Jesus, how the fuck don't we have a thread to review movies? We've got tardo threads for all this nerdie-ass shit but no thread to review movies! 
Kong - Skull Island
(Spoiler Alert)
I was not very optimistic about this movie and avoided watching it for a long time. It would be hard to top the Peter Jackson CGI in the last one, but I gave it a go.
The movie started out okay. It did a pretty good job at building suspense and developing characters. When they finally get to the island is a big let down. It actually ruined the movie before it really got started.
So they are dropping these "seismic charges" under the pretense of mapping the island. Apparently, the real motive is to flush out Kong. First off, do you really need to "flush out" a 100 story monster ape? Doesn't make sense at all. Very poor writing.
The second major pitfall is the end result of dropping the seismic charges. They are flying about 25 helicopters as a unit. Kong attacks the helicopters once they start dropping the charges. He manages to destroy all 25 helicopters. All the helicopters decided to fly into the 200 ft tall monkey rather than get the fuck out of there. Again, horrible writing. They were just forcing it through there.
After the horrid beginning, the movie picks up and recovers some ground. The creatures on the island were kind of interesting and the soldiers interactions with them. They couldn't even really get that right though.
The evil bone creatures in the movie were the most retarded looking things ever. They were anatomically retarded. Two fucking legs, off-balance, a tail, and a beak? WTF kind of retarded monster is that? I'd like to slap the shit out of the guy that thought that up. I can only imagine all of the better ideas that were scrapped in favor of that retarded Dodo Bird mother fucker.
The native people were not terrible but did not live up to the natives in the previous movie. Granted, the scene of first-contact with the natives in the last movie was hard to top. John C Reilly was kind of funny as the retard he typically plays. No qualms there.
The final battle was okay. but it was retarded how the humans were incorporated into the fight, like they were really helping out..... The girl in the movie is pretty hot but was walking around in push-up bra the whole movie. The scene where Kong walks up to the tracker and the girl at night was absolutely awful. It was cringe-worthy.
This movie suffered from way to much Samuel Jackson. The movie sort of becomes about him at the end. He shouldn't have been such a central character. The guy is fucking cancer to a movie.
Overall the movie sucks pretty bad but is mildy entertaining.
5/10
Kong - Skull Island
(Spoiler Alert)
I was not very optimistic about this movie and avoided watching it for a long time. It would be hard to top the Peter Jackson CGI in the last one, but I gave it a go.
The movie started out okay. It did a pretty good job at building suspense and developing characters. When they finally get to the island is a big let down. It actually ruined the movie before it really got started.
So they are dropping these "seismic charges" under the pretense of mapping the island. Apparently, the real motive is to flush out Kong. First off, do you really need to "flush out" a 100 story monster ape? Doesn't make sense at all. Very poor writing.
The second major pitfall is the end result of dropping the seismic charges. They are flying about 25 helicopters as a unit. Kong attacks the helicopters once they start dropping the charges. He manages to destroy all 25 helicopters. All the helicopters decided to fly into the 200 ft tall monkey rather than get the fuck out of there. Again, horrible writing. They were just forcing it through there.
After the horrid beginning, the movie picks up and recovers some ground. The creatures on the island were kind of interesting and the soldiers interactions with them. They couldn't even really get that right though.
The evil bone creatures in the movie were the most retarded looking things ever. They were anatomically retarded. Two fucking legs, off-balance, a tail, and a beak? WTF kind of retarded monster is that? I'd like to slap the shit out of the guy that thought that up. I can only imagine all of the better ideas that were scrapped in favor of that retarded Dodo Bird mother fucker.
The native people were not terrible but did not live up to the natives in the previous movie. Granted, the scene of first-contact with the natives in the last movie was hard to top. John C Reilly was kind of funny as the retard he typically plays. No qualms there.
The final battle was okay. but it was retarded how the humans were incorporated into the fight, like they were really helping out..... The girl in the movie is pretty hot but was walking around in push-up bra the whole movie. The scene where Kong walks up to the tracker and the girl at night was absolutely awful. It was cringe-worthy.
This movie suffered from way to much Samuel Jackson. The movie sort of becomes about him at the end. He shouldn't have been such a central character. The guy is fucking cancer to a movie.
Overall the movie sucks pretty bad but is mildy entertaining.
5/10
