Some jokes i found...

Thurst · 08-17-2004, 05:42 PM

I'm a Photographer, Not a...

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.

The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, "Let's go!" The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.

"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make several low-level passes."

"Why?" asked the nervous pilot.

"Because I'm going to take pictures!" yelled the photographer. "I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!"

The pilot replied, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"

Elephant Time

A young man is wandering around the zoo looking at the animals. He suddenly remembers about an appointment that he scheduled. Unfortunately, he forgets his watch. He searchs for someone who could give him the time.

He sees a zoo keeper standing next to an elephant. ''Excuse me sir,'' says the young man ''do you know what time it is?''

The zoo keeper reaches under the elephant, grabs his balls and starts playing with them.

''Mmmmm, it is about 3:00'' the zoo keeper responds.

The young man looks at him in awe, ''How did you know that?'' The zoo keeper looks back at the man, ''I looked at the clock on the wall right behind you.''

Drunk Driver

A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.

''I can't do that, officer.''

''Why not?''

''Because I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.''

''Okay, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station.''

''Can't do that either, officer.''

''Why not?''

''Because I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup.''

''Alright, we could get a blood sample.''

''Can't do that either, officer.''

''Why not?''

''Because I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood I could die.''

''Fine then, just walk this white line.''

''Can't do that either, officer.''

''Why not?''

''Because I'm drunk.''

RckWorld · 08-17-2004, 08:43 PM

Ha ha ha funny jokes #3 is the best

08-17-2004, 09:05 PM

The third one was great.

08-17-2004, 09:07 PM

third one was hilarious

Bigheaded Chief · 08-17-2004, 09:31 PM

i liked them all

08-18-2004, 12:47 PM

The 3rd one doesn't make sense. He's a diabetic and he can't give blood? How does he check his (insert item) levels then?

Great jokes though.

08-19-2004, 02:09 AM

there good but i didnt get the second one

08-19-2004, 02:16 PM

Maybe the caretaker and the elephant had somethin goin on........*gag*

08-17-2004, 05:42 PM	#1
Thurst Registered User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Toronto, Ontario Posts: 185	Some jokes i found... I'm a Photographer, Not a... A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire. The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, "Let's go!" The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically. "Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make several low-level passes." "Why?" asked the nervous pilot. "Because I'm going to take pictures!" yelled the photographer. "I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" The pilot replied, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?" Elephant Time A young man is wandering around the zoo looking at the animals. He suddenly remembers about an appointment that he scheduled. Unfortunately, he forgets his watch. He searchs for someone who could give him the time. He sees a zoo keeper standing next to an elephant. ''Excuse me sir,'' says the young man ''do you know what time it is?'' The zoo keeper reaches under the elephant, grabs his balls and starts playing with them. ''Mmmmm, it is about 3:00'' the zoo keeper responds. The young man looks at him in awe, ''How did you know that?'' The zoo keeper looks back at the man, ''I looked at the clock on the wall right behind you.'' Drunk Driver A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer. ''I can't do that, officer.'' ''Why not?'' ''Because I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.'' ''Okay, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station.'' ''Can't do that either, officer.'' ''Why not?'' ''Because I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup.'' ''Alright, we could get a blood sample.'' ''Can't do that either, officer.'' ''Why not?'' ''Because I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood I could die.'' ''Fine then, just walk this white line.'' ''Can't do that either, officer.'' ''Why not?'' ''Because I'm drunk.''

08-17-2004, 09:31 PM	#5
Bigheaded Chief Dance banana Dance Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: the troll capital Posts: 276	i liked them all __________________ Why don't presidents fight the war? Why do they always send the poor? On my sweet revenge Will be yours for the taking It's in the making baby My cock is much bigger than yours My cock can walk right through the door With a feeling so pure It's got you screaming back for Hey man look at me rockin' out I'm on the radio Hey man look at me rockin' out I'm on the video It's a violent pornography Choking chicks and sodomy The kinda shit you get on your TV

08-17-2004, 08:43 PM	#2
RckWorld Registered User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Fall River , Massachusettes Posts: 560	Ha ha ha funny jokes #3 is the best

08-17-2004, 09:05 PM	#3
ribwich Guest Posts: n/a	The third one was great.

08-17-2004, 09:07 PM	#4
Roland Guest Posts: n/a	third one was hilarious

08-18-2004, 12:47 PM	#6
5hun 03 Guest Posts: n/a	The 3rd one doesn't make sense. He's a diabetic and he can't give blood? How does he check his (insert item) levels then? Great jokes though.

08-19-2004, 02:09 AM	#7
slope_style Guest Posts: n/a	there good but i didnt get the second one

08-19-2004, 02:16 PM	#8
Roland Guest Posts: n/a	Maybe the caretaker and the elephant had somethin goin on........gag