You ever Wonder

08-13-2004, 06:39 AM

..Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

..Why you don't ever see the headline…
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?

..Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

..Why doctors call what they do "practice"?

..Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?

..Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

..Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

..Why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?

..Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?

..Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

..Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used to make the indestructible black box?

..Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

..Why they are called “apartments” when they are all together?

..Why we spend hundreds of thousands of dollars a year to repair and maintain something we continue to call a “FREEWAY”?

..If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

and next time you go on a trip ask yourself; If flying on a plain is so safe why do they call the airport the “TERMINAL”?

08-13-2004, 06:45 AM

All of those are rediculously old. Post some new stuff and I'll rep ya

.

08-13-2004, 06:49 AM

aiight here,

Where do they get the seeds to grow seedless oranges?

How come there is a mailbox in front of the post office?

If we can make semi-conductors, why can't we make complete conductors?

Why go to all the trouble of building a hidden driveway when the highway department puts up a "Hidden Drive" sign?

How come we can never just rant or just rave? Why do we always have to do both? It makes me sick and tired.

If a mime fell in the woods, would he make a sound?

Why do radio stations interrupt 60 minutes of uninterrupted music to tell you that you're listening to 60 minutes of uninterrupted music?

If your nose runs and your feet smell, are you built upside down?

What did moths congregate around before light bulbs were invented?

If Count Dracula can't see his reflection in the mirror, why is his hair always so neatly combed?

Why are America's parks and great outdoors administered by the Department of the Interior?

Does an invisible ink stain have to be cleaned with invisible spot remover?

If you put a chameleon in a mirrored box, what color would he be ... clear?

Can you call someone on the other side of the international date line and get tomorrow's winning lottery numbers?

Why do we use the phrase "recorded earlier"? Is there ANY other time to record something?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If Seven-Eleven is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat, and dropped him from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open Here"? What is the protocol if the package says, "Open Somewhere Else"?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

08-13-2004, 06:51 AM

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side!

08-13-2004, 07:13 AM

Who invited the noob?

Anyway, I'm not trying to hound you, I just have nothing better to do at 3 in the morning. I still reped you though.

ANYWAY, HERE ARE COMEBACKS TO THE ABOVE LIST, IN SAME ORDER

genetic modification

for complaints

they're too big

more people admire the landscape

We do, you just don't hear about it

who cares? As long as he bleeds

Because they're the ones supplying the 60 minutes.

Either way your kissing two cheeks and a hole.

Fire, it was alot more entertaining too.

Magic.

because people are morons.

No, just bleach.

no, he'd be mirrored.

Maybe, but you'd still have a better chance of getting hit by lightning.

No.

See #11

Yes, they just don't go between states.

It doesn't matter, your still screwed.

No, you need a bigger gun, your not James Bond.

Yes, it was very nice.

He walks.

They're gonna take a nap eventualy.

No, cows don't laugh.

maybe the pan is TEFLON

Better question, if you drop an anvil after the cat, will the cat die before, or after it hits the pavement?

What are headlights doing on something that can go the speed of light?

Then you open somewhere else, man your dumb

.

in case your blind in your left eye.

because once again, people are morons.

see above

because otherwise you can't hear yourself think.

The Stranger · 08-13-2004, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Da Thing

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side!

Do u really wanna know why the chicken crossed the road?

You were telling jokes on his side!

08-14-2004, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shr00lvlyyy

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

ok whoever came up with this one is a fucking moron

08-14-2004, 12:22 PM

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/newbie4.jpg

08-16-2004, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shr00lvlyyy

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

The headlights would go ahead of you, because the speed of light is a constant relative to your speed.

-How can something be new AND improved. If its new, then it's not improved, if its improved, its not new.

-Why do they call it a black box if its really orange?

-Why can't you put a laser printer in stun mode?

08-16-2004, 11:34 PM

If marijuana is a plant, why do people call it weed?

gUy · 08-17-2004, 04:55 AM

i know this is old and on eBaums world, so what, blow me.

if 4/5 people suffer from dirahea, does the 5th person enjoy it?

03-21-2005, 08:09 PM

haha, this is great.

03-21-2005, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shr00lvlyyy

aiight here,

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Wow, that is so true. Just, just... so true.

Nacho · 03-22-2005, 12:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ribwich

If marijuana is a plant, why do people call it weed?

woah...thats good...real good :thud:

killer scott · 03-22-2005, 12:23 AM

classic Gallagher!

Why is it a pair of panties but only one bra?

08-13-2004, 06:51 AM	#4
Da Thing Guest Posts: n/a	Joke Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

08-13-2004, 07:13 AM	#5
DragnMastr Guest Posts: n/a	Who invited the noob? Anyway, I'm not trying to hound you, I just have nothing better to do at 3 in the morning. I still reped you though. ANYWAY, HERE ARE COMEBACKS TO THE ABOVE LIST, IN SAME ORDER genetic modification for complaints they're too big more people admire the landscape We do, you just don't hear about it who cares? As long as he bleeds Because they're the ones supplying the 60 minutes. Either way your kissing two cheeks and a hole. Fire, it was alot more entertaining too. Magic. because people are morons. No, just bleach. no, he'd be mirrored. Maybe, but you'd still have a better chance of getting hit by lightning. No. See #11 Yes, they just don't go between states. It doesn't matter, your still screwed. No, you need a bigger gun, your not James Bond. Yes, it was very nice. He walks. They're gonna take a nap eventualy. No, cows don't laugh. maybe the pan is TEFLON Better question, if you drop an anvil after the cat, will the cat die before, or after it hits the pavement? What are headlights doing on something that can go the speed of light? Then you open somewhere else, man your dumb . in case your blind in your left eye. because once again, people are morons. see above because otherwise you can't hear yourself think. Last edited by DragnMastr; 08-13-2004 at 07:16 AM..

03-22-2005, 12:23 AM	#15
killer scott Skinker Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Nebraska Posts: 608	classic Gallagher! Why is it a pair of panties but only one bra? __________________ My band, Skink's website www.myspace.com/skinkrocks<--our myspace http://www.purevolume.com/skink more recordings

08-13-2004, 06:39 AM	#1
shr00lvlyyy Guest Posts: n/a	You ever Wonder ..Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? ..Why you don't ever see the headline… "Psychic Wins Lottery"? ..Why "abbreviated" is such a long word? ..Why doctors call what they do "practice"? ..Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98? ..Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? ..Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker? ..Why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food? ..Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor? ..Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? ..Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used to make the indestructible black box? ..Why sheep don't shrink when it rains? ..Why they are called “apartments” when they are all together? ..Why we spend hundreds of thousands of dollars a year to repair and maintain something we continue to call a “FREEWAY”? ..If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? and next time you go on a trip ask yourself; If flying on a plain is so safe why do they call the airport the “TERMINAL”?

08-13-2004, 06:45 AM	#2
DragnMastr Guest Posts: n/a	All of those are rediculously old. Post some new stuff and I'll rep ya .

08-13-2004, 06:49 AM	#3
shr00lvlyyy Guest Posts: n/a	aiight here, Where do they get the seeds to grow seedless oranges? How come there is a mailbox in front of the post office? If we can make semi-conductors, why can't we make complete conductors? Why go to all the trouble of building a hidden driveway when the highway department puts up a "Hidden Drive" sign? How come we can never just rant or just rave? Why do we always have to do both? It makes me sick and tired. If a mime fell in the woods, would he make a sound? Why do radio stations interrupt 60 minutes of uninterrupted music to tell you that you're listening to 60 minutes of uninterrupted music? If your nose runs and your feet smell, are you built upside down? What did moths congregate around before light bulbs were invented? If Count Dracula can't see his reflection in the mirror, why is his hair always so neatly combed? Why are America's parks and great outdoors administered by the Department of the Interior? Does an invisible ink stain have to be cleaned with invisible spot remover? If you put a chameleon in a mirrored box, what color would he be ... clear? Can you call someone on the other side of the international date line and get tomorrow's winning lottery numbers? Why do we use the phrase "recorded earlier"? Is there ANY other time to record something? Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? If Seven-Eleven is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose? If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat, and dropped him from a height, what would happen? If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? You know how most packages say "Open Here"? What is the protocol if the package says, "Open Somewhere Else"? Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

08-14-2004, 12:22 PM	#8
DragnMastr Guest Posts: n/a	http://www.ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/newbie4.jpg

08-16-2004, 11:34 PM	#10
ribwich Guest Posts: n/a	If marijuana is a plant, why do people call it weed?

08-17-2004, 04:55 AM	#11
gUy Old Guard Join Date: May 2003 Location: CA Posts: 1,334	i know this is old and on eBaums world, so what, blow me. if 4/5 people suffer from dirahea, does the 5th person enjoy it? __________________

03-21-2005, 08:09 PM	#12
tHe_de3peStscAR Guest Posts: n/a	haha, this is great.