Jay leno 2003 best of headlines

Best of jay lenos headlines from 2003 if you like it give me a rep

hope you like it

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter

(Too easy: no comment)

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

(You think?)

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

(Seems a bit severe but whatever works, I guess)

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

(too easy..no comment)

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

(and you thought you hated YOUR job)

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
(lazy bastards!)

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

(This should cut court costs)


War Dims Hope for Peace

(duuhhh)


If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

(see previous comment)


Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

(see two previous comments)


Enfield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
(seventeen knife wounds and twelve bullet holes aroused the cops' suspicions.)

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
(and all this timeI thought they were held up by duct tape.)

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
(they could probably charge their batteries off HIM)

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

(apparently the original group wasn't obese enough)

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

(probably the freeze-dried beans)

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

(test group says they taste like chicken)

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

(now THAT'S dedication)

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

(and you thought Columbine was tragic!)

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

(They claim all the doorways are too short..)

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

(Alert police detectives concluded that many of them may have already been dead.)