I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security. I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," WMD. I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice. RECORDS AND REFERENCES: All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view. All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. ----------------------------------------------------- __________________ Fights Thread(over a 1.5 million views) Awesome Vids: Rally-Masters Owned >

08-08-2004, 06:33 AM	#5
MGselwonK Registered User Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 1,628	yea i was gonna comment on that cheerleader thing to, with him being so opposed to gays __________________ "Regarding so many people diagnosed with colon cancer, the doctor's response was, 'Do you see any weeds in those beautiful planted soybeans?'"

08-08-2004, 08:18 AM	#7
Viceroy Nute Gunray Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: UK Posts: 2,429	Yeah, I've seen it all before. __________________ This happy breed of men, this little world, This precious stone set in the silver sea, - Shakespeare, on Britain Have a nice day.

08-08-2004, 07:00 PM	#13
Smoothy Honorary Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Montreal Posts: 802	Honestly there is no point in talking to you if you dont realize what he has done and what he is responsible for. I bet you cant even vote anyway, I hope so at least. The thing that worries me is that there are alot of americans who think like you __________________ Fights Thread(over a 1.5 million views) Awesome Vids: Rally-Masters Owned >

08-08-2004, 03:54 AM	#2
Bajee Guest Posts: n/a	The only thing that stood out for me was he was a cheerleader...Is that true? gimme some links (prefferably to sites about how hes a cheerleader)

08-08-2004, 03:58 AM	#3
PsiRedEye22 Banned Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Marlborough, MA Posts: 8,977	Cheerleader's weren't the same thing back then. He was in his school's pep squad. It wasn't that uncommon for males.

08-08-2004, 05:43 AM	#4
DragnMastr Guest Posts: n/a	Still, it is pretty funny.

08-08-2004, 07:37 AM	#6
PsiRedEye22 Banned Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Marlborough, MA Posts: 8,977	Since when is being on the pep squad gay? I'm bisexual, and people call me "gay" 10 times more than any guy that's been on our pep squad. Close minded people kthxbai.

08-08-2004, 04:05 PM	#11
EJAckass Bammed Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: U.S. Posts: 152	You are absolutely BLIND if you can not see how bad this man had ruined this country ... PsiRedEye22 you are unbelieveable!! HE LIED TO THE ENTIRE NATION!!! get it through your head he will go down in history and 1 on the worst presidents EVER.. what are you talking about you cant put sole blame on him here you go... - I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available. (How could that possibly not be his fault) - I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam. (The National Guard lied right? it wasn't bush's fault) - I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.(Yeah he must have been falsely accoused it wasnt his fault) I set the record for fewest number of press conferences of any President since the advent of television. (He was real sick he couldn't right?) I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. (They made him go on vacation he really didn't want to ) I could sit here and list them all day!!! The only thing that its not 100% his fault is - With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became president after losing by over 500,000 votes. (because his daddy and his brother had a little somethin to do with that you think its just coinsidence that the only state that had a problem counting any votes was the state that his brother is the govenor of.. pretty weird huh?) This president is all about OIL and will let nothing get in his way. I mean our Vice President was the President and CEO of Halliburton you got to be out of your mind to not think they are all about oil and PsiRedEye22 if your a queer anyway why are you supporting this guy he likes queers about as much as the KKK likes blacks.. but it is no suprise what so ever that you are a pole smoker believe me

08-08-2004, 08:43 PM	#15
<th> Guest Posts: n/a	Those lines are no jokes. Move the thread to current events